Destination Weddings
 

1. We had a religious ceremony for our family after we eloped. You can search my username to find the details.

2. Sedona, Arizona

3. I really wanted my grandmother to attend, but I decided not to because it was July in Arizona and it would be too hot for her. Moreover, she would have to fly into Phoenix from Orlando, FL, then drive up 2 hours to Sedona... Only my husband's immediate family attended. I had just met his mother the day before our ceremony. And she's such a Southern Belle.

Do I regret it? No. Because it's about your husband and yourself, anyways...

4. Worth every lost penny...

The biggest thing if you know your family will be pissed off, then you all need to align your finances together for upto 2-3 years. By that time some of your family will get over it.

I highly suggest reviewing some of the "Marriage Enrichment" information either secular versions or religious versions. I think there is a very good Catholic Couples Counseling called Retrounaville [sp?]. Google it.

You all will have to work on your "soul togetherness" or you will start to fight when family pries into your relationship. But you will need your folks. It is hard to let your "baby" go when one doesn't know what will happen.

1. Have any of you guys done a destination wedding?
YUP
2. Where did you do it?
Las Vegas Baby!
3. Do you regret not having a big family party?
HELL NO

4. For those of you who have shelled out your future inheritance and your downpayment on a house...was your wedding worth it?

I don't regret a minute of it! We got married at the Excalibur and our portraits were done at the Bellagio

If you are looking at doing a destination wedding, check out this travel agent.
http://roadslesstaken.com/
The CEO is Beau and he has done some great trips for us.

1. Yes
2. Ireland
3. No, about 21 people including us were there...so basically all the people we wanted to be there were there. There were disappointed family members, but hopefully they've gotten over it. His family alone would have been about 80 guests...so it would have been way ridiculous.

Ultimately, you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. Family might be upset, but it's about you and your future husband doing what makes you feel good. Yeah, you should consider your family, but unless they plan on footing the bill(and even that can be a pain in the butt) do what makes you two happy. I would do it all over again the same...I loved every minute of it.

Didn't have one but know quite a few people who have. They all say they are so glad they did and do not regret it at all.

If you want to keep it small, I'd head for Italy or France or something. If you do the Caribbean, lots more people will find it "easy" to get there.

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

The destination wedding/casual reception can seem like "We didn't want (to pay for) you at the wedding, but come bring us presents anyway". You have to be careful how you word/present everything.

Yeah, that would be my concern. Good thing I'm not getting married any time soon! haha

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

I think that's a really good point too. I'm in a wedding this year where we all have to buy out bridesmaid dress and shoes (obviously). Plus we all have to pay to fly to the destination (not far but it's still about $250/plane ticket) plus stay in a hotel for 3 nights. All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party! I just can't afford to do all that! Plus we have to buy gifts for the bridal shower and wedding. We calculated that without the bachelorette party it'll probably total about $1500/person in the bridal party for everything. That's a little out of control!

I must be missing the bride gene, I have no desire to do ANY of this if i get married.

:eek: :eek: Two words: GO.JUMP.

Oy!
 

France is too prohibitive for destination weddings, as are French territories and islands. I looked into it as my first option(since I'm a French teacher), and there is a 40 day residency requirement. As romantic as France may sound, it's a pain in the butt to do. You'd be better off going elsewhere in Europe first.
Italy is much easier...looked in to that as well. =)

Well we eloped, then had religious ceremony...

So for the religious thing, we never asked for presents, but folks brought us stuff they thought we'd like.

Then, my mom is psychotic, and we visited her ~4 months after the religious ceremony... She called herself having a "welcome home party" and said no presents on the invite... Folks still brought presents... They asked us what we wanted. Since I had no FHA Bridal Registry, I just told them Home Depot or Lowe's or Costco gift cards... I'd even do Walmart and Target cards...

That's how we got those ceiling fans in our house.

Ironically, my best friend and maid of honor was unable to attend my mom's party due to family issues. But she called me to ask what time was the reception--and I said like an idiot, "it's not a reception". She said, "yeah right"...

I think you have a nicely dressed event (if you do it that way) at one of the local gaming casinoes, buffet style and a room. No matter what you all do, folks will bring some kind of gift. Tell them you can't carry things and you'll get gift cards...

But you should register for those assholes that have to follow ettiquite... If you do, do what you both like... Or do donations to your favorite charity. A lot of older couples or 2nd+ marriages are doing that.

For what its worth:

None of my friends who have had destination weddings regret it.

Most of my friends who shelled out house downpayments to pay for traditional wedding and reception, no matter how wonderful it was, wish they'd taken the money and eloped/destinationed it.

It is YOUR wedding. You guys do what you want to do.

So, you need to visit the area if it is in this country or find a "friend" who is from that town you will be in the destination. Some stuff cannot be done over the phone.

You need to think about using the local ecology. It's cheaper, like the flowers and the kinds. And since your doing somewhere that is humid, you better forget a chiffon dress--too hot. Then your hair can be done up in a way that handles humidity.

To cut your costs, have several venues of activity selection for your guests.

Then no matter what you do, your relatives will show up. All family A-C-K a fool... You can plan, you can decide, but families are psychotic with these things. Even if they threaten you... They just ack a fool.

The other thing is you get married outside the US is you have to be up for anything. They will lose your baggage, on purpose. They will have all kinna crazy delays. Lose paperwork, then find it, they make you see someone else that's on break...

So your best bet, if you are already are crazy and you are just starting, do a JP in the states, and have a nice ceremony at your destination/honeymoon...

A travel agent might help, but I would want one specializing in destination weddings. Or if you make "friends", you will have a more cultural wedding, but you will make some really good "friends" that will give you the shirts off their back... You will get memorable freebies and it will be incredible.

I read somewhere that you should get insurance, in case you actually do have inclement weather.

And folks giving gifts: That's why you do a monetary registry or a charity registry. Then folks are forced to adhere to your desires. Otherwise, if you both are young, you should register for big ticket items.

Then have a reception somewhere later, sometime later.

Lots of folks do that...

Thanks
 

Beach
 

One of my coworkers is going on a cruise in May. I believe his niece will be getting married on the cruise... so they are all really excited.

I've had a bunch of girlfriends have destination weddings in Vegas, and they turned out to be really beautiful weddings.

I think if I ever got married I wouldn't go the 'traditional' route because it just seems way to stressful and not worth all the $. I'd rather have a smaller, more intimiate gathering.

If you want sand, Hawaii or Carribean.

If you want location with little chairs, Wedding Bowl in La Jolla, CA

Nice beach wedding in the morning hands down: Lincoln, Oregon or anywhere on the Oregon Coast. But you are limited on EXACT TIME & DATES.

I didn't do a destination wedding, but part of me wishes I had. There are a couple of advantages. Your honeymoon starts immediately because you're already at your honeymoon destination, and (hopefully) you won't have to put up with too many obnoxious relatives and friends of your MIL that she insists *must* be invited even though you've never even met them, because they won't make the trip.

(Can you tell I don't like my MIL? ;) )

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

Aww. I bet it was beautiful.

Married????

I never thought I'd see the day. j/k Congrats!

Our wedding is coming up. And his family still acts like they dont' understand what's going on. What part of limit your guest list do you not understand? The best part is knowing that I'm doing exactly what I want to do and no matter where I take the wedding, he's coming with me! :D

This is exactly why we fled the country, ran all the way to Jamaica. The family alone is 95 people that we would have had to feed. And at the end of the day, when everyone is nice and full with big bellies, my bank account would have been deflated. No thanks.

I swear there should be a category for people who you haven't seen/talked to in years. They shouldnt be invited.

This list should include:
the tax lady
the pastor of our church (he doesn't know my fiance's name and he's gone to that church his whole life)
extended relations from the country

And your parents' co-workers from 10 years ago.

Thank you! Had my mom had her way, it woulda been the 400 guests wedding with half the people I don't know!

Uhhh I was NOT trying to feed a bunch of freeloaders I didn't know!

Which is why I did the Las Vegas thang! We had 30 guests

firecracker, you are getting married in my birthplace :D

I actually find destination weddings to be selfish, unless it's just immediate family invited. Most of the people I've known who've had them seemed to think it would just be fun to, say, get married on a beach in Hawaii, yet expected all their friends and family members to use their vacation time to fly there for the wedding. They didn't think at all about their guests and how sad they would be that they wouldn't be able to share in the special occasion. But mostly what I don't like about them is that they're a passive-agressive way of UN-inviting people to your wedding. You would like to have all those people at your wedding, but you don't want to pay for it, so you invite them all to your wedding in Hawaii knowing that most of them won't be able to make it. All so you can say that Yes, you invited Brother's Friend Sally, but she didn't couldn't make it.

My advice for people considering a destination wedding:

1. Invite a small number of people so you don't have a bunch of friends feeling obligated to go or sad that they can't go.
2. If you're doing it just because your guest list for a home town wedding would be too big, just CUT YOUR GUEST LIST. Get some balls. No, you really don't have to invite ALL of your cousins, even if you're Irish or Italian Catholic. Chances are a lot of those family members wouldn't be able to make it overseas for a wedding anyway, so what's the point of leaving town? Take a look at the guest list and set some guidelines for deciding whom from each side you will invite. My opinion: if you won't recognize/know them in the receiving line, they don't have to be there. Just have a small wedding! You can do it! Really!
3. Elope.

Then again, having a big wedding can be selfish...


Why we did the destination wedding:
I had NO desire to go back to Virginia to have a church wedding. We are not religious and I stated before if my mom (or his mom) had their ways we would have the mass church wedding--not gonna happen

I suggested doing Peace Arch Park on the US Canadian border (near his family). He didn't want an outside wedding.

We looked at each other and said "Vegas baby!"
We didn't have to worry about keeping folx entertained.


We almost eloped. We got our license there during a trip in Jan 2001. We were both thinking "let's do it" but we didn't relay to each other what we were thinking.
When we told his mom we were gonna do Vegas, she got huffy and said "Well I am not going". We had 2 words for her:

"don't go!"
She did wind up going. My mother was all about losing her "Vegas Virginity"! :)
One person who should have been there wasn't...that is a whole 'nother talk show!

Everyone who was there had a blast. It was my aunt's last vacation before she passed away in the summer of 2002 from cancer :( I brought a little joy into her life

So if some of us are selfish, so be it! I have no regrets!