my recruitment experience so far
 

hey im a freshman rushing at a large midatlantic school. i wanted to share my rush experience so far.

Round 1: open house
friday night
pink - they were okay, nice girls, didnt really click with the girls i talked to
green - didnt like at all
purple - liked and knew some of the girls
teal - absolutely loved!!!! my favorite sorority met the president who said she had heard about me from my cousin and later told my cousin she loved me. still keeping an open mind tho

saturday
blue - talked to one girl the whole time and conversation was a little dead. lots of awkward silences
yellow - liked the girl i talked to but they lost social priveleges on campus
orange - heard theyre not popular on campus but liked the girl i talked to
red - liked them even though they seemed a little fake
white - hated. did not fit in with the girls at all

sunday morning got invited back to:
pink
purple
teal
blue
orange
red
white

sunday afternoon:
pink - really connected with the girl i talked to. she lives in the same town as my roommate and worked at my uncles restaurant over the summer. did greek week with my best friends frat
purple - really liked. the president kept coming over to talk to me and at one point i had three girls around me. talked to probably 8 girls and saw two girls that i met at the beginning of fall semster.

i go back to teal, blue, orange, red and white later today. really excited to go to pink and red. want to end up in pink, red, purple. will update when i get out of rush around 10:30 :) please offer your opinions!!!

Have fun!

wise advice from ksuviolet06. heed it.

Very true, and teh fact that she is the president does not mean that she has more influence in membership selection.

The president may have LESS influence as she may not even cast a vote.

Since this is deferred recruitment, I can see how you would have opiniosn already about some but I do caution you to keep an open mind. If you are keeping one, it isn't showing through in your thoughts you have submitted here.

Since you have some strong negative comments, I would not reveal the groups names later. Should you become a new member of any fo the groups, your comments here can come back to haunt you later.

teal - LOVED! def my top choice
blue - really liked it this time. the girl i talked to first round wasn't a good representation of the sorority .. talked to a girl in my major and met a bunch of girls
orange - nice girls but couldnt see myself fitting in there
red - loved them today. they are not fake at all it was just a rumor. really liked all the girls that i talked to. have some friends in here. second choice def.
white - gave them a second chance but still couldnt see myself fitting in here.

glad you are keeping your options open. continued good luck!

I'm probably in the minority, but I don't think the comments are overly rude. I personally don't feel PNM's should "cough up" to what the houses are at the end. (Mainly because the PNM's are sharing their story with their opinions. We might not always agree but we aren't her and we don't know what she is seeing. Or even how she is feeling. Unfortunately in today's society people tend to take things much more personally, so that's why I don't care if they "list" what house represents whichever code name). Just my opinion. :D

The good thing is that she is (from the sounds of it) keeping an open mind. It sounds, to me, that she is aware of the rumors and isn't letting them effect her decision.

got my invites back for the third round: philanthropy

got invited back to:
teal
red
orange
pink

good for you- are you able to attend them all, or did you have to decline some invitations? when is the philanthrophy round?

philanthropy is tomorrow friday feb 16 and saturday feb 17. i can attend all 4, the max is 5 but i didnt get invites back from 5. my top 2 sororities are still in the 4 i have left. is there anything you guys reccommend saying that would let the girls know that im really interested in their sorority that may help my chances of getting invited back for preference without sounding obsessed?

Honestly, just continue being yourself. If you were to start being overly "OMG I LOVE YOUR SORORITY SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU INVITE ME BACK!" the sororities would get kind of creeped out. My best advice is to just keep smiling, be genuinely interested in learning about the different philanthropies, and be attentive during conversation (you don't want to send off rude vibes by looking like you aren't listening to someone).

Also, keep and open mind about every chapter you're visiting.

i mentioned this before but i wanted to know if this helps me at all .. my cousin is an active in my top sorority .. if i've made it through to the third round(philanthropy), would you guys feel bad about dropping a senior active's cousin or giving her a bad comment on her review?

No, especially if she thought she had a great chance at joining just because she's a legacy. You are your own person, not an extension of your relative and if you don't mesh well with the chapter, I won't hesitate to drop or make a bad comment.

no i definitely dont think im getting in just because i have a family member in my top choice .. i think i really clicked with the girls and a lot of the girls have said they had heard about me from my cousin and were excited to meet me .. im just really stressed out with classes and rushing and other things that i need a little bit of comfort and wanted to know if this helps me in the least. i know everyone ends up where they belong but ive heard this so much im starting to doubt it and think girls say it just to say it.

For the most part, when people say "you end up where you belong" it really is true. The thing is though that "where you belong" doesn't necessarily mean your top choice. Often PNMs think that they belong in their top choice when it doesn't really work that way.

As for having a cousin in a sorority you like, I'd have to echo what Centaur said. It's great to have close friends or relations in a chapter but when it comes down to it, it really means diddly. Unless you're a legacy (and I'm not sure about other NPCs, but in KD a cousin is not a legacy) extra thought isn't given to relations. It all comes down to whether or not you fit with the chapter.

I don't mean to be overly negative here. I know recruitment can be stressful. Unfortunately, there really isn't much comfort to be found since you can never know for sure what's going to happen. The important thing is to keep an open mind about all 4 of your remaining options.

Good luck with the rest of recruitment! I hope you'll be happy in the end.

Very true. We had a girl come through rush two years ago that we STILL refer to as Alpha Phi Stalker. She knew EVERYTHING about us, it was pretty weird. Funny thing is that I think she actually ended up pledging another sorority. But still, I agree with KSUViolet, just act really interested, ask questions, and it's OK to say something like "I really love it here" as long as you're not repeating it constantly or something.

Be genuinely excited about their party. Compliment them on their party, decorations, etc. and let them know that you can really feel the sisterhood of the group and what a great thing that is. Tell them how happy you are that you are back today and that you have met some wonderful women this week. Let them know how exciting it is to hope that soon you will be participating in activities and how you can't wait to get involved. Continue to ask good questions. A good one to ask and show interest is 'why did you go XYZ' 'How did you decide'? It should provoke some good discussion and shows great interst on your part.

I agree that you don't want to be rabid about the exitement, but show enough to let them know that you are genuinely interested in their group without saying those exact words.

Good luck!!!

Most of the advice we can give you is all a matter of opinion. For instance, the above, to me personally, would have been weird to hear when I was an active. I mean, maybe it you phrased it something like "everyone here seems like such good friends" it might sound better, but saying you can "really feel the sisterhood" sounds strange to me. Say what you actually believe or think, don't be a cheeseball or stalkerlike. Don't say something you think they want to hear when you don't believe it yourself.

I will also echo what has been said above. Having a cousin in this group means little to nothing. Judging from the number of times you've asked about it, it seems like you're hoping to rely on it. Rest on your own laurels, don't think you have an "in". Your cousin only has one vote. It takes a lot more votes than that to be extended a bid.

I would express my opinion as needed. I wouldn't care who she knew.

And to add to that, without knowing membership selection processes of any group other than my own, it might take only ONE sister who DOESN'T wan't you to eliminate you from consideration. So, keep four choices open and be true to yourself and say what your heart says (and avoid cheesiness at at all cost!)

Good luck.

I would not feel bad AT ALL. My chapter has dropped chapter sister legacies at least three times. Chapter sister legacies as in they grew up in the same house which is a lot closer relation than cousin. The active sister got over it and her sister found a home in another sorority in all three cases (and we always make quota so national office is fine with this as long as the VP Recruitment files proper paperwork)

We've already established that you are probably not a legacy. You are equivalent to someone in the chapter having a good friend go through. They know more about you than other PNMs, which means that they will be better able to determine whether you are a good fit for the chapter. If something needs to be said, it gets said.

I am glad that you have more than one choice remaining that you like! Have fun tonight!

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=83501

The advice given to you in that thread is helpful and I hope that it answers any questions you may have.

It sounds like you're still keeping an open mind about the other groups as well. I also wouldn't mention that you're a tie to another group in other rooms because that may come off to them like you already decided that it's that one or no one. (I accidentally mentioned my half-sister's chapter in other rooms and got cut HARD the next day--I guess people assumed I was going there? Oy.) Good luck!

went back to the 4 i had left today and yesterday.
went to pink and teal yesterday.

pink - cute not as good as the last time i had been there. was paired with another rushee and a girl in the sorority. the girl i was paired with was socially akward and couldnt carry on a conversation. didnt like them as much as i had in other rounds.

teal - LOVED AGAIN!!! im obsessed. seriously. talked to 6 girls who were super excited to see me and i already know ive been invited back for pref. accidentally slipped out, will confirm tomorrow morning when i can tell for sure which 3 im invited back to. had the best conversations and girls kept slipping things like next yr we can or this summer we want you to live with us. loveeeee them. deff still on top by far.

went to orange and red today.
orange - didnt really like. their philanthropy craft was cute but the girls i talked to i didn't like very much. really cant see myself there at all.

red - liked a lot. still my second choice. really liked their slide show and i was paired with two girls in this sorority. if i dont get a bid from teal im hoping i can get one from red.

You might want to be careful about what they're saying. It might have "slipped" or they might have wanted you to come to Pref, but only tomorrow can tell. Also, a lot of what they said could be considered dirty rushing.

Not to mention the fact that pref invite lists aren't figured out until AFTER the parties!

I'm glad you really like Teal so much! Hopefully it will work out for you!

But I do want to echo what everyone else said that nothing is a guarantee until the bid is in your hand. We had a girl a few years ago go through rush, we all really liked her and she was one of those "it" girls that every house wanted. She had a cousin in another house, which we knew, but we were happy to see that she seemed to have an open mind and when pref night came she went to us and her cousins' house. On bid day she got a bid from us, not her cousins' house. Obviously nobody knows for sure what happened but I'm assuming she wasn't cut but it was just a numbers thing. She probably wasn't as high up on their list as she had thought she would be and their house had made quota by the time they got to her name so she got her second choice (us). She came to bid day but cried the entire time, then left before the bid night party even started. Her cousin even tried to pusuade her to stick with it for at least a few weeks and told her that we were a great house but she absolutely refused to come back. She rushed again the next year and that time she was dropped from every house because they all knew what she had done the year before and none of the other houses wanted to waste their time when she obviously just wanted her cousins' house. Her cousins' house had been turned off by her attitude towards us, and her cousin had graduated, so they didn't offer her a bid either. She ended up transferring mid- semester that year and I never heard what happened to her.

So anyway, I don't want to scare you but just don't assume that you're in just because everyone tells you how much they want you to be their sister. Unfortunatly that's part of rush, all the sisters will tell you how much they like you because they want you to keep accepting their invitations either until bid day or until they decide they don't want to invite you back anymore. Keep an open mind towards the other houses and just remember that anything could happen on bid day. Most importantly, I know you said you really like red also but deep down if you know you would only accept a bid from teal don't list other houses on your bid card. I know everyone advises against suiciding but it really hurts the sisters in the other houses if you don't want to be there. But with that said good luck and I hope you get what you want!

Also, although membership selection for each sorority is private, you should be aware that it's quite possible no one member knows what the other members think about you. Take what they're saying with a grain of salt.

I need a TUMS waiting for her to post again!!!

this morning i had invites back to teal, pink and orange!!!!!
went to teal and pink so far. going to orange at 7:55.

ranking them in this order deff:
1. teal
2. pink
3. orange

may not rank orange because i wouldnt accept a bid from them.

Good luck with everything!

You know, there are some people that definitely try to sugarcoat everything in their stories on here. While others may not think so, I find it mildly refreshing that you're so straightforward! I hope everything goes well for you!

YAY! Good luck, and I'm glad there's a couple on your list you really like!

i'm sorry, but that kind of thing doesn't "just slip out," especially more than once. i would be wary of their methods.

i'm not trying to break your self-esteem or claim that they dont truly like you, but i have seen girls get very hurt because of dirty rushing. happens every year at Ohio State, and that chapter usually has a lot of girls depledge anyway.

again, if you honestly feel like it's right, go for it. we can't assume anything, positive or negative. but what i can say is this is all too familiar and shady to me. i call it like i see it.

now that i have my warning out of the way, i want to say good luck to you sweetie, and i hope everything goes well!

ooh ooh, anything yet?

wow, I am so impatient, haha.

.....