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-   -   Need some Advice (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=81437)

Collegegirl822 10-11-2006 02:18 AM

Need some Advice
 
THANKS SOO MUCH!! :)

KSUViolet06 10-11-2006 03:20 AM



Since you depledged another chapter, you could possibly be cut heavy depending on your school. Some schools just aren't open to the idea of taking girls who have depledged other chapters. For example, a girl came through rush last yr at my school who had pledged another sorority a year before. She got a bid. However, a girl re-rushing at Louisiana State might not have a chance in the world. It just depends.

Also, if you're going to rerush, girls in other chapters might recognize you from the previous year. If they ask you why you depledged, be honest without being degrading to the sorority you left.


Collegegirl822 10-11-2006 03:40 AM

smile

Collegegirl822 10-11-2006 03:41 AM

smile

AlphaFrog 10-11-2006 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collegegirl822 (Post 1336844)
Lets just say my school is not too competitive... this might give away my school.. depending on how much anyone cares to look it up, but only about 8% of girls on campus are in sororities.

You pretty much did give away your school.

Sophs, Jrs, and even Srs routinely get bids there, and I doubt any other group is going to care that you started pledging, as long as you don't badmouth the group you depledged, and are honest about why you depledged.

My suggustion is to go to COB events for the groups that you are interested in, even though you are not eligible for a bid at this time. It will give them a chance to get to know you in a more relaxed enviroment. Look for chalkings on the sidewalks to find out about COB events.

kddani 10-11-2006 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collegegirl822 (Post 1336833)
. However things just weren't working out, some finantial, and personal issues were not "falling into place" so i depledged.

If you are having financial issues with pledging, why do you want to join yet another group?

AlphaFrog 10-11-2006 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani (Post 1336864)
If you are having financial issues with pledging, why do you want to join yet another group?

If this is the school I'm thinking of, dues can vary from $150 to $600 a group. I had trouble swinging my dues, but I definitely couldn't have handled $600.

adpiucf 10-11-2006 01:27 PM

Sometimes depledging can be counted against you, sometimes rushing more than once can be counted against you. It depends on the school and you. Rush again and see what happens. Spend this year saving money so you don't have financial problems, work out your personal issues, get good grades and get involved on campus. Have something to bring to the table when you rush again-- campus leadership and academic honors. Make friends-- getting involved in campus activities is a good way to do this and you will meet sorority women this way.

PeppyGPhiB 10-11-2006 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collegegirl822 (Post 1336845)
also, I didn't leave beacuse of anything bad about the chapter.. it was purely personal reasons. so I have only good things to say about the house I was in.

This type of reason would actually make you more of a risk, in my opinion. I hope your personal reasons have been resolved? If not, what is there to keep you from de-pledging another chapter? If you honestly just didn't have much in common with the women in the first chapter, I would understand that.

AGDee 10-11-2006 10:15 PM

I might also wonder why you didn't return to your original chapter. One of my sister-daughter's had a bunch of things happen during the semester she was pledging (grandma died, broke her foot, had to drop out of school for the semester) and we just held her over until the next semester. Usually chapters can work things out with you if it's truly only personal reasons.

Collegegirl822 10-11-2006 11:03 PM

; ' 0

OrangeJuice 10-11-2006 11:55 PM

I know a girl at my school (a large midwestern college with an extensive greek system) who did that last year and she re-rushed this year. She got to know a lot of the girls in the houses she was interested in. This year, she was a lot happier with the outcome. It was only awkward for her when she visited the house that she depledged, but after that it didn't matter. Just make sure you're not joining for the right reasons.

PM_Mama00 10-12-2006 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1336855)
You pretty much did give away your school.

Sophs, Jrs, and even Srs routinely get bids there, and I doubt any other group is going to care that you started pledging, as long as you don't badmouth the group you depledged, and are honest about why you depledged.

My suggustion is to go to COB events for the groups that you are interested in, even though you are not eligible for a bid at this time. It will give them a chance to get to know you in a more relaxed enviroment. Look for chalkings on the sidewalks to find out about COB events.


How did she just give away where she goes? I can name at least 3 colleges in the midwest with very non-competitive systems.

AlphaFrog 10-12-2006 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00 (Post 1337552)
How did she just give away where she goes? I can name at least 3 colleges in the midwest with very non-competitive systems.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collegegirl822 (Post 1336844)
8% of girls on campus are in sororities.


That's a pretty spesific #. And I happen to know what college that # belongs to (recently published in an atricle about Greek life).

PM_Mama00 10-12-2006 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1337648)
That's a pretty spesific #. And I happen to know what college that # belongs to (recently published in an atricle about Greek life).


Yeah but it can belong to any college also. Please stop acting like a know it all. Even if you do know what college it is, you do not need to broadcast it.

AlphaFrog 10-12-2006 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00 (Post 1337651)
Yeah but it can belong to any college also. Please stop acting like a know it all. Even if you do know what college it is, you do not need to broadcast it.

Look...she wants to know what her chances are of getting re-bid are after depledging. Those who don't know what school she's at can speculate all they want about what un-competitive means. To someone who went to Bama, UofI may seem uncompetitive, and yet a sophomore who depledged might not have a good chance at a bid there. I'm telling her that I know what school it is, and her chances of getting another bid are good...depending on how she presents herself at rush. If you were in her situation, would you rather have random people guessing (AKA blowing sunshine up your ass), or real information from someone who knows your school?

KDMafia 10-12-2006 05:20 PM

I also came from a midwest school with a non competitive greak system and low enrollment. I know at my school depledging was not held against girls as long as there wasn't a lot of drama associated with it.

If you are interested in trying to join back up with your original chapter then I would contact them first. However, if you would prefer another over them it might not be wise to start contacting them. I liked the advice of going to COB events in the spring, also, if you have friends that are in the other sorority, use them as a way to get your story out. They can let the rest of their sisters know that you were having situational issues at teh time but that it's not about to happen again. If you dont have any friends in the sorority...make some. This is the best way to get to know the sisters and have them get to know the real you.?

Drolefille 10-12-2006 05:23 PM

DOH! Please ignore this. I got my threads confused

deadbear80 10-12-2006 06:43 PM

It really depends on the school. I went to a medium-sized private university with a fairly active greek system. However, it was not uncommon for girls to depledge and then through either COB or the next year's formal recruitment, join a different chapter. I can name at least 2-3 of my chapter sisters who did that. However, I don't know what happened to them when they went to their former chapter during formal recruitment and how they were treated. My chapter never had a girl depledge from our chapter and join another one on campus so I can't tell you how we would have treated them--I do know that we didn't look poorly on girls who re-rushed after depledging a different chapter on campus.

I would see if you could talk to someone in greek life on campus who you trust and see what they have to say.

KerriMarie 10-12-2006 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 1337483)
I might also wonder why you didn't return to your original chapter. One of my sister-daughter's had a bunch of things happen during the semester she was pledging (grandma died, broke her foot, had to drop out of school for the semester) and we just held her over until the next semester. Usually chapters can work things out with you if it's truly only personal reasons.

That happened to one of my little sisters too - she had to leave Kappa, and it was so sad, but she came back the next semester - yay happy times! :) Then I ended up with "twin" little sisters.

EGAOPi 10-13-2006 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collegegirl822 (Post 1336833)
Hi! okay so I figured this would be the best place to post this- I really want some honest advice, here's the situation...

I am a freshman at a college in the midwest, I went through fall recruitment, and had great experiences at two houses, I didn't get prefed at these houses, in fact- I got pref'ed at my bottom 2. I kept an open mind and went through pref. I ended up getting a bid from one of those houses- and accepting it. However things just weren't working out, some finantial, and personal issues were not "falling into place" so i depledged.

I still want to be greek- and I want to rush again. At my school It's not uncommon for upperclassmen to go through recruitment, and get bids, however I'm worried I won't have a chance now that I've had to depledge.

So heres what i need advice on
will the houses count it against me because i depledged?
and
How should i handle the akward situations that will arise during formal recruitment nextfall, relating to my depledging?

ALSO i just thought of this- I still really like my #1 house, should i make an effort to get to know the girls in that house better? or will this seem like i'm only trying to befriend them to get a bid in the fall? Should I let them know of my interest in their house?

THANKS SOO MUCH!! :)

I know that if you explained your situation to your sorority, you may have not had to depledge. A lot of sororities offer financial support, like scholarships for sisters in dire need or accomodatiosn that would allow you to pay your dues on your own terms that you work out with your treasurer. If you pulled them aside and spoke to them, it may have made things easier.
My question is this: if you only have good things to say about that house, do you want to go BACK to that house?
It seems like your heart is still set on your #1 choice, but why would you still have them as you #1 choice when you clearly weren't theirs? Everything happens for a reason and I believe the sorority experience is what you make of it. If a house really wants you and you can feel a connection, even in the slightest, it CAN become your home. I know so many girls that got their last choices and wished they had gotten their #1 choice for so long, but eventually everything fell into place and now, there is no place they'd rather be.
If you miss your sorority, I would talk to them. Meet with some of them for lunch or something and thoroughly explain your situation. You may be able to return to the chapter. I'm not sure if you'd have to go thru recruitment again, but I'm sure they could let you know.
If you still have a pressing desire to join another chapter, go back through and see what happens. Competitive or not, if you're not a good fit, you likely won't be invited to that house--and this CAN be for the best.
I agree with what everyone else said about being 100% upfront and honest about why you depledged. Your sisters are there for you--I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't make arrangements with your previous chapter, but I hope things work out better for you the second time around. Let us know what you do!


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