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Confuzzled23 03-28-2007 09:38 PM

question about de-brothering
 
i pledged a fraternity last spring '06 and ended up moving out east that summer. Where i live now there are no chapters near me, the closest is 3 hours away. I am trying this semester to start my own chapter in my new school but I just do not have the time with school and work. I have no real idea if i ever am going to be moving back to my original hometown to be with my frat again and so I am a little confused right now. Should i de-brother and join a new fraternity?

I do feel like an ass for just "ditching" my brothers like this, but I have tried creating my own chapter but i just don't have the time for it. I have no idea what to do or if i can even pledge a new fraternity? I know some fraternities don't accept men who have de-brothered from another fraternity.. so Im just lost at all ends here any help would be appreciated.

The new fraternity i was thinking about joining is the Latino fraternity Lambda Sigma Upsilon, any1 know if they accept people who have de-brothered from other fraternities? Also what does the de-brother process involve? Do i have to go back home to de-brother at my school?

TSteven 03-28-2007 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled23 (Post 1419917)
i pledged a fraternity last spring '06 and ended up moving out east that summer. Where i live now there are no chapters near me, the closest is 3 hours away. I am trying this semester to start my own chapter in my new school but I just do not have the time with school and work. I have no real idea if i ever am going to be moving back to my original hometown to be with my frat again and so I am a little confused right now. Should i de-brother and join a new fraternity?

I do feel like an ass for just "ditching" my brothers like this, but I have tried creating my own chapter but i just don't have the time for it. I have no idea what to do or if i can even pledge a new fraternity? I know some fraternities don't accept men who have de-brothered from another fraternity.. so Im just lost at all ends here any help would be appreciated.

The new fraternity i was thinking about joining is the Latino fraternity Lambda Sigma Upsilon, any1 know if they accept people who have de-brothered from other fraternities? Also what does the de-brother process involve? Do i have to go back home to de-brother at my school?

My understanding is that IFC/NIC fraternities do not initiate members from other inter/national council or conference (including other NIC/IFC) fraternities unless the man terminated - and was granted a release from IHQ - his membership. And to be clear, this does not mean that an IFC/NIC fraternity (or chapter) may even consider previously initiated men for membership. Some may, others may not.

Now if the fraternity was "local", then perhaps the fraternity might. Again, it would depend on the specific fraternities in question.

For what it is worth, Lambda Sigma Upsilon is a member of the NIC.

be69chevy 03-29-2007 09:23 AM

question about de-brothering
 
I have seen questions like this asked a lot on this board and I just dont quiet understand.

Do IFC/NIC cross reference membership lists by social sercurity #s when new guys pledge?

I highly doubt it.

I guess its all comes down to personal ethics.

Unless you are tattooed with your old fraternities letters or have been wearing your old fraternity shirts at your new school and really actively trying to start another chapter of your old fraternity, just do like the gays in the Navy.

Dont tell anyone at your new school and pledge a different fraternity.



***not saying that I have done this or that I approve of someone doing this , but....***


And even if they do cross reference SS#s, just write yours down and switch the last 2 numbers around.

Confuzzled23 03-29-2007 10:56 AM

I have worn my jersey and have been actively been trying to start my chapter. I have sat out in our courtyard a few times during my free period trying to actively recruit pledges, but to no avail.

33girl 03-29-2007 11:21 AM

ok I'm sorry, but this sounds really pathetic. I don't think anyone is going to be interested in one lone guy saying "hey, help me be a chapter!"

did you speak to the Greek Life office at all? Are there any other guys out there who want to start a fraternity?

be69chevy 03-29-2007 11:47 AM

sorry man but...
 
33girl is right.

You are going about it the wrong way. If you are really interested in starting a new chapter you need to...

1. Contact you national organization and try to get them involved. For example Sigma Nu has a chapter building team that goes around the country where there is interest helping set up new chapters. And can help you find some other Alumni in your area that can help you.

2. Dont try recruiting strangers right off. Start with your friends and any acquantinances you have on campus. Try to find other members of your fraternity that may have transferred to your current school.

3. Definitely see the greek affairs office at get their help and advice.

4. Spend some time and money on flyers and hold interest meeting on campus.
Example:
"A select group of men at (insert college name here) will have the opportunity to create an entirely new fraternity experience- something truly unique and different. These outstanding individuals will shape what they believe fraternity should be. (insert fraternity name here) is coming to campus."

Picture of your Fraternity Crest and Date, Time, Location of interest meeting.

5. Run the same flyer in the school paper as an ad.

6. At some point you will have to contact IFC to get colony status.







Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1420203)
ok I'm sorry, but this sounds really pathetic. I don't think anyone is going to be interested in one lone guy saying "hey, help me be a chapter!"

did you speak to the Greek Life office at all? Are there any other guys out there who want to start a fraternity?


TSteven 03-29-2007 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be69chevy (Post 1420126)
I have seen questions like this asked a lot on this board and I just dont quiet understand.

Do IFC/NIC cross reference membership lists by social sercurity #s when new guys pledge?

I highly doubt it.

I guess its all comes down to personal ethics.

Unless you are tattooed with your old fraternities letters or have been wearing your old fraternity shirts at your new school and really actively trying to start another chapter of your old fraternity, just do like the gays in the Navy.

Dont tell anyone at your new school and pledge a different fraternity.



***not saying that I have done this or that I approve of someone doing this , but....***


And even if they do cross reference SS#s, just write yours down and switch the last 2 numbers around.

Without going into the whole "loyally thing" (which may mean different things to different people), the issue isn't so much can he get away with the deceit because that is possible. The issue is what if he is caught? His "new" chapter may not care one way or the other if he is or was a member of another fraternity. However, they may care that he deceived them. And or didn't trust them enough to be honest with them about his situation.

Frankly, I'm guessing resigning and getting a release from the current fraternity shouldn't be much of an issue.

TSteven 03-29-2007 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be69chevy (Post 1420223)
33girl is right.

You are going about it the wrong way. If you are really interested in starting a new chapter you need to...

1. Contact you national organization and try to get them involved. For example Sigma Nu has a chapter building team that goes around the country where there is interest helping set up new chapters. And can help you find some other Alumni in your area that can help you.

2. Dont try recruiting strangers right off. Start with your friends and any acquantinances you have on campus. Try to find other members of your fraternity that may have transferred to your current school.

3. Definitely see the greek affairs office at get their help and advice.

4. Spend some time and money on flyers and hold interest meeting on campus.
Example:
"A select group of men at (insert college name here) will have the opportunity to create an entirely new fraternity experience- something truly unique and different. These outstanding individuals will shape what they believe fraternity should be. (insert fraternity name here) is coming to campus."

Picture of your Fraternity Crest and Date, Time, Location of interest meeting.

5. Run the same flyer in the school paper as an ad.

6. At some point you will have to contact IFC to get colony status.

Great starting points.

Tom Earp 03-29-2007 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled23 (Post 1419917)
i pledged a fraternity last spring '06 and ended up moving out east that summer. Where i live now there are no chapters near me, the closest is 3 hours away. I am trying this semester to start my own chapter in my new school but I just do not have the time with school and work. I have no real idea if i ever am going to be moving back to my original hometown to be with my frat again and so I am a little confused right now. Should i de-brother and join a new fraternity?

I do feel like an ass for just "ditching" my brothers like this, but I have tried creating my own chapter but i just don't have the time for it. I have no idea what to do or if i can even pledge a new fraternity? I know some fraternities don't accept men who have de-brothered from another fraternity.. so Im just lost at all ends here any help would be appreciated.

The new fraternity i was thinking about joining is the Latino fraternity Lambda Sigma Upsilon, any1 know if they accept people who have de-brothered from other fraternities? Also what does the de-brother process involve? Do i have to go back home to de-brother at my school?


While it may seem an unimportant question, but you said you Pledged. Were you Initiated? Now, if you were a member of a NIC GLO there are very few who will deactivate you but there are some who will release you. If you were just a "Pledge" only, then you can move onward.

So lets take it you were Initiated and a full member!

You are now at your new School and want to start a Chapter.

1. Contact your HQ.
2. Are there other Chapters close by?
3. How big is your GLO in the area of the country?
4. What is the Greek capacity compared to school population?
5. Are they expandable? (School)
6. Is your GLO wanting to expand!

Now, if all questions are answered then go ahead and sit out and go :D
Promote and see what happens! One LXA did it at Wyoming and there is a Chapter there now!

fantASTic 03-29-2007 10:16 PM

If I were you, I'd try to get your nationals or your old chapter to help you out starting a new one first. Disaffiliating is a sad, sad thing for all involved. I think if you had proper support from the school and your chapter you could do fine. We recently had Phi Sigma Sigma start a new chapter at our school [just now, actually] and they have sixty girls, give or take about five. They were allowed to have formal recruitment, so they took quite a few girls there.

So, to sum up:

Meet with your Greek Life people
Talk to nationals, or your old chapter if you were more local
Don't give up on your brothers.

MysticCat 03-30-2007 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp (Post 1420399)
You are now at your new School and want to start a Chapter.

1. Contact your HQ.
2. Are there other Chapters close by?

He already answered that in the second sentence of his post:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled23 (Post 1419917)
Where i live now there are no chapters near me, the closest is 3 hours away.

Confuzzled, I think your best bet is to talk with the HQ of the fraternity you joined last spring -- both about the possibility of assistance in starting a chapter and, if that's not going to happen, about your other options.

If a new chapter of your org isn't going to happen, you could talk with Lambda Sigma Upsilon about whether they have a "social affiliate" sort of things -- some orgs/chapters allow "orphaned Greeks" to participate with them in social activities (but not ritual or business) under certain circumstances.

Confuzzled23 03-30-2007 10:55 AM

yea im a full initiate of my fraternity

i have contacted HQ and they have sent me the info on how to create a new chapter, i sat out in the school courtyard a few times just to see what kind of intrest there is in a new frat on campus and i got 4 names and e-mails in total and thats nothin 2 get excited about.

The thing is that im workin full time as well as goin 2 school full time so i know i'm not gonna have much time to put into this. Its not an excuse but school comes first and then i need money 2 stay in school so yea its gotta be done.

now that i think about it i'm prolly not gonna have time to pledge a new fraternity anyway, so i guess i can look into that social affiliate thing and if not i'll just rock my jersey solo for now.

thanks for all the help people

RU OX Alum 03-30-2007 11:00 AM

don't try to find brothers and make them your friends, find friends and make them your brothers

what I mean is....make friends, like regular, from class or whatever, then pick two or three who are your closest/coolest allies, and get them to join, odds are they will get excited about starting a new fraternity (esp. freshmen and sophmores) and help you build from there.

Tom Earp 03-31-2007 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum (Post 1420720)
don't try to find brothers and make them your friends, find friends and make them your brothers

what I mean is....make friends, like regular, from class or whatever, then pick two or three who are your closest/coolest allies, and get them to join, odds are they will get excited about starting a new fraternity (esp. freshmen and sophmores) and help you build from there.


Excellent point.

I started a local with me only. But, I played pool with a couple of guys and they were interested. They were required to be in ROTC and found others. There were others who were in other GLOs and left for different reasons and became interested.

Now, how many Fraterities are at your campus and is there a need there for another?

If you have four who are interested then, that is a start. Do they have friends? If yes, then if each one of them got four that equals 17 to start with. That is about what Beta Chi ended up starting with.

Everyone usually has time restictions so it is nothing new. Can your HQ send someone down to help recruit if you get @ that number and are they interested in that area?

PM me and maybe we can discuss it off of site!:)

DPUDChi 04-04-2007 03:08 AM

Quote:

Do IFC/NIC cross reference membership lists by social sercurity #s when new guys pledge?

I highly doubt it.
Uhhh, whether or not they will acutally cross reference social security #'s, I'm not sure. But, I can tell you that Delta Chi's IHQ requires the socail for an initiate on his PR (personal record) form before permission to initiate is granted. The form also asks for any other fraternal or secret order affiliation.

It was always my understanding that once you are initiated into a national fraternity, that you may never join any other naional fraternity. Delta Chi expressly prohibits its chapters from initiating anyone who has ever been initiated into another fraternity. DX also disallows its members, even those who deactivate, to ever join another fraternity.

I do have to ask, though, does this counts for non-secretive fraternities, such as Delta Upsilon? Can DU initiate a inactive member of another fraternity, and can DX initiate an inactive DU (or any other non-secretive fraternity)?

Confuzzled23 04-04-2007 07:06 AM

I don't understand why its so serious about dropping out and joining another fraternity.. its a club/organization just like anything else out there, sure its got its secrets but its not like u know how to convert lead into gold or somethin.

I just dont get why its such a big deal?

AlphaFrog 04-04-2007 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled23 (Post 1423626)
I don't understand why its so serious about dropping out and joining another fraternity.. its a club/organization just like anything else out there, sure its got its secrets but its not like u know how to convert lead into gold or somethin.

I just dont get why its such a big deal?

:eek: You don't deserve to be in a Fraternity.:eek:

MysticCat 04-04-2007 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled23 (Post 1423626)
I don't understand why its so serious about dropping out and joining another fraternity.. its a club/organization just like anything else out there, sure its got its secrets but its not like u know how to convert lead into gold or somethin.

I just dont get why its such a big deal?

When you pledged or were initiated into your present fraternity, did you take a vow or oath to be loyal to that fraternity and not to pledge any other fraternity? (Answer this in your head, not online.) That would be one reason it is a big deal. I don't know too many clubs or organizations where that kind of promise is made.

Loyalty is another. Joining a fraternity is (or should be) a life-time commitment, not a three- or four-year or while-I-feel-like-it hitch. If you're not in it for the long-haul, you might as well not bother.

33girl 04-04-2007 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DPUDChi (Post 1423617)
I do have to ask, though, does this counts for non-secretive fraternities, such as Delta Upsilon? Can DU initiate a inactive member of another fraternity, and can DX initiate an inactive DU (or any other non-secretive fraternity)?

AFAIK, the only difference between DU and other NIC fraternities is that their ritual is secret. The not joining another group doesn't have to do with other people being able to see the ritual, it has to do with the oaths you took. Whether you took them in the presence of only your brothers or in front of the whole campus community shouldn't matter.

Oh, and I agree with Alpha Frog. I sincerely hope the LSU brothers are reading this thread.

SWTXBelle 04-04-2007 09:50 AM

There are a slew of other types of clubs you can join - I'd suggest you look into those.

TSteven 04-04-2007 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DPUDChi (Post 1423617)
I do have to ask, though, does this counts for non-secretive fraternities, such as Delta Upsilon? Can DU initiate a inactive member of another fraternity, and can DX initiate an inactive DU (or any other non-secretive fraternity)?

Delta Upsilon and Alpha Kappa Lambda (the other NIC fraternity that is "non-secretive") are members of the NIC. As such, for a member of either fraternity to potentially join another NIC - or visa verse - the member would need to terminate their membership and be granted a release by the IHQ before he can do so.

Questquetupense 04-27-2009 06:57 AM

Here's another scenario,
Let's say ethically, there's another reason for wanting to deactivate from a chapter. By ethically, I mean there is a conflict with members in the chapter and their exposure to ethnic diversity, sexuality, religious affiliation, economic class, etc.

I know of a few (if not more than I dare to mention) guys that have described their membership as being "sold something, and didn't get their money's worth". Granted these are smaller schools in my area away from metropolitan areas where the majority of the members are from these secluded areas or upperclass clusters founded the organizations.

Nevertheless, should these young men be "harrassed" or "made fun of" for characteristics that are out of their control? And secondly, shouldn't they have the right to be released from an "abusive relationship", much like that of a marriage that is detrimental to you psychological wellness. Marriage is a good example in that, you take an oath to do certain things. Abuse is not covered in the ceremony's text, it's more like a grey area. What do you guy's think?

TSteven 04-27-2009 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Questquetupense (Post 1803871)
Should these young men be "harrassed" or "made fun of" for characteristics that are out of their control?

No they should not. Unfortunately, it happens.

Quote:

And secondly, shouldn't they have the right to be released from an "abusive relationship", much like that of a marriage that is detrimental to you psychological wellness. Marriage is a good example in that, you take an oath to do certain things. Abuse is not covered in the ceremony's text, it's more like a grey area. What do you guy's think?
Yes. They have the right to terminate their membership.

knight_shadow 04-27-2009 03:24 PM

Ugh. Every time I see "de-brothering" I want to throw up.

moe.ron 04-27-2009 11:13 PM

I keep thinking de-flowering.
:cool:


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