Hi, my name is Joseph... and I have a problem.
 

I went out partying with my good friend, Kelly, and it was understood that we were going out as a couple that night.

Well, at the bar, Kelly started getting a little drunk. Next thing I know, I'm giving a ride to her and this other guy she started talking to that said he needed a ride.

I dropped the guy off, and then Kelly said that she needed to go inside to use the bathroom.

After waiting for a while, I went in to check up and Kelly was in the bathroom having loud sex with this guy.

I was humiliated and drove home crying. The next day Kelly called up and was acting all innocent. When I said I didn't want to talk to her, she said that I was just a "Wierd stalker Jewish asshole" and she hated me.

I've just had a very bad couple of years. I hate to go on and on, but it all started last summer when I lost my job at Adbrite. My boss, Pud Kaplan, lost the position as CEO. On his way being escorted out of the building, he yelled at me and called me a fruitcake.

A few weeks later, I was canned. I tried to go out at night to make myself feel better. I ended up with this girl I'll call 'Scamp.' One night we were going at it and she was making sounds and I said, 'are you dying?' and she suddenly freaked out and left.

I guess I'm just very depressed. What can I do to feel better? And is there anyone in Washington DC that wants to hook up tonight?

Singing off,

Joe Wang
8792372632

What... THE HELL. :eek:

Spam.

huh?

Not at all. I'm open to suggestions. I'm not a spammer, this is my actual life. I thought I might get some anonymous support, but I see that I can't even get that. Sorry to put you out.

Try a chat room or something. (And word of advice--you shouldn't put your phone number on the Internet, that is NOT wise.)

Anonymous support for what? Life happens...deal with it....weird...o.

It's just that we don't usually get so much personal information from a new poster.

And this isn't a site where people solicit hook-ups. You may want to delete your post -- there is a bit of personal information in there.

LOL. This is classic. And you gotta love the Canadian phone number!

Well I can see you're shunning me, but I just wanted to go back to an old support group from back in my youth. I'm an old Sigma Nu.

I don't have anything to hide... and I just wanted to 'chat' so why shouldn't I 'chat' on a site that is called 'Greekchat.'

But why get off the subject. I'm depressed and need a pick me up. So instead of shuffling me off, why not try to offer a brother some help.

The whole thread is just odd. If you are looking for some random person, go to a bar and open up a phonebook. Better yet, go to Craigslist. (For those who cannot tell, my post is dripping with sarcasm)

Hey man, you sound like an idiot.

THat's not my phone number. Back in Sigma Nu we were assigned numbers. Maybe things are much different.

Adding on-- to help your depression: take a break from the ladies and get in with some new friends who don't suck.

DC has a lot going on for young people-- Young Repubs/Dems, volunteer groups, intramural sports (kickball is pretty popular), etc. Try something like that.

A new job might be in order, too-- maybe you will move somewhere else, go back to school, etc.

Sorry if you're having a bad time of it. Sh*t happens, but you have to pull yourself up. If all else fails, talk to a shrink-- can help you balance out priorities and figure out why it seems like the people around you keep failing you.

Maybe post this in the Sigma Nu forum--I am sure your brothers will be thrilled to tell you what they think.

Sorry to offend, Heather. I went to the most neutral/off topic place on the site I could find.

Um, there's a Dating and Relationships forum, smart one...

Well, so far the responses are that I should post
1)In the Sigma Nu section
2)In the Dating/Relationship section.

And I was called an idiot. This isn't the most supportive forum out there, is it. I posted under "general chat/chit chat." That means off-topic.

And the fact that I said I wanted to hook up with someone in the area, you think that's wierd? Maybe this will shock you, but there's just a little bit of casual sex going on in fraternities and sororities, and that's putting it mildly. The prudishness is somewhat amusing. You think that urges like that stop when you get out of college? Heck, you probably think 27 years old is over the hill.

Well, you are all probably saying to yourselves that you won't end up with job problems, or relationship problems when you get out of school, or you'll never be lonely. Well, I'm lonely, and I think you'll find that outside of college, most people are lonely. I'm sorry that you think that's a crime, but this place is suppossed to be about fraternity, togetherness and so on. The fact is, once you get out of college, I think you'll all find that the pool of available people to run with and date is going to dry up drastically.

I just came in here to blow off some steam about that.

Go to a dating service. :)

Yeah, like eharmony? What a nightmare. You jump through several hoops to get to an open communication stage and then you meet IRL and it's terrible... the person was nothing like they said, or they have kids or major baggage... I'm not saying I'm perfect, but at least I didn't run up $50K on credit cards to buy shoes.

It's kind of tough being in your thirties and looking for a mate that isn't all used up or an alcoholic or something. Savor your 20s!

I'm married so I don't have to savor my twenties, or look for dates online. You seem like you have a lot of excuses. How about a little less whining and a little more action? It's Friday night, go out and have some fun.

You want support? Try Hanes.

Welcome to GC. We're direct, truthful, and we don't sugarcoat.

That's pretty snappy, I'll have to remember that the next time someone asks me for help. I do appreciate your honesty though.

I might whine a lot, but it's only because I know I'm a beta male. Women want Alpha's, not betas, and I will always be a Beta. I only got laid twice during my four years in a frat. That's pathetic, isn't it.

Go ahead, be honest, don't sugarcoat, that's why I'm here.

Well, good for you, but it sounds like you're bragging. No, I'm not as lucky as you to get married and always have someone there for you.

As for getting out, I've been getting out now for years and years and it hasn't really led to happiness in all those thousands of tries... I mean, in terms of finding something serious. You'll probably tell me to go to Starbucks or Borders Book Store or the Grocery Store or a Bar. And all those places suck.

I'm happy you don't have to look for dates online; I know I'm pathetic by comparison.

Not really. I guess it depends on your point of view. I don't understand why you need to let the world know how many people you got into bed.

And you going on and on about how pathetic you are is pathetic within itself. Snap out of it.

Strong first post.

It's just the point of view of a guy. This sort of thing is important to guys, don't let them tell you it isn't. We all want to do it as much as possible. I like being honest and direct myself. It's not so much the number as it is the fact that you either get it or you don't.

You'll meet oh so sensitive guys in your women's studies classes that pretend not to be misogynists, but deep down they're all pigs just like me. Which is not something bad.... it just is, you know? It's in our nature.

Hi Mystic Cat.

It's a real company and Pud is a real person. You can check it out if you want. He used to be a very popular guy and was pretty A-list for the internet. He's slipped a lot in the past few years though. That, and he's balding.

Yeah, I know that. I know a lot of guys that care about the number very much and I think it is silly.

And what's more, the fact is that it is impossible for boys and girls to be just friends. Unless they happen to be homosexual.

You might have a little beta boy that you pal around with and tell all your problems to, but he secretly wants you in bed and you secretly know that.

You seem more like a "nice" guy than a pig. A pig wouldn't have gotten played like that, or taken it so personally if they did.

I don't know if you are legit or not, but my general suggestion would be stop trying for a while, join a gym, get buff, take some dance classes, maybe buy some new clothes, and get a more aggressive attitude.

Damn man, if there is a girl out there that wants a whiny guy with no self confidence . . well who would want her?

ETA: Don't forget to wash behind your ears.

I think the hard truth of the matter is... that I don't really like women. I'm attracted to them, but I tend not to like them. It's like, why should I 'try to get buff' or 'act aggressive.' I'm not a jock, I don't want to be something I'm not, why should I change?

I like old women, they're easy to talk to, no bullshit likeable people.

Young girls are all catty, and when you get to be older and you're pawing around trying to find someone decent, you can't, so you just end up with hook ups, like my friend Kelly I mentioned. I can't believe I fell in love with that ho.

A lot of other girls just seem to have these unrealistic expectations. Have you seen their postings on Craigslist, etc? They list like a 1000 things they want in a potential mate. And I'm not suppossed to feel inadequate?

American Women are worthless. And from what I can tell from my friend's marriage, they make terrible wives. I'm going to marry a nice, submissive Asian girl.

I hope you don't think I'm too out there, I just wanted to have an HONEST discussion about how I REALLY feel. I want you to all come back from this thread with the feeling that you interacted with someone online who wasn't pulling any punches or editing himself.

Thanks for listening.

Yeah. I know. I just get the idea that you want to make sure everyone knows and checks the websites out.

Meh, they're just small, profitless companies. There's really nothing to see. They were born of the dot com era and just refuse to die, I just thought I'd mention it. Sequoia funding will never get their money back out, and I'm actually quite happy about that.

Find one you like. Like men, women come in different flavors, sometimes you just have to gag enough times to find one you enjoy.

As far as who you are . . . your personality is just an interface you developed as a child to interact what with the people around you. Its malleable.

I am not saying to act aggressive. I am saying to be aggressive.

We function in a social world, you need to adjust yourself to achieve the type of attention you want from others.

To act in a way that denies you that attention, and then complain you are not getting what you want is insane. And to assume the world is going to change to conform to your inadequacies is just stupid.

Here's the problem: you might say that your personality is merely an interface, but I have always thought that my personality is born of behavior that people will accept from me, given my physical appearance and nonverbal cues.

For example, if a guy is not particularly good looking or physically imposing, no women or guys are going to accept him if he goes around acting like he's someone great like Bronson Pinchot. They'll cut him right off.

So you sort of adapt the persona that is acceptable to other people around you. It's a reward/punishment process.

And if you still persist in acting out of your "role" given to you by society, then you'll get mired down in a rut... like a motorcycle stuck in the mud.

Bragging? No, I'm just replying to what you told me to do--to savor my twenties. I don't have to, because I'm married and there's no need to do so. You sound like you're having a pity party to me.

Sirikwan?

Sessions
 

I am probably going to get slammed for this:

Joseph, have you talked to a professional? How is that working for you? You seem to have some self-esteem issues that are now hurting your morale.

Your post should be moved to the "Dating and Relationships" topic because your issues are relevant to interpersonal relationships. Also, GC is not "Jerry Springer" where you should feel empowered to dump your feelings on unsuspecting GC discussants...

How should one encounter your pain and suffering? (Who isn't licensed)

Joseph, I am going to ask you another question because I am trying to understand what is going on with you: by posting your concerns, what is it that you expect to gain from it?

No, I have not talked to a professional. Believe it or not, I like the anonymity of posting on the internet. I have included a bit of personal information, but not so much as you could identify me in any way.

I come from a family that says the same things I've heard in this thread so far: get a hobby, get buff, change your behavior, bootstraps, bootstraps. And definitely don't talk to a shrink.

In a way, I agree with them. Just because you have a degree means nothing, a good friend or family member can listen just as well if they are inclined. But I'm really very private with these issues, which is why I prefer forums such as this.

I disagree that I've dumped on anyone, though. I understand that a board has to be moderated to keep things decent, but if people just want to post emoticons and say only pleasant things, well, that's kind of boring. The discussion actually turns from substance to content and categorization and appropriateness.

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.