Wedding planning
 

I am newly engaged. I have seen the threads on wedding dresses and engagement rings. I am stuck as to where to start with my wedding planning. My thoughts are so scattered and overwhelming that the thought is pretty daunting.

We have yet to set a date, since there seems to be many things to take into account...such as:

• my best friend is my maid of honor, and I am in her wedding on June 28, 2008. So how far apart do you plan your weddings so you don't go nutso with both weddings?
• getting married during September or October here in Virginia Beach means that an univited hurricane may be coming
• getting married in late July or August is going to be HOT!!!

So, any advice would be extremely helpful!! Thanks!

Just elope and get it over with.

/What? You knew someone was going to say it.:p ;)

That thought has crossed my mind on a few occassions.

First thing you'll probably want to decide is your budget, who's paying for what, and how many people you'll want to invite (whether it's 50 or 450!!)

The two most crucial things to consider are the coordination of dates that are available at the church and any potential reception venues. That ultimately will determine what date you and your future "honey" will choose. If you're not getting married in a church then you'll have it a little easier time.

Take your Mother and/or FMIL or one of your close G/Fs and check out a reception venues. Most will want you to call ahead and make an appt to view the facility.

After I booked the date at my church and my reception everything else pretty much fell into place. I highly recommend signing up on TheKnot.com. You can track your guestlist there and they'll give month-to-month to do list so you can keep track of things!!!

Hope that helps. Congratulations!!!

Congratulations on the engagement. Honestly, I'd advise not getting help on Greekchat or message boards. Talk to friends, your fiancee, and just figure out what works best for you.

For what its worth I was married on the hottest days of the year in Boston, and it all worked out ok (although my groomsmen hit the open bar with some gusto when we were done; they probably would have done that anyway, though).

Word to this. Do not ask for advice here. Also do not ask for advice on theknot.com. From what I've heard, bridezillas abound.

I did not say that she should get "advice" on TheKnot.com. I was advising that she use their wedding tracker as a means of keeping track of her wedding planning. This information is not shared with other members of TheKnot.com and is password protected so that the bride or groom or wedding planner can have access... not just any random Bridezilla. Just for clarification.

Why can't I ask the many GC members who are recently engaged, recently married, etc for advice? I don't have to take all of it. But it is nice to know what others have learned during wedding planning.

Thanks Rita. I am on theknot.com, but am always looking for advice where I can get it.

For clarification, I didn't read your post and had no idea you told her to go there. So unknot your panties please.

I think you *can* get some very good ideas and/or feedback from wedding-related message boards (and, to some extent, GC, but don't expect much). I got a lot of good advice/ideas from the message boards at weddingchannel.com and for the most part, everyone was very respectful. When weddingchannel.com changed their board format, about 75% of the posters moved to www.constantchatter.com and there is still a fairly large wedding section over there. Although, as a whole, CC is not as wedding-centered as WC was.

But in the end, it's your wedding and you have to make the decisions that are best for you and your fiance.

I guess I shouldn't assume that people read the prior postings before making a comment themselves... panties not in a knot... Check!

I hear your pain! I've got to do most of the major planning before I leave for Scotland in September. We've set a november 08 wedding date as well b/c of my master's program.

My best advice is to BUY A PLANNING BOOK. My brother's fiance gave me a planner from Target that is 3 ring, is already separated into things like "Guest List", "vendors" "calendar" "seating chart", etc. I'm trying to use that to plan the big stuff out of the way before I leave.

You've mentioned the bad months, but what about an April wedding, or a November wedding? My SO and I first had our hearts set on a summer wedding, but we began to realize that we'd have more to choose from if we did a wedding "out of season". There's just not as many girls getting married in November in Pittsburgh, so we've got our pick of venues, photographers, etc. Bonus: Things are also significantly less expensive b/c we're doing it out of season.

Good luck, I'm beginning to realize more and more how stressful it is! I keep thinking that it's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage :)

Goodie. It is a life saver for me!!! But beware of posting specific info on any of the public forums. Some devious brides or wanna-be-brides have started trouble by contacting another bride's vendor(s) and cancelling contracts, making unauthorized changes, etc... not meant to scare you away... but anything you save under your "MyKnot" section cannot be viewed by the public so it's safe there. But as an additional precautionary measure I established a secret password with all my vendors for any business I do by phone (so they know it's really me calling)... that way evil ex-girlfriends or troblesome hateful FMILs can't spoil your Big Day!!!
Again many congratulations to you and your fiance!!! This is such and exciting time. Make the most of it. You can still get everything you want at an affordable price, so shop around. Most vendors are willing to make a deal with you. And nice goes a long way. Most of my vendors have given me extras and freebies because I was always pleasant and not acting like a maniac whenever I had to contact them. (Apparently unlike many of their other clients!) :eek:

Happy Planning!!!

PM me if you want to view me and my Honey's TheKnot Wedding Webpage!!!!

I am a lazy mofo and I like to scan a lot of posts in threads. Unless it's a giant dramabomb. That's the only time I read meticulously.

Serving me can save money but many people consider it very tacky. Some prefer that fondant-covered hussy, TIER CAKE.

Are people honestly that bored with their lives??

Thanks for all the advice so far. Keep it coming. I am sure that I am not the GC'er who is wondering about this.

:eek:

Oh wow ... I have never heard of this ... that really freaks me out ...

To the OP --- I wish I had some better advice, but I am still trying to figure this thing out myself! I have an "idea scrapbook" of things that I like, articles from bridal mags that are helpful, that sort of thing - it's been really good to explain to vendors what I'm talking about. We set the date before anything else so we would have something to tell vendors, then secured our location, then did dresses, then the photographer, and now we're working on invitations --- anyone have any advice on those??

First of all, Congratulations!

Now, to answer your questions. I was married in December of 05 so it wasn't that long ago. I hope to answer your questions as best as I can.

• You can pretty much plan them as close or as far apart as you feel comfortable doing. It really depends on how hectic you think hers is going to be and how much stress do you really want to be in if your wedding is only a few days or weeks after hers. My .02 is to give yourself some recovery time from her wedding to your own so that you can focus on your life and not have to constantly be planning a wedding and being a maid of honor for her at the same time.
  
  
  Quote:

  Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle (Post 1426554) getting married during September or October here in Virginia Beach means that an uninvited hurricane may be coming.

  You take the good with the bad. If you're that worried about it, then don't do it in a month where you'll have to look at the weather bulletins on a daily basis. Still, if you have your heart set on a fall wedding, go for it. Just have a contingency plan prepared as a "just in case".
  
  
  Quote:

  Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle (Post 1426554) getting married in late July or August is going to be HOT!!!

If you want to get married in these months, have an indoor wedding at a location with great air conditioning. Or have an outdoor evening wedding if it gets cooler there at night. I've never been to Virginia Beach so I'm not really sure of the weather there.



Other advice is to know ahead of time what you want, your budget, and what fits your style the best. Stick with your vision of what you want your wedding to be and NOT what others thing your vision should be. Finally, ask your groom for his help. He may not want to help it but it never hurts to ask and you may be surprised. He may be willing to help you out a lot...or he could just tell you to let him know when & where.

Hope this helps!

~B

What is a Bridezilla?

A terrible, screaming, control freak bride.

Congratulations on your nuptials. Can you get married in Spring: April, May or June 2008? Or is that too soon? Or is everything booked already? The weather might be cooler.

My sister for a time. Also what carnation said.

PS Since you are a Zeta, I found your cake topper:
http://images.theknot.com/blimages/P1128_wl.jpg

This is a great site to read about bridezillas from hell.
Etiquette Hell

I read these and told my bridesmaids "if I ever start acting like these hos, feel free to slap me!"

Congrats hon!

First, relax. Make sure you have the wedding YOU want, not the wedding the parents want.

Unless they say that they are paying for something and SHOW YOU DA MONEY, assume you are paying for it yourself

The wedding is just for one day...it is just the start of things

if something goes wrong, take a deep breath and calm down

Learn to delegate! Do not try to be superwoman and do everything alone.

Congrats on your engagement!!! :)

My best advice is once you set a date and decide if you want a big or small wedding your next call should be to a wedding planner! He/she will help you keep your sanity and help you deal with all the nit-picky details that will come up. In the end you are the one calling the shots but they deal with the fine details. Good luck!! :)

You would be surprised!!! :eek:

I have a scrapbook as well... well more of a binder separated into sections.. bakery, flowers, attire, etc.. when ever I finish a task or make deposits on something, etc. I put the reciepts in my binder. It makes things easier to find when you have everything all in one place!!!

And congrats to you sistergreek on your upcoming nuptials!!!

WHOA. So you mean another bride will call a vendor pretending to be you and make changes to YOUR wedding?

I can just hear that phone call, "Hi Happy Wedding Cake Company? This is Becky. Yes, Becky Jackson. I was just calling to ask if we could change my cake flavor from regular lemon to stewed prune please? Thanks so much, bye!"

*hangs up, makes evil laugh, and rubs hands together*

I can't believe people could be THAT stalkerish. Good thing vendors usually call you and double check any changes before they get started on them.

Seriously, my only advice for anyone who is getting married is to just BE NICE. The lady I babysit for is a wedding planner and I've met some of the brides she's worked with. There were a few nice ones, and those were the ones that she went the extra mile for and really went out of her way to get them good deals. The rest of them were real Bridezillas.

I remember one lady who came in one day to see a preview of her centerpieces. The candle holders were not to her specifications. So what did she do? She whacks them and they fly across the table. I just happened to be sitting in the next room and I heard this loud CRASH. This lady was seriously NEAR TEARS over candleholders. I mean, seriously? It was crazy.

And for goodness sakes, be nice to your bridesmaids. I've been in weddings for girls whom I LOVE to death but wanted to STRANGLE for the entire weekend of the wedding because they were just complete bridezillas.

Book the church and the reception facilities (for ease, go with a reception location that does food too)...

The book a photographer.

Then buy a dress.

Then order bridesmaid dresses (they can take up to 5 months to come in!!)

Then order invitations

Obsess about details (bubbles vs. rice? out of town boxes? programs? music selections? etc.)

I'm pretty active on TheKnot and as long as you stay in certain places, the site is very helpful. I'd be glad to tell you how to see my stuff there...just send me a PM here and I'll tell you my knot user name and you can see my bio. stuff.

The best place to get ideas is to go to the knot's message boards and look through bios. Also check out www.specialtybios.com -- there are great ideas there.

Hope that helps! I'm at the 2 month mark and have sooo much stuff done! :D

I haven't gone MIA. I appreciate all the congratulations.

I have seen that cake topper, and it is cute. But as much as my fiance is not involved in wedding planning, he may put his foot down on that one.

I went out and bought photo pages to start cutting out my ideas and get them organized in a binder. That and a wedding planner are two things I knew I was going to need.

As for when to have the wedding...I was talking to someone in physical therapy, and she suggested the middle of September. I thought it was a good idea, but my concern was that it was rather close to Labor Day. Would people want to travel to the wedding? I plan on sending Save the Date cards, so people can have "notice" of the date.

My mom is not big on the wedding planner idea. While I don't have the $$$ to spend on a wedding, nor do I want to spend a life's fortune on the wedding, she is concerned that I am going to be wanting one of those weddings you see on "whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the Style network. (Great show!) I am just concerned that I will feel overwhelmed and get stressed out.

The budget has yet to be discussed. There are some things that have taken priority in my family's mind. I am waiting patiently and not trying to be a pain in the arse. I think I may push for some kind of talk in the next couple of weeks.

I have to send PMs to those of you on here. I would love to see what you are talking about!

Once again.....
THANK YOU!!!

Wow, could our situation being any simular? And I am not some nutso bridezilla :p I just recently got engaged and one of my best friends is getting married in June (actually June 14). I am going through the same thing of picking a date because I live in Richmond. I don't want to put it to close to her date, but then August can be very hot and humid, but then September - October you have to worry about nasty storm possibilities.

I think we are going to go for a late September - Early October date indoors though. The place has a nice outdoor area though.

As for what to do next, I am in the same boat, but I did good a book to help me plan.

I used an accordian-style divided file folder instead of a binder. I found it much easier to carry around (and for a while, I had it with me at all times).

We got married the weekend after Labor Day (almost four years ago, now) and had no comments from anybody about traveling two weekends in a row. If people want to be there, they'll come no matter when it is.

You don't have to spend $$$ to have a nice wedding. If there are things you can do yourself, (make favors, print invitations/programs, etc...) do them! I designed and printed my own invitations, programs, save the dates, and favors. My mother (who is a wonderful seamstress) made all the bridesmaids dresses. We had a BBQ for the rehearsal dinner instead of a catered restaurant meal.

The advantage of having a post Labor Day wedding is that the hotels will be a lot cheaper. You might want to start considering in what part of town you want the wedding and reception. Chesapeake, Norfolk, Sandbridge, Pungo, or at the Beach? If you have the reception at one of the Beach hotels they'll probably give you an even better rate on rooms.

Great advice! I have been married almost 2 years now and sometimes people think that because they have known you for a lifetime, they need to put their 2cents worth in your wedding. If you have YOUR idea of YOUR fairytale wedding, discuss that with your future husband and see if that is within your budget.

In regards to choosing a date, the best place to start is wherever you are thinking of getting married. Depending on your church/place of worship they may have a 6 month-1 year waiting period for counseling or whatever.

I guess with any source of information be it GC or the knot you have to use your best judgment. I was a knottie and found some good information that I was able to use (such as do it yourself stuff) and a lot of useless information.

Congratulations! I'm planning my own wedding. It's now only 43 days away!

I haven't used a wedding planner and haven't really felt stressed out. This is even planning with my mother, and planning with her is an... adventure. I was also planning with only an 8 1/2 month time frame. What I did was concentrate on one thing at a time and get that all finished before I moved to the next thing. When we first got engaged, the first thing we did was pick a tentative range of dates. Then we picked a venue, and then I went dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping. Then I got a photographer.

I will contradict practically every one else on this thread and say that the Knot forums have seriously been one of the biggest helps I could have. Not really the national boards, but the local boards for my area. I have wonderful (and inexpensive) vendors, and every single one of them was reccommended on my local board. Just do make sure you follow the advice about not sharing personal info- there are some psychos on that board.

OK ... I am still at square one in this whole planning process. At least we have some time.

Our problem is space - my fiance wants it inside so that we do not have to worry about the weather (I agreed at first), but then now I keep looking for venues in the area that would have space for 200 people seated and they are way out of my price range (bc of them not allowing outside caterers or alcohol).

You may say ok cut the amount of people - can't we are talking family here and trust me I already have (I have a very large family). So I was thinking of a compromise of indoors/outdoors.

Outdoors for the food, then move indoors for cake/dancing/etc. Has anyone done this before ... should I just do the whole thing outdoors at this point then?

Ok I am bumping this because I know that GC will hopefully give me some better advice than what I'm finding on theknot.com.

Here's the deal, my fiance and I have picked a location and just did a walkthrough last night. We love the place. It works well for all of our guests and it's a great price. Oh and they had two dates for the month we want. Plus we get the whole lower level of the place for the whole day. The hospitality/wedding coordinator lady has been great to work with so far. She answered all of our questions and concerns last night and was very upfront with details and how the events will go plus her involvement.

The only nagging thing in the back of my mind is that these other brides on theknot are totally bashing this lady and the hotels she coordinates for (it's a group of 3). They say she is hard to reach, sent contracts late and had moved weddings to different rooms to accomodate other events.

I don't know if I'm just lucky so far, if they were just bridezillas, or what. Or am I just crazy and should just worry about my situation only?

GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.

Worry about your situation and dont let them get to you.

but get everything in writing...