AOII and members from other schools
 

* Moved to AOII Forum

Oh no, I totally know that and have kept them secret. I really just want her to be initiated so she really is one of my sisters, but don't know if that is possible as she doesn't go to a school with an AOII chapter. I had heard AKA initiated women after graduation and from other schools, I don't know if it's true, but was hoping that other sororities did the samee.

I would check with AOII headquarters about alumnae initiation.

Hi! Nice to see another AOII sister on GC. Make sure you swing over to our forum and introduce yourself!

AOII has done alumna initiation virtually since our Founding in 1897. Feel free to discuss this with your chapter adviser for more information.

The only people entitled to know any sorority or fraternity secrets are those who are initiated members of said organization. Non-initiated husbands, wives, friends, family members, etc. should never be given ritual information. Yes, I know that guys won't be in sororities and girls won't be in (male) fraternities, but if you're not an initiated member it's not your business!

Our chapter initiated two adult women when I was in college (a million years ago) - but they both had strong ties with the chapter and were involved with them - one via a real sister and the other through one of the members - but they were REALLY involved and we all knew them really well.

Just to let you know - graduate membership and initiation in NPHC groups (like AKA) is VERY different from AI in NPC groups (like AOII).

I just want to say that it's refreshing to see someone posting about how they, a sister, know someone they would love to share their sisterhood with, rather than the other way around. All too often there is a lot of unsolicited seeking on this board, so this is nice. Wander over to the AOII forum and chat with your sisters there :)

Is this something that is an Alpha Omicron Pi thing? I know my man would love to hear my Delta Gamma secrets, but I vowed never to share them with anyone!

No it's not an AOII thing, AOII Alum said it above that you don't share with anyone.

I was told that if a guy lavallieres you, you can know his frat secrets and vice versa. This was just from another member of my pledge class, so clearly not the best source. But thanks for all the input, I'll take it over to the AOII thread!

i was lavaliered, and my boyfriend did not share any of his fraternity's secrets with me, nor did i expect him to. my husband is a member of a fraternity and neither of us has ever shared any greek secrets with the other. you need to straighten your friend out.

Or just follow your new member education program, since I'm guessing this is covered. Or MAYBE even the oath that was taken during initiation.

My ex-husband was president of a colony of Sigma Chi when they got their charter. We were married at the time, and all the ritual stuff was to be stored at our house. Some of the brothers were concerned I would try to learn their secrets - I told them not to worry. I had my own ritual, and had no interest in trying to learn another GLOs. It wouldn't mean anything to me, at least not like it did to them, so why bother?
And I would never reveal any ritual or secrets to a non-Gamma Phi simply because I said I wouldn't. My word is my bond!

Is he really that interested? My husband could care less.

Like I said, I'm a new member so don't completely get all this stuff. But I thought a guy you lavaliered/your sweetheart was involved somehow with your secrets/rituals?

NO.

Lavaliering or sweetheart status has absolutely NOTHING to do with the sharing of Ritual.

What she said. Lavaliering just means that you really like the girl and that you're putting her in front of her letters. The guys might have a ceremony for that, but it isn't ritual.

Sweethearts just means that the chapter likes you (and often that you're dating someone in the chapter) and again, they may have a ceremony, you may get to wear the other chapter's letters in some form, but you are not a member nor privy to any information that is restricted to members.

I'm honestly really surprised that the New Member Coordinator has not mentioned that ritual should not be shared with anyone... regardless of who you are married to, or who gives you a necklace with their letters on it.

I believe you may have meant to say before, *his* letters. Regardless either is not true. It may be something women like to think, but it belongs in the Greek Life Myths Department.

Lavaliering, giving letters, pinning etc. is a serious sign of affection. But it in no ways signifies putting the girl before his fraternity. To be clear, to some it may. Some fraternities have specific guidelines about lavaliering or "giving of letters" as it were. In no way does the fraternity say, "Oh yeah, even though we sanction it, when you do this you are putting the girl before us." Not true.

The historical concept is that most college men did not have the money to purchase rings or jewelry. Many do not now. So they gave from what they had. A "token" of something to come - i.e. the engagement ring. Since they wanted the token to have some significance, and often the only jewelry they owned, they would pin (give their badge) to their girlfriend. Again, often with the understanding that an engagement ring was to follow.

Over the years, other types of jewelry has been developed. Many fraternities have "sweetheart" pins for their girlfriends and even their mothers.

So again, there is no fact based truth that when a guy gives his letters (in any form) that he is putting the girl before his fraternity. But to be clear, it does (should) mean that he is serious about the relationship.

And as everyone else has said, lavaliering has nothing to do with the sharing of Ritual. To be clear - nothing.

Time for more studying of your group's information for you.

Actually I meant to type "your" but same difference.

I have seen guys get harassed when they lavalier their girlfriend particularly when their chapter has a ceremony for it. That's only continued the idea that it's a big deal to give a woman your letters.

I see it as a continuation of "getting pinned" (a la Bye Bye Birdie) and a sign you're going steady. But as my boyfriend is not in a fraternity I have no first hand experience, only watching what happened on campus.

To be clear, it is - and should be - a big deal to give your letters.

I think every guy I knew that pinned a girl got harassed - allegedly - by his chapter. At Kentucky, after a pinning (and even sometimes when an engagement was announced), the guy would be "treed" (The verb being "treeing".) The brother - who we shall call Hugo - would be tied to a tree after which his chapter brothers would pour various food stuff over him. Usually stuff like honey, flour and even corn flakes. His now pinned girl - who we shall call Kim - would come to the tree and give him a kiss - "A real kiss! Like you mean it!" - before the brothers would untie him. If she was in a sorority, often her sisters - gathered by best friend Ursula - would be there too. Once Hugo was untied, the chapter would most likely serenade Kim. All in all, it was good collegiate fun.

As such, the point I wanted to make is that while it is a big deal, there isn't anything "official" that says if Hugo pins Kim, he is putting her before his fraternity.

Not surprising, a whole lot of agreement to both points here.

NCGirl, if you have any questions at all about this PLEASE ask your New Member Educator or your Big Sister/sponsor. Also feel free to PM me, I'm not an authority in any way but I do want to be sure your questions are answered correctly. :)