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Assigning Bigs/Littles
Hey Guys,
I am a newly elected president of a colony and am wondering how your chapters work assigning big/little brothers (sisters). We've tried a few systems most are haphazard. We're a decent sized colony (45ish) and have a point system in place, I know some houses use this to rank prefs. Thanks in advance! |
Each new sister ranks her favorite older sisters 1-10
Each older sister ranks her favorite new members 1-5 The new member educator pairs the two lists together, trying to pair each with their #1 choice. |
What she said is a good idea.
At our chapter the new girls rate their top 3-5 and the VPNME makes sure each big is ok with that choice. It's always worked out ok. Points could give the actives (or pledges/associates/etc) some sort of preference in case they both rate a guy as number one. It also depends on whose opinion counts more, active or pledge. |
Each new member ranks her top 5 choices.
Each active member ranks her top 5. The VP attempts to match the lists as best as possible. |
with us, we don't rank people because we don't know everyone yet. active sisters first tell the membership director if they would like to have a little. the membership director collects info about the pledges and those interested in getting a little. the membership director then tries, with the information given, to put together who would be best suited as big's and little's. at the first pledge meeting, the membership director will design a way or play a game that will in the end reveal the bigs and littles to each other.
when i pledged...we played this game where the membership director placed an index card on your back, and you had no idea what it said. so you had to ask people around you yes or no questions to figure out what it was. your word went together with a word on an active's back, and that's how you discovered who was your big/little. it was super cute! the next semester our membership director did a thing with song lyrics. |
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When I was a NM I didn't realize we were supposed to rank the names. I thought we were just supposed to submit 5 names. So while I liked my big, she was not my first choice.
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I couldn't remember the name of the girl who was my first choice for big. Lucky for me I adopted her later! (My big was an absent senior and while she was nice, she wasn't really there for me)
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I didn't get my first choice big, but I loved everyone I listed so it didn't really matter.
The girl I put #1 ended up being one of those "absent seniors", so I think it's good that I didn't get her anyway. My big is a good leader and very active in the chapter. My little and I were both each other's #1 choice so that system worked out great for us. |
my daughter is newly initiated, and i think that her chapter used a novel solution to what could have been a big big sister/little sister problem.
there were more girls participating in recruitment last year(2005) and consequently larger pledge classes than this years. all the girls who were pledges last year wanted little sisters and there were not enough for everyone to have one. at first, the officers were going to use gpa to determine who would get a little sister-the higher the gpa the higher on the list you would be. then they came up with a unique solution-some new members would get two big sisters. my daughter was one of the lucky new members who got two bigs-she was delighted, because she was having a difficult time deciding which of the two girls who ended up being her bigs to list as first. the bigs don't seem to mind that they are sharing one little and they even came up with a term for themselves-they call themselves bigsters. when the chapter i advise was a colony, they randomly drew names out of a hat to determine matches for "crown" sisters-since they were all new members, there could be no bigs and littles. Crown sisters performed the same functions as big/little would have. congratulations on your election and good luck with the colonization process! |
Also, we gave priority to the most recent pledge class in terms of preference when assigning littles over, say, a senior. This worked well, b/c it meant that you got to be a Big Sister at least once, and it was an expectation that the sophomores would comprise most of the Big Sisters.*
*I avoided ADPi-terminology (Diamond Sisters) so as not to confuse. |
The way it was done with our chapter (I was a recent pledge) was that the Pledgemaster would assign our bigs to us, and we wouldn't find out for a few weeks. We would have a week where we randomly got little gifts from our bigs to hint what family we were being inducted into, so we could play detective and figure out who our big was. =) It was tons of fun, and we had a scavenger hunt to find our bigs, and then ate out, and we got to confirm our suspictions on who our bigs were!
I'm not sure how they assigned our bigs to us. The important thing was, our bigs could NOT be people we already knew, so we were getting to know a whole new brother, and I think that helped out a lot, in closeness. Some of the littles/bigs got a GREAT relationship going on together. I became very good friends with a pledge class member, and it turns out that my big was her best friend! =) I'm still developing a good relationship with my big, but I already love her tons, so yay! |
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But yeah, we put down our top 3 active sisters that we'd like to be our big and I'm not sure how they matched us, but it was probably the same way, excluding those who already had a little or were too busy to have one. |
we normally try to match our with someone close to the same major
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We ask our associate members to submit their top 3 choices for their Big Sister. We encourage them to choose sisters that they feel a connection with, would like to get to know better, or someone they look up to. We also ask the members who want to take a little to submit their top 3 choices for littles.
Sisters who are graduating and are the end of their Big/Little Family line get first priority. Sometimes sisters have littles who do not finish the Associate Membership process. Then the Associate Member Educator matches the AM's with their picks. It is rare that the AM's don't get paired with their first choice, unless their first choice isn't taking a little. When I pledged my first choice wasn't taking a little, but it worked out because my Big is her little! |
The PM usually assigns littles but who gets them is determined by how long you have been active and then by age.
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in our chapter we used to do first come first serve basis. when i took my little we basically all just ran up to the new member educator as soon as they had accepted bids and claimed them. it seemed to work well, but then last semester we switched to letters. now, to be a big you must submit a letter to the new member educator as to why you want to be that person's big and and why you would be the best candidate. it works out pretty well.
Kat Alpha Sigma Alpha Psi Psi |
in our chapter the pledge class above the new members are the ones who are bigs so its mostly sophmores and a few juniors. we all submit our top 4 girls to the pledge moms who get the pledges top four girls and try to match them up as best they can. it usually works out well but this year they screwed it up. they tried to be more "fair" with who got who, but it ended up with some girls having two littles and other girls having to share one pledge. and they made generally bad matches all around with some girls not getting a little they preffed. sorry *venting* tonight is the big/little revealing though and i cant wait!!! i love my little!!!!!!!!! :D |
45 guys?! that's a COLONY at your school? Wow.
Well we have the candidates (pledges) pick their top 5 choices for big bro....then we have a chapter meeting about it and pretty much just ask "you were his first pick, want him? no okay, 2nd pick you want him? okay cool" etc etc. works pretty well for us |
We do the matching system, with pledges only allowed to rank members who don't have a little (usually sophomores or informals)
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Each of the new guys puts down their favorite 5 brothers in order.
Each active brother puts their favorite in order. Pledgemaster then figures it all out. |
my chapter is small, 25 guys, and were selective of who we extend bids to. avg 5 pledges a semester. so we try to match up bigs and lil's with who has similar personalities, who will bring the most out of each other and who is a good compliment to whom. Our VP Member Ed usually decides but runs his choices through eboard. we have a little unspoken rule not to match a pledge with the brother that introduced him to the chapter so we can get the associate members to create ties with other brothers. i suppose picking bigs and littles is gonna get harder for us as we grow larger and not everyone is as close as we are now.
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the new member class writes down 5 and the potential bigs write down five, but ultimately it is up to the VPNME to assign everyone, its her job to know all the new members and find their perfect fit! i had never ever talked to my big before but after getting to know her, i absolutely love her!! so i think it works out pretty well :)
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First we ask all the current brothers who would take a little. Then we tell the new members to put down their preferences from 1-5, and the current brothers do the same. I was in the first class to take a little brother and in my opinion it worked out great. There really is no perfect way to do it, and some one is not gonna get their first choice every time ( I actually didnt) but it still can work great however you do it. The big brother/little brother (or sister) part of greek life is great. Even though I graduated last year I still keep up with my little brother, just check in and see how things are, and see if he needs anything. It really is an important part of the whole experience in my opinion.
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You know, we do the whole ranking business too, but my boyfriend's fraternity was quite a bit different. They just went in scroll order: the most senior brother got to decide if he wanted a little bro or not, and if he did, he picked who he wanted. Then the next guy, and the next, and so on.
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New members record their year, hometown, hobbies, majors, and top 4 (and why)
Brothers do the same. Match. About 1/2 are easy--having each other as number ones. There are always a few quiet new members--you can use the other info to ask brothers if they'd be interested. We tried to limit certain brothers with low GPAs or ones who were graduating (I took a little brother my graduating semester--but he had previously stated that he's fine with it and most of our alumni--including me--live near the college anyway). |
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We've also done the "You bid him, he's yours" method because most of our recruiting is from close friends outside the chapter. This wasn't as effective... but it works, and encourages recruiting. If you want a little, you've gotta bring them in with this method. |
Our chapter does the matching system. NMs rank who they want as their big, then the VP calls the members to see if they want that person as their little.
There are a couple problems with this system... in my case, I knew who I wanted as my big, and she wanted me, so when I ranked 2-10 I wasn't really thinking. Well, when they called the sister she was sleeping (it was really late!) so instead they matched me with my #2 (who did pick up her phone). I like her, but we are definitely not sole mates. I like the idea of giving the pledge class before preference. There are cases in my chapter where sisters can have 2, 3, even 4 littles depending on how long they have been in the chapter and if they were given 'twins' one or more years. While I think that bigs/lils should be paired up with someone that they like, there's no reason that one person should have 4-5 littles and another person have none. We are all sisters, anyway. The more popular sisters will always be 'requested' more often from the new memebrs so we have to start disappointing NMs :) |
I think that any system should work, but you'll have failures no matter how you choose. Sisters who think they like each other one month may end up not speaking the next. Sometimes having sisters choose their own bigs or littles may cause resentment if the popularity contest gets out of control. If this is a consistent problem, it may be in the chapters best interest to change the policies. Either way, people will end up ticked off!
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This is something you shouldn't do right away - you should wait at least 2-3 weeks depending on the size of the chapter & the amount of time the pledges have had to get to know the sisters & vice versa. The person you think is super cool on bid night might not be as good once you get to know her (or to be more positive, you might find someone else you like more). |
Bigs
I don't really remember why or how, but I was the one who matched bigs and littles in my sorority. Gosh after readng this, I hope I did an ok job. What I do remember is that a vast majority of new members requested the same active to be their big. Usually this wasn't necessarily the most active member. It would be more honest to say the most requested big was the best rusher or best sales person which is also undeniably a valuable talent and art. I remember keeping party girls together and Bible study girls together and hoped for the best. There was a semi bid matching process, but it wasn't balanced. We matched bigs after about a month and had pledge classes and quotas of about 31ish. Larger chapters would be tough. I think I'm pretty good at matching people up and have fixed up many a married couple.
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My chapter tried a lot of different things. We tried assigning littles, we tried doing the ranking system, and we tried letting the Bigs decide. Now that I am an alum and can look back, I think that they all had their flaws. The assignment system was the WORST because no one got who they really wanted and there was a lot of bickering and favoritism. It was just a mess! The ranking system was ok, but it always got messed up and someone always had their feelings hurt. And letting the Bigs decide wasn't always a good way of doing it either.
I think that now that I am kind of removed from it, it would be best to have some sort of anonymous application system where people are matched based on their interests and what they have in common. |
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In our chapter you first needed to seek out who wanted a little. It was somewhat of a time and financial commitment.
As an active, I remember ranking my top 3 (I got my #1 choice). But, I don't remember as a pledge ranking or asking for anyone. In fact, I really didn't know my big. That is not to say I didn't like her, because I did. We just didn't know each other very well and were not real close. |
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My sister-mom was a very good friend of mine even before joining the sorority, so it was only natural that she was to be my sister-mom. Still, I don't recall the collegians ever asking us who we wanted as our sister-moms at the beginning of the pledge period. |
I remember as a pledge we made a list every week of who our top five choices were for a big for our pledge masters. I think it just was a way for us to start thinking about it. After four or five weeks the sisters made their list and the match was made. Honestly, the sisters who made the attempts to be around the most, got chosen as big sisters. My husband's fraternity assigned littles, starting with seniors who didn't have bigs. I don't think there is a right or wrong way. We both have similar relationships with our bigs/littles currently.
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Each new member writes down her top 5 choices and then the potential big does the same, then we match them in the best way possible according to those lists
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I have mixed feelings about the whole matching process for the big/ little thing. My chapter had it set up so the actives would put down three girls and the New members put down five sisters they would like. However, sometimes our Exec board would decide that girls who both matched each other should not be big/ little because of stupid reasons. This happened to me.
I was upset when the whole situation happen, but I am know longer bitter, in fact I am thrilled it turned out this way. While the three girls I put down are lovely girls, I now cannot see myself being their big. Because of the whole situation that went on, most of the chapter had their own "informal" bigs and littles. I have two little sisters from such a process and I am still close them, and I don't think this would have happened if I had gone through the original process. |
My chapter assigns (per the first request of actives) new members a temporary big on bid day (a heart sister) and this semester, the VPNME assigned/matched new members with a second temporary big (dove sister) halfway into the new member period.
My chapter does a ranking and matching of bigs and littles. Everyone who wants to be a big participates in "speed dating" with the new members (obviously new members have plenty of interaction before, but just in case a new member is unsure of who she wants, or doesn't know everyone who wants a little, etc, plus it's a fun activity). The new members and actives who want to be bigs rank their top five and the VPNME and one member from exec (someone who is not taking a little) match them up the best they can. I'd say at least 95% of the time, bigs and littles were thrilled to be matched. One time we had an active who wanted to be a big but her GPA was below what our National says is required to be a big, so of course, she did not become a big that semester. There was some drama, but it's not like there was any favoritism going on because it was a National policy (and if there were favoritism, it'd be going the other way, because the active in question was the little of the VPNME at the time). |
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