Almost64's Recruitment Thread (at an SEC school)
 

Hey Ladies,

First off, this forum has been SO helpful for me! Great tips! I knew nothing about sororities before this. I go to an SEC school with delayed rush, so it doesn't formally start until January, but we've had practice rounds and such to let us know what the process is like. I'll say the name later (I'm not sure if it's allowed?), but it's probably pretty obvious where I go.

I came to my school not really sure if I was going to rush. I ended up not really making many friends from my dorm or from classes, and I really want to make genuinely good friends in college and not just have the ones I had from high school. So I'm rushing.

Both of my parents are European and were educated in Europe and have no idea about Greek life and think it's just about boozing up. Likewise, they really don't have any non-immigrant friends, and I didn't really know anyone in a sorority before coming here. Thus, I have NO RECS. Bad idea? Probably, but what can you do? To be honest, I just can't compete with all these girls that get numerous recs for ALL sororities and have legacies to several chapters, but we'll see how it goes. I have no legacies, no recs, and heck, I don't even really know anyone IN one.

Chapters on campus (hah given fruit names):

Apples
Raspberries
Pears
Cherries
Blueberries
Oranges
Peaches
Strawberries
Grapes
Plums

From fall rounds, I got a feeling of chapters that I really liked (raspberries, peaches, plums, and cherries), but I'm not going to really discount anyone because fall rounds were so short (only 15 minutes in each house).

Anyways, wish me luck! I definitely need it. They say that everyone here who "maximizes their options" will get a bid somewhere, but rush is soooooo competitive here. I think sororities are a great way to meet people and make lasting friendships, so we'll see where I end up!

yay im excited!! another rush thread!! good luck and be yourself..we all look forward to ur story!

&uotI believe, if I'm not mistaken, that if you contact the HQs of the sororities at your school, they will find you an alum in the area you live who will meet with you and write you a rec. So you don't have to go in at a total disadvantage.
Also, it's lovely to see another immigrant go through. Where are you from? My parents (mostly my mother) don't understand greek life either and my mum was pretty much convinced it was just like you see on tv.

Good luck! Have fun!

Recs
 

I assume this is Vanderbilt. I would also talk to the people in the Vanderbilt Greek Life office. I think they could give you some advise. Don't wait, do it ASAP as rush is comming up very fast.

Yep, this is Vanderbilt!

And eek, I forgot who asked, but my parents are German.

Anyway, I'm really mad at myself now for not looking at recs sooner! I thought about trying to get some earlier in the year, but my Greek Ambassador (other schools' equivalents of Rho Chi, I think?), said that they really aren't necessary and it really doesn't hurt you if you don't have them, blah blah. Ah, the process was soooo confusing. Then she said that if a chapter wants a rec for you, they'll get one and that it's not your responsibility, which I didn't really understand but was too much of a shy freshman to ask about. So I was like "ok dont have to do anything," and then later found out that EVERYONE seems to have a whole portfolio organized.

Thanks for the links! I'll try contacting them, and I guess we'll see if anything comes out of it. I'm cutting it pretty close, maybe too close.

/mini hijack

Hahaha..sorry I just had to say that i'm proud of myself. Even though I pretty much know nothing about SEC schools, I knew that almost64 was talking about Vandy! YAY *applause* for me! lol.

/end mini hijack

Don't count on the chapters getting the recs for you. Now that you know how to go about it, do the leg work and get them yourself. Call it showing initiative and that you want to be there.

I really, really hate it that many PNMs get told this! They said the same thing when I registered for rush, and dummy me turned down several recs because I assumed that they weren't necessary. After all, the brochure Panhellenic sent out said it was so! Not everyone is coached practically from birth on how to have a successful rush and it's not fair to assume that PNMs will just automatically know what a rec is or how to get one. At some schools it doesn't make too big a difference--everything ended up OK for me--but on other campuses it's a completely different story. Please don't feel bad that you didn't secure recs earlier...how were you supposed to know?

I wish Panhellenics would be a little more forthcoming about this kind of thing instead of just saying, "Oh, don't worry! If they like you enough, they'll get a rec for you!"

FYI, it is considered bad form to announce at which school a PNM is rushing, if she does not mention it.

FYI: I didn't not announce the school before the PNM mentioned it. Someone else mentioned it...and the PNM affirmed the school before I said anything.

Good Luck Almost64!

I can sympathize!!! I am also rushing this spring and I'm as nervous as can be!!!!

I added you to the list

If she was really concerned about that, she wouldn't have mentioned the following:

-SEC
-Deferred rush

yeah, I really didn't care all that much about making the name of the school public, I just wasn't sure if it was OK to say it. After all, there have got to be at least 400-500 girls rushing, and I haven't given out my name or anything like that.

I think that in my case, the school is an important part of how my rush will turn out. Since the SEC is notoriously competitive, my lack of recs, legacies, new outfits for every single round (don't have the time to go shopping for 7 new outfits!), etc. will probably make an impact on my rushing.

I dunno, maybe someone else at a school similar to mine can learn from my experience/result? haha, like....learn not to trust a single word that comes out of your GA's mouth. I wonder if when she said "oh yeah, don't worry, I didn't have a single rec and I didn't have issues getting cut from tons of houses because of it," she was just lying?

There could be some truth to it.

Some alumnae write recs without ever telling the PNM about it. I did.

When I was a high school teacher, I wrote many recs for my students, even those who did not tell me if they were rushing. I just sent the recs to their school's chapters (and passed their names on to my friends in other sororities so they could do the same).

We all know that women's minds change quickly. "Oh, everyone in my hall was rushing, so I signed up at the last minute!"

Good luck!

Me too. I'll scan the registration lists from our Alumnae Panhellenics and I'll see some familiar names. If I know the family well enough, I won't need to call for additional information.

Official Panhellenic policy and official policy for many sororities is that the sorority will obtain a rec for the woman if one is needed to give her a bid. So your GA really wasn't lying to you.

Of course, official policy isn't always what is actually happening.

I'm so excited to see a Vandy recruitment thread and I can't wait to hear more about your impression of the sororities so far!

On the issue of recs, I will say that Vandy is not as competitive as other SEC schools. While there are a handful of sororities which essentially require them in that a woman just won't be on their radar without one, those groups are in the minority. Unlike most other SEC schools, Vandy students come from all over the country and most do not have a ton of recs. I know it seems like everyone has them and everyone is a legacy, but that's just not the case! While they certainly help, and may be necessary for a few chapters, it won't make or break a Vanderbilt recruitment. Your ability to make a connection with the women you meet during the process is much more important!

Good luck!

That is wonderful!

Denise

Were you born here? I too am a first-generation American. The fact that both your parents grew up and schooled in Europe, and (I am guessing) that your family is very immersed in your ethnic culture, might be very interesting to many sisters.

Americans tend to think that Europeans are "cool". Especially if you speak another language. I would definitely embrace your culture. I am not sure how much of a part of your life your heritage plays, but in my case, I grew up very Italian. It's part of my identity. Obviously, I didn't show up to rush waving the Italian flag and speaking Italian, but if it is part of who you are, don't let that hold you back.

The suggestions that the women here have given you is great. I am in a non-NPC sorority, so I did not face the rec issue, but reaching out an meeting alums is a great idea, regardless. Good luck, and I hope that you find a sisterhood to "come home to".

Just remember, discretion is extremely important in these threads.

Good luck, Almost 64! If rush is in January, you may be able to still some recs. sent. It almost certainly won't ruin your rush not to have them, but it does help. If a group really needs one, and they love you during rush, they can probably get one.

Highjack about recs:

Does anyone know why the official word from Greek Life about recs is so often wrong? Why don't they tell the girls up front that it's good to have recs for as many different groups as you can?

Anyone who works in greek life, can you tell us?

My mistake, I quoted the wrong poster, sorry.

See my post above.

Sorry, 33girl, I didn't know you were an official greek life person. Thanks for answering.

I had read your post, and I knew that it was true in the sense that if a group is really interested, then they will get the recs. I don't think it covers the cases that I'm afraid might occur: in which a group might need to release a bunch of folks early in a really big recruitment, and they might use recs to help decide.

I don't know that this has ever happened, but I can imagine that it might.

I also don't think it's a good plan to put the groups you want to join in the position of having to look for recs for you. When Greek Life offices kind of put out the word "don't worry if you don't have recs" in a recruitment for which lot of girls do already have recs, I think it puts some the girls who accept the official word at a disadvantage right off.

What does your office advise PNMs about recs?

I can only speak for UGA, but...
girls are NOT released ONLY because they do not have recs. PNMs may tell you that they are sure that was the reason they were cut, but that is not the case. I was a recruitment counselor this year and I spoke to many girls in other sororities about this. While most sororities do require a girl to have a rec before they can offer her a bid, they also have alums, advisors, officers, etc. who's job it is to find rec for girls during recruitment by calling alumnae from her hometown. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that they WILL find you a rec if they want to offer you a bid. At least at my school...

What you said is definitely true. The problem I have with what Panhellenics currently tell PNMs, though--at least, what they told us--gave the impression that recs weren't worth getting because we didn't need them. I know the official policy, but I think they should also add something like, "...but it's good to have them if you can get them."

Ok, so looks like I'm not going to get any recs. I'm having to take care of some family business which involves a ridiculous amount of traveling (and no long amount of time in one place!), and my schedule is so unpredictable that I have no idea where/when I'm gonna be in any one city to make an appointment. So....that's out.

So when rush starts, say XYZ is interested in me and wants a rec. They have alumni at the house during rush so that they can just say "Hi, this is [my name], why don't you guys talk?" and then she'll write a rec? If so, wow, I wasn't aware that anyone other than active sisters were at the houses during rush.

alumnae are not supposed to interact with pnms during parties. if a sorority wants you badly enough, they will find a rec. for you,if they want to work that hard. it is an unspoken thing-you will not even know about it.

Thanks, Georgiagirl, that's good to know.


I knew that they would find you one if they wanted you bad enough. I was just afraid that at some groups; if they didn't know you in advance and you didn't have a great rec, then you might not make it to second round. I'm happy to hear that no one using recs to do releases.

Recs at Vanderbilt
 

Isn't it somewhat silly for the sororities at Vanderbilt to even think about recs? Vandy has become increasingly selective over the past dozen years and now is just a cut below the Ivy League schools in this respect. You would think that just being admitted to Vandy would be enough of a rec.

Now THAT'S silly.

Consideration shouldn't be based on academic record alone. Academic records/standardized test scores are just one part of the individual.

NO. The alumnae aren't just sitting around rush waiting for stuff to do - they are grown women who have lives. The role of alums in rush varies by sorority, but I can't think of any who do this. If alums are at rush, they're probably putting out refreshments or something similar. Rush is for active sisters to interact with rushees.

How about instead of jumping down her throat, someone might try explaining things to her. A number of posters have mentioned that "if they really want you they'll get a rec for you". Clearly to someone not familiar with recruitment, this is a curious statement.

Anyone care to explain this to her?

Sorry if you thought I was curt, but I'm a little frustrated. The OP was advised that regardless of what the GL office says, it would be to her benefit to obtain recs on her own, and it just seems like she's coming up with excuse after excuse to blow it off.

Since MS is private, I don't see how you could possibly speak for any sorority other than your own. I'm sure as a Rho Chi you have a lot of great insight into recruitment at your school, but I wouldn't think you would know about MS in other chapters.

In my experience, some sororities at Vandy need a rec to offer a bid as more of a formality than anything else and in that situation will have someone write one based on the PNMs credentials, even though they have never met. I would think that in that situation the chapter will have someone write a rec and not having one before the process begins is not going to be much of a barrier to getting a bid.

On the other hand, there are those sororities that rely very heavily on recs as an introduction to the PNMs. At Vandy, these are generally the more competitive sororities and based on the recs they received in the early fall, they have made a point to get to know the PNMs they are interested in throughout the first semester, which is really the biggest benefit of having recs at Vandy. Personally, I have not seen or heard of many of these groups actively seeking out recs during recruitment. I’m sure it happens, but I do not believe that it’s the norm.

By the time recruitment rolls around in January, the more competitive sororities already know who they want and its not very common for them to suddenly meet someone new that they are interested in. If you do not already know the women in these chapters by now, odds are unfortunately pretty good that you won’t make it very far with them during recruitment. It is in this situation where not having a rec really hurts, but in all honesty, I don’t think getting a rec in now would help much since so much of the benefit is the introduction and having that first semester to meet the PNM and find out more about her. In my opinion, its just not going to be much help to get a rec in a few days before recruitment begins.

While not having recs for some of these sororities may limit your opportunities, there are PLENTY of groups at Vandy where recs are not a priority. Don’t let worrying about recs stress you out at this point!

I didn't think your post was curt, but I would like to point out that I'm not blowing the recs thing off. Considering I haven't been very happy with my social life during the first semester (haven't been able to make very many friends or acquaintances), I'm not taking the rush process lightly because I know that it's important. In addition, this is the only time I want to go through with it. I'm not going to rush and then just....not sign a bid card or something, and try it again another semester. I just want to try it once and for all. So, I'm not blowing it off, but I DO have other priorities in my life that I need to deal with when I have time off from school that do not include rush. I have family stuff that needs to be taken care of, and frankly, it needs to be done now rather than when I'm back at school and have a full class schedule to deal with.

I mean honestly, I've had enough of this whole rec crap. If a sorority is gonna be that high maintenance and finicky to where they absolutely must have a rec and personal letters and such in advance in order to extend me a bid(and based on what I saw at fall rounds, it only seems like a few are THAT competitive), then it's probably not the house for me. I mean, during rush, I'll be standing RIGHT THERE. What could a house possibly learn about me from reading a rec written by some random alum that I met with for 30 minutes in a Starbucks that they can't learn just by talking and getting to know me? Ugh, it's extremely frustrating.

If I had known sooner that really, it IS a good thing to have recs, I would have gotten them. Frankly, I just don't have the time between now and rush (nor can I really prioritize it over other issues I have to deal with) to attempt to get them. So I'll go in with no recs, and that's fine with me now. If I get cut from all the houses, that's fine and that'll be my fault.

Anyway, I'm sorry that you're getting frustrated. Just remember that aside from the ones on campus (who, because of dirty rushing allegations, can't even TALK to me), I don't know a single person in a sorority. I don't come from a long line of women in XYZ. I don't know how the process works. I don't know what goes on. I didn't even know that alumni were at the houses at all during rush. This whole thing is new for me, and the Rho Chis that are assigned to try to tell you what exactly goes on really don't do anything more than repeat what's said in the 3 page rush booklet. So please try to be patient with me. It's frustrating for me, too.