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Would you get seriously involved with a guy/girl if he/she......
Here's the situation. Lets say you found a guy/girl very attractive who was really nice to you, never disrespectful, but during conversation you asked he/she how many serious relationships he/she were in. He/she told you, and then you asked how many people was he/she was intimate with. Let's say he/she told you a really high number, and at the same time he/she said they don't sleep around like that anymore, would you continue dating them to try to get serious with them, or would you just end it?
Also your thoughts on if it would be that important to even ask the question. |
Mmmmm.......first of all, I'd be creeped that it even came up. Then, if it was a high number, I'd be seriously turned away. But there are extenuating circumstances: Has it been a day since you stopped sleeping around like that anymore? When was your last blood test and how good was it looking for you (hey, if you can bring up uncomfortable topics, so can I)? I'd have to know that before my decision could be final and, even then, I reserve the right to change it if I find out anything else that makes me post on message boards asking peope's advice:D.
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1,000,000 partners + no disease = Good
3 partners + fatal disease = bad Stop having conversations about their past sexual history if you are only going to like certain answers. |
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Also, are christiangirl and cheerfulgreek the new Moochagoo/curiousgirl? |
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James, you made a good point, but there is no way of telling if she has an STD until you catch it from her. Is it important for me to know how many sexual partners she's had? YES. Very important. I wouldn't ask her right away, but eventually it would come up in conversation, and once she said 4 or more, or lied and tried to lower the number, I would have to let her go. It's the friends with benefits thing that causes the high number of sexual partners. I don't agree with the FWB thing but everyone has their own opinion. I don't think there is anything wrong with being a freak or doing the freak nasty, but only with one person in a committed long term relationship. Not 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 or more ect. sexual partners. CG I sent you a PM too. Let me know what's up. O.K.? |
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If you're not going to like the answer, DON'T ASK THE QUESTION.
And for virgins, you two are sure obsessed with sex. Will you just get laid already?:rolleyes: |
I didn't end it, I married him. He has a ridiculously high number IMO. He's also older, was in his early 20s in the 80s when the whole world was sleeping together, and had come out of it all with not a single STD. I figured he must be good luck. :p
Seriosuly, as they others have said, it all depends and if you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question. |
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I figure that anything anyone has done in the past, without me, is NOT MY BUSINESS. If I'm planning on sleeping with him, all that should concern me is whether or not he is clean. Everyone makes mistakes. I wouldn't want to miss out on a good thing because of mistakes made years before when I wasn't in the picture. While I don't consider anyone in my past a mistake, I wouldn't want to continue to punish a man for something he might consider a mistake. I never brought up sexual past when I was dating. To me that is just psycho, nosy, and a warning flag for future stalking of exes. Again, being disease-free is the most important thing. And still take precautions until several tests come back negative. For BOTH of us.
PAST = NOT MY BUSINESS. Period. If I don't want him running a background check and questioning every move, I'm sure as hell not gonna do it to him. Plus, how do you know he's not lying? Either to increase the number or decrease the number? You have no way of proving anything, so why concern yourself with it? |
Another good reason not to bring up the past-if you really like this guy/girl, it will drive you insane to think about them being with someone else before you. You do not need that kind of obsession going on. It will tear you apart.
Are they clean? Are they concentrating on you and not dwelling on old flames? If both answers are yes, leave it alone. |
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*** I think it's important to know your significant other's past but, if don't think you can deal with what you hear, then maybe you're not ready to ask. |
Lewis Black is my hero. lol
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Grown adults don't have to report a number or details about their sex life to anyone but their medical provider. |
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How many times have I seen this boy and where are we--in his car, at dinner in his bedroom naked?
And what's my context, our serious relationship, like I will be engaged to him or this down for whateva? :p These have scaleble answers... Any y'all two posters do need to get sum and stop tell us your little stories. We all can by porn... Rudey would be more than happy to share all his baggagging experience with you... |
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PB answered a question honestly, without passing judgement on anybody and while admitting that everyone has their own opinions and preferences. So what's with the cyber-teasing (this isn't directed at whoever's right above me)?
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I've got to say that I need to know.
When we get to that point in a relationship, it's important. I am a firm beleiver in abstinence and knowing how experienced/unexperienced and how many people a person has been with is crucial. Not from the very begining though. To wait that long and then catch something off the first time, I'd be highly pissed off. Quote: Originally Posted by AlphaFrog http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/im...s/viewpost.gif And for virgins, you two are sure obsessed with sex. Will you just get laid already?:rolleyes: You got that right!:p :rolleyes: Kidding. But I do feel that way sometimes. |
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ETA: Also, and I'm really not kidding, don't you worry about getting married to some guy only to find out that you have terrible sex together? What then? |
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How would she know the difference? She wouldn't have anything to compare it to.
Content with stale crackers . . . Never knowing the taste of a Ritz . . . with cheese spread . . . Quote:
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If she hasn't been practicing her Kegels, she won't really have that many issues of knowing it's bad unless it lasts less than 30 seconds... I mean, most guys last 15 minutes... Guys not on Vitamin V, that can last longer than that time with ejaculatory control--well, some of them don't have "endownments": some lack in girth but stay up, whereas, some lack in length, like a wet Q-tip. Besides, I think some of these virginal young ladies are hitting their fecundity--you know all that drive stuff is starting earlier and earlier... They just can't wear 3 inch heels... :rolleyes: |
Valkyrie: I won't play Miss Phony and/or Perfect. I have OFTEN worried about that aspect of marriage. I would have to do 1 of 3 things.
1) Get us some help [i.e. videos, a class...] 2) Pray or 3) Marry a Kappa Man. Just Kidding! But on real note, I don't even know what I'd do if it didn't work at all. I do know I'd be severly disappointed. BTW: Lol. Wow! I don't think I'd just hit it with the next person... (I never say never because things and people change.) But I think and hope that I'd be mature enough and strong enough to not run out on my husband. |
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Lol, I do think about that sometimes (mainly because people like you keep asking me;) ). Honestly, I doubt I'll know it's bad unless it hurts like hell (after the 3rd or 4th time). That's one of the pluses of waiting...we could be having really lousy sex, but if I can't compare it with anything, how should I know? I think of it like this: When I was 8, my mom gave me 10 bucks and I was practically HIGH with excitement. I'd never had so much and absolutely lost my mind with how good I had it. Now, some 13-ish years later, I can go through $1000 like it's nothing. What I wouldn't give to be THAT excited over $10 without being practically starving with $3 in my account and nothing but a stick of butter in the fridge. Besides, 1. I figure if I don't marry my husband for sex, I won't stray from him for sex and I certainly wouldn't leave him for sex. 2. I can probably keep it interesting enough that it won't be bad for long. I have the sneaking suspicion that after all the time I'm waiting, I'm gonna be a freak. /end hijack |
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Here's what I really think -- the attitude you have might be admirable in some circles (devout Christians) but you're selling yourself short. There's NO REASON to spend your life with some one-minute man who couldn't satisfy a woman to save his life. I'm not saying you should go out and hit it with the next dude on the street, but isn't it possible that the whole save-yourself-for-marriage thing was established a LONG ass time ago, when people got married at the age of 12, had 19 kids, and died before 40? Maybe it's time to re-evaluate. |
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Yeah I'm definetly getting the feeling that I'm gonna be a little bit more than freaky once it actually happens... Like hooked freaky. |
I moved my answer to my own thread because I don't wanna take CG's thread from her....it's not supposed to be about me!!
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I'm having a lot of trouble telling you two apart. . .
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