whitelily needs advice
 

I will be attending a new school in the Fall and hope to go through recruitment. Here's my backround story. I've moved around a lot and only had one chance to attend a recruitment event. It was two years ago, but it was informal, and I didn't really get a chance to know many girls. The girls that did know me promised me they would pull really hard to get me in. I obviously did not get in and I was crushed. I was so upset I stopped talking to those girls and shut myself off to most of Greek Life.

Due to family/personal stuff, I had to move and change schools. Unfortunately, it was to a community college, with no Greek system. So, I did what everyone suggested and joined a service sorority. It's nice, but there isn't as much sisterhood as I was hoping for.

I think I can make it through recruitment itself, but there is one detail that might bring everything to a screeching halt. In the fall, when I can go through recruitment, I'll be 22. I'm aware that's not the typical age for someone to join a group, but I know of a girl who went through at 25 and she was married.

It's a fairly small school that has four NPC groups, one of which just recently colonized. I know I'll be spending at least 3 years there finishing my degree. I just don't know if that will help me at this point.

Sorry this was so long. Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

I haven't been in a sorority for too long (2 weeks till initiation!) but there have been a few other stories like yours on greekchat. Someone who's been on the other side might be able to give you more advice than I can, but definitely mention that you will be in school for 3 years. I think your chances would be greater since you would be there for that length of time. Read some other recruitment stories on here to get more tips! Good luck

If you do choose to go through recruitment, make sure to mention that you will be in school for 3 years to finish your degree. I think (and this is just my opinion) it would help to mention your involvement in the service sorority and talk about some of the philanthropic things you've done through that organization.

Age as a main factor may or may not matter depending on the dynamics of your school and the greek life there.

I joined my chapter at the age of 21 and as a junior because I was a transfer student... and a semester after I transferred to my school I changed majors so that put me in school for a little while longer.

Recs may or may not be a "big thing" for your campus, but it doesn't hurt to meet up with alums of the NPC groups on your new campus to learn a bit about their organization.

I was 22 and junior when I joined.

Your age and class rank may be an issue, but with only 4 sororities, and one of those being recently colonized they will proabably be more open to upperclassmen and older students than at other campuses. Make it a point to work into each conversation you have at recruitment that you will be at school for another 3 years. You don't need to bring up your age or explain that away.

Go through recruitment and see what happens. Cuts are inevitable in this process and can be disappointing. Go into recruitment with an open mind and give all of the sororites a fair chance to wow you. If you come in with the perspective that you are looking for a few chapters you enjoy rather than just one that you must-have, you'll have a healthier mindset throughout the process. Good luck!

I feel a little better now. I know it's not impossible, but it isn't going to be easy. I'd like to thank all of you for your answers. Being open minded is not a problem. I guess it's easier to do that at a school with so few groups.

Because of my situation, would recs be a good or bad idea for me? I know they're supposed to be an introduction and resume kind of deal. I don't know if they're used a lot at this school, though.

Any ideas?

This is good advice! especially about the colony wanting upperclassmen. I was a 23 year old freshman, fresh out of the military, which is why I was older. I also go to a small school - only 2 NPC sororities. Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Recs are never a bad idea... they give the chapter a chance to get to know a little more about you before recruitment. If your campus' recruitment isn't competitive, it might seem like overkill to have multiple recs for each house, but one for each covers all of your bases and I can't imagine that it would be bad for them to see that a sister recommends you! On the same token, if it's not too competitive, don't freak out about it if you don't know someone who can write a rec for you for all 4 groups.

Have fun with recruitment! I went to a very competitive school and we still had transfer pledges at several houses who were often 20-22 years old. As long as you push the fact that you will be there almost as long as an 18 year old freshman, I don't think your age will hurt you in a smaller campus' recruitment.

Problems with Recs
 

I'm all about getting recs, but I'm aware of a small problem. I know I can't tell anyone where I'm from, other than that it's in the south.

There is only an alumnae group for one of those organizations. The second is at least an hour away, the third is over two hours away, and the fourth doesn't even exist in my state.

Does anyone have advice on how to proceed with this knowledge?

I was a junior when I joined. I went to a school that had 4 NPC sororities. Don't lose hope, it can be done. I would never change waiting until later in school to join. I made the best decision because of it.

Be positive, meet anyone and everyone you can, get recs if you can (I didn't have any), and just be your fabulous self!!!

Age is obviously a factor, but the fact that you're going to be in school for a long as someone going through a recruitment as a sophomore should definitely help you out. Just be sure to mention it...you don't have to go into details, but let them know that you had a situation where you had to move home and that's why you're just now starting your life at this school. Tell them you know you have at least 3 good years there and can't wait to get involved. Obviously, there are no guarantees, but I think this will help your chances. I think it's worth it!

Good luck and like others have pointed it, recs are always a good thing. They may be able to help the chapter see more about you than just your age. :)

Also, if it makes you feel any better, there are girls that joined some chapters on my campus as 21 year old juniors and turned 22 shortly afterwards. :)

Just to keep everyone updated, I contacted NPC for the info for my closest Panhellenic Assoc. Group. (Which is at least 5 hours away!)

I'm starting to get really nervous. I'd really like to have stellar recs, considering my slightly unusual situation.

I know I should read up on each Org, but how much? I don't want to go into recruitment and have all their info memorized. That would scare some people. I don't want to ruin my chances by being stalkerish. Ick.

I think I need a mocha.

This made me :) .

Don't go nuts memorizing mascots, mission statements etc...that leaves the girls rushing you with nothing to talk about. :) Just so you know which group is which color and maybe a question or 2 to ask about their philanthropies, and you should be fine.

First things first. Relax. Being nervous when recruitment is months away will do you no go good. Visit the sorority national websites (you can find those HERE) but don't get too wrapped up in knowing everything about them. The sororities don't expect you to know ALL about them. Whatever you can learn about the sororities is good, as long as you don't go into recruitment spouting it off like a "know it all".

33girl- Glad I made you smile. I enjoy making people smile. I'm in the medical field and that's one of the things I hold closest to my heart. I ended up with an iced caramel latte. Yum, lol.

KSUViolet- You are an amazing resource for information. Thank you so much.

I am still working on getting transcripts and such for my new school and for the PA group I'll be contacting. Life is busy.

I haven't been around in quite some time, due to more chaos in my life. Who else would manage to come down with mono, have to change back to her other school because it offers more online classes, and have both grandparents in the ER/ICU during the same week?

I've pretty much given up on collegiate Greek life. I'll be at least 23 before I could go through another recruitment, and after the experience I had last week, I don't know if I could. I'd like some feedback from some of you out there on this.

I was sitting in a bookstore cafe, talking with one of my friends about Greek life. She was wondering if she would get a bid were she to rush; she was freaking out much like I would. I told her that it was never set in stone, but that if she didn't do it, she would always regret it. I then told her my story, about the broken promises among other things. She paled a bit and asked me if I had turned those girls in because that sounded like dirty rushing. I told her that I didn't because I believed those girls were my friends and that I loved their group so much, I didn't really care how I got in. I told her it all eventually led me to ESA and that sisterhood.

A woman was sitting at a table not too far from us seemed like she was listening. I thought maybe she was just nosy, so I just kept talking. The woman walked by and threw her trash away. On the way back to her table she stopped at mine. What she said next nearly blew me out of my seat.

"You have truly shown what being Greek is. After your experiences, you still kept pursuing your dream. And even though you didn't get the sorority you wanted, you found somewhere you fit in. If you still don't want to give up your dream, I believe there's a sisterhood out there for you. I know I would be proud to call you my sister."

She turned to my friend. "Your friend is right. You should give recruitment a chance. You may get a bid, or maybe not. It's what you take away from the experience that really matters."

I don't know much about her group, considering they aren't local to where I am. I don't know her name, or where she's from. I would guess that she was late twenties, early thirties. Should I just accept what she said, put it in the back of my mind for a rainy day, and move on?

I should have asked her if she used GC. :D

I say go for it! I pledged with 2 girls that were 22, and there was a girl in another pledge class that was older than you are now! I think that age should not matter, but rather the personality and quality of the person going through. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I say go for it! You have everything to gain and really nothing to lose!

You might as well try if it's something you really want.

If you don't get it, you don't get it, but at least you could say you tried as opposed to not trying and wondering if you would have got it.

It is obviously something you want, since you still talk about what happened at the other school years later...so I say go for it... 'cause if you don't, it sounds like it will consume your thoughts and you'll end up one of those crazy wanna-be AIs trying to fulfill their college dreamz.

I agree with what everyone has said on here, ultimately it is you who will be living with your decision and while it might be scary pursuing something like this as your older (some ppl would say that we would be more confident, but I suspect it's just as nerve wracking) but it's obviously something you've thought about for a long time. I think you should listen to that.

You have also had some serious hardships come your way, and you've managed to overcome them and persevere.

I am 24 right now, and I am still very active in my chapter and from what you can see on GC, most people are. I almost didn't end where I did, I pledged another organization, depledged and gave up pretty much. I took a "risk" at the time joining my organization (very low numbers, bad reputation,etc) , but it was the best thing I ever did. My point is, the risk might pay off, and if it doesn't, then you tried.
Good luck to you, I wish you the best, and I agree with what that woman said, I'd be proud to have you in my organization as well. :)

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at this. I knew about AI way before I ever knew about GC. One of the sisters of the sorority I wanted was actually the one who suggested it, after the whole disaster was over. However, it's not something to play lightly with and at this point in my life I'm not interested in going that route.

I believe you have a point when you say I'll never stop thinking about it. I know you're right. I'm sure people will ask (or are thinking) "why do you want this so much?" I could write a novel on that subject. So, with the great advice of all of you, fates willing, I'll be starting a real recruitment story this fall.

For now, I'm going to keep my head in my classes. I'll keep everyone posted on what's going to happen. As for my friend who was unsure about going Greek, I'm proud to say she's received a bid to Alpha Delta Pi!!!!

AlethiaSi- Thank you for your kind words of advice. I took them to heart.