Your Reaction Please....
 

Okay I'll give my reasons later for why on earth I would ask for your reaction but here's the story....

So my daughter is invited to a frat formal.....she hasn't known the guy for too long. Seems like a nice guy. She doesn't want a relationship and she is very upfront with that from the start. He does. The closer they get to the formal he gets more clingy. She's just counting the days till the formal is over and she can move past this. He starts suggesting what to wear....short, tight, "slutty". This makes her uncomfortable but insists that she loves to look sexy but she is a classy girl. To make a long story short on the day before the formal he goes from those suggestions....to he wants to "make out" in front of everyone....to we'll be slipping out to the car......to wanting her to spend the night....to will she be drinking?.....to he might need to be slipping her a "Roofie".....

so what would your reaction be??????

My reaction would be:

"Fuck you, never talk to me again."

And I'd find something else to do on the night of the formal.

I might even tell his chapter president if I was feeling extra bold.

But I'm a boy, maybe girls handle things differently.

Depending on his character (creepy, class clown, jokester, normal guy) I would have said screw you. If he is one to joke around, then I'd laugh it off, but be careful.

Don't go to the formal. I know too many sisters that have been taken advantage of. They didn't realize it and attributed it to being wasted. (Its still rape you idiots!! ::shakes head:: ) You don't know what could happen. I'm sure that there will be other formals to attend with classier men. I've met numerous men that joke around, but this guy sounds like a creep.

Ditto to the quotes. But, to be honest, I wouldn't bother telling somebody in his organization because from what I've heard, in these types of situations, it doesn't matter. The frat brother will always stick with his frat brother - the girl & her organization will end up being the outcasts.

Stay away. Stay far away.

Well he's making his intentions clear from the get-go, so she needs to back out now and tell him where to shove it. Seriously, that kid has no class whatsoever. She can do better.

Senurset-Thanks!!!! It's nice to know a guy had that same reaction! You deserve an awesome girl in your life (if and when you want one!)

PM Mama- I think creep or maybe incredibly socially immature or even if it is a joksters.....I really don't know don't really care...why would you joke about rape? (But I know what you are saying....like if she really really knew the guy ....but even then.....)

VAGirl....yes my daughter too knows of too many ones! Always trust your instincts! She herself had a horrible incident which I hope never happens again! And yes there's a difference in joking and and being inappropriate!

Buttonz-Nicely put!

Poeticace-Sad but true! (But I guess I know of girls that lie to ruin someone so maybe I understand a little of that)

AEPhiAlum-She's doing that!

THANKS to you guys! The guy tried to make her feel like she was over-reacting and stupid! And she had put him in a terrible position (As if the $400 dress we bought for his formal wasn't putting us out!?!) What she did was told him she could not attend as he made her feel uncomfortable. She chose not to talk to his frat or any of his brothers. She plans to let it be except completely cut him out of her life. She hates drama and I'm glad she is not one to blow things out of proportion. Which would be easy to do in this case. But thank you for your comments.....always nice to hear nice, educated and classy people!!!!

Centaur!-Thanks! You're exactly right! I'm grateful she does have confidence and class and will NEVER settle!

LOL...no, Senurset deserves a nice BOY!

And yes, he's completely correct.

No, no, no..... I deserve a nice MAN. About 6'3" or better preferred. LOL

sorry.....my mistake....MAN!!!!:o
6'5"......ripped.......educated.....rich!.....anyt hing else?!? :)

The chapter in "I Am Charlotte Simmons" about the Saint Ray formal is coming back to me now...

Reminds me of my first experience with going on dates.

BAD IDEA. It's NOT worth it simply to say that you went to a formal.

Way too much like what happened to me.

"flashbacks happen"

Scandia....I'm sorry. I hate hearing of far too many experiences girls have gone through. I'm so afraid my generation has raised a generation of males that think they can force or take whatever they want. And a generation of females (i.e., Duke Lacrosse Team) that love drama and lie and make it near to impossible for those that are genuinely harmed or assaulted to have sympathy or justice.

Why don't you just tell us the whole story instead of hinting at it all the time?

I would advise her to cancel.

This is coming from a mom of a college-age daughter.

It sounds like he is insecure and has poor social skills. Its not uncommon. Is he a little unfortunate looking also?

Is your daughter a freshman or sophomore? Someone probably suggested he ask her, some sorority girls collect formals. I have definitely seen guys get dates the day of the formal.

Maybe he had a crush or developed a crush.

She should definitely cancel if she gets uncomfortable . . . unless a lot of her sisters are going, in which case she could ditch her date and just hang out with them. That happens too . . . on both sides of the gender fence.

I doubt his intentions are truly malevolent. If they were he wouldn't be broadcasting them.

I would ditch a guy like that. He sounds like a potential psycho.

James, I think you're spot-on. While if it were my daughter, I'd be extremely concerned, these guy's actions and comments do not really raise too many flags which tell me he's an actual danger... more that the guy is a little bit desperate for some attention from someone of the opposite gender and has generally poor social skills (hence, the "roofie" jokes with a girl he wants to take to formal.

While trying to be funny, he's being scary. Being socially awkward is a fact of life for a lot of 18-20 year old men.

TXMom I would just go by your 1st instinct. It's usually always right.

alum- yes she did cancel! I'm glad she did!

James....my daughter is a sophomore, after this semester a Junior. And yes he had a crush, he wanted a relationship, seemed to REALLY like her, wanted her to meet parents etc. (she didn't want a relationship) And I think it could have been different if she had sisters going but she didn't. And yes I agree I think he was being inappropriate and didn't realize it but when you're talking about a young girl that had a past situation that was painful.....even inappropriate scares the sh*# out of you!

cheerfulgreek....yep I agree! Done deal!

Kevin...I think you're probably the closest as anyone to the real situation. What I think is extremely sad is that maybe he was trying to be funny and "cool" and pushed away an awesome girl that just likes to get to know all types of guys (whether jocks, preps, greeks, nerds or any) But the "roofie" put her over the edge!!!

The list
 

This is what I did and it worked! I told a similar slimey kind of guy that he was on "the list"...just wanted in my pantaloons, and for that reason, I wouldn't go out with him. The upper class men passed "the list" down to me, and he was on it ... period. I told him that with all seriousness. For years guys believed there was a list and every once in a while one would ask me if they were on it. ...There was never a list...It just came to me when I needed to get the upper hand. What a creep...Your daughter would have been miserable... A few good protective guy friends to look out for her would be nice not that she can't handle it herself.

Thanks ZETA....lol! Good thinking girl! I like that! Yes, she has several guy friends and a brother.....!!!!