Coming out Greek
 

Ok, I'm talking about letting ppl know you're Greek (not gay or Greek and gay). I've only told a few ppl I've become Greek and I know my mom and friends back home are totally unsupportive of the Greek system.
Does anybody have stories about how they told parents or unsupportive friends they went Greek? What's the best way to do I do it?:confused:

My parents were never anti-Greek, but weren't exactly thoroughly supportive of the idea at first either. I let them read through our pledge manual (it's a public book anyway) to satisfy themselves of what the organization was about and that seemed to work. Later as I held various offices and attended various leadership schools, they began to see the additional value besides just the social aspect.

When I was an undergrad, my family never paid much attention to it, except when I was overloading on activities and commitments and I wasn't feeling well (I have Cystic Fibrosis).

Ten+ years later, being active in my alum chapter (I moved back to my home state last summer), my older sister and mom think that the work I do and connections I have are great. They thought it was cool that I was in our quarterly newsletter.

Gamma Sig is an important part of my life, but it never defined me. So it was never an issue to my family. In fact, outside of my mom and blood sisters, it doesn't register on anyone's radar, and I wear para every so often.

This makes me think of when I told my dad I was joining a sorority. The coversation went something like this:
"So, are you going to live there?"
"Where, Dad?"
"At the sorority."
"Dad, a sorority isn't a place!"

I don't even remember how I first told my parents, I'm guessing my dad was there when I signed up since he flew to St Louis to move me in. But then, my parents have always been teh type to just let me do whatever.

And considering I have pictures of myself in letters at various conventions, my affiliation is definitely not a secret and definitely not something I need to "tell" people. That and my favorite football team are pretty obvious. :D

My older sister [biological] is Greek as well at a different school, so my parents weren't at all upset about it. Then again, they let us make our own choices for the most part. One thing that we do that helps parents understand the system more, though, is Man's Weekend in the fall and Women's Weekend in the winter. You invite one or two people to it [men to man's weekend, women to Women's] and we do activities or volunteer or something and then we do a ritual that they participate in, so that they can see what it's REALLY about. THe ritual is made specially to explain the sorority to them. It works really well.

I only know one person who struggled to "come out" as a member of a GLO. This person's parents were opposed to Greekdom for religious reasons.

Other than that, the people I know don't require a "coming out" other than the coming out ceremonies that many organizations hold. ;)

That is sooo cute!

My mom wasn't too excited about it but she supports everything that I want to put my heart into..She supported and was there for me thru my process and when my parents came to my probate they realized how proud I was for making it thru so they were proud too. They know my sisters care a lot about me so they understand more.

my parents are opposed to certain GLO's because they feel they are cookie cutter and "clique-ish". When i decided i wanted to pledge anyway, i looked for one that wasnt necessarily well-known, so the intentions on my end were 100% pure. im not passing judgement on anyone who does select a more well known organization, but now that i have crossed my parents know, and they were glad i chose the GLO that i did...

What do you mean, "come out"? Is it important to you that everyone know you're in a GLO? I mean, it may be a big deal for you, but if they don't like those organizations, what's the big deal? Do what you do.. have your car decals, your letters, if someone asks you a question, you answer it.. but really.. are you wanting to sit on the phone all night going through your high school telephone directory letting everyone know that you pledged a sorority?

They should probably be able to figure it out by looking at your myspace page.

I guess what the OP really meant is that sometimes you may want to share stories about what happen with your life (school, greek etc) with your other friends and family who are not greek, and to reference, you may need to tell them you are affiliated with a certain GLO. Not necessary in a oh-I-need-to-tell-everyone-I-am-Greek way. And most of the times, as the OP says, those non greek family and friends will give you a weird stare.

She said pretty clearly what she meant:

As for parents and family -- just tell them, and be ready to tell them why and what it means to you. You might follow SAEalumnus's idea of having a new member handbook or something else for them to look at to get a better idea of what it's all about.

As for friends/everyone else -- don't worry about it. If it comes up, it comes up; if it doesn't, it doesn't.

My mom got a little jealous. I would come home every weekend and spend time with her, but after I was initiated I had to do some stuff on the weekends, so she missed my company. But I think she's getting better about it, because I've been able to show her that I can do all of my work and have a life with and without the sorority. It takes time though ;)

You must be talking about my mother! She was really opposed to the whole idea. She went to a Bible college that had no greek life. She said that her school justified no greek system with "We do not want any organization that separates man." I can't really see how that is the case when most orgs pride themselves on unity.

The good part is she is "slowly" changing her way of thinking. :rolleyes:

Coming out?

1st, there is nothing wrong about being Greek!

2nd, you are not the first who has gone along or run into this problem.

I am sure many on site have as I have:D

Parents are funny and so are others who have never been in a Greek Organization.:)

Maybe the unlearned do not know!:(

i think that being greek is something to be proud of-- an accomplishment, a commitment, and a lifestyle that at its best is not only beneficial to those that are Greek but also to those surrounding them. And I'm sure that most everyone who is Greek feels the same way, or else they wouldn't have joined their org.

I would just try to stress the positive aspect of Greek life-- the service, philanthropy, sisterhood/brotherhood, networking, and positive life experiences. Typically people who are anti-Greek have only been exposed to the negative/stereotypical idea of Greek life, and perhaps trying to educate them will help. Otherwise, I would just let them feel the way they feel and still be proud of it, because obviously if they care about you then hopefully it won't affect your relationship with them either way.

As far as my parents knowing I was greek, it wasnt a big deal because they dont really understand. In fact, I was really proud of my accomplishment, but they really werent because they didnt know what I had done. My dad called me a couple of weeks later and was like "Is everyone in the fraternity an alcoholic" to which I said no and he said alright ill talk to ya later. He called me one more time because he had been talking to one of his company partners who had a bad greek experience and he was making sure i wasnt a "frat boy". It was much harder to tell my non-greek friends, they just dont understand either.

My parents are both greek so they were really supportive of my decision to pledge a sorority. They were both really happy for me when I came back home for the summer, greek.:)

So on point here!

These comments are a little rude guys, I was talking about my parents and my 2 best friends back home, not my whole high school. I just wanted to hear other ppl's experiences and maybe get a bit of an idea as to how some ppl have reacted. It's completly normal for me to want to share events in my life with the ppl closest to me and if you don't have a helpful comment, you don't need to respond:)

Its weird, my mom's side is all greek and only a few people are on my dad's side. My mom is greek and my dad hung out and did all the stuff with my mom's sorority (Sorority boy!) and there are definately somethings that are just funny. Mom gets everything and understands, my dad is clueless. His first comment was "Your grades better be good, that what I am sending you for!"

Actually, I think that it helps my grades since the sorority community at my school is very academic ( the lowest sorority has a 3.4/4 avg.!) which is higher than the school average by quite a bit. I think there is this little motivation to do a little better because you represent not just you and the org.s are full of many of the most prominant figures on campus at my school. There is really no such thing as a "stereotypical" sorority on my campus, but I have been to other schools that fit that bill. You may want to go into all the palpable benefits to your parents. Tell them about how it builds moral character, networking, leadership skills, social abilities, and lifelong friendships.

The whole drinking thing is a lil wierd, but you can paint that is a good light too. If you do that sort of thing, you are doing it with people you trust and trust in you. If they were your brothers/sisters, they would not let you go overboard and would always be looking out for your best interests. It is still better than drinking alone, right? There are a lot of benefits to being greek that you can find articles online, just look it up!

People have different interepretations of what it means to "come out" as a Greek and who you're "coming out" to. Simple as that.

Or you don't need to read.

You have a point, but I don't get people's responses when she says she's talking about her parents and her friends at home. You know the people you talk to about school stuff. I don't think she really means like sitting down with her friends and having a heart to heart talk, but it's going to come up and they might be jerks about it.

I understand what the OP is saying. However, people have different ideas of what being Greek is about and different types of interactions with family and friends. Some people (like a friend of mine) don't tell their family or friends much of anything. Like a friend of mine who pledged almost 10 years ago and never told her deeply religious family and friends from back home.

So the comments are what they are.

My parents didn't/don't really understand all about it so like Pike_Cardinal said, they weren't upset, but they weren't super excited about it because they had no idea what I was doing. My mom is more interested in it because she's met some of my sorority sisters and she knows that they're great friends and awesome people all around. My biological sisters don't understand at all--my older sister will ask how it is, but that's about it. I want my younger sister to rush, but ultimately it's her own choice.

I got a lot of backlash from my high school friends; most of my college friends kind of already figured I was going to rush/pledge (even before I knew I wanted to!!). The week I put it in my AIM profile/Facebook, I received a lot of messages and IMs from people saying "I can't believe you did this, you're a bad person" -- I don't really talk to these people anymore because they clearly didn't support me.

My high school friends that I still hang out with have come to accept it and I still see them all the time even though I have 90+ sisters that they don't know :)

When I rushed I got the "why are you doing that you should concentrate on school" from my Dad. My Mom was cool with it she didn't have any problems or concerns. My Grandparents were a little concerned as well. I guess everyone was concerened about the partying, drinking, etc.... My Grandfather went as far as to say "you are already Greek (by blood) why join a fake Greek group."

All of the critisism stopped when they realized there was a philanthropical side to being Greek. My Dad actually hired some of my Bros and they were the best employees he has ever had. He still calls asking for phone numbers of guys looking for jobs.

My Grandparents became cool with it when they meet my wife (girlfriend at the time) who was an Aphi.

To add to my Dad's approval, he coaches a traveling men's baseball team and 50% of his players are from the Fraternity. He also plays in the chapter's golf tourney every year.

My family was so supportive come time for my sister to go to school (my Senior year) they wanted to make sure she rushed. She is now an Aphi. The only thing that concerns them about her is the Spring Breaks in Mexico..

You just have to get everyone over the initial shock and stand your ground. You joined a worldclass organization and they will see that in a short amount of time.

Neither of my parents went to college - I was the first. My dad never had an opinion about it, but I don't think he understood it. My mom was completely against it because she saw her friend's 2 daughters have really negative experiences. But I told them before I rushed that I wanted to do it. My dad, like I said, never had an opinon. My mom opposed it, but figured I'd do it anyway. Once I brought my mom to campus to meet my new sisters, she got it! And dad got it when he met my husband (obviuosly boyfriend back then!). He said "thank god you joined that group with the funny letters - so you could go to a party for another group with funny letters to meet him!"

To respond to my brother Kevin here....

It can be a challenge to those living in less traditional areas....like the San Francisco area for instance.

My parents were none too thrilled about the whole thing....to this day they're ambivelent but it's possible they aren't totally against it since they saw how much chapter supported me through some problems I had.

My old high school buddies, who are the real liberal types, told me I had "bought" friends blah blah blah...the usual nonsense true GDIs believe in.

So it can be a pain in the ass when you have people around you who either buy the stereotypes or are just outright hostile towards GLOs

I got this from some of my friends as well yet I meet most of them playing football or baseball. Weird last time I checked I paid to play football and baseball. I brought this to their attention and they haven't brought it up since.