Mother-in-laws
 

I always hear these nightmare stories about mothers-in-law . . . judgemental, demanding, not liking the daughter-in-law etc.

I was wondering . . . are these types of stories generally true? Or at least common enough to warrant it being thought of as commonly true?

Maybe its just an urban legend.

But why would Mothers-in-laws be so bad? Do they just not think the girl is good enough for their son? And didn't they have a mother-in-law they hated? So why would they do that to some other poor girl.

You would think they would try and stop the circle of violence.

Any good Mother-in-law stories?

Every guy at work calls their MIL their Monster In Law.

One of them calls his MIL "The Donald" :p

There are definitely some horrible MIL's out there. I'm unlucky enough to have one.

There was the time she tried to twist our arms to have our wedding in her home town (so all her friends could attend) rather than in our home town (so all our friends could attend).

There was the time she came over to my house on Yom Kippur and demanded that I serve lunch. (Yes, she is Jewish, as am I.)

There's her constant nagging for us to have a baby so that she can be a grandmother.

Basically, she thinks nobody is good enough for her little boy, and she thinks that she, not me, should be the number one most important woman in DH's life. She's had a lot of trouble adjusting to the idea that I am the most important woman in DH's life now.

MIL's own MIL is a sweetie. MIL's mother, though... like mother, like daughter. MIL's mother thinks the entire world revolves around her and we are all here to do her bidding... and MIL herself believes the same thing.

FIL is no prize either. Last time we saw him, he told DH in front of me that he should have had sex with Anna Nicole Smith. (Way to go, Dad, tell your son to cheat on his wife, in front of the wife!)

My parents won't talk to my inlaws. Unfortunately, I have to interact with them for DH's sake, but I try to keep it to a minimum.

We're meeting the inlaws for dinner tonight. I may be posting in this thread again before the evening is out...

http://www.motherinlawstories.com/mo...s_12_25_99.htm

Crazy mother-in-law site.

Although I'm not married, the one time it looked like that might happen, my situation was the exact opposite. I LOVED the woman who would have been my MIL...it was her son that was the problem. We never fought about his parents at all. She actually told me that she wished she had another son who wasn't stupid, because she wanted me to be her DIL more than anything! As much as I love the woman though...I'll just keep her as a friend!

I have a friend who's MIL is TERRIBLE to her, calls her fat, caused all kinds of greif when she was planning the wedding.. etc, so its' not just an urban legand.
If I end up marrying my BF I will be lucky enough to get a SUPER MIL. Both his parents are very nice and treat me very well. His dad once asked if they could trade my BF for me since I was "so polite and well raised" and his mother said "well I'd be glad to take on Cara... but I can't give up my son". Hopefully she still thinks that way if I marry her son !! hehe =)

I am fortunate in that I've never been seriously involved with a guy who has a domineering, obnoxious mother.

I find this quote that James posted interesting:

This woman is mean, cold and nasty to me, and since my fiancé is a spineless, gutless wonder, he would never say anything to mommy.

Why in the hell would this woman marry a spineless, gutless wonder? Holy hell.

Woah - I guess I'm lucky then that my MIL lives 3000 miles away in Mexico, and I've never met her (my parents have, and they say she's an awesome lady, though). I have talked to her on the phone a few times, and she seems like a sweet enough woman. Eventually, I'll get enough vacation saved up and we'll get to go visit.

Maybe I'm rare but I really like my future mother-in-law. She's awesome and is very good to both my fiance and me.

I guess I should add that my husband didn't get so lucky - we live 3 miles away from his batshit crazy MIL.

I thought that the issue between my MIL and me was that we just came from two different "worlds" until last year...

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, no kids, she is desperate for a gandchild. Last year she said to me (without my husband present of course) "Do you think C would have married you if he had known you didn't want kids?" :eek: - because it's all my fault. She also asked another entirely inappropriate question (which I won't post here) in the same conversation. I was so stunned all I didn't say anything. When my husband confronted her about it later she said "It's not my fault Brandi can't have an adult conversation". I'm sorry, but in my opinion that is not an adult conversation. I would never say that to anyone, not even my best friend. I assume if two people get married and stay married as long as we have it's not because one of them got suckered into it.

There are many other incidents, but this is not the correct message board for them ;)

I was very lucky. I get along great w/ my mother in law. She's very sweet. Of course she has her moments.... like when my husband and i said that we were moving the wedding up to Dec instead of June. We've been married for almost 3 months and she's gotten use to her little boy being married.

I've had my ups & downs with mine. It's gotten a lot better lately but she still has her moments. My hubby says to just ignore her b/c she's never going to change.

I'm really scared thinking about what this might have been. :eek:

My little's MIL was one of those "nice on the surface, but underneath you're really not good enough for my baby boy" types. Of course their divorce was all my little's fault. I think I'd rather deal with someone who is just straight up rude and doesn't hide it.

I'm lucky, my mother-in-law is great, and has been since my wife and I got together.

My future MIL is awful. We've been dating for 6.5 years (well, were on a break for a year in between, but still spent all our time together during that year) and she thinks that I'm not good enough for him. She and her husband are VERY well off, and look down on my family since we aren't as rich, and she makes constant, ridiculing comments. On Christmas Eve, she pretty much lost it when she found out my BF was coming to my house the next morning to open presents - she actually grabbed my arm and pushed me back, yelling at me that I wasn't married to her son and wasn't family, and if he (my BF) wasn't at her house Christmas Day, then I was never welcome at their house again. ((Note: They had never invited him, or mentioned to him, that anything was going on Christmas Day - we assumed they were only celebrating Christmas Eve festivities)). This is only the icing on an absolutely crazy cake.

BUT - I like looking at the bright side, and it is that in this situation in particular, and all others, my BF has taken my side. He's quick to tell her that she's out of line, that he and I are a family, etc. So its nice that in spite of the headache, I do know that our bond is stronger than her (lack of an) influence on him.

I think the vast majority of "bad MIL" stories aren't actually a result from a seriously evil, hovering MIL and a totally victimized, innocent DIL.

I think that most MIL problems mostly occur when the MIL/DILs can't or won't be flexible with "the way things are done." People get really passionate about their traditions, familial expectations, and boundaries. So when Mary MIL suggests that maybe Danielle DIL should quit her job to stay home with the kids, Danielle is like "Hell no, this is my life and my family, butt out" and Mary is totally offended, saying "How could you go against our family tradition like that? That's not what's best for my son and grandkids." Of course, this pisses off Danielle even more and the whole debate becomes a point of extended familial contention. And thus an ugly MIL/DIL relationship begins to snowball.

Now for my future MIL stories...
Let me first say that I really love my FMIL. She's a great person and we get along very well, and she's even told my fiance that she wants to be the most easygoing MIL ever. For the most part, she's been an absolute angel. That said, she's a little "kooky" in some really funny ways. She's not exactly the most "in touch" person while I'd say my fiance and I are culturally "with it" as most 20somethings are (i.e. we know how to perform a Google search and we know that Britney Spears is a singer, etc.)

My only funny MIL stories have to do with a total, utter breakdown in communication due to what can only be described as cultural boundaries (in that I live in 2007 and she lives in 1975). For instance, MIL wanted to give my younger brother a birthday present. She asked me for ideas, so I gave her a few ideas like video games, electronic equipment, books, etc. She ended up giving my brother a bunch of Star Wars action figures. Now my brother likes Star Wars as much as any other guy, I guess, but he certainly isn't like a die-hard fan. I should also mention that brother's a COLLEGE FRESHMAN and hasn't owned toys in years. (My fiance later spoke to FMIL and the only thing she ever said about it is that someone told her that Star Wars action figures can be worth a lot of money and that she thought that they would be nice "collectibles"). Thanks for the thought anyway MIL! She's funny like that.

Other quirks include FMIL's habit of using what she perceives to be "rap slang" around black men (embarassing), mailing me every magazine/newspaper article/printed-out chain email that she believes might be remotely related to my life....everyday (annoying), and owning a pet rat that I think is rabid (scary).

She means well.

My FMIL is awesome and crazy. I swear she has ADHD but I do too so we really get along. She loves me because her son loves me and I make him happy.

My most recent ex's mother HATED me. I'm pretty sure it's because I wasn't Jewish and therefore not good enough for her darling only child. Well he's dating a jewish girl now so I hope she likes her a lot more than me.

When I was sick 2 weeks ago with a high fever (102), my future MIL suggested I was ovulating and not sick.

I get along very well with my MIL, and my husband gets along well with my mother. I think the fact we both come from similar backgrounds and family situations, and that our mothers have quite a bit in common, helps a lot.

Both of our mothers were very hands-off when we were planning our wedding, and only stepped in when we asked for their assistance. Likewise, they are great about letting us raise our son as we see fit. They're there when we ask for help, but won't go behind our backs about something regarding our son.

My soon-to-be MIL and I don't have any open hostility, but we're not best friends, and probably never will be. Two people who are both control freaks usually won't get along perfectly in that kind of relationship, so it's probably for the best that there will be a few hours separating us after the wedding. She's a very nice woman, and has great intentions, but being realistic about it, I don't think she's my biggest fan :rolleyes: (My Southern-ness and her Yankee-ness are really clashing with this wedding planning. I will be so glad once it's done with!)

^^Haha, my MIL is a very difficult person because she KNOWS she's a "Black Scarlett O'Hara".

My husband did have a sitdown and strong language talk with her.

The book, "Seven Secrets to Marriage" should be read before you marry so that folks can subvert the pain and suffering.

The issue that the MIL's have is "No little heffa is gonna take my baby boy away"!!! And they always think their sons cannot make their own choices. I don't know what to say if you cannot get through all that without some sense of spirituality.

But hey, to each his/her own.

^^ LMAO, is that good or bad?


It is offical: My mother can't stand my Sister-in-Law. She can't stop talking about the things that she does that annoy her and the woman has only been here for two weeks.

Why has Killarney Rose not posted in this thread yet? It is INCOMPLETE without her contributions!!! :confused: ;)

I notice all of you are talking about your "future" MILs....well, let me just tell you that anything that annoys you now will be unbearable in about 20 years.

This is why I insist that we will not live within 3 hours, at least, of her, unless a miracle occurs. It is just for the best ... :)

I think I must be pretty lucky. I get along wonderfully with my in-laws. In fact, we lived next door to them for the first 2 years of our marriage. (Just happened to work out that while we were looking for a place to rent until we bought a house, the home next door to them became available and it was a deal we couldn't turn down.)

Had a lot of people tell me "Are you crazy? How could you even think about living next door to your in-laws?" But you know what? There was never a problem with living next door to them - not a single one. I'm not saying that I've never had any differences of opinion with them, but they've been normal disagreements that you might have with anyone you know. Not something that turned into a grudge-match, horrible in-law incident.

We moved into our own home a few years ago, but the in-laws still live under 15 minutes from us. It actually is convenient, because we have quick access to babysitting when necessary. :)

I am not engaged, but this guy that I was seeing said his mom asked him a lot of questions about me. She asked do I cook for him and a lot of stuff that she does for him. No, I didn't cook for him we had only been seeing each other for about a month!! I was not trying to be his mom! She then told him that she does not understand how he is going to find anyone good enough. He is a spoiled ass brat! I acts like he dosen't know how to do anything just so other epople can do it for him. VAgirl and OOhsoflyDelta#9...you know who I am talking about.:rolleyes:

1908Revelations, why am I not surprized...:rolleyes:...my "ya know" is a mommy's boy too...she doesn't do everything for him, he just feels like he has to tell her EVERY damn thing!!:mad: I hate that $hit...I'm always like "hey guy grow a pair and stop using mommy as your Dr. Phil...."

WHOA...add another thing to the list.

I'd highly recommend that you do not get with this boy... 'Cuz the next thing she's gonna ask is when is you gonna have a baby like you s'pose to do it all by yourself and homegirls KNOWS her son's spunk swims fast... :rolleyes:

My future MIL and I get along just enough for family events to say the least. We both honestly like eachother but sometimes we can clash when it comes to her little boy. Thankfully, he's the 5th son out of 6 boys so he's been pretty much forgotten about. We've been together for 5.5 years and she's really hitting the "baby-talk" hard, poor woman. Also, he was raised dirt poor while I was raised very comfortably so that has started some incidents within the family. There was a period where he was dressing a lot better (non-redneck/poor kid) and his family started ignoring him and all, pissed me off to say the least. But, my family has adopted him and couldn't be happier :)

My ex's mom though raised a mama's boy through and through. In those 2 years it was a PAIN. She resented me for the thought of her son putting another woman above her for a period. However now, she's wanting me back...and it's been over 6 YEARS. Everytime she runs into anyone who may know me she asks about me and harasses my poor ex when we'll be getting back together. See, he's been engaged and left at the alter like 2-3 times within that time period. Yeah, glad to be outta that one!

True!

Last night I was watching The Bernie Mac Show. Bernie's in-laws were coming over and he called them grand-pains-in-the-ass. I thought that was sooooo funny!:D :D