lil sis rush
 

Talking with older guys that used to be in my fraternity we used to do this thing called lil sis rush which is usually the week after fraternity rush week where we would have a night where girls would come over and choose who they would want their big bro to be. The thing is I'm still fuzzy on a lot of details, and basically if anyone has any ideas on how to make it work, or any ideas in general i'd really appeciate it. Thanks.

It doesn't work, because little sisters groups do not exist anymore.

I've heard of unofficial lil sis's and its all for fun anyway. Anybody have ideas?

Just as an FYI, some NPC GLOs have rules against being a "little sister".

ALL NPCs have rules against being a little sister.

I thought so, but didn't want to assume . . .

It jeopordizes our single-sex status, and therefore is a big no-no (even unofficially).;)

A young lady can go through the whole "little sister" process if she wants.

It's when she labels herself as a member of XYZ Sorority and AB Fraternity Little Sister that HQs don't like...even if it's unofficial.

I am not in favor of these "big bro/lil sis" or vice-versa arrangements. I don't see what purpose it serves to have a "big" or "lil" who is not a member of your own organization. From what I have observed, these "big bro/lil sis" situations usually lead to nothing but drama for a chapter.

I'm not sure if it's "forbidden" or "strongly discouraged" by all of the groups. Obviously, "strongly discouraged" means you still can do it. Our policy wording says we "will decline" to join them.

At any rate, it's far more of a problem for the fraternity to have them than for sorority members to join them. I mean - there are chapters where a lot of the members are in (example) Tau Beta Sigma or Alpha Phi Omega. That doesn't make the sorority chapter a "satellite" of either org. If the fraternity's taking on little sisters and their nationals said they shouldn't, that's their problem and can get their chapter in trouble. I don't think one girl being an unofficial little sister would do the same to her sorority.

FWIW, when offical little sis programs existed, some of them had rules against being in an NPC group or any sorority.

Great potential for cross-hazing.

I know, right?

What I don't get is NPC members, who know that hazing is forbidden in all NPC organization, going along with completing these tasks.

The last thing I'd want is for some fraternity guy telling me what to do. If my own sisters won't do it, why should anybody else?

Exactly!

Oh, and tell the judge and/or jury that it was "unofficial." :rolleyes:

i'm a grad student at my university (not the same one as my undergrad) and they do this here. It makes me so mad! Both the fraternities and sororities have bigs of the opposite sex. i think not only does it cause cross-hazing, but i've heard it breeds more rape/sexual abuse too. they know they can't do this from their nationals. they get to wear their "bigs" letters on their windbreakers, but when national consultants come, its "everybody hide your jackets!". if you can't tell your nationals about something you're doing, then wouldn't it click that what you're doing is wrong??? the greek life advisor knows about this and just lets it happen anyways.

Hmmm...why any woman would let a man of her same age group, who is not related to her call her "lil" is beyond me.

At my alma mater, I knew of a fraternity that had "lil sisters." One of the guys once told me that they each pick girls they want to hook up with, and that's what it's based on. I later heard of numerous incidents of near-assault and actual assault of women who were "lil sisters." This org. is not campus anymore, to my knowledge.

One of my good friends went where you are. She explained the whole thing to me and I just found it SO bizarre. Especially since it seemed like she hung out with guys from a different fraternity more than those from her "brother's" fraternity. Unless the fraternity has a really truly little sister program I just don't see the point.

^It can be creepy. From my observations as an undergrad (and now as an administrator), it appears that some fraternities offer "lil sis" status to primarily freshman women who really don't know the purpose of greek life yet (or else they probably would have joined a sorority).

When I was an undergrad, one fraternity that had many Latino members (but was not a LGLO) tried to get freshmen women to join their "lil sis" program by telling them that it was REQUIRED if they wanted to have a chance at joining MY sorority! :mad::mad::mad:

The problem is that some people don't know where to draw the line, so on a national level it was decided against doing it at all. Same way with hazing. There are some perfectly innocent things that now cannot be done, because people took them too far...and rather than wasting time defining down to the T (because some people need it broken down to the umpteenth extent), they just banned it all together.

Bottom line: YOU NEED TO DROP IT. You are not going to change people's minds. They're not going to say "Oh, now that you put it THAT way, breaking National rules is a-okay!".

I remember a chapter meeting when I was an active (way back in the early 1980s) when a well-respected member of the university faculty and a Chi Omega alumna spoke to us about just this sort of thing.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

She said, don't let yourself get involved in any Big Brother Little Sister type of relationship. It is subservient. If you wish to be thought of as an equal, you will not let yourself be considered anyone's LITTLE sister.

On a related note, she asked us not to "squeel!" She said it was a high-pitched valley girl type sound that was most annoying!

This was 25 years ago. Good advice to this day, I think.

Beating the dead horse...
 

I know there was a documented case a few years ago in Kentucky of a sorority woman buying a drink for her little brother at a bar. (Mind you, this relationship was purely unofficial!) Long story, short...he died in a car accident later that night. All parties were named in the suit -- individuals, chapters, national organizations, etc.

He wasn't being "hazed," the friends said -- he did it of his own free will.

Yes, but how many times have you already been told that it's frowned upon here? I would think you would get the hint and stop posting about it.

You're quick to defend the girl because you haven't seen the posts she's been leaving in the past 2 days. Just sayin'...

After being given information that little sister programs were a no-no, she still insisted on pressing the issue. I hardly qualify that as "not meaning anything by it."

Let's get one thing straight: AXiDlinds is not talking about a "little sister program" in the sense of a group that has organized rush, pledging and initiation. It's more of a "pick random people and do stuff for them so we can wear each other's letters." I don't think - at least she didn't mention - that everyone whose "big brother" is a Sigma Nu will have meetings or be any kind of cohesive unit.

I know they're both no good as far as NPC & IFC are concerned, but there IS a difference between the two.

EXACTLY!!!!!

I know this is kind of late but..
 

my school doesn't have brother fraternities, so each fraternity meets with a sorority where they do a swap, with the sorority getting little brothers and the fraternity getting little sisters. You don't do anything for them, you don't wear their letters, it's mostly so you can have someone in the fraternity to feel closer to, and comfortable around. It's not subservient at all!

My campus has bigs/lils. Like KSUViolet said, it happens like this: "Hey, want to be my big/lil?" ..."Okay". There's no rush/pledge/initiation, anything. They do, however, swap paddles and jerseys. The lil makes the big a paddle and the big makes the lil a jersey with the lil's letters and the big's written out fraternity or sorority name on it.

Typically each person will have one big in their chapter and one big in a sorority/fraternity, and then as many littles as they are will to take/pay for jerseys- either in their own chapter or otherwise.

I've only been in my GLO for a year now... maybe it's not allowed but my campus certainly does not (and could not) hide it when our consultants come around. It's been the recent trend that paddles/jerseys get awarded to fraternity/sorority bigs and lils during those huge philanthropies. For example, at XYZ sorority's pageant event, Adam AB participates and his big Suzy XYZ is escorting him when he suddenly presents her with a paddle. Many time representatives from HQ (in this example, XYZ HQ) come to judge the event.

Until this thread I've heard nothing in regard to bigs/lils not being allowed. Nothing has ever been said in my chapter or other chapters, in fact, I would say it's neither encouraged nor discouraged.

Okay- now please don't hate me for sharing how my campus does things! ((Runs and hides))

Thats what is done at my school. If a guy is cool big sister asks them to be her littles big bro. After you get introduced, you go out for dinner or something. The little sister has no official affiliation with the fraternity. You may get into parties easier but thats all. It really means nothing its just for fun.

At my school, it's generally unspoken big/lil sister/brother. I have both a little and big brother, so do other members of my chapter. It is "frowned upon" by our nationals because of the sterotypes that come along with it (for example, when my big's national consultant came, he didn't completly understand how big/little was run at our school, in other chapters, they are just drinking buddies or sex partners).
My big and I became close and he asked me to be his little one day, same goes for my little, he asked me to be his big. My big's big sis is from a totally different chapter than I am. You generally have one big sis/brother from your own chapter and one from a fraternity/sorority, then as many littles as you want/can afford. The chapter never assigns you a specific chapter to be with, let alone your big/little.
Typically, the bigs get the littles a hoodie with the LITTLE's letters on it (you can't wear another chapters letters unless you go through certain ceremonys as detailed in bylaws or ritual) and underneath it will have the big's chapter SPELLED OUT lil' bro/sis. The littles usually make a paddle. I made my big a paddle and letters, same for my little.
I love my big and little, and don't really see how the "tradition" could become so skewed like you guys describe

Exactly. To be blunt, it seems to be the equivalent of spitting on food so no one else will eat it. "OMG HE'S MY BIG BROTHER GET OFF HIM YOU SLUT!"

The other thing I don't get is if it's at a small school where everyone in the Greek system is in each other's pockets anyway. It just seems like a way to create drama.

Actually its nothing like that at all. My big is really close to alot of members of my chapter and has other littles as well. Also, he's had a few girlfriends throughout the course of our "relationship".

Personally, I don't understand why its such a huge deal to all of you. I don't think you should sit there and knock big bro-lil sis relationships until you have one yourself. Its not about having someone call you a little and be degrading or anything like that.

Holy thread from 4 months ago batman.

If you're in an NPC sorority, you should ask your HQ that question hun. I'm 99% that NONE of the NPC HQs approve of it either, so it's not just us here.

I guess I just don't understand what the point is putting a label on a good friendship. It seems really juvenile. Isn't it enough to just say that "Josh and I are really good friends"?

I doubt that any groups (male or female) have official ritual for this kind of thing, therefore you're really treading into dangerous territory.

at my school, we place a LOT of emphasis on 'greek families'...so when we have bigs or littles from a fraternity, it's really so we can add them to our greek family tree :)
i made my big bro a kite and he made me a paddle...which is nice because i don't have one from my own chapter. i don't get to wear his letters or anything like that, he didn't order clothes for me, but bigs and littles between sororities and fraternities is one of the most time-honored tradition here to improve relationships between houses...that and sweetheart weeks.

i understand that the system has been abused a lot in the past and on other campuses, but we've never had that problem...neither have any of our advisers.

I had a good laugh and thought of this thread when one of my Facebook Live-Feeds was "Dolly Purvis Lyod (past National VP and about the most proper Southern ASA there is) has joined the Kappa Sigma Little Sisters Alumni Association Group".

Actually, it's Kappa Alpha little sisters.

But it was in 1993-4 that they made a big deal about it not being acceptable.

It threatens our ability to be a single sex organization. I would hate to be the chapter that ruined it for my entire GLO because I didn't follow the rules set forth by NPC. It only takes so many inches before you reach a mile.