Actives Need to Clean Up Facebook, Too
 

So, I was looking at facebook and came across an active (in a sorority I won't name) who made comments such as (names changed to protect the innocent):

• my sorority sisters don't care about my personal problems - they even make me cry more
• Thanks, Ginger, for being a REAL sister
• we only had (insert low # here) PNMs show up for pref - I wish I could've left town

So my question is this. Aren't actives told to make sure their myspace/facebook/blogs are cleaned up? These comments were made DURING recruitment. If I were one of the PNMs who attended this sorority's pref and saw that comment, I would think, "Well screw you, too."

It just strikes me as odd that women put such inappropriate details in a public place, especially at a time like recruitment. This is supposed to be the time to show PNMs how great your sisterhood is, not a time to complain about having only one REAL sister.

This sorority has been struggling with numbers for a while... I just can't believe they wouldn't tell their members to make sure that, if they can't paint their sisterhood in a brilliantly positive light, then don't say anything at all.

Don't most groups have some kind of pre-recruitment workshops going over information like this? Is this a case of a poorly involved advisor? Or are some things just expected to be common sense (and therefore not a concern for either the chapter or the advisor)?

Oh my goodness. We just had a workshop about internet sites like Facebook, MySpace, LJ, etc. and were told that it was absolutely necessary to either put it on private for Recruitment or clean it up. It's ridiculous that somebody would put something like that on FACEBOOK, of all things. :confused:

Umm duh.

If she hates her sorority this much, and is this miserable, do you really expect her to listen if a chapter officer or advisor tells her to clean up her facebook?

Why is she paying her dues as a member if she hates her chapter so much? Regardless of the inappropriate comments on Facebook, if she is that miserable why not just turn in the pin?

Networking? Mommy, grandma, and five aunts were all XYZs? Parents paying dues? I worked on a project with a girl who was miserable in her sorority and talked shit about them every chance that she got. She purposely avoided them and never showed up to anything. When she got called in to standards, she asked me to go with her so that they would "cut it short" (hell no!). When I asker her why she would continue to be in it, she said that her parents were paying her dues and that it looked really good on her resume and for possible social connections if she could say that she's an XYZ rather than she was an XYZ in college but left the sorority.

I would have NO trouble voting to expel somebody like that. :mad: Everybody would be happier.

It was the second semester of her senior year. She had already caused them so much grief that they probably figured that it would be less time-consuming to forget about her than it would be to actually go through the process of expelling her.

Wow... I hadn't really thought about this being intentional. I just assumed she was dense enough to have forgotten about people other than her close friends having the opportunity to read it.

If she deliberately ignored requests by her chapter officers or advisors to remove the information (or refrain from posting such information), then the situation is worse than I had originally thought.

I just thought it was oversight on someone's part. We give PNMs all kinds of advice on here, so I thought perhaps we needed to give actives advice as well. Don't I feel naive!

Looks like this chapter just needs to do some weeding-out.

Thank you for the advice. I will certainly pass the idea of clean Facebook text on to my daughter. Everyone speaks constantly of monitoring your Facebook entries during recruitment for fear of sorority eyes gathering incriminating tidbits ofmorsels of information.

I agree with this. Quite frankly I am appalled at some of the interest groups on the college sites, "I got blackout drunk and tried to dance", "what did I do last night?" It may seem harmless and be funny to some members but it really is detrimental to Greek Life. When you have faculty and administration officials who don't look kindly on the Greek system, it belies our case that we are not all about drinking but about sister/brotherhood/philanthropy etc.

I think that those groups are only detrimental to greek life when it's at a big school with a large greek life population. At my school, 1% of girls and 3% of guys are greek, I can't even count the number of groups that we have with names like "my BAC is higher than my GPA," "finish your beer, there are sober kids in India," "I do stupid things when I'm drunk," etc. Seeing as there are hundreds of people in those groups and there aren't even that many people in greek life, I don't see how the administration could possibly look down on us for that.

Good point! In response to that, I would say that NO student should be joining these side groups. Don't you think faculty and academic advisors look at profiles when choosing a student for a specific position, honor or even just to see the other side of the person? I know that my colleagues and I do.

Some of you are scolding a young woman on her AI mission because her myspace page is showing oddities. I am not that old, yet I don't think I would want a 28 y.o. grown woman who still liked cartoon characters initiated into ANY group. We should be reminding everyone to keep their facebook page G-rated.

When I read the Wake Forest thread that got bumped recently and read the original thread that went with it, and the livejournal page that started it all, I realized that we actually know the girl who may have inadvertantly started the whole mess 3 years ago. I haven't mentioned it to her mom, but it certainly makes me think differently of this girl.

Re that Wake Forest thing, I would hardly say she "started the whole mess." The "mess" was already happening, she just wrote about it (and very well, may I add). That's like saying newspapers caused a robbery because they did a news story on it.

Alum, I have to say that it's a bit ridiculous not to pick a student for an honor or position just because his/her facebook says that (s)he likes to drink and party. Personally, it seems that things like grades, activities, recommendation letters, etc. would hold more weight than a facebook picture or group. At least I should hope so.

Where's this Wake Forest thread?

search under "relinquish" in titles only.

Thanks!

Facebook
 

I think college kids need to be reminded time and time again that the groups are public, and that more than the intended audience may see them.

That said, I know many former students are members of facebook groups that don't really describe their interests. Sometimes they think it's funny or ironic to join. Some have even created silly groups about their friends that are not an acurate depiction at all.

Judging any 20 year old by a webpage is probably going to be somewhat misleading, but a smart student would always remember that anyone can look and get the wrong idea.

I see London I see France, I got black out and thought I could dance

Panhell at the U of Rochester just made it mandatory for all affilated women to deactivate our facebook profiles during formal recruitment. its only 4 days and the purpose was to cut down on the facebook stalking on all parts. a fabulous idea

If someone ever tried to tell me what I was and wasn't allowed to have online, I'd tell em to go to hell.

That's interesting considering our Panhel is telling us (the PX's) to use Facebook to get in touch with girls and to talk up recruitment. We're not to use it for anything official (i.e. talking about invites, bids, serious discussions of recruitment etc), but to send notes of "have a great day" and "don't forget, meeting at 6:30 in BFAC lobby!". They've also sent out invites to pre-recruitment events through Facebook all quarter.I fully intend to take mine down forever after recruitment is done. But till then, up it stays.

I know for us it's a constant thing. We are not allowed to have any photos with alocohol, quotes about partying, or anything you wouldn't show to your boss at a new job. Even if you are 21, all of this has got to be removed, or you have to remove everything associated with gamma phi, including photos of you in letters, etc. It's a pain, and when we go out we have to all be sure no bottles or cans or koozies are in photos. We're the only sorority on campus who does this though.

don't be stupid
 

I realize some of these posts are from a while ago, but my advice is still pretty much the same-
1. DON'T LET ANYONE BUT YOUR FRIENDS (real friends, not some random from lecture who's your facebook friend) SEE YOUR PROFILE.
2. USE A DIFFERENT PHOTO SITE FOR YOUR PICTURES.

It's now at the point where I KNOW chapters who have had their charters revoked and members who have been asked to resign their membership for pictures that were posted on Facebook. Also, now that Facebook is available to businesses and anyone in any city to join, ANYONE can see your profile unless you alter the privacy settings. I have heard of people not getting continued interviews/ hired due to the fact that people from the prospective employer could see how poorly they represented themselves on the internet.

I can't tell you how many times I have to remind high school women to privatize their facebook profiles, since college women can look them up, once I send in my recruitment recommendations (as by then, these soon-to-be freshmen usually have their college e-mail address).

So, I'll say it again...
DO NOT PUT UP ANY PICTURES WHERE YOU ARE BEING LEWD, DRUNK, OVERLY-SEXUAL, ETC.

I know it can seem lame that independent folks can post whatever they want, but we can't. But honestly, do you really want to present yourself like you're Paris Hilton? I hope not.

** stepping down from my soapbox, as I am a member of some fun facebook groups, but I don't have any icky pictures of myself up, either **

Until you are an initiated member, you have absolutely no place telling people what they can and cannot do in their letters.

And we won't even talk about the shallowness of judging what each group is like by the physical appearance of their members...

I've been keeping quiet for a long time, but now it really needs to be said.

If you really want to have a successful rush at your new school, I'd suggest learning how to keep your damn mouth shut.

Your grades aren't that great, you're rushing as a junior, and you've said a lot of things here that pissed a lot of people off. I don't know what school you'll be rushing at and I don't care that I don't know, but I'll say this -- a lot of people DO care because you know what? They don't want you joining their organization. I'm serious. They'll stop at nothing to make sure of it. Your lack of discretion probably made it a lot easier for them to do so.

So please...if you're serious about rushing and if you really want to get a bid, quit putting your foot in your mouth. You might also want to change your perspective on Greek Life in general and stop being so freaking shallow.

Have a nice day.

I think I love you.

Me, too.

Here's my first problem with this PNM judging actives issue:

The girls you are looking at are not for sure actives. One of my pledge sisters (who has been an alum for two years but her profile does not indicate the year she graduated) has a Facebook photo that says "all the Gamma Phis toasting X at her wedding" and there are pictures of a bunch of us holding up wine/champagne/cocktails (and yes, even some beer bottles) toasting the bride. We are alumnae! We are allowed to drink alcohol! :rolleyes:

If you don't want to join a house where sisters of age are allowed to consume alcohol, then don't. However, suggesting this is really not going to help you, as OTW pointed out in her post. I really think that you should stop posting on GC ASAP if you would like to entertain any thoughts of getting a bid. How many junior transfers will be going through at your school? You are probably very easily identifiable.

AOII has no ban on drinking in letters, nor does several other groups that were on my campus. All four sororities went to PIKEFest every year clothed in bid day shirts (usually sewn letters) and drank PIKE punch until we were all tipsy. Some groups may have a rule against it, but in my humble opinion, I won't do anything out of my letters that I wouldn't do in them! If it's a rule of the sorority in general or of the chapter, then I'd follow it. Otherwise, I don't think it is disrespectful.

That may be the first thing I agree with you on.

never mind.

Oh come on, just say it.

Unlike me, they wish to remain anonymous.

Just don't be surprised if the sororities on your campus receive a NO-REC with your name on it. :rolleyes:

There won't be one until after recruitment. I am not afraid of retribution for my comments, but just that this year I want to focus all my energy on recruitment instead of coming back and posting the days events. I do plan on posting my results after the fact.
Well since you don't know where I will be going to school at will be kind of hard now won't it? And they do not know my name nor what I look like. You threaten has no consequences now does it?

FYI, you're not quite as anonymous as you think you are. You've put enough personal information about yourself out there that people can figure it out pretty quickly.