Should I rush?
 

Hey, I've been thinking quite a while about possibly rushing next semester, but I have brought it up with my parents and they don't really like the whole idea of me even joining a sorority. I've tried to explain to them that I only want to do it because I want to meet people and get involved in campus life, but of course my parents don't really understand that...they're focusing too much on the typical sorority stereotype.
So, what should I do? Should I just go ahead and rush next semester...or should I not?

Depends.....are they paying for it?

Well, at this point, they most likely would be...of course, I'm also worried about the expenses as well.

My parents weren't too thrilled about the idea of my joining a sorority either. They thought that GLOs were all about partying and getting drunk. So, the deal was that I had to pay my own sorority dues and keep my GPA up.

I'd say that if you're prepared to pay your own dues (keep in mind that they can be steep, especially your first semester), go ahead and rush. You're an adult.

My parents, especially my mom, was dead-set against me joining a sorority. She had that typical sorority stereotype in her head. My parents also would be the ones paying the dues, but I knew it was something I wanted.

My advice...sign up for recruitment. Explain to your parents what the sororities at your school are--their philanthropies, etc. When you go through recruitment, they should have a breakdown of dues (usually, if not, ask for a ballpark estimate) and then give that to your parents. Yes, the first year is HELLA (lol) expensive, but its totally worth it.

If after you discuss this with them, and they still are adament about not paying for it, or whatnot, then you can drop out of recruitment. I know its not the best way to go about it, but that is what I did. My parents saw how committed I was to making it work, and my mom finally told me that it would be something good for me :D

Yeah I was kind of thinking the same thing too...they have said before that if I want to sign up for recruitment I should. They were like "Go ahead"...so I guess I will, and see how it goes.

Ditto with what happened with me and my folks. They agreed that I could go through recruitment as long as I paid my own dues and kept my grades up.

Icicle22: Perhaps you could work out a similar arrangement with your parents? Once my folks saw how happy I was living in-house AND keeping up my grades, they definitely softened their stance and, as a pleasant surprise to me, ended up being active in the parents' club.:)

Well, that would work. My parents can get rather worried about my grades, so it would make sense if I told them that I would keep my grades up. I probably wouldn't mind paying my own dues, since I considered that at the beginning. I would have to work, though, and save my money.

We didn't have houses on my campus, so I'm not sure if this is correct thinking or not, but doesn't living in a sorority house often cost around the same amount as living in a dorm? Of course dues and first year fees are additional factors, but aren't they worth it?

I paid all my fees and dues for my four years as a collegiate, so I guess I don't understand why so many women rely on their parents to pay for it. You're in college now, and an adult. You should be making your own decisions based on what you really want and what you're willing to do to get it. If you really want it, and your parents won't pay for it, can you get a job?

Actually, living in a sorority house is much more cheaper than living in a dorm...at least according to my college. And yes, I have compared dorm and in-house prices in order to prove this is true, and it pretty much is. I am not worried about that right now because it's suggested that pledges don't live in the house for the semester they're pledging in.
But I am worried about the dues, and have given much thought to how I'm going to pay them...I could always get a job (though I'm not looking right now) and pay them myself. After all, I am an adult. Although I haven't REALLY talked it over with my parents yet, so I'm not sure if they are willing to pay or not.

If your parents are focusing on the stereotypes maybe you should show them the rules NPC's (and I am sure most locals as well) and campuses have that prevent sororities from being about the stereotypes. Many of the national websites have sections specifically for parents that may address issues parents may have with Greek Life. See if you can show your parents national organizations' standards on alcohol, hazing and academics. Often campuses have even stricter rules. Non-Greeks often stick with their harsh opinions about Greek Life but maybe it can help a little bit.

Yeah, that does seem like a good idea...it is worth a try.

What is so sad, is that many people have misconceptions about Greek Social Organizations.

What they see on the local TV news is not the only and total things about Greeks.

Greeks on their respective campi have to have house prices very compariable to not only dorms but apartment rental.

Granted, when you add dues in it will add costs.

But in weighing out what one gets for it, it is a very small price to pay.

What you get in dorms, a few friends in college. What after?

In a Greek Organization, you have Brothers/Sisters for life.

If nothing else as was said, sign up check it out and see waht it is all about!

Oh, not to mention, having fun, learning how to lead, learning a little about a small business, and doing something for the good over others in charity events.

I was the first one in my family to go to college and the only one who has ever been in a Greek Organization and it was and is one of the most rewarding things in my life. Just ask any He/she on GC!:D

Unfortunately, there will always be stereotypes about every group of people and social sororities and fraternities get a bad rep from those that don't know much about the Greek system. I understand your parents' concern, particularly because they'd likely be funding your experience. However, if it's important to you, spend some time researching sororities, the role they play in your school and community, their philanthropies, etc.
A lot of times, opposition stems from ignorance. If they don't know any of the merits, of COURSE they're going to think sororities are all about partying (which they definitely are not).

Sit down with them and tell them why you're really interested. Go online with them and show them the websites of chapters at your school --or national websites! They can read about all of the GOOD that sororities do.

If you need someone here to list the merits (so you can get input from sisters), let us know!

Also, if they're concerned about grades, talk to them about how sororities can actually HELP with grades. Of course, sororities provide strong social networks so there are more opportunities to go out and party, hang out, and so forth, but all Panhellenic sororities require a minimum GPA to stay in the sorority and many require mandatory study hours. Sorority membership provides a great incentive to keep up with grades because you can go on academic monitoring or probation within the sorority if you don't keep them up...so basically, if you like going to socials and all of those great perks, you're inspired to work hard!

Also, sorority meetings and events can teach you a lot about responsibility, etiquette, networking, and dealing with groups of people. You can take on officer positions and be a role model and a leader within your organization and university. I have definitely grown tremendously since I joined my sorority.

Of course, we DO have socials and we do have a lot of fun! But that's not all that the sorority is about...that's only a part of it...so make sure your parents know this.

If you try really hard and show them the great things sorority life has to offer and that still doesn't work...try taking them to an information night so they can learn more about it firsthand.

If nothing works, work and pay for it. Trust me--it is definitely worth it. I always hear fellow Greeks saying, "If I paid for my friends, I surely didn't pay enough" and for me, that is so, so true.

Good luck and I hope you do go through recruitment. Let us know what you end up doing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp (Post 1363968) What is so sad, is that many people have misconceptions about Greek Social Organizations.

I can add to this: My oldest daughter was the Philanthropy Chair for her sorority for 2 years. She initiated a campus wide "Cookout for Cancer" with the proceeds going to St. Jude's. This along with one other fundraiser raised over $20,000 for St. Jude in one semester alone. When she was interviewing and applying for jobs after graduation (her degree was PR/Marketing) this was the thing that most impressed potential employers--not her great GPA or the fact that she was in several honoraries. So not only does sorority membership give you opportunities for philanthropy and leadership, but also real experience that can transfer to the job market! I remember also that she was contacted by one company for an interview (she had posted on Monster) because "whoever" saw that she was a DDD and he had some sort of DDD connection!

1. See if your folks would be willing to have some friends over for dinner. Don't let them know they are a sorority. If they can win over your parents, then you should have no problem joining. We did this with one of our brothers.

2. Find a relative thats a greek and get them to convince the folks.

I second this! I am also an officer for my sorority and it constantly impresses everyone that hears about it. I'm also working toward a PR degree and whenever I speak to anyone in the PR profession (those I intern with, etc), they always talk about how the sorority connection and the position within the sorority will get me far in my intended career.

Whether you're going for PR or medicine or education, the sorority experience will prepare you for it in some way. It teaches you so much about yourself and others--you are definitely a stronger person for it.

If anyone doesn't mind, what are the merits?

While I agree that the experience of being an officer in a sorority does help prepare you for a career, I have to say that it does not always pay off to have it on your resume. I work in PR and a number of my coworkers are GLO members, but I do not list it on my resume anymore (I did when I first graduated and didn't have much work experience) because I know that many people DO have a bad impression of "sorority girls." Though other Greeks may see it on my resume and be more inclined to consider me, there are many other people out there that might reject me because of it. It might be different in other parts of the country, maybe in the south it's more of an advantage?

I think membership in a sorority gives you what you are looking for. I had a bad first semester (my school does formal recruitment in the spring) and was looking for close friends. I was skeptical because I didn't drink when I was a first-year student (and still don't) , and I found a chapter that accepted me for that (and still does). Conversely, if you are looking for a bunch of girls to get wasted with, I'm sure you can find that too. It depends on who your closest friends are in the chapter and what you decide to participate in.

As for the money issue, getting a job over winter break would be a good way to put a dent in those first semester dues. It really depends how against it your parents are. It sounds like they're only skeptical/uneasy rather than "absolutely not" about it. Showing your parents that you are mature and responsible (ie by getting a job and by getting the best grades you can this semester) will show them that you are serious about sorority membership.

Good luck and keep us posted with whatever you decide!

Yes. I can't speak for you Northerners, but when I was applying to medical schools down here, one of the main things my interviewers asked about was my sorority experience. One of my interviewers was an AEPi at UGA, and we spent the entire interview time plus twenty extra minutes talking about being greek at an SEC school. I got in.

One of the main reasons on why I'm considering joining a sorority is because I primarily want to bond with others. I'm an only child and have few friends right now, so I really don't get to bond with much people as I'd like to.

I hadn't really thought about it this way, but then again we live in the DEEP south!

There are some men here in our small southern town who were all members of the same GLO at the University of Alabama back in the day...one of them had an idea for a company and talked his "brothers" into backing him. The company grew and seriously almost all of the men who were involved in this save one were these same brothers....the company sold for 35 Million dollars. Those guys were in their mid thirties.....when my own brother starts dissing fraternities as being a waste of time I remind him of these guys:)

I was wondering if anyone here has any helpful tips for rushing. Like as in what and what not to say, what and what not to do, etc. Stuff like that. Can anyone help?

Do a search and look around the Recruitment forum. There are literally 100's, possibly 1000's of threads on these subjects.

IMHO - alot of this depends on whether your parents support you - or - don't support you - or - ARE TOTALLY AGAINST IT - or - are indifferent but just are advising against it -

I say this because if your parents are TOTALLY AGAINST IT and they will "work against" any idea of you being greek, then you need to work on it at home a little bit more. Because, AS much fun as it is and, as much as you CAN get out of it, there are some things that might not be perfect; and if your parents are TOTALLY against it, then when you have an argument with a sister, (petty or not) your parents could go back to "I told you so" mode. And, you need to have them at least "respect" the idea of your choice to go greek.
I hope that made since, I mean, yes, you are a young adult, but if your parents are still "flipping the bill" then they kind of do get a vote (like it or not) and I am sure that EVERY sorority sister knows of another sister that "had to" turn their pin in because of something at home - and if anything goes awry at home (and your parents HATE the idea of you being in a sorority)I am sure that the first thing to be "cut" would be your sorority dues.

I think you should have a full sitdown with your parents over break and show them the greater good. Sororities have strayed away from the typical "Animal House" behavior and are more then ever active in community events and fundraising.

Hope this helps
<3 nicole

Yeah, I pretty much know that I have to talk with them about it.

I'm just rather nervous about doing it.

The more you prepare, the more you can counter any concerns they may have about Greek life.

If your mom and dad are worried your grades will drop, you can talk about how sororities have mandatory study hours/weekly study breaks/tutoring programs with older sisters or whatever you have on your campus. Talk about the disparity between Greek GPA and overall campus GPA (if it's higher).

If they're worried about money, lay out a specific plan on how exactly you're going to pay for sorority membership.

If they're worried about you partying, you can tell them that you could easily find people to party with, even outside of Greek membership.

Tell them how excited you are about the philanthropies and how much time Greeks on your campus give to charitable causes. Get excited about all the things you're looking forward to in a potential sorority membership, and if their fears are alleviated, hopefully your enthusiasm will catch on. Good luck! :)

I think they're pretty much worried about all of the above, but nevertheless, I hope I can try to convince them that sorority life has good benefits.

When I started college my parents weren't major anti-greek, they more just didn't understand it (neither of my parents went to college at the age of 18-22, they went when they were in their mid thirties, married, with 3 kids, so GL wasn't really an option for them). Anyways, I decided to rush, had a great time and obviously was offered a bid.

They supported in "their" way. It wasn't the financial aspect though. It was hard, but I was determined.

In all honesty, my grades falling had nothing to do with ADPi, but more me 1) not going to classes 2) not studying and 3) not going to classes. In fact, joing ADPi made me want to do better because I discovered (although not until like the end of the semester) that I had sisters in every single class.

It really wasn't until about 3 years ago that my parents started "respecting" the sorority. (Long story short: I went to CA to meet some ADPi GC sisters. One of my sisters, who I didn't know other than the net, offered to let me stay with her. My parents thought that was such a great thing for her to do since she didn't know me. I told my parents "but I'm her sister"). Now, they still really don't "get it" but they definately "appreciate" it. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense or not.

Anyways, the whole point of me saying this is to say, I understand where you are coming from, since my parents didn't really support my decision to join GL.

I would make a list before talking to your parents. And then read from that list. Maybe even encourage your parents to visit the websites to all the chapters on your schools campus.

Do as much research about the benefits of greek life as you can, and hopefully you can win them over before next recruitment :) As long as you're prepared to counter their concerns, that's all you can do.

I definitely second this. You do NOT have to be Greek to party, especially when you're a girl.

That's true...even some of the people I know, who are non-Greeks, drink and go to parties.

I have found that with my parents its always best to have sort of a presentation prepared. I had to convince my parents to let me rush. In my "presentation" I told them what rush would be like and the pros/cons of joining a sorority. I researched online to find out the questions that parents usually ask. Here is the link to the UK Greek parent guide. It's from 2005, but the questions and info at the end should help you with some of the problems your parents may have with joining a GLO.


http://www.uky.edu/StudentAffairs/Gr...tguide2005.pdf

You might want to see if there is something like this on your school's website that is more specific to their rules/policies.

Back many moons ago when I went through rush, my mother did everything in her power to discourage me. I had no intentions of pledging. I was the HS geek, had few friends and knew that "those" girls would never want me to be a part of their organization. I only went through rush so that I could go move out of the house a week early since rush was the week before dorms opened. I had planned to go to the required first day parties, drop out of rush and spend the rest of the week on the beach. Well... best laid plans..... I ended up pledging, loving it and have been the President of my Alumnae Association for the last 3 years.

My parents came down to "Pledge Presents", met the sisters and really liked what they saw. When my sister started college it was almost a forgone conclusion that she would rush whether she wanted to or not. She never pledged, Mom realized that every campus is different.

Today, Mom is right there supporting our philanthropic fund raisers.

Good luck

DaffyKD

Yeah...I was thinking of making a presentation myself, which would show the pros and cons on being Greek, as well as the costs of housing and being a member.