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PinkBabygirl10's Informal Sorority Recruitment Thread
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Well, I'm guessing that accessories is struggling because they don't know how to rush. It may not be an overall reflection of their sisterhood, and you might get a totally different impression at informal.
If you have the option, I'd recommend you give them another try simply because you might be surprised. If all the groups do informal, it would seem to me that you have a good chance at one of your top groups. Most groups are pretty serious about who they invite to pref and they will likely be very happy to see you again. |
What Alphagamuga said. I'd try to go to as many parties as I could fit in--you never know which rumors are right and which aren't. Go in with your few favorites, but keep an open mind about the others. When you get a chance to narrow down your choices and options, start concentrating on your favorites that stood out in the fall and during informal as well. Good luck!
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you can maximize your odds by attending parties at the maximum number of sororities you can fit into your schedule. try to give each group a second chance-if you then feel the same after seeing them in an informal setting, you don't have to go back and can concentrate on the ones that have become your favorites.
please keep us informed.good luck!! |
I would definitely give accessories another try. If they are a new group, they may be trying to use rush techniques that simply don't fit them - they are probably still going through a trial & error period. Also, don't let your roommate's being a member put you off. There are going to be girls you don't like in EVERY sorority, no matter which one you join.
I'd try out mascara and perfume, too, just to see what they're like. As for hairspray, though, it sounds like where there's smoke, there's fire. |
Are these locals or NPC groups? It seems really weird to me that it they are national groups (or international groups) that the GLO wouldn't be looking in to the situation at Hairspray.
The 50% drop from bid acceptance to initiation would be a big red flag wouldn't it? |
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I disagree with everyone saying she should go back to every house. If it was formal recruitment I would say yes, but not for informal! If she already knows that she doesn't like the girls in the house and she wouldn't want to be associated with them there's no reason to waste her time and their time going to their event. She said one house hazed and they initiated only half of their pledge class... huge red flag! And she said in accessories that she did not like the girls in the pledge class... since these girls would be her pledge class too she's completely right in not wanting to attend their party. If the only reason she wasn't going back to accessories was because it was small and didn't have a good formal recruitment I would say to give them another shot but since she already knows she doesn't get along with these girls I agree with her that there's really no point in going back.
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I can imagine wanting to be Greek, but I can't imagine wanting to be Greek so bad that she'd have to put up with a house that hazes or a pledge class that she can't stand to be around. |
I wouldn't go back to the house that hazed, but the small group that is new might be worth another look. I think her impression of the girls is just based on her roommate who might not be typical.
I thought rush was pretty fun, so going to events and parties never seemed like a hardship. Individuals on both sides meet new people and enhance the reputations of the groups they're in. It's not a waste of time unless you are sure that you'd never accept a bid, and the group doesn't see it as PR. (Even though I only joined one, some of my positive feelings about other groups were formed during rush.) OP: I'm a little perplexed about a campus on which everyone does informal. It seems like some groups would already be a total. What's the deal at your school? |
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A system like this usually develops because all or most of the chapters are at or near total. Also, the panhels are really flexible with total, adjusting it depending on the strength of sorority membership numbers from year to year. If the number of women in the chapters at these schools all hover around total, chapters never really get the chance to go very far over total during FR. With women transferring/going off campus/graduating each semester, it usually leaves all the chapters with at least a couple spaces to fill. It's very hard to stay above total for a long time in this kind of system (but relatively easy to stay at total). At larger schools with more women going through recruitment, this kind of system is far less common. |
Thanks for the information. I was especially confused because quota last fall at this campus seemed to be 24, and if that were the case, it seemed to me that each group would have around 100 members. At that size, it seems like it would be a traditional quota and total kind of place.
But as I'm learning, different campuses (campi?) are really different. |
First off, in "accessories", the girl she's referring to and that pledge class went through in the fall and are already initiated. They will NOT be her pledgesisters - I don't know where that assumption came from. And if they were - so what? There's no rule that you have to do everything with the girls you pledge with the whole time you're active. If there was, I most certainly would have quit after a semester.
I wouldn't go to the house that hazed - I didn't, when I was rushing, because all the girls looked like Tonya Harding and scared me - but the OP seems to object to the fact that they're the "rich girls" as much as the hazing factor. Alphagamuga - it's entirely possible that the group was way under total and quota was something like 10 and they picked up 14 open bids because they had that many open spots. It happens all the time, particularly in Northeastern schools. |
Best of luck to you. I joined my chapter through informal. It is a more relaxed environment, but in some ways the lack of structure can make it stressful for the PNMs (wondering when you will hear back from the group and things like that). Just be patient and have fun at all the different events!
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Good luck, keep an open mind and don't let the groups know how you feel about the other chapter! |
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Good luck, Pink! As others said, avoid any chapters with a known reputation for hazing! (And should you join a chapter that tries to haze, get the heck out of there and report it to the university and the sorority HQ-- they should not be doing that if they are NPC chapters -- and hazing is 100% against your university honor code. Most states have also enacted laws against it!)
Like the others, at least give the smallest group a try. They may just be new to rushing and are finding themselves-- could be a good opportunity to establish a new organization on campus! But in the end it is your choice-- try at least one party though because you may have discovered the best-kept secret on campus and love these girls. And then again, you migt not. But if you have the room in your schedule, I'd investigate every available option if you are committed to pursing Greek Life (minus the group who has been known for losing 1/2 its new member class...) Whatever you decide, maximize your opportunities and go into this experience with an open mind. Keep us posted and I hope you get what you want. I think its great that you have developed relationships outside of recruitment with sorority women and you are coming into this process with a good sense of who's who and what's what in each chapter. Best of luck! |
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OP, like most have suggested, I would give all the chapters (if possible) a shot, with the exception of Hairspray. The 50% drop rate is bad, no matter the reason...something's up. Also, coming from a chapter that went through some numbers issues in the past, I want to encourage you to at least consider the smaller chapter..."numbers" is a vicious cycle that can continue in a chapter for no apparent reason other than it being a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can have a chapter full of beautiful women but sometimes numbers will still continue to be an issue. All it takes is one good-sized pledge class to change things, but so many women don't understand that or want to give it a chance. |
Hey Pink! Your thread is awesome so far; lots of detail but with discretion too! :D Well if you want my $0.02, it's this: If you didn't feel comfortable at all and have multiple reasons for why you don't see this changing, don't force yourself to give a group another chance out of guilt or pity. Wherever you join, you will be a member of this org. for the rest of your life and should be proud to call it home. Don't get me wrong, an open mind is key. But go with your gut. And avoid the house that you suspect hazes. I agree completely with whomever made the comment about where there's smoke, there's fire. Best of luck with recruitment! Please keep us posted :)
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Pinkbabygirl- sorry this turned into a debate! Since you're the only one who knows the exact details just follow your heart and if you don't think a chapter is right for you don't feel guilty about not going to their event. But if you think this house could grow on you then definitely give them another chance! Good luck and I hope everything works out for you! :) |
PinkBabyGirl,
I agree with the post above me...just follow your heart. It shouldn't matter how popular or big the sorority is; as long as you feel comfortable in a house and you could see those girls as your sisters, then that is the house you should go with. When I went through recruitment, I trusted my heart, and I have not regretted my decision. Good luck, have fun, and keep us posted!!!:) |
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As for my example, my pledge class consisted of 5 girls. I found many other people among the remaining 40 sisters to hang out with. I was super close with some of the girls in my (college) class, not at all with others. And like I said...there are going to be sisters in EVERY sorority you don't like and don't want to hang out with. Unless the sorority has 5 girls in it. If you say there isn't anyone in your chapter you don't like, you're either Pollyanna or lying through your teeth. Plus, there's a BIG difference between the OP's original "I don't like this group because my roomie is in it and I don't like her" and the updated "there's all sorts of gnarly stuff I can't go into and I was treated badly during rush and there was an incident with my roommate." #1 I'd say you're being silly to reject the group because of one girl and because the group is new and doesn't know how to rush. #2 maybe you have a valid point. Oh and one chapter's total would not be increased without the others increasing - she may have meant they have more open spots due to graduations or disaffiliations. |
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Anyway, good luck with COB and keep us posted! |
OP, you are wise to try to keep to the positive stuff. Don't feel like you have to defend your decision to us. If you know a chapter well and don't like the girls, it's perfectly fine not to go to their parties. You don't have to explain or justify.
Many of us, however, know of chapters who PNMs didn't consider only because they were small, or new, or awkward at rushing, or had one girl they didn't like. Sometimes groups' reputations aren't based on what most of girls are actually like, but based on size or how selective they appear to be. What you said in your first post allowed us to project our goodwill and hopes for those kind of small chapters onto Accessories, but it appears that Accessories has other issues. Again, don't worry about convincing us. Go to the ones you like! Good luck! |
total is a figure that applies to all the sororities,and is usually a set number that is the same for all the sororities. the exception is a few campuses, where it seems that each chapter has a different total, sometimes based on the amount of members they can house.
you do not have to give us any reasons why you don't want to go back to all the sororities. what you have said makes me think that you have given this a lot of consideration and have not made snap judgements. those of us who suggested that you visit the maximum that you are allowed, were thinking that you could increase the likelihood of receiving a bid, but you certainly do not want to join a chapter where you would not be happy or more importantly, where you might be hazed. i admire your desire to be discreet-it shows maturity. honestly though, i did not pick up in your original post that this group has a reputation problem-when i read it, i thought that it was just a typical new chapter, having growing pains and struggling with their first formal recruitment. i think others might have assumed the same thing, because a lot of us are very involved alumnae who have worked with colonies/new chapters. that is why the internet can be both a blessing and a bane! you seem to have your head squarely on your shoulders and know yourself. good luck!! please keep us posted. |
Don't worry if we suggest something you don't like, we're going off of a different set of knowledge and you don't have to correct us. I think you're going about things in a good way and you'll be just fine. Sometimes we just blow smoke anyway :D
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PinkBabyGirl10...this is informal! You certainly don't have to attend any chapter's events if you don't want to (for any reason). :)
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Pink, sorry if you thought I was arguing with you, I was actually refuting the views of the poster I quoted. Honestly, all I got from your first post was 1) you didn't like your roommate and she was in the sorority 2) they were new and small and didn't know how to rush. The only "reputation" I thought you were referring to was that they were small and therefore lame-os because of their smallness. Personally, I and many other posters consider these very bad reasons not to give a group a second look. If they're a bunch of mean nasty sluts that sniff coke off the nearest flat surface and a goodly number of them have been bitchy to you, that's a different matter.
I know you want to be discreet and that's great, but sometimes it can prevent you from being clear. :) That's OK, it's all good in the hood. |
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The way your school does informal is very different from the way my school does it. The sororities who were participating in informal sent out special invitations to a just few girls, and we could arrive when we wanted to and leave when we got ready. I'm very interested to hear more about your informal recruitment :)
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if all the pnms in the session that you are attending leave at the 50 minute mark, then it might look odd if you stay around. plus the sisters might be busy getting ready for the next group to come. you might get a better feel for what to do when you are actually at the event.
good luck to you!! |
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On the other hand, if you're invited to stay at a chapter and you're having a good time then by all means stay. Just go with the flow. Good luck! I'm getting excited for you. :) |
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The 13th will be here before you know it. I know you're excited; take this week to indulge in laying your recruitment clothes, get a pedicure and dress up on campus-- you never know who is watching! You may also want to stop into a few campus club meetings; there may be sorority women who are members. It will also be a great topic of conversation at recruitment when they ask if you are involved on campus: you can tell them that you've started looking into opportunities and attended X, Y and Z recently. Channel that excited energy into a positive and good luck! |
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(That's what my mamma always said.) |
i agree with you, i would hesitate to dress in sweats for a recruitment party, but you might not have to dress as if you were going out either. maybe something in between, a dressy pair of jeans, with heeled boots, and a nice sweater-assuming you are farther north than i? ask your panhellenic office if they can suggest the appropriate outfit for open house. good luck!!
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I would "overdress" like you said--it's always good to stand out by looking super cute. If you go in dressed like everyone else (you know how many black dresses show up to pref days?), it's hard for you to get noticed or be memorable sometimes.
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For my first party, I wore a nice pair of jeans, a button-down striped shirt and some preppy brown boots (they went with the outfit I promise). I was relieved to find my first party had all the sisters in jeans too. Some girls showed up in sweats and I was a little shocked. I can't remember what I wore for house tours but for skit I definitely dressed up, wore nice black pants, a white cami and a pale orange overshirt. Bear in mind this was in February in Massachusetts. My advice is start nice and dress a little nicer each day.
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