Fake Problem Appreciation Thread
 

It is time that we start a thread where everybody can complain about their "problems" that are not really problems, so we all have a SAFE place to complain about the things we pretend bother us but really are intended to make others realize how perfect and awesome we are.

I'll start!

My boobs are big!

I once got a B+ in law school, but that's totally okay because I got straight As every other semester!

I am an attorney! It is very hard but somehow I survive.

Most guys I encounter every day want to have sex with me!

It was very hard to wait for the entire 10 minutes it took for me to be offered alumna membership to a sorority!

People always buy me free drinks because I'm so hot, but then I drink too much and feel hungover the next morning!

I simply cannot wear all five engagement rings at the same time. Someone is going to be hurt every day!

Sometimes, my trust fund checks arrive a day late! Those are usually the days when 1,000 people ask to friend me on Myspace!

You got me laughing so freakin hard my co-workers are looking at me like WTF is wrong with you

Oh dear, that is another problem! I am so very sorry that my immense and amazing powers of humor have caused you any discomfort. I am a terrible person.

Yes you are a terrible person! And my problem is I hate telling people they're terrible! I guess that makes me terrible too. :(

Re: Fake Problem Appreciation Thread
 

Now this is the best thread EVER!!

:D


I'm sorry to tell you this, but you ROCK! Guess you can add that to your list, too.

The good thing is that by telling someone she's terrible, it lets everybody know that YOU are in fact NOT terrible! You are great! And perfect! Please, take solace in your greatness.

Re: Re: Fake Problem Appreciation Thread
 

Please direct a sequel to your movie and call it the Sisterhood of the Traveling Fake Problems. The stars must all be either fragile and delicate or large-chested.

I ©
Valkyrie

YOU GUYS STOP IT!!!!! It's so awful when people compliment me and say all these nice things! OH MAN DO NOT MAKE ME THE CENTER OF ATTENTION! I know that if I didn't want the attention I could TOTALLY stop posting in this thread, or I could've just not started the thread at all! But it's much cooler to complain about it and pretend it bothers me!

I don't look like an unmade bed. :(

I am too fabulous for words. It is so hard to be me.

Make a movie about me.

The Sisterhood of the fabulous Amycat.

Take solace in your ordinariness, for it is hard yo, hard to be so damn fabulous.

I'm actually beginning to feel light-headed from all of this laughing. You all are EVIL. :p :o

My hair is TOO long, and TOO naturally blonde, and TOO soft. I hate it how it always looks perfect, even when I first wake up.

I have the perfect length leg and 80% of pants in my size fit me right of the rack, so I never get to use a tailor to make them super-perfect.

My job's hours are too wonderful. I get out of here by 4 everyday, and I don't see as much traffic as a lot of other people. I don't get to sit among thousands of rush hour cars.

My job blocks Yahoo Mail, Hotmail, Google Mail, You Tube, MySpace, anything with blog in it so I am forced to spend more time on GC and e-mailing people from my work account which might lead people to believe that I am not very productive at work but they are all wrong. I think the only sites that should be banned at work are p*rn or s*x sites. Internet limitations decreases my satisfaction.

I like a man. He purports to like me too. Liking him has created problems. Not real major problems but just you know problems that I would rather not have but I do like him and he expressed interest to me first. But this expression has upside downed my world. It constantly has me looking at my cell for possible missed calls.

I don't have any missed calls.

I have a problem making up words, i.e. upside downed.

I have 3000 rollover minutes. HUGE PROBLEM!:(

It is pouring out in NYC right now. So hard in fact that I simply cannot leave my house to run errands for my mother and to pick up my dry cleaning. Oh dear. What's a girl to do?

You should enlist your hot sexy man-slaves to go out and pick up your dry cleaning and buy you presents.

My ankles are so skinny that even on the very last hole my ankle strap sandals are too loose. Whatever do I do? Surely there is not a man who fixes shoes out there who can help me? is there? is there?

I'm addicted to junk food, and when I eat too much I break out. I should sue the companies who make the foods!

I hate worms. Ewwwww! Why aren't there jobs created for people to remove them for me whenever it rains? I'm broke, so obviously I'm not paying them. :rolleyes:

I have an irrational fear that someone will look at my shoes in public restrooms and recognize me later and laugh. Or worse, a pervert peeping at me from the next stall (which really happened at my school 2 years ago, not to me though). Sooooo...there should be single restrooms only, in every building! Screw having 101 stalls! I'm sick of having to drive across campus to the music building everytime nature calls.

I still have five vacation days to figure out what to do with. I have some allocated for Jaycee nationals and some allocated for a couple other things. Oh, it's so tough, figuring out where to go. Any ideas for me?

I really like the way you think.

I think that's a real problem, lol. I think we have less vacation days than any major European country.

All of my pants are too big! Stores simply do not make sizes small enough for my twee little waist!

The car my parents bought me is a BMW, and it's not even a convertible. All my friends have Mercedes convertibles. I can't go anywhere with them because I'll be so embarrassed!

I REALLY hate thunderstorms. If we can send man to the moon, then why can't someone invent something that make storms change direction, just for me! Let other areas deal with hail, lightning, floods, and damaging winds.

I have so much to do these next 2 weekends, it's driving me insane. Parties, baby shower, committee meetings. All this spending money is sooooo not cool. :(

How do you live with yourself???

my solution: go to all of them

Go shopping at all of the malls and adopt all of the cute cats. After that, you'll have no money left over. :p

I'm a popular sorority girl (I know, redundant). I have so many friends and so many invitations to parties and clubs. How ever do I choose? My time is precious, so I can't waste my time going to uncool clubs or parties. But sometimes, there's like two or three cool parties in one night. What do I do then?

It's called party hopping!! But you have to prioritize. You decided which is the absolute coolest, and you save them for last (because all the other really super popular people don't show up until late either!).

Wow, I thought I was the only one with this problem. I use words like jerkamole, lady-ish, and happyosity, and it makes my daughter laugh. Why does she laugh at me? :(

http://webpages.ull.es/users/aruiz/T...tury%20Fox.JPG

*boom boom, boom boom, dllllllll boom boom, duh dunna duuuu duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duhh dunanananaaaaaa dunannaaaa duh duh dunaaaaaa duh dunanaaaa duh duh dunaaaaa duh duh dunaaaaaahhhhhhhhh*

TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX & GREEK CHAT FILMS

IN ASSOCIATION WITH PERFECTVERSE PRODUCTIONS PRESENT...

The Most Anticipated Film of the Year


THE FAKE PROBLEMS SOCIETY


FEATURING A STAR-STUDDED ENSEMBLE CAST THAT INCLUDES:

Valkyrie
AlphaFrog
Mulattogyrl
AXiD670
Munchkin03
amycat412
FeeFee
CrimsonTide4
KLPDaisy
Dionysus
Sister Havana
ADqtPiMel
JocelynC
SOPi_Jawbreaker

A SPECIAL GUEST STAR APPERANCE BY PERFECTVERSE

AND MANY MORE….



BASED ON A TRUE STORY

In a world where petite women’s needs are often ignored, a place that allows people to congregate and complain about problems that aren’t really troubles becomes necessary for survival. Valkyrie stars as the innovator who would create the social order known as the Fake Problem Society. Watch as the members of this society struggle with issues such as which hot party to attend, where they should spend outrageous amounts of money, which hot guy to date, and where to go while on a lavish month-long vacation. Your heart will melt when you learn of all the horrific things these women have had to deal with.

The New York Times gives this film 5 stars, and then felt bad about having the power to rate films and influence others on the quality of motion pictures. The Film Critic who reviewed "The Fake Problems Society" realized that he was wrong for working at his dream job and eventually quit. After the Film Critic quit, the owners of the New York Times soon learned the error of their ways and shut down the paper because it was one of the most read publications in the world.

Proceeds from the ticket sales for this film will go to support Taualumna’s quest to find clothes to fit her petite frame. MAKE A DIFFERENCE, AND THEN FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF FOR HELPING OTHERS.

CATCH THIS BREATH-TAKING STORY AT A THEATER NEAR YOU, THEN FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF FOR HAVING THE TIME AND MONEY TO SPEND ON GOING TO SEE A MOVIE!

:cool:

The lack of 2 ________ :p

LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO

DAMMMITTTT PV06 is a certified FOOL!!!!

PV06, I love you more than life itself. Together, you and I can make a real difference! After seeing your groundbreaking movie, women and girls the world over will unite and climb to the tops of their desks, bars, or tables at fancy restaurants and like the boys before them in Dead Poets Society, declare:

OH FAKE PROBLEMS MY FAKE PROBLEMS!

Carpe diem, girls. Or, um, how do you say "Sieze the fake problems!" in Latin? I studied it in high school but was too busy flirting with football players to pay attention in class. Gosh darn it, I've had such a troubled past.

Fake problem of the day: I just read this one FOR REAL on lawschooldiscussion.org

Oh I just took a practice LSAT and I got a 180. I am so afraid to take another because I think if my score goes down it will shake my confidence.

<<beats head against the wall>>

If you're having fake problems I feel bad for you son
but I got 99 problems but midgets ain't one.

PV06, you are killing me over here. Between this thread and the other thread, I can't breath anymore. Somebody better send a paramedic to do CPR...preferably a hot one. ;)