men make me sad
 

are all men judgemental?

out of all the guys ive dated ive dumped maybe 3 for cheating...the others find other women and make up excuses like sorry christin youre too skinny, or sorry but this just isnt working out.i mean im a good listener, i dont talk to much, im sweet...in my opinion...and yeah im not even that small because im skinny but short...id rather look like i do than be like super ooberfat i suppose....anyway im starting to doubt that theres still decent men out there...this is becoming a sad world:(

No. Perhaps you attract a certain type of man because deep down you're insecure and unhappy.

Well that certainly sucks.

You're right. There are no decent men in the world. They all want ooberfat (LOL by the way -- I think that's the awesomest pretend word I've ever seen) bitches.

You just haven't found the right guy yet. I doubt they're dumping you because you're short or thin. Weren't you short and thin when you started dating them?

Chances are, they just realized it wasn't a love match, and had to think of something to say to break up. Hang in there!

I find it funny that you listed your physical stats in your profile as if someone's going to ask you A/S/L?

You're only 18. How many guys have you dated? Maybe you should take a break from dating for a while. Get to know yourself, who you are, what you want, and what you have to offer. That way the next time you will date someone you like instead of dating in order to avoid being alone. I'm not sure if this applies to you, but I have seen several young women do this.

I'm sorry you've dealt with dishonesty and cheating. But I'm disturbed by the listing of "I don't talk too much" and your body type as reasons to consider yourself a good catch. Do you think men are looking for women who are seen and not heard? Beause if you try to play that role, you will continue to be used and walked all over. Why don't you try becoming the best woman you can be for YOURSELF--confidence and purpose will attract the "decent" men.

Sadly, I have met men who seem to be like that. Even though they do not say sexist things explicitly, if they constantly compliment your looks while their main criticisms of you all have to do with the way you talk (loudness, interruptions, directness, big words), who knows if they are looking for some subservient little damsel who is seen and not heard indeed.

A/S/L, cup size and pics plz! Only then can I tell you if you're worthwhile.

Christin,

Seek professional help. You are only 18 years old. Not all of us are in your age group. A few of us are LCSW. You need help.

GC Hospital Chief of Medicine
Dr. AKA_Monet

Be patient. 18? You've got plenty of time.

Yeah, take advice from PrettyBoy. His name certainly doesn't make him superficial or judgmental. :p

(Haven't picked on you in a while)

LMAO. DSTCHAOS, leave me alone.:p

Girl, you're just 18!!! If you know like I know, you'd be happy being single and lovin' yourself before you go and latch on to somebody.

heres my question...how come when things dont work out its always the guys fault.

Why surely you cannot be blaming women...why we're all perfectly rational, and communicate properly with our SOs and we're never overly emotional. Nor do we twist words and manipulate men via guilt trips. I can't believe you'd suggest such a thing!

Cosign


Also stop catering to them and start focusing on taking care of yourself. Be yourself, speak your mind, etc etc and don't just tell them everything they want to hear.

I hope that was a rhetorical. Mature women know how to take blame.

If your asking for opinions or lifter uppers(pretend words), I think you should focus on other aspects of your young life. Men come a dime a dozen so have fun with them(not too much). Stop being so serious about relationships with guys and become serious about working on yourself, but have fun while you do it.

Because there are too damn many women (especially young women) out there who believe this ridiculous culture of manbashing, "your friends are always more important than a guy" a la Sex and the City. You're absolutely right, and I hate it.

No, you shouldn't dump your friends for a guy or put up with things with a guy you wouldn't put up with if he was a female friend. However, that doesn't mean holding the guy to some standard he can never meet.

What standard is that? How do you know he can never meet them? When he doesn't meet them and claims it's because he can't?

I feel like you are spelling banana and don't know when to stop. :p

No, I mean thinking the man has to be perfect and doing things like freaking out because he forgets your one month anniversary - and then turning around and letting a girlfriend get away with not repaying a $100 loan. Or something of the like.

Oh--well generally speaking there are things you will tolerate from your friends but not from your man and vice versa.

As far as expecting a man to be perfect and stupid stuff like celebrating month anniversaries (LOL :)), grown adults with an ounce of sense know there's no such thing as perfection and there's no point in sweating the small stuff. However, we also know that people will take as much from you as you allow them to if they believe you will not hold them to a high standard or reciprocity. To much is given much is required.

I'm not sure where that "always" is coming from. The thread-starter said that she has been cheated on and dumped. Almost everyone responded by challenging her thinking.

(How did Sex and the City promote man-bashing? :confused: )

It's not OK to dissect everything your man does with your friends and make fun of it. Not to mention that some sexual things should be between you and your partner - continually airing what you do in bed with another person is disrespectful. If that show had been four guys talking like the girls do, it would never have gotten on the air.

We challenged her thinking because she's 18 and worried about men as if she's had enough of them in her short life to be able to speak on it; her descriptions of herself make it look like she's either joking around or sadly mistaken about what life's about; and her pattern is finding men who cheat on her which probably means she's looking for the wrong things in a mate.

I don't think that's complete true. But if it was true it's probably because what women say about men doesn't have much of a substantial impact on society (beyond pissing some people off or giving people some ideas). However, since men are the ones in power, what men say about women perpetuates patriarchy and male hegemony through mysogyny and sexism.

I beg to differ. :) But I don't feel like debating today so I'll just leave it at that. You have your opinion, I have mine.

I guess I don't see women complaining about their sex lives as man-bashing. Disrespectful to their partners yes, but not man-bashing. When men do this I don't see it as sexism. And I think the appeal of the sex talk was the shock-value of women speaking frankly about sex as is commonplace for men.

I know, I challenged her too. That's why I was confused by the poster who asked why "its always the guy's fault," when everyone on this thread was challenging the woman complaining, not men.

Well DUH. ;)

I think he's referring to the poster's "men make me sad" as if it's the men's faults and not hers.