Letters of Ref,help needed
 

I have exhausted all of my personal resources in finding ladies who could provide me with letters of reference that would be personal. Also,I have contacted local alumna associations and have not heard back. I would like to find help in obtaining "info only" letters or ref. I believe having those would be better than having none. The school I am attending is a competitive SEC school so this is of importance. I have already had two GC members assist me with obtaining "info only" refs. If you or someone you know could help me in any way please pm me. Listed below are the sororities for which I need letters of ref for. Thank you for your help and time.

alpha chi omega
chi omega
delta delta delta
delta zeta
gamma phi beta
kappa delta

Thank you!

Good luck with your recs and with recruitment!

:)

Isn't this the third thread you've started on this subject?

And don't forget to post and let us know how it goes... especially if it is UGA (but even if it isn't)!

I had to delete the other because it was not written well.:o Im sorry if I have bothered you with my thread(s). However, I am trying to be proactive and start Rush Week as well as possible.

What school are you rushing at?

Thank y'all for the wishes of good luck!

First, let me start off by saying that this is in no way directed to you, katestar. This is something I've noticed over a period of time.

I have to throw out a word of caution to PNMs who come onto GC asking for rec help, especially PNMs who cop a snarky attitude with "seasoned" GCers or those who leave questionable posts.

You're basically giving up your anonymity when you give your information out to someone you don't know on GC. You might think "Awesome! I secured an info-only rec!" But how do you know for sure that the woman didn't really write you a "NO REC" and check off the "I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS WOMAN FOR MEMBERSHIP" box?

A lot has changed ever since adpiucf started her Recommendations thread. GC's evolved into something like no other -- and some GCers will stop at nothing to make sure you don't stand a chance at their house if they didn't like something you said on GC.

My advice? If you want a successful rush...lurk for a while and try to remain as anonymous as possible until after rush. Try to get a feel of GC so you know who the "nice people" are. People love rush threads, but you don't have to post just to feed them.

For every "nice" person on GC there are two more snarky ones. JMHO.

This post isn't meant to scare PNMs. I'm just throwing reality out there.

Wow.Alright, I might just not try to find those last letters from here.

Not to mention the great amount of sorority members who think trying to get recs off the internet is a HUGE no-no

This one's not much better.

I wish you the best of luck. The other posters are correct. Some of us consider writing recs for girls we don't know a HUGE no-no.

I'm not picking on you, I'm sure you are a very nice girl. But I'm writing a letter to recommend you to my sisterhood, and I have no idea if your a stalker, or are psycho. (I'm sure you AREN'T. Just proving a point.) I, personally, don't want stalkers in my sorority.

Good luck in your search. I do wish you the best of luck in your endeavours.

I may be completely wrong, but isn't the idea of an "info only" rec. that there's no expectation that the writer of the rec. knows the woman?

I'd never write an internet rec. anyway, I don't think, but I'd have no problem with someone writing an internet rec. "info. only" rec as long as you had some method of verifying some of the info.

OTW, I'm afraid you are right, but I also kind of wonder how many people really do merge CG with RL enough to send no recs. I sometimes think that people who are otherwise super nice in real life just enjoy a license to snark here.

It's not a chance I'd personally take, and I don't know how much "info. only" recs help a PNM anyway.

Our form has a box to check that says "I do not personally know this woman, but she was refered by a trusted source".

I don't consider GC a "trusted scource".

I think the thing to do might be to contact an alumnae group near the poster and give them her information - to do with as they wish. I know that in the past we had alumnae who were associated with certain schools. So if a pnm from East High needed a rec, the East High associated alumna would network to find someone who knew her.

Nor do I, but I wouldn't think that checking that box is what's meant by info. only, right? Or is it?

See, I'm not really selfless and nice enough to open myself up to writing a bunch of recs for people who I don't know at all and don't even know people who know. (I do write them in my community, and I'd offer to help chapters find them, but I'm not opening myself up to working for random strangers, sorry OP.) But if such a selfless person really did exist, I've got no problem with her figuring out how to do the info. only rec, or maybe more likely, using the sister search to find a person who might know her in her hometown. As so many creepy people here have apparently demonstrated, it's easier to find people in RL than we want to admit. And you could use that power for good, if you were willing.

Yes, it's pretty much Info only. It's meant for if your sister's best friend's daughter (for example) needs a Rec, and you're the only person she has a connection to, but you've never met the girl before. I would consider that a "Trusted scource".

Well Im not just trying to get random refs. Im contacting these people several times through email/aim/the such. Also I have documented proof off all the information I am using ,so that anyone could be secure that it is all valid.You all raise very good points. I have literally exhausted all of my personal connections and thought this could be beneficial,however I am having many many second thoughts. Thank you all though.

If you're desperate for recs, I would suggest contacting Alumnae Panhellenics or former teachers/relatives/parents' friends. That seems to be the route that most PNMs take on here from what I've read. The problem with asking for recs on GC is that how do you know that people are who they say they are? What's stopping some psycho from registering a new name, saying they're an Alpha Chi Omega alumna, and pm'ing you saying that they could write you a rec, and voila! you just gave out all your information to a total stranger on the internet.

You're not? Because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Also, that little key to the left of the "Enter"...that's the apostrophe key...aquaint yourself with it.

Okay, you need to learn how to quit being such a snot.

If you're going to rip PNMs a new one for not knowing how to use the g-ddamn apostrophe key, maybe you should learn how to spell "ACQUAINT" first. While you're at it..."spesific" is spelled "specific". :rolleyes:

It's okay if you leave a nice post here and there. Or here's an idea...how's about refraining from leaving obnoxious comments? Everybody will know you're still annoying.

The PNM's already stated that she's erred in her ways. What else do you want?

She may have stated it, but that hasn't stopped her from continuing to persue it.

I'm glad you understand that we're not picking on you at all. If you want to ask GCers for recommendation help, that's fine. Honestly MOST of the people on this site are nice and would be willing to help you (not neccessarily write them for you, but would help you locate someone at least). We were just trying to let you know that there are some people on this site who are not as nice as they are.

oh.... wow. :eek:

2 Questions -- isn't it to the chapter's benefit to have info on every girl going through recruitment? Wouldn't this help the chapter target PNMs and get to know them before recruitment?

Why not just point the PNM in the right direction, where she can meet an alumna?
:confused:

soapbox time...

i may not always agree with OTW here on GC, but dear lord i agree. can we please stop harassing the incoming freshmen already? i can't even begin to imagine how horrified i might have been if GC had been my only source for information about greek life and recruitment. in many ways i'm relieved i never had to deal with the bull$hit on this site while i was going through recruitment.

just give the information or insight and move on. they'll either 'get it' or they won't. enough said.

and just a thought, if people being snarky and rude to you on GC still doesn't help you to 'get a clue', then what makes you think that being snarky to others is ANY MORE EFFECTIVE?! just stop.

pursue...

Thank you, sister.

Amen. And FYI, by being snarky you are giving naieve PNMs a bad vibe about your organization and sororities in general.

Well said.

Even better.

Yes, and I think it could apply generally not just with college freshmen.

(I do think telling a PNM something that she might not want to hear politely is different that harassing the new people, but I'm with your overall point completely. And I think one of the nice things about the OP of this thread is her receptiveness to acting on what she was advised in her previous thread.)

As far a recs on everyone being beneficial, it is true that it would be helpful, but only if you could be sure that the information in the recs was accurate. When you are writing recs on people you don't know at all, it's no more helpful than what the PNM would have put in her recruitment application.

Many chapters and Greek systems do not use recs at all. Some don't even have basic info (i.e. grades, class year etc) until rush actually commences as the women can keep signing up until the day rush starts. Plus, it's hard to "get to know" someone just through an info-only rec.

The posters who have been here for a while have been burned sometimes with trying to help people. Nancy Newbie might not see anything wrong with writing some nice girl on the internet a rec, or sending her to an alum, but the point is - she knows NOTHING about this person unless she's met her. I would hate to send someone a note saying "please help this girl" only to hear later she went through rush and was a total freakazoid.

The OP was told to go to family, friends etc - she came back 2 days later and said she had "exhausted all her personal resources." Take that as you will.

As I've said before, I'm not interested in working on internet recs, BUT we don't know that she hadn't exhausted those options even before she started the thread.

I think it would be possible for someone who had more of the milk of human kindness than I do, to find out the PNM's name and hometown, go to the sister search database on your website if you've got one, and email a couple of people who come up to see if they know the OP.

They may be women whom the OP has no idea were Greek or whom she hadn't had a chance to ask.

But as long as Nancy Newbie isn't an idiot, it could be done and perhaps done well. And if Nancy Newbie is an idiot, then it doesn't really matter what the rest of us think anyway; she's recommending questionable women for your org right now!

I have my name on the list for helping to find Recs.

I had a PNM send me a very nice PM asking for me to help her find recs, because she lived in one state and was going to school in a different state. I got in contact with BOTH the Alum group near her hometown AND near the school she was going to. I got someone from each group and gave her their contact info and her info to them. She started this process in May.

This is the way to use GC to get recs. NOT posting a list and hoping people come to you. NOT waiting until a few weeks before.

I get the feeling that katestar may be the first person in her family to go greek and did not know this. No one in my family is greek and if my school had required recs, I may have done the same thing. If my cousin decides to rush next year, I can warn her against it.

Just a little bit for y'all to know;
Yes, I am the first in my family to rush.
I have been looking on here for a while. I had never even heard of a Rec or its importance untill I found this site. I did not use "2 days" to exhaust my personal resources,I have been working on that quite longer. Yes,it is close to rush,that is why I am using GC,my last resort. No, this thread was not my only attempt. I sent nice pms also and got a few responses.Therefore I resulted to this thread. I have offered to contact the ladies helping me however they prefer and I can verify all of the information I provide them with.I realize that using GC isnt the best source but when you are totally unexperienced with Rush and done as much as you can,it starts to look like a good option.Also,I am sorry that I don't use the apostrophe key for my contractions when typing.I have learned alot through here. Im unsure about some sororities now because of the way their proud members have acted.
In closing,thank you to the helpful people on here.

Remember too that the sororities at your school have your information, and may be getting recs for you . Don't count on it, but don't panic too much if you are missing one or two.

Good advice Buttonz. This honestly isn't meant to be snarky, and not really directed at the OP in general, but I would highly advise any GC PNMs against going into recruitment saying "Well, some people on the internet with those letters in their signatures were mean to me so I'm not going to give them the time of day."

Honestly, people will look at you like you've got three heads if that's your explanation for why you don't want to be an XYZ. If someone said that to me during recruitment I'd probably have been like "Ummmm... okay....sorry you had a bad experience on the internet, peace out."

Buttonz is absolutely right, many NPC sororities have HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of members and you know what? You're probably not going to like everyone from any particular group on the internet, or within an individual chapter, or even your pledge class. That's okay, it's life, just please keep an open mind about every group when you're going through your recruitment. Even if an XYZ from the internet, or another campus, or whatever was mean to you at one point.