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What! I Don't Need No Stinking Sorority!--An NPHC Membership Journey
Inspired by tld221's thread, I wanted to post my NPHC Membership Journey (Since NPHC membership is less about recruitment and more about pursuit.) It is a long one, because the pursuit lasted many years. I hope you all will enjoy. Without further ado, I present:
"I Don't Need No Stinking Sorority!" First, let me set the scene. I am a child of the eighties coming of age in the time of grunge, gansta rap, and the emergence of the boy band era in the early and mid-nineties. The music of the era was not the only media that was as diverse and it was descriptive; so to did the television programming of that era in many ways define certain generational boundaries. As a youth, my tastes were hard to pin down. I loved Transformers and Thundercats, but also cartoons like Jem and Punky Brewster (along with the series) and My Little Pony Tales. By the nineties, my taste was moving more towards sitcoms (though cartoons remained some of my favorite viewing). Again, my tastes were all over the place, I enjoyed anything and everything from the Disneyesque shows like Saved By the Bell and Boy Meets World, to the bawdy humor of shows like Married with Children and The Simpsons, to the wholesome family sitcoms like The Cosby Show and A Different World. (If this list reveals anything about my personality, perhap you will have discerned that I am a bit of a tomboy, fiercely individual and independent, idealistic, occasionally raunchy, and sometimes a bit sappy. All of these qualities may or may not help you to figure out where I eventually found my home.) In fact, those last two shows on that list actually represent my first exposure to Black Greek Life. There were some memorable pledging episodes (featuring characters that I love to this day) with Ron as both a pledge and a DP of Kappa Lambda Nu and Freddie and Kim defying and humiliating their DP Whitley as pledges of Alpha Delta Rho. Of course, at the time most of this was lost on me, seeming tangential to the romance between Dwayne and Whitley, the love quadrangle between Ron, Kim, Freddie and Shazza. Suffice to say, I had given Greek Life very little consideration by the time that I walked onto the campus of my HBCU in the fall of 199_. (I had never even seen School Days, which many of my new friends said was a huge factor in their deciding to attend an HBCU, along with A Different World--college freshman, what can you say). And for a good while, greek life and membership was the least of my concerns as I tried to figure out the whole college thing, worked to maintain a GPA that would help me keep my scholarship, and tried to make friends in this completely new environment, where everyone else seemed to already know each other. To be continued... |
Zoom zoom zoooooooom Kappa Lambda Nu!!!!!
MEMORIES!!!!!!! |
Because I have already talked so much about television, I will disguise the organizations by renaming them for shows from my youth: Punky Brewster, Boy Meets World, X-Men, and Thundercats.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming... But just because it was not really on my mind, does not me that there weren't freshman women already thinking about, plotting, and openly discussing (where is the discretion ;):D) which organizations they would pursue membership in. I remember distinctly being part of a conversation with several women in my dorm freshman year. The Thundercats had just had their probate, and everyone--with the exception of me--was excited about the prospect of pursuing membership. Several wanted to be Thundercats, several more wanted to be X-Men. Someone asked me if I wanted to pledge, and I said that I didn't know, because at that time, I hadn't really thought about it. (One of them said to me that I looked like a Punky Brewster. I didn't know it at the time, but I think she meant that to be an insult. I never really liked that girl.) Though the probate had been interesting, I still wasn't really sure about the purpose of these organizations. Of course, as most of us know, most D9 sororities do not allow women to pursue membership until they have attained sophomore status at an accredited four-year institution. I actually love this about these organizations, because it means that women (and men) have time to observe all of the organizations and really get a sense of what the organization and the women in it were all about. On top of that, of the three organizations that were active on my campus, all were having lines that year and would not have another line until two years later, my junior year. (By the time that I was eligible to pursue membership, all four Black Greek Letter Sororities were active on campus.) Throughout the rest of the year, I observed. There were step shows and dances. While the stepping was impressive, it did not seem reason enough to join an organization. I had participated in a dorm step show that year, so that didn't seem like a huge thing to me. And I am a homebody, utterly and completely. I went to three or four dances (this includes one ill-fated trip to the club) my entire freshman year, so that was not really a draw either. Of course, the men and women wore letters and colors to represent their different organizations and that was cool, but again not really a compelling reason to join any organization. By far, among the sororities, Thundercats were the dominating presence, there were just so many of them. While some were impressed with how many women were members in this organization, size was always an inconsequential thing to me. Also active in my first year were Boy Meets World and Punky Brewster. I only saw these women on occasion, so I did not have much to form an impression of them. Overall, there was not much to distinguish the organizations with the exception of colors and letters. Punky Brewster's colors were my favorite. In fact, I often wore them together, and my first really nice suit was in one of that org.'s colors. ( I have that suit to this day). Several times, I was mistaken for a Punky Brewster (hmmm, maybe I did look like one) when I was wearing that suit (or maybe it was just the colors). Of course, at that point, I did not know anything about the service aspects of these organizations. There wasn't a lot of promotion of those activities.... |
Well we get hints as to whos who later in the thread? Or did I miss the hints?
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Hints will come later. They will be subtle though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. :) But feel free to start guessing.
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As My Impression Changed...
...going from non-existent to bad....
In addition to not being that well-versed about Greek life, my initial experiences with Greek Life in general did not leave me with very favorable impressions of these organizations. I made a couple of rookie mistakes--such as sitting in an area that unofficially belonged to one fraternity and being asked none-to-gently, in front of a crowd of people, to move (I was with friends at the time, so that softened the sting a bit). Also, I was actually manhandled by a member of another fraternity for stepping on grass that had been marked as territory by his fraternity! Never mind that that patch of grass was on the front side of my dorm! I mean, I understand being enthusiastic about your organization, believe me I do, but you are doing a bit much laying your hands on me over a piece of grass. In the whole grand scheme of things, these incidents were quite insignificant. But in the mind of an impressionable young freshman these events took on a great magnitude. (Granted, most of these early negative experiences had to do with fraternities and not sororities.) Greeks had attitude, I decided, and that was not something that I was interested in. By the end of my freshman year, I had essentially decided not to pursue membership in any organization. None of what I had seen had particularly impressed me or inspired me to explore the matter more. There were so many other activities and organizations that were available to me, not to mention keeping my grades up, that I didn't really see the point. I was shutting the door on greekdom.... Dunh, dunh, dunnnnnnnh.... Will SISTERGREEK change her mind? (Well obviously I will.) More importantly, what will happen to change SISTERGREEK's mind. Also, what will SISTERGREEK's impressions of the different sororities be? Tune in next time to "I Don't Need No Stinking Sorority!" |
Lol! I think the part about the suit gives something away seeing as how it's not very common for "average" non-greeks to wear suits in certain color combinations. That narrows that one down a tiny bit. I'm going to be rooting for Punky Brewster. I grew UP on Soleil Moon Frye, she's awesome!
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This is good. So good, half the bag of popcorn is gone.:D
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SisterGreek, did we go to school together? LOL.
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and SISTERGREEK - glad i was an inspiration - keep it coming! |
Fast-forward to the end of my junior year.
At this point, all four organizations were on campus. X-Men had crossed a line the year before and their numbers began to rival those of Thundercats. By this time, many of my friends had crossed into the various organizations on campus. Also, many of my friends had tried and failed to gain membership in different organizations (including one series of unfortunate events that put an end to what I thought was a really strong friendship). By that time, I was beginning to be able to distinguish between the organizations based on the women that I knew who became a part of them.
I knew one woman quite well who joined Boy Meets World. She was a year behind me, and her coming out was entirely unexpected; I never even knew she was interested in a sorority. She was studious and in my major. We were also in an organization together. I liked her a lot because she was kind, steady, and reliable. She was my first real impression of the kind of women that Boy Meets World attracted, and it was an overwhelmingly positive one. I was really happy for her when I found out that she had crossed. I knew several women who had joined the Thundercats. These women were smart, campus leaders, and quite visible socially as well. But there was something about the women who became Thundercats. They completely changed. Many of them seemed to carry themselves as though they were the ish (and not in the good way, in the bad way) now that they were members of their organization. It seemed that for many of them, their organization made them. This was not the case for all of them. There were several women that crossed whom I continued to good friends with. These women were intelligent and friendly, women that I greatly respected on campus. Also, a few women that I knew and really respected wanted to be Thundercats but were denied membership. But it did not sit well with me that most of the Thundercats seemed to be of the former variety. My impression of Thundercats at this point was not very good. I also knew several women that had crossed into X-Men. Like the women of Thundercats, these women were smart (one was the valedictorian the year that I graduated), campus leaders, and very much socially prominent. Many of the women who became X-Men were actually women that had lived in my freshman dorm. However, unlike the Thundercats, I did not see any manifestations of a newfound superiority complex in the X-Men. They were the same women that they had been before they crossed, I just saw them less frequently now. Of course, there was that one X-Men that skipped out on her duties for an organization that I was president of (though that did not happen until senior year), but her linesister was right there to pick up her slack, which I respected. And last, but not least, there was Punky Brewster. I still had not come into contact with any Punky Brewsters. I did not know, personally, any women that had crossed. I would see them occasionally on campus, but never had a really in-depth conversation with one. But for some reason, I didn't quite discount Punky Brewster, maybe because of the colors. (I really like that combination). The really important thing that happened my junior year was that I begin to reevaluate the sorority thing. Seeing women that I knew and respected joining each of these organizations made me give it a second glance. I begin to wonder what drew them to these organizations; there must be something more to it then I saw. I decided that I would spend the summer researching the organizations before make a final decision of whether to pursue membership or not. To be continued.... |
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i'm rooting for BMW only cause i wasn't a cartoon watcher and well, Ben Savage and Rider Strong pretty much rocked my socks in the mid-90s.
and well, they sounds awesome in this thread too. |
Oh, and there was that other "thing" that happened junior year. :D ;)
What is it? What is that thing?..... :D |
I have to go with tld, I'm a Boy Meets World girl to the core -I'm not ashamed to admit that I still watch it allll the time on ABC family:rolleyes:
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RITY? |
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TLD, you're a mess! SisterGreek, gotcha! we weren't at the same school, although your campus sounds scarily similar to mine. |
The Saga continues...
First, no, I am not her, but I just couldn't resist. (What a character! lol.)
Second, I remain a huge fan of Boy Meets World, the show; if I had ABC Family, I would be watching it still. The other thing that year, which really gave me another positive image of these organizations, happened the day that one of the fraternities was probating. The probate area on our campus is fairly close to the cafeteria and around six that evening, the cafe was full of folks eating dinner. All of the sudden, as I watched, there was a mass exodus. I was so oblivious; I had no idea why. What I did see was that none of those who had left had cleared away their trays; they were all in such a hurry to jostle for best position to view the probate. This was frustrating to me, because I felt that our cafeteria workers were already overworked and shouldn't have to clean up after all of those grown folks. I turned back to my food, resolving to help clean up the trays when I was finished eating. Just a few minutes later, members of the fraternity that was having, at that moment, its probate, poured into the cafeteria. Within five minutes, they had methodically cleared all of the tables, while the guy who seemed to be in charge sat eating a plate of food, watching, and directing. (Oh, this was also the fraternity whose member had manhandled me during my freshman year.) In my mind, it was the most decent thing that I had ever seen any organization do collectively; and I went over and told the guy who was sitting down that. He thanked me and we had a nice little chat. That one small act did as much to change my perception of this organization as the early incident had; and it also influenced my perception all of the organizations. This coupled with my friends experiences made me think that maybe there was something to them after all. So I guess for me, these seemingly small moments and personal interactions--as opposed to all of the fan fare--were the ones that really shaped my perspective on greek life. To be concluded soon... |
I think we all think it's okay if you tell us the real names of the fraternities since we know you don't join one of those. :)
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jokes jokes. of course. |
Interesting Thread!!!:D
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I have a few ideas of who is who, but somebody PM me to tell me the deal! Please:)
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Yes, the students leaving their trays did show a lack of home-training and common courtesy.
OK, since folks want to know: The "You Can't Sit There" Fraternity: Alpha Phi Alpha The "Man-Handling/Cafe Cleaning" Fraternity: Omega Psi Phi |
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but at the same time, i always hear guys who are interested in Que talk about how they admire their community service, even if it is the seemingly littlest thing (i know, all the frats do service, but i've heard this moreso than about the others from interests) |
For me, the act was quite unexpected. I mean, I had this impression of that organization, based on the behavior of the members that I had observed and encountered, that would not have predicted such an thoughtful act.
Though the Omegas on my campus were some beautiful brothers (they had this trio of members who all had locks, they were specimens of near perfections), I mostly only knew them for standing around under their tree and harassing hapless freshman who happened to wander onto their grass. |
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^^You know, I wish I did. Writing this has made me remember things that I haven't thought about in a long time. I wonder what those guys look like now?
The summer before my senior year, I begin to systematically research the organizations: all of them, even the ones that I did not have a particularly favorable impression of. I knew I still had an opportunity to pledge because for some reason, at that point, organizations were taking lines every year, rather than every two years. What I learned about all of them was that they were so much more than the other college organizations that I was involved with. They were about “LIFETIME COMMITMENT” and “SERVICE.” Somehow, in all of my observation of these organizations on my campus, these two facts--particularly the service element--were lost on me. (Which means that all of our organizations could stand to do a better job of promoting our service dimension at the college level. I tell you, four years at an HBCU and I really did not see that aspect of these organizations being displayed on campus. In fact, what I did see was that people who were doing service in order to join these organizations quickly disappeared from the service projects after crossing. However, I don’t know if that was because they were now focusing on their organizations particular service endeavors or not. We have to do better with this. ) All of these organizations were doing positive things in the community and impacting the community in distinctive ways. As I continued to research, Thundercats and Boy Meets World fell by the wayside. Nothing about these organizations, from their respective foundings to their then current initiatives, resonated particularly strongly with me. Though I had a good impression of BMW from campus, I was not moved to seek membership in this organization, though I now understood why my friend had. The history and programming of Thundercats, while also significant, did not really inspire me; it really reaffirmed my campus impressions that this was not the organization for me. So that left X-Men and Punky Brewster. Both had very different things going for them. I had such strong, positive impressions of the X-Men on my campus and of course Punky Brewster had something very unique about its founding that was not easily dismissed. However, the founding and the vision of the X-Men seemed to me quite auspicious, and the programming was admirable and in line with my own philosophies about service and the women that were members of this organization were ones that I considered role models and whom I would want to one day call sorors (This is funny because when I initially became aware of greek life, this is the last organization that I thought I would identify so strongly with, and if you have read these posts closely, you will understand why). Ultimately, the unique elements of the founding of Punky Brewster was not enough to outshine the legacy of X-Men and the representation of the organization that I saw on my campus. But still, I wasn’t quite decided. I knew that if I were to pledge, I wanted only X-Men. It was X-Men or nothing at all. However, I was not sure whether I really truly wanted to pledge(I tend to overthink things; I am trying to be better about that). Of course, by the time I made up my mind, the process for that year’s line had already begun; so the undergrad ship had sailed for me and I had to turn my mind to pursuing graduate membership. Dunh, Dunh, Dunnnnnnnh......Will SISTERGREEK achieve her goal of membership in X-Men? (Well, obviously, I do.) Who are the mysterious X-Men? Who is the mysterious SISTERGREEK? (She only has a few posts, and yet she seems so well acquainted with this board.) Tune in for the cliffhanging ending of "I Don't Need No Stinking Sorority." Coming soon.... |
Great story Sistergreek! I love the cliffhangers...LOL
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now, who exactly are you, sistergreek? hmm... :scratches temple: |
Cool thread so far. keep it coming.
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argh.............what happens.........
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And now for the conclusion of "I Don't Need No Stinking Sorority"
Fast forward several years: Graduate membership pursuit is A Serious Matter! Unlike undergrad, where you might potentially run across members of any given organization on any given day, once you are out in the great wide world it is hard to make genuine contact with members; especially since most members do not generally identify themselves as such, at least not in the ways that undergrads do with nalia and such.
I had quite a few false starts in my pursuit of X-Men. There were times when I thought that I was on the right track and really close to my goal, only to end up back at square one. As I pursued membership with X-Men, my excitement about that prospect motivated my grandmother, who is an X-Men, to reactivate with her chapter (I had not known that she was a member until my junior year in college). I also learned so much more about X-Men as well as the entire Divine Nine. I read all of the histories that I could get my hands on, as well as books about greek life (I even came across a dissertation written about greek life). All of my additional research only confirmed what I already knew, X-Men was the only organization for me and was worth the effort of my pursuit. Also, in the mean time, I lived my life. I went to graduate school, I continue to serve the community, I continued to be active in other organizations. I alternately felt discouraged, pessimistic, excited, and hopeful throughout my pursuit. I even wrote poetry. |
Finally, at long last, on January 7th of this year, I, Little32, reached my goal and was initiated into:
ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY, INNNNNNCORPORATED. I guess there are a lot of morals to my tale; however, being an literature professor, I will let you discern them for yourself. Also, I hope that you have enjoyed my story; I have appreciated the opportunity to share. I really have enjoyed these threads, particularly the NPHC threads because of the kind of insight they offer into what it means to pursue membership. |
See Soror you had me thinking the other way around....I thought I had it figured out, but I didn't. Good story!
ETA...now everybody is gonna have a sockpuppet to tell thier story. |
Yeah, I wanted to use the nom de plume to keep people guessing. If I had written it as me, there wouldn't have been much suspense to the story; of course, I need all the help that I can get with building suspense. I am glad you enjoyed. :D
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Yayyyyyyyy! Great story!
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how bout THAT for a twist! gret job sistergreek!
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Thanks to you too tld221, as the inspiration for my sharing my story. |
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