Bad Boys
 

Can someone please tell me why women like bad boys???:confused: You know, the thugs, losers, guys that mistreat women.:confused: Hey fellas have you ever heard this: "Oh he's cute and all, he's just too nice." What the hell.:confused:

I could never reject somebody for being too nice. On the contary, I have cut off people once they got sardonic.

People do like other people who are "free spirits", who are not always doing everything by the book. Why? Because those who follow the rules to the letter are often very dull, boring, and can be controlling and not be able to cope with change.

But there is a difference between a free spirit and a bad boy/girl.

I do not know if by being "too nice" she may have meant that he was too phobic, weak, afraid of too many things and did not want to step out of his comfort zone. I did date somebody once who had too many fears and who did not have any activities with me or on his own. He was very nice and sweet- which was great and I would not have changed. But we did not have any more in common that I would have had with any other platonic friend. He liked me more than what I liked him- and he realized it.

This should go in the dating and relationships forum...it has nothing to do with Greek life.

Agree. Thread moved.

All women don't like bad boys (I'm defining bad boys solely as the guys who treat women like crap). Immature women and/or women with issues will be attracted to a guy who treats her in a manner that is less than she really and truly desires. It's usually a self esteem problem where the woman will put up with being treated badly because she thinks that's all she can get. So really, you should be happy those women aren't attracted to you because you're sort of dodging a bullet by not dating them (in a sense).

However, when guys complain about women not liking "nice guys" it's typically because the guy in question is a doormat or too eager to please the woman. There is a difference between being a nice, good guy and being a doormat.

some guy from the re-nnainance said "to get the angel, you must play the part of the devil" i think he was right. Levi. I think. Or Da Vinci or uh...Robert Bacon maybe. I don't know. Some bacon would be good right now.

EXACTLY. "Too nice" = "I'm just not that into him." Maybe he's a wussy or maybe she doesn't find him attractive.

women still want a man who's a man. soft/sensitive/cry-baby dudes don't get the girls.

I do not like wimpy, co-dependent people period. I find people with inner strength, independence, and many hobbies/interests/activities to be better friends anyway.

And I do wish that people would stop using the word "nice" as a synonym for "doormat", "desperate", or "phobic". I could never be turned off by someone who is "too nice"- but if he is not my type, or if he is way too phobic, or if he is lazy or unintelligent or any other majorly bad qualities, then no amount of niceness can compensate for that.

In terms of "bad boys", sometimes women like the mystique of a man who is a little edgy (think James Dean). But women who like "bad boys" as in abusive in some way do tend to have an issue. Whether it be self esteem or something from childhood that is a deeper issue than wanting to date the local daredevil.

Wow, that's one of my favorite lines. I LOVE A CHALLENGE, and the second someone doesn't give me one by showing interest in me, I'm disappointed. It actually really sucks being like this, and right now I'm talking to a "nice guy" and I keep complaining to my friends that it's boring, and they're like, "no, he's normal, give him a chance."

In my own life, I've come to discover that I liked being with guys who were nasty to me because I wanted the drama. It kept them at a distance so I could protect my heart. I now have a "nice guy" with whom I can really be vulnerable. That's what I wanted all along but I was just scared.

Sorry guy's I forgot to stick this thread in the dating section. I'm still new at this.

But anyway, that's my point. Women tend to do this at a young age, and then when they (not all) get older they want a nice guy who they can raise a family with. I can't have that. I just can't go behind a thug. If you're bored with this guy mabey you should go ahead and dump him, because you know if Mr. Bad Boy shows up you'll have interest in him.:)

Just because he knows how to treat a lady doesn't mean he's a wimp.

Exactly. One thing has nothing to do with the other.

And a truly strong and courageous person will know how to treat others well.

You hit the nail on the head right here.

I wasn't using it as a synonym. My boyfriend is a very nice guy and treats me very well....however he is NOT a doormat/wimpy/desperate. My point was that in my experience, guys who complain about being "too nice" or whine "why do nice guys always finish last?" are typically focusing on the wrong problem. The actual problem being that they are acting doormat-ish/wimpy/desperate.

I'm not afraid to choke a bitch, if that's what this thread is about.

http://www.mandelion.com/images/waynebrady.jpg

LMAO!! I haven't seen that in a while.

What were you afraid of.

Agreed. It is natural for women to look for strength and stability in their mate. Personally, I expect a potential mate to be strong when I'm not, have a clear vision for our future and a clear plan to take us there. A man who provides me no more strength and support than one of my girls is insufficient. This doesn't mean that the guy needs to be abusive, a player, or have no weaknesses whatsoever. What I often find, though, is that guys who complain about being rejected for being 'too nice' are often setting their sites on a 'particular' kind of girl as well. If you find yourself constantly seeking out girls with insecurities or superficial interests, then it is not surprising that you would fall short of their needs.

For me, there have been a number of things both on the surface and deeper down. One issue is faithfulness. Would I be cheated on? The worst type of cheating is the emotional kind. Physical cheating is horrible, but honestly, I'd prefer it over emotional cheating.

Trust is also a serious concern. Can I tell this guy my hopes and dreams? Will he laugh at me? Will he steal them?

When I was with the bad boys, I never had to worry about them cheating emotionally (though they did cheat physically) because they didn't have enough depth to get to that point with me or anyone else. As for trust, I never shared my most precious thoughts and desires with them and they never asked for that information.

A good man, to me, is one who will guard our relationship with physical, mental, emotional and spiritual protection. But, that includes allowing me to be vulnerable without fear of attack or betrayal. So, he's got to have a good heart. I wanted a complete man...one who was manly, but also one who had the depth to really understand me. And, that's what I have.

I have said "Am I gonna have to choke a bitch" to many girls, and not a single one understood where it was from and they all probably thought I was psycho.

-Rudey
--Why do white people like Wayne Brady so much?

I don't even know what this thread is about. But Broski, I love wayne brady. I also love Bryant and greg Gumble. don't forget, Tiguh Tiguh Tiguh Woods yall!

A guy that knows how to treat a lady doesn't classify him as a whimp or desparate. I think men who commit to women that have been out there and with the bad boys are in for a lot of problems.

Why do you say this?

Let me explain it this way. Here's what happens, the bad boys usually cheat, physically abuse and verbally abuse their women. After the bad boy is out of her life, and she gets older then she wants a nice guy, and when I say nice guy I'm speaking of a gentleman, not a whimp, of a man that's as soft as drug store cotton. Well the bad boy or thug has made her so insecure with herself by cheating on her or abusing her in some way that when she ends up with the nice guy, those insecurities are still there. Now he has to deal with the insecurities based on who she dated in her past. I hear it a lot. A lot of women love thugs. I mean when she's young, but when she gets older she starts thinking of a man that she can raise a family with, because she knows she can't raise a family with a thug. I just can't see being the rebound guy, especially after some thug. But women seem to get it confused. They tend to think because a guy treats his woman right, that he's soft. That's not true. To me the thugs are the ones that are soft. Any man who puts his hands on a woman will not hit a man. I know that. Now, to me, a man like that is definitely as soft as Rite Aid drug store cotton. The good kind too.:)

"Boys will be boys,
bad boys, bad boys,
boys will be boys,
bad boys, bad boys"

I don't remember where I read it, but I had come across and article awhile back on this topic. Basically, it was about how girls don't want the "nice guys" because the "nice guys" take too long to make a move. Since they've been so careful not to even seem like they're anywhere near crossing any boundaries, she's already categorized him as platonic/non-sexual/eunuch friend material. If a guy wants to get a girl, he has to come across as a sexual being from the get-go. It doesn't necessarily mean be an asshole. But if you look at these assholes that treat women like shit, you'll see that they just walk around exuding their sexuality. A woman meets one of these bad boys and she can just instantly feel that this is a sexual man. If you want to be able to get a girl, you don't have to be an asshole, but you have to be kinda flirtateous. Gently touch her or lean in close when you talk to her. Let her know from the get-go that you're interested. Because if she's not getting these signals that you're interested, you'll get mentally lumped into the same compartment as her brother. And once she's subconsciously labeled you as a non-sexual being, you've got no chance with her.

You do not need to be sexual from the very beginning.

However, if she makes a move and he does not seem interested, it will be harder for her to get her hopes back up.

And I do agree that a thug is wimpier than a gentleman.

We've been going through this with one of our friends. He's a really nice guy, but right now he's dating this girl who has had a string of terrible men. They've been off and on for the past six months or so; she falls back to him whenever the other guys have hit her or ignored her enough. I think now he's realized that he was a bit of a doormat (one friend called the girl an emotional tampon), and has cut off all contact with her, thank goodness.

Interesting. I agree with you, although it's not always the 'thug' that mistreats a woman. It can be plain, everyday men too. I think sometimes they're more dangerous to women and their self-esteem because no one believes the woman when she says she's being mistreated by the 'pillar of the community' type guy. It's a shame all around.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. The absolute worst boyfriend I ever had--in terms of the way he treated me--was a "decent" guy in professional school who was from a nice family and had a lot of friends. He was the farthest thing from a 'thug' that you could possibly get.

That's what I'm talking about. Women like this are pretty stupid to me. Not you, but women who think like this. Guys that come off as making moves 1st and being very aggressive, 9 times out of 10 guys like this just want those draws. Next thing you know she's sitting there with her panties around her ankles just like the other 15 women he has on the side. Later he's no where to be found until he wants some more. Then when she ends up pregnant, he's gone for good. She can't get him to pay child support, because he's probably broke and living off of some other woman who loves bad boys and works everyday while he's living in her house, sitting on her couch, eating her food with one hand in his underwear watching Judge Judy or some show that comes on during the day when most people are at work. So what does she do? She tries to find the nice guy who's responsible, someone she can start a family with. If he falls for it, he's the biggest fool alive. I had several women who were interested in me, and I was talking to them for a minute, trying to get to know them, but when I found out that they've dated thugs in the past I left them alone. That's why I take a while before I make the 1st move. I have to see what type of girl she is. If she thinks I'm taking too long, oh well.

Yeah, she's pretty jacked.

Thugs come in all shapes sizes and colors. Some are rich and some are broke. Some wear their pants hangin' off their butts with super clean Timberland hiking boots with the tag still visible ( I hate that crap). Some are doctors and lawyers who wear Ralph Lauren suits and Johnston and Murphy shoes. I blame the women who stay with soft men like this and I blame the nice men who date these women. I actually blame the nice men more because they're not smart enough to know they are just the rebound guy. I've had women tell me it's not working out, and then come to find out she's dating a guy that looks cool on the outside, but in reality is treating her badly. Then she tried coming back to me, and like an idiot I took her back. She had gotten so insecure from him making her that way, I had to let her go. I was naive then. I wouldn't give a woman like that the time of day now. I can see her coming a mile away.

Was he a frat boy?

Yup, that's sooooooo true.

Well, that's it. Why does he have to be considered a doormat because he's eager to treat her like a lady? It's the bad boy who's the doormat, because he's a loser.

A man who treats a lady like a lady is a man. Anything less are considered boys to me. He should support her physically, emotionally and spiritually. Take her coat off for her, open the door for her, pull her chair out for her ect. It's the simple things that get the ladies dude. I don't understand what the big deal is. Men that do this are not cry babies and are far from being soft. I grew up seeing my dad do these simple things for my mom and they've been married for 43 years. I dunno it's just how I was raised.