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questions a PNM should ask during rush
Hey guys! So, techinically my rush is not for another 3 months, but, I would like to start making a mental note of good questions to ask sororities during rush so I dont like freeze up and have some awkward moments.
I'll start the list "What is your philanthropy?" PS I did many searches, but I couldn't find anything. |
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Lemme start off by saying that you should be asking lots of questions!! Not much is worse than a shy questionless PNM. Be sure to inquire about the philanthropy, dues, activies, socials, formal, homecoming/greek week, that kind of stuff. Also be interested in the sister you are speaking with. Get to know her, just like she is getting to know you. ask why she decided to join her sorority, and what she likes most about it. Ask if she holds any positions or if she lives in the house.There are a million things you could ask, but for you own sake, dont ask things that should be private or personal, or the 4 B's: boys, booze, bars, bible. hope that helped! |
Asking whoever is rushing you why they decided to go through recruitment/what they were looking for and why they joined their particular organization is a great one. It's an excellent conversation starter and I know for me it helped me find the right place. Most of the girls at KD said many of the same things that I was feeling and looking for and it helped me to know that I had found the perfect chapter!
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Not so much an answer to your question BUT...don't learn too much about the chapter or the organization before you go to a party. I had a friend who was also a sigma kappa at my school and she basically drilled me about the chapter so when I got to the party I had no questions and I felt dumb. I did explain to them why I already knew it all and I think that may have helped me get a bid, but yeah...leave yourself wide open.
I would ask about chapter traditions-those are always really neat. Ask about their philanthropy work, do they get together with other nearby chapters for anything, ask about finances, the time commitment (if you know you'll have to juggle your chapter with other activities), that kind of thing. |
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Trying very hard not to make an inappropriate comment right now. |
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What EVENTS do you organize to support your philanthropy
What opportunities are there for new members to server on committees What does the chapter do to support new members as they get acclimated to the chapter What do the sisters do when just hanging out at the house? Are there any national scholarship programs? |
I was also going to say, try not to ask questions such as "what do the letters mean?" or point to their crest and ask "what do those symbols mean?". That would be treading into ritual territory, and you don't want to put your hosts in an awkward position. Keep it light, breezy and the above advice is pretty good thus far.
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In general, ask open-ended questions (i.e. questions that CANNOT be answered with a simple "yes" or "no"). This keeps the conversation going.
For example: PNM: "Do you guys have socials?" Not open-ended. Instead, ask something like: "What kinds of social events do you guys have?" This leads to more conversation about date parties, formals, retreats, etc. |
While I agree that it's important to make sure you get all your questions answered, you also want to be careful not to grill the sister rushing you. Firing off question after question might make it sound like you have some kind of mental checklist or something. Definitely be genuinely interested in the answer and discuss it a decent amount before you shoot off another question. However, when I rush girls, I ALWAYS ask them if they have any questions that weren't covered during that round/by other girls who've rushed her - especially if they seem shy and might be scared to ask - and I appreciate the girls who do ask questions because it really does make you sound interested in the house.
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Are dues all inclusive? Will you be paying extra for formal, or for your date to go to formal?
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The four aforementioned B's are DEFINITELY no-nos. I will say this, though. If you are NOT a partying person, you might want to make sure you aren't getting into a house that parties 24/7. You can ask something like, "So do you guys go out together a lot?" And then, "Oh...well what's there to do in this town?" That doesn't imply that you're interested in any one activity, but if they list a bunch of bars to go to and little else, that should tell you something. This goes for anything that you're not comfortable around...if you aren't very religious or if you aren't very clingy...anything like that. Ask roundabout questions and look into the answers to find out if these are girls you'll be comfortable with. Because the girls you're meeting during recruitment are most likely not REALLY the girls you'll be with after. Recruitment, unfortunately, can be very fake. Also do ask about their philanthropy and ask some LIGHT questions about the national or international fraternity/sorority. If they can't answer these, this isn't a good sign. If philanthropy is very important to you, ask them what opportunities there are to raise money, where it goes, etc.
I would ask, nicely (and spacing out the questions if there's more than one) about things that will factor into your decision such as cost, the time it will take up (how many required events are there in a semester, typically?), whether or not you will have to live in the house and for how long, etc. Just make sure you space the questions out. It's not very nice to grill someone. A GOOD rusher, though, should ask if you have any questions while y'all are talking. You can then politely ask important questions, with more superficial ones to keep it light so that neither of you feels awkward. |
Thanks guys! These are so good and I wouldn't have come up with some of these! Also, thank you very much for the advice. I'm so excited to rush and I just want to have the best possible rush I can. :)
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Check out this thread. I compiled a list of questions based on feedback from PNMs and sorority members.
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At every house during round one I asked if there were any girls in the chapter involved in theatre and/or other time-consuming outside activities. Since I was going to major in it it was important to me to know that I would have time for both in my life. Often it resulted in my being introduced to a drama major/minor or someone who did community theatre (and a couple of times it resulted in "Ew, you do DRAMA?"). Either way it helped me to find out something that was important to me when looking for a fit.
Make sure you find out everything you need to know about finances and other commitments during recruitment. I can't tell you the number of girls I've known who have pledged various houses only to say "Hey wait, it's HOW much?" or "OMG I have to live in the HOUSE?" |
Thanks guys. I was wondering what questions I should ask the sisters during the parties. In the beginning, I was worried that if I ask about finances, I might get cut of something. But now I understand. Thanks again, guys.
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I ditto that, Alpha Frog. Nothing turns a rusher off more than to hear a rushee ask lots of questions about money. In the south, it's often considered rude to bring up money in polite conversation. Though we've had many an argument about archaic ideas of good manners, lots of questions about money makes people think that you have a money problem. No one wants to ask a girl to join just to have to beg her to pay dues later. Know before you go into rush how much it will cost on your campus. Panhellenic should have those figures. Automatically expect to pay a bit more for extras....that being said, these things are EXTRA...if you can't afford it, don't buy it!
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Yeah, I didn't think asking about finances would be appropriate during rush until they told us. :) I'm just wondering, do we have to pay extra for all of our shirts and stuff we get, or are they included in the dues you pay? Or is it different for every sorority?
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I think most chapters would have t-shirts as extras. Dues are already high enough paying for national fees, parlor fees, panhellenic fees, etc. Parties and shirts are usually in addition to dues. If a chapter has them included in dues, I'd expect their dues to be significantly higher than those who don't have these items included.
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...Really? We pay about 260/semester and all our Tshirts are included, as well as everything else.
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Wow...that's really nice! Our dues were a little higher, I think, but we had to buy all of our t-shirts. In a way I like it that way...if I didn't like a shirt, I didn't buy it. If it's included in dues then you are obligated to buy. Anyway, all of the chapters on campus ran that way. Is your chapter different than the other groups on campus or is that the norm for you area?
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That IS archaic if she can't ask that much without being cut. I'm very much southern myself but do not see the offense in asking a very important question like that. |
I always thought that (per an NPC rule), sororities had to disclose money info during recruitment (even if it's just a ballpark figure in the recruitment book).
At my alma mater, during Day 2 of Recruitment we all were required give the PNMs brochures/pamphlets with all of our financial info in them, including the following: *Dues (local/national) *New member fees *Initiation/Badge fees *Parlor fees *Room/Board fees *Whether socials were included (if not, how much out of pocket) *Fine information (whether the chapter fines & what for) In addition, each chapter's Treasurer did a short (3-5 min) presentation about the stuff in the pamphlet and about whether the chapter offered scholarships or payment plans. Yeah, we got some girls with a little "sticker shock" since we have to include alot of figures. But at least all of the info was out there and they could take it home, look it over, and think about whether they can afford it. That way, girls could see everything they'll have to pay in black & white, and there'd be no surprises after they got bids. Of course we're in northern OH, so I'm sure our money discussion etiquette is different, but I think it made for FEWER money questions during rush because anything you needed to know was on the paper. I think this might be a good practice for some of the more competitive schools. |
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I think they way y'all do it is a great idea. I don't really see ettiquette as an excuse, personally. I love being southern but by no means do I think that "southerness" shouldn't move to keep up with the times. Of course it does a chapter no good to pledge a girl who will never be able to keep up with her dues, but on the other hand assuming that she won't be able to based on questions about finances is very short sighted! I guess that's one of the downfalls of NPC Recruitment. |
I didn't mean that they shouldn't ask about money at all. Of course they should if they have concerns. But they shouldn't ask EVERY sister they talk to, or question after question about it.
If the sorority hasn't mentioned it by the party BEFORE prefs (you don't really want to discuss $$ at prefs, it kinda ruins it), then ask about it. Good way to phrase the question: "How much would you say your average dues are for a new member, and what all does that cover?" AND if you need to, you can follow that up with: "Does your treasurer have a payment plan?". But, then leave it at that. Don't go on and on about how payments are broken up, and what extras there are (because extras are EXTRAS), and what if I can't pay this semester, etc. |
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Interviewer: Why did you want to join ABC sorority? Me: I see a lot of potential for leadership opportunities in philanthropy and other areas. Interviewer: Give an example of the other areas where you see leadership opportunities Me: Well, when I rushed last year, I met a lot of girls who mentioned that they were Christian or Catholic, and as a member of Intervarsity (A christian group on campus), I was hoping that, if I have enough support, I could start a Bible study with the girls. I also see this as a potential opportunity to create an even tighter bond within the sisterhood |
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Why would you want to intentionally and knowingly respond or ask any questions that are stepping over any lines? Gah! Please get some coaching on how to converse. Your anxiety is coming across over the computer screen and I don't want you to be this way in person. There is such a thing as overthinking. You cannot anticipate every question and have a pre-fab response. |
This is weird that they actually interview the PNMs.
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Ew, I would be SO turned off by a PNM who said she wanted to start a bible study. SO turned off.
Now, I know this is very regional, and even my collegiate chapter had some women who gathered in the house to do this, but the amount of presumption in this question would really make me uncomfortable. I'm trying to decide if I am unnecessarily biased by the fact that I'm not a Christian, but I think I would be equally irritated with someone suggesting the chapter host a campaign event for a local politician or something. |
One of the Bs you're supposed to avoid is Bible. BIG NO NO.
And yes, it would be equally annoying if the PNM wanted to start a scrapbooking hour or something within the chapter. You have NO idea if the chapter has tried something or not and if it's succeeded or not, and you have no idea what the chapter needs in general. Focus on conveying YOUR special talents, let the chapter decide if they're an asset. Along these lines, I would probably be turned off by a pnm who talked incessantly about "leadership" - that would make me feel like she's just trying to pad her resume. That's my personal opinion, however. |
As a general rule, that the question of "Why do you want to join [insert organization]?" or "Why do you want to do [insert activity here]?" is best answered by a response that is unique to that organization or activity.
"I want to join a sorority so that I can participate in philanthropic activities and hold leadership positions," would therefore be not be the best answer. At any campus, there are plenty of organizations that would allow someone to hold leadership positions and/or participate in meaningful service. What sets being in a sorority apart from those other organizations to you? That's an unasked question that a good answer would allude to. Don't try to answer it directly because that would be highly awkward. What would you think of someone who said something along the lines of, "Unlike Philanthropic Club X, being in a sorority would allow me to..."? It'd be very awkward. Don't do that. Try and bring some finesse to your responses and to bring up unique aspects on both sides (unique aspects of the organization that appeal to you as well as things that stand out about you in a good way). Quote:
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That is basically saying, "I think your organization has faults and this is what you should do." Elizey7, would you like to hear that type of sentiment about an organization that is dear to your heart from a complete stranger? My guess is no. And then that stranger wants to join your organization to "fix" things as s/he sees fit? I'm sure that most people would not take kindly to this. Quote:
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People can be so tactless. |
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Elizey7, per your other posts on GC, you are hoping to join one of two locals at CSU-Channel Islands and previously rushed and not received a bid. In the thread on expansions, you noted that you are fearful that during rush you will come across in person the way you do on the computer. You also posted a response to APhiAnna's conversation thread. The best summary of advice is to dial back the intensity and have a normal conversation. If you are already friends with women in the local sorority, the conversation should flow naturally. You also should take a closer look at the second local and not pin all of your hopes on the first sorority.
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