Question for the guys
 

Grrrr.

Can I call him? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I've been seeing this guy, and its early in the...whatever this is... but... he called me yesterday and left the sweetest most amazing message I think I've ever gotten. I called him back later that night and left a message.

I haven't heard back. YES, I know I have no real reason to be unglued, but for some reason I am. I really like him. He seems to really like me.

So my question is-- can I call him later on just so I can put an end to this self torture or do I have to wait for him to call me back? Remember, he placed the first call...

OK, I need to go get a grip now... LOL.
Amy

[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited March 20, 2001).]

Glad to see that there are still neurotic people in the world http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif.

If you want to call him call him, why would you wait?

If a guy likes you he likes it when you call, even a lot.

thank you James. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

and if he doesn't like me--it won't matter either. and if he's on the fence (which i doubt)--well apathy is my enemy. You either dig me or not. but considering when he was out of town I got an email referencing a 12 step amy deprivation program--i'd say i think i'm in the clear... grrrr.

Yeah, neuroses alive and well here!


[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited March 20, 2001).]

call him he'll be glad you did

If you didnt talk to him when you left your message, I would definitely make a point of calling him again. Especially since you like the guy so much. I'm mean if you dont you might think for a long time and wonder why you didnt. I say call him. I agree with James. Its nice to see there are still neurotic people in the world http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Kevin

just refer to my post about things that you did and you wish you didn't or you didn't and wish you did...that will explain everything...call him...talk to him..even if he doesn't take to you...you may be hurt for a short time, but if you get knocked down, get up, dust off, keep moving ahead.

"Jump at every chance you get, because it may be the last chance you do get."--me

thanks guys. I did call and leave a "breezy" and upbeat message. friendly. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

hopefully he will call back. grrrr. i hate this. crushes are soooo uncomfortable.

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
Amy

Just kiss him. He seems like he's into you. Just go for it, you only live once.

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif um, we've already kissed and more...

ok well this seems to have been somewhat resolved already, but - i think a good policy for girls is to basically tell guys the way things will/should be . . . many of my female friends complain about stuff like this, and it's generally a great policy to just take control of the situation - call him, ask him out, start discussions about the relationship , or whatever Guys generally respond well to that - we're lazy and we don't realize you're not, so it's not a big deal if i don't call back right away - i'll get to it later. but if you call, well great! takes it off my shoulders. aight, well there you have it . . . couldn't be simpler, huh? ; )

so I could bite the bullet and say, for instance that I'm not comfortable with seeing other people given the level of intimacy...? and not totally scare him off?

and you're worried about calling?

um, yeah. the scene is soooo different when not in college...that's the problem, i always expect it to be like it was then--fairly straightforward, you know a player when you meet him, etc. But its not... and damn these guys are slick...

Also my specific question/concern was in calling AGAIN. I returned his call yesterday and really want to talk to him, w/o waiting for him, you know? He's insanely busy workwise, and preparing to head out of town on business, so... grrrr. like i said, i hate this. ha ha


[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited March 21, 2001).]

hold back nothing, no regrets. Live life to the fullest, and don't look back on the past, people tend to get lost and forget about the future because of the what if....just kick ass and take names later!!! Oops..sorry..that's my rugby team talking for me again http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

a 12 step amy deprivation program doesn't sound like a player http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

thank you damasa and Billy. You are both right. Grrrr. I get wound too tightly sometimes. But why hasn't he called back? ha ha ha ha ha ha

Danger of too much thought and analysis. Hopefully I will hear from him soon, its getting weird.

Hey Amy,

I'm not a guy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif but I thought I'd respond anyway. You are ABSOLUTELY right about guys being slick out of college. I've met a couple of players lately and it took a while for me to figure out that they weren't the "nice" guys they originally appeared to be. They can hide themselves really well!!

One guy in particular was so into me from the moment we met that I was sure he was "the one." He'd call and we'd be on the phone for hours. He'd send the sweetest e-mails when he was out of town (he traveled alot for work, too). Then, about 4 months into our relationship, I find out that he's been seeing his "ex"-girlfriend the whole time (who he'd described to me as a psycho chick who stalked him) and that all those business trips were time he was spending with her. So, my advice is: Just be cautious! And good luck http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif We all deserve a nice guy!

I have to stay that I totally agree with dzrose. I thought I would post because I know what you're going through. You find this really great guy and you're afraid to call or call too much because you think he'll consider you to be a stalker. YEP...I've been there. I'd definitely say go for it!!! He sounds like a really nice guy and he sounds like he's genuinely interested in you. I have to agree with billy when he said that any guy with a 12 step amy deprivation plan is no player. He sounds like a sweetheart and I wish you the best of luck. Maybe if y'all end up together...I can finally have DAVE all to myself. LOL. Keep us posted!!!!

Allison

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~A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition~

Allison you crack me up. Dave was TWO BLOCKS form me this morning at an event in my neighborhood--if only I could've sniffed him out. ha ha

UPDATE: He called. Very apologetic. Work is killing him- he is a litigator. Extending his L.A. trip so we may see each other this weekend.

thanks everyone!
A

uh oh

uh-oh? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif please explain...

Oh never mind I read it wrong. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif I thought he was in L.A. Like permentaly and my friends (who almost was more than friends with) boyfriend went there to be a lawyer too. I already don't like him cuz all he had to do was send an email saying "i miss you" and he got her back. That was last semester though. so don't worry Its not the same guy unless he is named Andy and tall and blonde http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

definitely not the same guy. this guy is older. six years older than me.

I never met the guy but the girl is like three years older than me and he is kinda older than her, so good http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif neither one of you are getting played http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Thats great Amy. I hope everything works out http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

WOOT! WOOT! score one for the amycat!!!

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif You guys are the best. thank you! He called me three times today-left messages, left message, then got me.

Seeing him on Sunday before he leaves!

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif are you gonna tell us his name? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

robert.
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
sigma nu alum. cornell u.

oooo an ivy leaguer, huh?

yup. i do love those smart guys. hee hee

eh? girls out of college are the same way....and many of the girls that i've met in college are just as scandalous...it goes both ways ... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
damasa

yes, suffice it to say that nice, intelligent, courteous people are all too rare in this world.

I agree! And it's a depressing thing too! Keep looking though - there are more like us out there! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

dzrose, I had to check your profile to make sure we weren't dating the same guy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Exact same scenario/timeline/everything, except I was the so-called "crazy ex" (interesting, I usually don't take letters and phone calls professing your undying love as a breakup)

The thing is, I keep taking him back.

Bad Ginger.

Dewgirl,

You are too funny! I took mine back a couple of times as well, so don't feel too bad... Finally, after he showed up at my place to tell me that he couldn't go out that night (like we'd planned to do all week) and wouldn't give me a reason, I just got fed up with the whole situation, threw a fit, and threw HIM out! Funny, he got real attentive after that, leaving presents at my door, showing up at work on my birthday, etc. Sucking up didn't work on me that time, though. Too little, too late!! So, keep at it. You'll be able to ditch him for good eventually - and you'll feel better and stronger for doing it! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

DZrose -

There must be a player rule book or something. Ryan is the exact same way. I've had 5 times more dates cancelled with him than we've ever been on, because he's mysteriously called away on business trips on less than a day's notice or "client meetings" at bizarre times (um, your client wants to see you at 11pm on a Sunday night? I don't beleive you) But, when he turns on the charm, I have no resistance whatsoever. Flowers, letters, sweet phone and email messages, suprising me at work, you name it, he's done it. And I always believe him that "his time will be more under his control from now on" and we'll see each other more. Suuuuure.

One of these days, oh, one of these days....