Funny stuff
 

On a daily basis, I usually come across a variety of interesting links to things i find amusing. I thought I would start a thread to share these with all of you.

Now as a disclaimer, some of these things may not be in the best taste, so just a warning...lol but discuss as you see fit :)

also, if you come across anything, post it! yay! lol

first up....
old creepy advertisements

I see the Valtrex commercials and noticed the announcer saying:

"70% of the people who contracted Gential Herpes got it from their partner while they had no visible signs or symptoms"

So....I must ask...Who are these other 30% who are sleeping with people with a very visible outbreak?!? That is too weird.

oh wait... now i have a lot to post so here's some more:

God Blog
be sure to read all the back blogs!

Satan Blog
read the back ones! lol

Text messages decoded
lol sad but true...

hahaha i knowwww
or all the warnings they say during commercials, they are like... do not take this drug if you have heart related problems..liver/kidney problems... exercise... have sex... drink water... breath air..! like wtf?! lol

My kids crack up at the Lunesta commercial because it lists, as one of the side effects "drowsiness". Ummm, what else would a sleep aid do???

Oh, lets see how long this lasts?

Mine kept getting deleter!:mad:

"IF IT" stays up, I would love to post funnies on it!;)

Clean funnies so the Fun Police do not get upset!:rolleyes:

the honest campus tour

funny guy...

thats all i've got for now- i'll post more when i've done enough work ...at work in order to sit and search for useless things that make me laugh out loud and i look like an idiot :p

Go ahead and post your funnies.

PLEASE GOD NO. His idea of posting funnies is to empty his spam folder onto GC.

And I think I pointed out that Valtrex thing earlier. I mean, who does it with that nasty-nasty going on?

And in the OP, that Lysol thing made me :eek: and :mad: .

Sorry.

Oh...I didn't know Tom would empty his spam folder.

No, I'm just agreeing...I can't even remember what thread that's in. BUT WHO DOES THAT???:confused: :confused:

And yeah, Tom has a pretty messed up idea of what's funny. Most of includes racism and sexism. Oh, and sorority business.

lol you guys are cracking me up....

BTW Revelations...now that we can finally put Earp on ignore, would you please try not to quote him...otherwise it defeats the purpose. Or, if you must, send it through Drofille's translator.:D

OK....but really who does that!:confused:

If Tom just types that is funny enough!:D

i loove this one website, called www.gofugyourself.com

it is all about celebrity style mess ups, and is absolutely hilarious...

haha...that is pretty funny..and dont you love how they always have the people smiling, laughing riding bikes, riding horses....come on! you have herpes why are you smiling?...lol

I think someone else pointed this out on the other thread containing this discussion - but, if you had GH, wouldn't you AVOID activities that put pressure on "that area".:o

Someone at work picked up my drink and I said "that was my drink". She said sorry, then patted me on the back and said "it's ok, I'm not sick." I said, well you should be ok...I haven't had an outbreak for a while now...

"Oh great" she says.

LMAO. That is just wrong.

I like the part in the commercial when the dude goes "I have herpes." and the chick goes, "and I don't." Probably because I always call out, "you do now bitch, you do now!"

...Being a classy broad and everything.

I found this on one of my friend's myspace pages. If you are a pet lover you should find this absolutly hysterical!





Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:


8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:



Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the

other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although

I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must

eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that

keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I

once again vomit on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,

I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what that

means, and how to use it to my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,

so he is safe.



More tomorrow

how not to buy drugs

the answer is not always C

ruminations #85: Aaron Karo

Cause and Effect
read the comments
soooo funny


the real world... what to expect

It's because your "funny stuff" was usually spam, and some of it was pretty offensive to different genders/ethnic groups/etc.

I'm pretty sure that if this thread goes that way, it will be closed as well.

Two consistently funny sites:

www.mcsweeneys.net and www.banterist.com :D

Exactly what I was going to say.

Funny isn't it? My Bad!:eek:

I was in hopes there were Adults on G C, My Bad!:rolleyes:


A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new
CEO.The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On
a
tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The
room
was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant
business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How
much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I
make
$400 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's
four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room
and asked, " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from
Domino's."

Is this correct?:o

New secretary
 

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.

"Hey, bud, how are ya?"

"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"

"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!

"No way, how could that be?"

"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!"

"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"

"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"

So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"

The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"

Little Johnny Strikes Again
 

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN


Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so
much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said
the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back
home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said,
"What a cute baby you have.
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes," the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have
20/20 vision. "

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he
needed glasses."

Myspace and facebook meet for the first time

romeo and juliet reenacted by contemporary college kids

the lost diaries of your stuffed animals

train of thought on a long car ride

i have more... but i dug through the archives for these today... and i dont' want to put them all in one place :)

videos
 

Lee Hotti PSA

High Times

Sexual Harassment Employee Video

Ok this one is just freaking hysterical. Bunch of metro guys getting bashed.

wok it out

ok, this is my friend jake and his rich white boy friends doing a parody of UNK's "walk it out".... So funny

and this is him doing standup:
part 1
part 2
part 3

I thought it was amusing plus he's like my little bro, wanted to know what you guys thought of it, him and his friends have been featured on collegehumor and a few other big sites.

Wow, I tried this type of post several times and it got deleted.

Congratualtions on getting it on and not deleted!

Just guess that did show how small some people were/are!:D

That's because this thread is FUNNY....not your sexist, racist junk mail.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Hm, in the eye of the beholder isn't it?

Did not see anything any different from some of the things that I passed along!

Your normal dissertation of Self Rightiousness?;:eek:)

Oh you are to funny!;)

Is this OKAY?

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Costco when
they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my
wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife
look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue
eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she' s wearing tight white shorts, a halter
top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.":D

and how is that funny?