divorced needs advice...
 

I pledged with a sorority years ago and my then fiance made me quit...I married...had 2 kids and am now divorced. I'm attending the same school in August. My question is....will they let me back in the house if I'm divorced and have kids? I'm one of those that seriously fell of the face of the earth. I feel horrible about the whole deal. And I really miss being involved!!! Please tell me what you think. I'm 26 and I'm just now standing up for myself...

Honestly, at this stage, if I were you, I'd pursue other avenues. There are many ways to get involved in a community (university or otherwise). Focus on your kids and yourself.

I think it really depends on the nature of your school, whether you were initiated, your "free time" etc.

I was a collegiate member with a small child as a single parent. At the time, I was the same age as the rest of my chapter sisters. It was hard at times, but with effort, we made it work.

If you would be so much older than the rest of the chapter, will you really be able to participate in a manner that would be meaningful to you and the chapter. Will you be able to bear the expense? Are any of the current collegiate members even your contemporaries?

My thinking is right now your life is traveling a different road, but that is only for you to honestly decide. I sense you want the belonging again and perhaps looking to recapture what you feel was taken from you. There are so many ways to belong and move ahead, not back.

I wish you the best on this journey.

In the words of my 4 th grade teacher, Ms. Cortwight, " The dumbest question is the one you do not ask".

Approach the Sorority, meet some of the ladies and ask them what they think. If yes fine, Okay, if not, well, look for other avenues as was suggested.

As you know, being a Greek can take time and time is your most precious commodity with two kids!

Just check it out and see what happens.

Good luck!

Thanks for the replies...it actually helps to get some outside thoughts on this.

Does anyone know if you have to be a graduate to join an alum chapter? I guess I really need to ask someone from my past chapter. But it still doesn't hurt to see what you have to say. At least I can have all my questions ready...

What group are you a member of?

Sorry, not really a proper question is it?

At least at this point in time.

haha...that's not funny. Well, I pledged Kappa Alpha Theta...if that's what your getting at...

Why do you think that, Tom?

Some of what the OP has said makes me wonder if she might be NPHC rather than NPC. (ETA: I misread alum chapter as grad chapter, sorry.)

Additionally, it varies from group to group whether alumnae initiates have to be graduates. (ETA: since she's been initiated, this doesn't matter.)

What group she is in is in fact a pertinent question as far as the information she is seeking, it seems to me.

Why do you think differently?

Kappa Alpha Theta

Did you initiate? Did you leave your chapter in good standing?

...if the answer to both questions were yes, then mostly likely you could be a member of an alumnae chapter.

Yes, I was initiated...I'm not sure what "good standing" means exactly. I wasn't kicked out or anything like that.

Sorry, my reading comprehension skills are bad tonight.

On their national webpage I found this link for alumnae chapters. Maybe you could get in touch with someone from your area?

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/alumn...ae_Chapter.cfm

It's also possible that now that you've said which group, someone with more knowledge could pm you.

Once you have "alumna" status, I am quite certain that you cannot revert back to "collegian" status (and you would have flipped over to "alumna" status once you left that school).

this is a little bit of a highjack: will any groups let a member who resigned as an active re-initiate though AI?

I recently learn of a situation in which a mom resigned while she was an undergraduate (not any kind of scandal but did resign), but now has a daughter in the group. And it just seemed a little sad to me that the mom couldn't participate as fully as if she had remained a member. I don't even know if the mom would want to. It just started me thinking about it.

What was her status upon separation? She would have to have taken alumna status if she were no longer active, but still on campus. If she went "inactive", did she disaffiliate, was she removed, or something like that?

I know what my GLO's policy is, as it is in our bylaws, and I am sure each sorority is different, but the answers to these questions would be important.

I've never talked to the mom about it. The term used as I heard the story was "de-sistered" which suggests intentional disaffiliation and termination of membership to me.

I tend to think the answer is no, but I was just wondering.

Some orgs may have a policy that if a member was suspended/expelled, after a certain time, she could petition to be reinstated. She should check with her HQ.

That's very promising. I don't even know how much it bothers the mom, but if I ever get a chance to talk to the people involved, I'll mention that possibility.

If you left your chapter following your initiation because you dropped out of school, then you are considered an alumna (so long as you didn't owe the chapter any money before you left).

Contact your national HQ to confirm that you are listed as a member in good standing.

From there, you may join the local alumnae association, serve as a collegiate chapter adviser, etc., but you may not be part of the collegiate chapter itself.

Good luck and congrats on "dropping back into school." Best of luck with school and your career!!!

As long as she doesn't owe money she can probably petition HQ.

And if do owe money, can you just pay it and get back into being "in good standing"?

That would probably depend on the group. The best thing to do is contact Headquarters and find out.

Good for you going back to school!!

You should contact Kappa Alpha Theta headquarters and ask them. They are the only ones who can answer questions about their membership policies. The rest of us have no clue whatsoever.

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/

If you are in good standing, look into volunteering as an advisor in some capacity to the chapter. This would allow you to participate and make friends even if you aren't allowed to be a collegiate member. Many chapters actually have a hard time recruiting advisors and may really appreciate the help. Good luck.