Legacy Situation
 

Hi, I am going to a large school in the midwest with a competitive greek system and about to go through recruitment. I have a few legacies (mom, aunt, etc) to different sororities at different schools, and I am not overly concerned about these legacies having a big impact on my chances. However, I also have a biological sister who is currently at the school I am going to and in sorority ABC. ABC is a very strong, successful, competitive sorority. I know they are wonderful. However, I really do not know if they are the best fit for me. There are several other strong, wonderful groups of girls at my school. Do you think other groups will drop me as quickly as they can under the assumption that I will go ABC. I know it has been discussed that many sororities welcome the challenge for other legacies, but I wasn't sure if it made a difference that my sister was already there.

Thanks!

Your sister currently being a member of ABC at the same school where you are rushing will very likely impact your inv.itations to other sororities.

I would advise you to show sincere interest when you visit ALL the groups that interest you. When a PNM says things like "I am thrilled to be back here!" or "All of you are so nice to me -- it really makes me feel comfortable here." You will send a message that your mind is not set on your sister's group.

There are rules about what the sorority members can say to a PNM, but you can say anything you want to them.

Depending on your sisters involvement in Greek Life and the panhellenic attitude there, one possibility is to talk to your sister about it and ask her to let some of the women in greek life know that she doesn't want you to join her chapter just because she is there..... We had this situtuation at my school with 2 sisters and when the second came on campus, the older sister made it very clear to every chapter that she didn't want them to "pick her sisters chapter for her". She said that she and her sister were two completely different people who were possibly looking for different things and to treat her like any other PNM.
The younger sister ended up joining a different chapter than her sister but had they not been so open about her choosing her own chapter I think many of them would have dropped such a strong connection.

Are you extremely close to your sister? Or is she someone you probably wouldn't talk to if you weren't biologically related? (OK, I know that's exaggerating, but you know what I mean)

One of our sisters had a bio sister that she was NOT close to at all who went through rush. Quite honestly, we would have been shocked if she HAD pledged us.

If your situation is something like this, and people ask about your sister, you can find a way to say that just because your sister is an ABC, it doesn't mean you are ABC material, nor do you want to be.

It is possible to not list any legacies on your registration form. No one says you HAVE to. One of my sorority sisters was a legacy to TriDelta but she didn't list in on her registration form so she could have an equal shot at all the sororities. So if you are really that concerned about it, I would talk to your bio sister and let her know that you arent going to list your legacy.

If not, I would take the advice that NutBrnHair gave you.

Her sister is ON CAMPUS. It will be known whether she lists it or not.

Agreed. Whether or not she tells anyone she is a legacy, and whether or not she and her sister are BFF and likely to join the same sorority doesn't matter.

I would approach it from a positive perspective. I think it's fortunate that you have a sitting sister in a wonderful group. I understand that you want to make your own choice, but make the best of your sister's affiliation with a strong chapter.

I wish you the best -- please let us know how it turns out for you! :)

Do you have a unique last name? If for instance your last name is something generic like 'Smith' or 'Brown,' other sororities may not realize you are so-and-so's sister in ABC. You also included that you are at a large school so that may go unnoticed.

This past year we had a few girls come through recruitment who were big time legacies (i.e. third generation from the school's chapter) and a few girls who had siblings in other houses. Several of these girls told us that they wanted to be given a fair chance and that they were not committed to joining the house(s) they were legacies at. I'd say it was 50/50 with these girls in terms of joining their legacy house.

I don't think it would hurt to be open about your concerns. Express how excited you are about seeing what each house is like and really wanting to find your perfect fit. :)

My chapter dealt with this situation several times. I think it's best if a PNM brings it up first in early rounds like, "My sister is a member of ABC, but she isn't pressuring me to join there and wants me to find the chapter that's best for me." You're right about some sororities wanting to "steal" legacies, and you're right that some may write you off because your sister is an active member of ABC. When I came across this situation as a sister, I'd often make a note that you were a legacy of ABC but not "sold" on their chapter. Good luck!

local legacy dilemma
 

Another take on whether or not to put down legacies is the way a PNM is dealt with during rush. When you know that someone comes from a Greek family, your discussion takes a different tone. You know that they already come from a family who knows and understands the Greek system; you don't need to spend time explaining all that. Knowing they already have a point of reference on that opens up new avenues of discussion.

Also, if there is nothing down on the rush sheet, the question may come up: do you have any relatives who are in fraternities or sororities? Then do you lie, name only a few, or what? I see both sides of the issue. Some groups may cut the person, figuring he/she might just be a waste of time. But, some groups like PNMs who already have "Greek heritage" in their blood, whatever national.

You have to figure, also, at least with the chapter I advise, they like the "challenge" of rushing someone who is a leg. to another chapter on campus. That makes them work harder to try to impress the person and maybe win him away from his legacy group. Guys just often look at it as a competition which, in most regards, it is! Perhaps sororities are the same; I guess it just depends on the group.

The PNM should know not the DWELL on his or her legacy; that could be the kiss of death. Simply acknowledge it and maybe say, "Yes, my mom is a ____ from State, and that is part of the reason I am going through formal rush. She loved her Greek experience, and I'm hoping to find a home here that I will enjoy as much."

The year I was a PX, my friend Carrie went through rush when her sister Amy was already a member of our chapter. Ours is a very friendly Greek Community, and three of Amy's best friends were members of Tri-Delta and KD. They knew Carrie really well and were respected members of their sororities. And Carrie was adamant about not joining her "sister's sorority."

Despite this, and despite the friends pulling for her at their respective sororities, Carrie still got dropped by nearly every chapter after the first round. I probably heard a lot of MS details I wasn't supposed to know following Bid Day, but the girls were upset about how it all went down.

The story has a happy ending. Carrie fell in love with ADPi during recruitment week... and right before prefs she was sobbing hysterically on my shoulder because she was afraid she wouldn't receive a bid from ADPi!

And of course, she did end up becoming an ADPi and a very active sister, at that! So all's well that ends well.

My point is: Keep an open mind to your sister's sorority, along with all of the chapters at your school. You may want to do your own thing. But circumstances may bring you closer and you'll realize it would have been the right choice for you all along, regardless of your sister's involvement.

ETA: We all talk about the varying competitiveness and prestige of trying to "steal" someone else's legacy. But the rules of engagement start to change when the legacy sister is a curerent, active collegiate member at the same school during recruitment! Then it becomes very dismissive because it is implied that the PNM will go to her sister's house. I can't recall a single time when a legacy didn't pledge where her sister was a current chapter member. The only times two siblings wouldn't necessarily pledge the same chapter would be if they were twins rushing the same year, or if the legacy sister was no longer active at the chapter (alum).

This happened to my chapter this past Spring. We had a girl going through recruitment whos sister was currently an active sister in sorority XYZ...we were a little leary of her but she seemed to really like us. She kept coming back, telling Rho Chis how much she loved us, she even put us first in her rank list! Again we weren't sure about her but we extended her a bid because we really did love her and she ended up accepting it!

I think you just have to be open and say "yes my sister is a member of this but I would like to experience this for myself and find a place where I fit in and feel comfortable" and if you really like one group, really express your interest! They'll at least see you're interested and take that into account.

Legacys supposedly have a leg up!

But if they do not fit in with certain GLOs, they will not be, it is not automatic of course!

We had one that was and did not go!:o

Now, He wish he did, but to late!

Do not bank on anything!;):p

My school is large somewhat competitive (but not SEC competitive). Legacies occassionally get cut, depending on how competitive a particular chapter is, but there are never so many legacies that there are more than quota (usually no more than 6-8 per chapter). I was a Rho Gamma this past spring and I had three PNMs in my group who were "in house" legacies, just like you.

One of them, we'll call her Alissa, wanted her sister's chapter, and she got a bid there. Alissa had a pretty good choice of chapters come skit round and got her top 3 for preference. I should mention that although she got her top three, they are not the most competitive chapters on campus. They were chapters that compete the most with her legacy chapter, so it is safe to say that Alissa did not get cut because other chapters assumed that she was going elsewhere.

The second, we'll call her Ariel, did not want her sister's chapter. She wanted Alissa's legacy chapter and they both pledged that chapter. She did end up preffing her own legacy chapter, the one the pledged, and one other (she got 2 of her top 3). Ariel did get cut by one of the chapters that frequently competes with her legacy chapter, but I can't say for sure whether it was because they thought she was going elsewhere or just because they didn't think she would fit.

The third one, we'll call her Julie, wanted her sister's chapter, which is one of the most competitive on campus. She did end up pledging there, but the other two chapters that she preffed were waaaayyy random. Julie was cut by some of the other competitive chapters, but I can't say for sure the reasoning because obviously I don't know about their MS, but I can speculate that her legacy status did have something to do with her being cut by some chapters.

You might have some trouble getting cut more than you would if you were not a legacy. Members of other chapters might assume that you want your sister's chapter because you said it is one of the more competitive ones. People tend to assume that PNMs will pick the most competitive chapter that they can get into, which is not necessarily the case. The most competitive chapters will have to make their biggest cuts in the beginning of recruitment, and when a chapter has to cut so many women, they are looking for a reason, any reason, to cut a girl, even though they only have had 20 minutes-ish to get to know each PNM.

You won't be able to hide the fact that you are a legacy, so you might as well bring it up and make it crystal clear that you are not sure if you fit in to your sister's chapter, and show genuine interest at all parties. Even then, you still might get cut by many chapters. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!

To try and address y'all's questions:

We have a recognizable last name, but not super wierd. We are not "smith" or "brown" for sure. Also, my sister has been moderately visible on campus and through the greek system and we are from outta state, so many intelligent women will make the connection.

Also, I am "really not sure" if I want my sister's chapter, but I am still difinitely considering them. My sister and I are very close and have very similar personalities. However, I know that chapters change year to year, and I really want to try and feel out the pledge class above me rather than the one three years above me. So, while her sorority may be the best place for me, it may not. Being from out of state, I really do not knoe much about the chapters beyond my sister's opinion, and - while I really respect her opinion - she is only one voice and is a few pledge classes older than I am. So, I truly want to keep an open mind.

I suppose all chapters respoond to situations differently, so we will see how this turrs out!

I was in the same boat when I rushed -- Midwest school, fairly competetive (I think. I guess. I have no clue how competetive we are, but we have a large Greek population) -- and a sister who was a senior in a chapter. I was asked at every single house if I knew anyone Greek (thanks to me listing my legacies on my form), and I always replied, "Yes, I do, my sister is a sorority member here. I'm keeping my mind open, though, and I love that your sorority is so (insert compliment here)." I'm going to be honest, I know I was cut from one house because I was a legacy. But I also wasn't cut from a lot, and I ended up where I belonged (not my legacy chapter).

ETA: One of the girls in my pledge class was the younger sister of another chapter's president at the time. And she's happy. So that's good.

good luck and have fun during recruitment!

My daughter went through recruitment at a large Midwest school with a competitive rush last Aug. She was a double legacy (Mom and Grandma) to one sorority and a partial legacy (Aunt) in another. I was really worried that the legacy thing would hurt my daughter's rush. She ended up having a very successful recruitment due to keeping an open mind and being enthusiatic at every house. She did pref my house and is now one of my sisters, but she would've been happy at any of the 3 she preffed. My daughter got invites back to all 13 houses after open house day, and after 9 party day was only cut by 2 houses. We'll never know if that was because of her legacy status, but she didn't feel comfortable in either house from the get-go. Who Knows?

FaithHopeLove...I was in your same situation when I attended college. My older sister, Karen, pledged AOII the year before I started school. She and I were extremely close growing up since we had shared the same room (even shared a room in the sorority dorm throughout college), and I had decided to attend her university only because I really missed her after she was gone for only two or three months. I was a really independent 17 year old and thought I'd pick any sorority i wanted, but in reality, I never would have pledged another group for fear of alienating my sister. That was my situation. It doesn't have to be the same for you. Don't be afraid to talk to your sister about it. She may make sure sisters from the class just above you make sure to meet you so you can be sure you like them. As long as she knows you aren't a sure thing but that it won't effect your sisterly relationship, you should be fine. As for how to manage other groups, others have given great advice. I talked way too much about my sister...not meaning to imply that I would only pledge AOII, I think the other groups got that impression. Just have your response to this situation planned out ahead of time. Good luck! I hope you find your sister's group to be the one for you, though! There is definitely something special about sharing an extra bond with a biological sister!

I think that the Release Figures Method has changed a lot of things. Sororities don't welcome the challenge of trying to take a legacy away from another group as much now, because if they are unsuccessful they have wasted a spot. At competitive schools, it is very much the Sorority's ballgame if they are good at rush.
Best of luck to you though, I do agree that you should not rule out your sister's sorority just because it is hers. It might be yours too!

At KU, I feel like if you are a good rushee and other houses know that you have a sibling in another chapter it makes them want you even more. Houses always brag about getting other chapters sisters. So, hey...it might even play to your benefit!