dropping membership
 

if someone depeldged your chapter, i know that they would be required to return their pledge pin, but would they be asked to return any t-shirts and/or gifts with the organizations name on it that they had received?

Yes.

It's rarely enforced, but some chapters do go and collect the former members pin and sorority memoribilia. Many are too timid to confront the person who cancelled, esp. if they were not voluntary cancellations.

LOL, maybe on your campus. It sure doesn't work that way everywhere :)

No, but I wish we did require them to return lettered items.

So do I! We had a few girls who resigned but still wanted to pretend they were part of the chapter. I'd see them in letters all over campus.

What she said.:)

When my first sister-daughter decided to depledge, she was asked to turn in her NM pin and NM manual as they were property of the Fraternity.

She was willing to give me back the gifts I bought for her, but I let her keep them (it was a photo album, some stationery, and 2 shirts that bore our letters). I had no need for them and I knew that she wasn't going to be sporting them around campus pretending to be one of us.

To be honest, she was a very sweet and caring individual who had to drop because of personal family reasons, and hopefully letting her keep these items reminds her of the fun she had in the short time with the Fraternity.

just to alay any concerns, my question was not based on my daughter.

she is doing great and is very happy in her chapter. she is looking forward to their first big party, "pledge bash" this friday nite. the theme is "the jewel in the crown"-they are to dress in victorian garb, so last week i frantically ran around to thrift stores and consignment shops looking for long skirts and frilly blouses and i mailed her pith helmet(from busch gardens years ago) and a khaki colored columbia shirt of her dad's for her date.

I know of at least one case when "those horribly mean alumnae advisors" were called in to do the dirty work. :rolleyes:

But yes, all was confiscated.

I can't imagine demanding anything back from a depledged sister. (Maybe the pin, but I certainly wouldn't give mine up if in the same situation.)

why not? if you have no affiliation with them, why would you want to keep their things?

my chapter always asked for the items back - all fraternity issues pins, handbook, etc; as well as anything with our name or letters on it. although not easy at times, you dont want someone to potentially misrepresent your chapter by wearing your letters around.

agreed!! and i don't know about other npc groups, but in zta we are told from the getgo that the badge is the property of the fraternity-we "sort of " lease it.

the chapter i advise had the situation once, where an initiated member who was on executive council dropped her membership, and it was heck to get anything back from her-she was seen around campus in a lettered t-shirt, which upset the members no end. short of hiring guido to strong arm her, what can ya do?!?!? why would someone who thought so little of her sisters and the organization want to continue to portray herself as being a part of that org? maybe it was just to tick everyone off?

Does your IHQ refund money for badges, initiation fees, purchased letter items, ect.?

If I paid money for them, I OWN them. End of story.

Now as to whether or not I would want to keep them, the answer is no, but I'd put them on ebay before I just gave my money away.

no, the money is not refunded. i believe that one effectively signs an agreement at some point in the new member period, that acknowledges that the badge remains the property of the organization and if membership is terminated for any reason, you agree to return said badge to the chapter for return to our international office, or if you are an alumna, directly to the i.o.

Do you take away memoribilia that was purchased by the former member

Yes.

I know that Alpha Phi always owns our badges- when a sister dies, the badge must be returned to the HQ, burried with the member, or given to a legacy. We are aware that the badge always belongs to the fraternity. This is why it bothers me so much when I see them sold on ebay!

It is policy in my chapter to return the following: pledge pin, membership certificate, badge, and any items given to you by the chapter which bear the name "Phi Mu" (i.e. Bid Day shirts, bud vases). We advise that any items purchased on your own be given to an active sister, or respectfully and properly destroyed.

When you say depledge, do you mean quit the pledge process? I mean before accepting membership in the organization.

I think you may be right about ticking everyone off, and apparently it's working. Sometimes the only way to battle a mean spirit is to be one. :(

If this member's already initiated, I don't think anyone has the right to tell her she can't wear lettered shirts.

she could wear them as a zta new member for that matter. the only restriction on new members in zta is that they cannot be in possession of the crest until they are initiated.

sorry kay10, just saw your post.

i am using old terminology-old= pledge, current=new member. i am speaking of a new member(uninitiated), dropping their membership before initiation.

Oh. O.K.

I understand getting letters and memorabilia back from an uninitiated pledge, but an initiated member? If she didn't think "so little of her sisters" but rather had to drop her membership for purely financial or personal reasons, would you have tried to get her letters back? What if a member came from another school and was, for whatever reason, not allowed to affiliate into the new chapter? Then would you have wanted to take her stuff away or stop walking around campus in letters?
I just don't understand how a sorority could claim to offer lifetime membership to someone and then remove those privileges in certain circumstances. That doesn't seem like lifetime membership to me? I'm really not snarking here, just surprised.

this young woman made the choice to drop her membership based on none of the scenarios that you proposed, gdifly.while i served as an advisor at the time that this took place, and am fully apprised of the entire incident, i cannot explain any further than that.

greek letter organizations offer lifetime membership to those who want it for a lifetime.

a young woman who transfers from another school is not obligated to try to affiliate with the chapter on her new campus. if she leaves campus #1 and has not started the affiliation process at campus #2, she is considered an alumna, and has all the rights and privileges of full membership, whether or not she affiliates. as far as the chapter not allowing a sister to affiliate, she would still be a member of the national org., just have alumnae status.

most chapters try very hard to work with any member who is having financial problems, family problems, grade problems, etc. to help them find a solution that will solve their problem and allow the member to keep her membership. if the member still does not seem comfortable and drops her membership, they probably would not ask her to return her stuff, with the exception of her badge. i think that the chapter would probably expect her to not wear anything that identifies her as still holding membership in the sorority when she is on campus. if she is no longer contributing to the chapter and adhering to their rules of conduct, she should not be representing herself on campus as still being a member.

If she had to self terminate for the reasons you stated, she probably respects the sorority enough to no longer wear letters since she realizes she's no longer a member. One of my friends left DZ for $$$ issues and she would never have dreamed of wearing letters afterwards, even though she was still friends with all the sisters.

Someone from another campus who doesn't affiliate - I don't think anyone said they were opposed to that.

We're talking about the girls who get kicked out of the sorority because they stole tons of $$$ or hazed pledges or never came to events or were just generally batshit crazy. They didn't follow thorough on their promises to always respect the sorority and their sisters, so there is no reason for the sorority to follow through on their promise of lifetime membership.

Thanks for your answers. I understand the situations where someone is crazy, disrespectful, bitchy, joined for the wrong reasons, etc. and leaves in bad standing. There are a plethora of valid reasons for wanting memorabilia, letters, and badge back in those situations.


However, a person who isn't able to support the sorority financially for her time in college is no longer considered a member? I'm just not grasping this. It's possible that all chapters and national organizations provide plans for girls with financial troubles, in which case I'm making up an inconceivable situation. If so please tell me.
If someone were to leave a sorority purely and 100% for financial reasons, then she is no longer a member? Can she obtain alumna status without transferring, graduating, or dropping out? I just don't see that as a situation where someone would be disrespecting the promises she made to the sorority. Can't she be a member of the national organization without currently contributing financially to the local chapter?

If someone runs into unforeseen financial troubles (i.e. her dad loses his job with no warning or something similar) most sororities will attempt to help her with a payment plan, and some groups will allow her to be on a special status where she has to pay less, or become an alumna earlier. If she becomes an alumna, she can no longer participate in day to day collegiate chapter activities, but she is still a sister. These type of policies are all varied from sorority to sorority.

But sometimes they just don't have the money for dues and - this is the important thing - don't wish to work to find a way to obtain it or get on a payment plan. I'm sure most chapters would rather have a woman be honest and tell them that XYZ just isn't important enough to them to fork out the money for dues and leave on relatively good terms, then keep saying she reeeeaallly wants to pay and participate and never follows through.

What you said is exactly right. There's people with legitimate financial issues. But then there are people where mommy and daddy decided not to pay for the sorority anymore, and they don't want to a) get a job or b) drop their Louis Vuitton/high bar tabs/designer jeans habits. Those people I had little to no sympathy for.

A couple of years ago a girl in Kappa at my school was on financial aid. Her family had a lot of financial problems, I think one of her parents lost his/her job. The girl couldn't afford tuition and housing even with the financial aid, let alone dues. The Kappas got together and helped to pay her dues. In addition, through a fund with KKG HQ, the sorority was able to help pay some of her college costs for that semester. One of our alumnae told us this at an alumnae reunion. It happened when she was an active. I think that this is an awesome story and shows the meaning of sisterhood.

That makes sense! Thank you!

KLPDaisy, that is an awesome story. Really uplifting!

Oddly enough, whenever sisters have dropped out of my sorority here, we've never had a problem with this. Mostly the letters are just given to littles/bigs. Members get a lot of letters through hand-me-downs, very few are bought, so it isn't that big of a deal I suppose. But we've never had anyone represent themselves as a member when they are not.

All I Got To Say. Is If You Denounce. Don't Let Me Catch You In The Streets Rocking My Letters...
Or Imma Have To Get The Baby Powder & Acid!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

landlords expect one to pay rent, toyota expects one to make their car payments. if a student could not pay their tuition, they would no longer be considered a student at that college and would not be allowed to attend classes or receive grades-if a student is a member of the marching band, but does not attend practices, they will not be allowed to keep their membership in the band, if a student is a senator in sga, but does not attend sga meetings, they will not be allowed to continue to hold their office-why should a fraternity or sorority be any different?

now if the student has an extraordinary situation that kept them from paying their tuition, or attending band practice or sga meetings, accomodation will be made. the same is true of a sorority or fraternity member with an extraordinary situation-the sorority or fraternity will try to work with the member.

Agree whole heartedly.

There is a difference between the two.

Can or does Sororitys place members on Alum status for financial problems as opposed to just dropping them from the rolls?