Question for the Fellas...
 

Okay, I was having a discussion with some co-workers of mine (males and females), and the guys were talking about how women tend to tear each other down when it comes to physical beauty (i.e. 'Beyonce is not all that cute'). So they asked the females who we thought were attractive in the entertainment industry.

BUT

When we posed the same question to the males (which males did they think were attravtive in the entertainment industry), they all looked at us like we were crazy for asking them such a thing.

So I'm asking the men of GC...

Why do men feel as though they can't give another man a compliment on his apperance? I'm not talking about saying "You rockin' some nice gatas there, man!" I'm talking about saying another man is attractive.

Are you comfortable enough in your manhood to give another man a compliment on his looks? Why or why not?

:cool:

I don't think this has anything to do with being komfortable with one's manhood. I just don't find men attraktive. If a man is attraktive, women will let him know, not me....

I'm not speaking in sexual terms...you can find something or someone attractive without being sexually attracted to it or him/her.

I mean, if a man can say Sam Casell is ugly or Flava Flav looks like a roach, then why can't they say someone ISN'T ugly?

If you see a little boy and he's cute, are you not going to say he's a good looking kid because you think that because you say he's attractive that means you're gay?

And don't you call your bruhs typically call each other "Pretty Boys"?

I don't think it's that we find it hard to compliment each other. We just speak another language. Women say: "Oh my God she is so hot! Look at her she is really doing it." Imagine your man saying that?
The most you'll get out of a man is: "Gook look ni99a. Dem shoes are fly."

Reason being. Women are wired to respond to touch, men are wired to respond to sight. A man uses sight to pick out potential mates. If a man is comfortable saying, "Yes he is very attractive." 9 times out of 10 he is gay!!! He's using a sexually wired part of his body to analyze men. CAUTION!!!

If a man walked up to me and said, "Dude you're hot!" I would punch him. Plain and simple.

Well Said Good Brother!

See a compliment^^^.

No prob bruh, anytime!

Now see:D

Yeah I think men just do things differently

you know, the only dudes i know that will give another dude a compliment on his looks are Kappas. not all, but some that ive met recently. for some reason it doesnt strike me as odd or indicative of their orientation.

I've seen that but it is done in such a way that it is funny.

"Man you are one sexy M^&%(*()!!!"

WOW,PAUSE on that imitation of the Good Brothers....

uh.................ok..............sure........... right...............uh

Yeah. the most I can give a dude as far as a compliment is something about his clothes/style. "That shirt is clean...those shoes are tight, etc. I don't look at dudes in regards to physical attractiveness and I don't want to know if any other dude looks at me in that manner. Now I might be kickin' it with a BRUH and say, "oh he's a fly @ss NUPE!", but that is it.

I think they do things differently too. This topic has come up before plenty of times when I was with a group of friends. We've concluded that society has put in place that it's not kosher for a man to give another man an out-of-the-ordinary compliment. It's deemed gay. Like stated before, they give compliments in their own way. They notice a man with his haircut and they may say, 'it's about time dawg.' Translation: I like your haircut. It makes you look nice. Another one would be, 'A nigga done jumped clean on me.' Translation: You look nice in that outfit or that outfit compliments you. My sisters and I asked my brother-in-law about that, and he would just say the dude is not ugly. He would never say he was cute, handsome, etc. Why exactly is that a big issue with guys?

Also, there were some good points made concerning Kappas complimenting each other. What's up with chapters that bring out all light skinned pretty boys or just all pretty boys in general? Who decides that they are all pretty? Coincidence? Kinda far fetched to me. Good topic PV.

I can not speak for everyone in my fraternity, but I was asked this question before. I believe that a "pretty boy" image begins as a state of mind. You first have to have that mindset. After that, it transcends into a persons outward appearance. As I have always stated...I'm the finest muthafvcka I know!

Once again, the Good Brothers provide klarifikation, Prettyboy is a mindset and then it influences everything else from what kind of shoes you buy to how you kut your hair, so I guess what I'm tryin' to say is that to be Pretty one must start from within lol....

insert vomit smilie here

Gimme a break, I'm a Neo...I'm allowed to be extra for a li'l while lol...

I gotta say this....

"Pretty Boy" is definitely not a mindset. I don't care how fresh your haircut is, how crisp your shirts are, or how new your shoes are.

If you look like you were beaten about the face with an ugly bat, being a Kappa won't transform you into a pretty boy. You're just an ugly boy with letters. Or at best, average.

And I'm not picking on the Kappas, there are unattractive people in EVERY organization, including mine. But it irks me to see an organization deem themselves "pretty" and some members just aren't.

It's like AKAs who consider themselves pretty girls...... no, some of you just have high self esteem. Good for you. But there's a difference.

***

On topic.....I am a gay man who is very aware of how I give compliments. I find that when I tell a dude "you look nice today!" in a totally non-threatening way, it goes over well. I am generally referring to an outfit, hairstyle, or whatever. And though everyone knows I'm gay, no one assumes I'm hitting on them. I also give back-handed compliments, too, like was said above "It's about time you got a haircut." It's just my personality.

WOW!! You make some great points. Great feedback. Now I will rephrase my question to the Kappas. How does a line come out with all pretty boys face wise? Not by clothes, shoes, etc. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Apparently the Kappas selecting the new members behold something beautiful/pretty. Just wondering.


I have also seen some mugly Kappas and AKAs. I think it's good to see a mixture. Keeps down the stereotypes.

Can I ask you a question? Hopefully this won't come off as offensive...

Do you think your compliments go over well because of the way in which you deliver it or because you are a gay man and people assume you are more aware of how a man looks? I ask this because one of the men I was discussing this with is gay and he argued his point against the heterosexual males we were hanging out with, and the straight males stated that the gay male was able to give another man a compliment because of the fact that he is gay, while everyone else said that it's not a matter of being gay or straight, it's just a matter of being comfortable within yourself as a man to give another man props when he looks good.

We also had a straight male in the group who said there was no problem with him giving another man a compliment. He doesn't gush like females may do, but he just says "Hey man, I know those hazel eyes of yours have the ladies falling all over you!" and most men don't feel uncomfortable with that.

I honestly never really thought about it....I guess it depends on who receives the compliments. I always assumed people think "Wow, that was nice of Darden" but they might also think "Well, Darden would know."

I'll ask at work tomorrow.


Um.....that right there would make me feel uncomfortable, LOL.

alright

you pretty rascal, you

Flag on the play!!! For a man to say that would set off every alarm in my heterosexual body. Why??? To say that means you have been staring. Why are you staring at me, let alone looking into my eyes?

I'm sorry if I offended everyone, but I live in Miami. The DL-fobia is deep here. Men will hit on you just like the above sentence and if you're dumb, you won't catch it until he asks you what your plans for dinner are. I once had some dude say, "Nice lips man, I bet the ladies love them." Ask yourself why is another man looking at my lips? Not surprisingly he later asked a co-worker of mine to express to me his interest. I reaffrim my previous statement, especially when addressing body parts, str8 men don't compliment each other like that.

http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...ticons6/24.gif

We think this guy may be in a league of his own....

One of his favorite movies is "From Justin to Kelly" starring the winner and runner-up of American Idol LMBO!!!!

http://www.websitegoodies.com/smilies/gfx/sign0070.gif :rolleyes: :( :p :confused:

I beg to differ...
Being Pretty is a mindset. Not just in Kappa, but in the real world. Have you seen the finest women with the most ugliest men. That's because he has a pretty mindset. If you feel good about yourself and have the right outfit you will look like a celeb.

Case in point. The Ace off the last line. He was a complete nerd! Nerd I say. Glasses, bad clothes, and horrible shoes. But while he was persuing membership (:D) people noticed that he changed the game up a little. Spent more time grooming himself, got better clothes, and started speaking out more. By the time he crossed he was a regular Romeo. He had aquired the pretty mindset, which can't be sold in stores nor stolen. Being around suave and klean kut people will make you wanna up your game a little. I've even seen it happen to women who started dating Kappas. They just all of a sudden start dressing better and keeping the hair done up all nice.

:D

No I wouldn't put it past any man who walks around noticing body parts and compliment the men who own them.

Okay, cool! It will be interesting to find out what people think of this.

LMBO!!!

The guy 'claims' those sorts of compliments go over well with the fellas, but he could've been lying about that to save face in front of the straight guys in the group. He's confessed a few things to us, and the other guys have used those things to make fun of him, so telling all of us he's cool with complimenting a man that way has just given them more ammo to tease him with.

Nothing you have described makes a man pretty. Stylish, suave, sophisticated -- sure.

Ladies -- is Jay Z pretty?

Who can judge what's pretty? It's all in what people perceive. Perception is reality! People perceive prettiness in ALMOST every man in KAPsi.

Dude.... "attractive" is not the same as pretty. I can agree that people can perceive attractiveness in almost anyone.

But "pretty" in a man is a very specific thing that is not synonymous with any traits that can be learned, such as sophistication or stylishness.

I'm not emotionally invested in this debate -- just REALLY wondering when "pretty" became a state of mind. It really, really is not.

HAYLE NAW

Proceed

No way!! But his confidence and swagger make him look good in women's eyes.

Ditto!!!!

He dresses nicely, that's about it.

Me

Pretty= You, and the other Kappas on this site

NOT PRETTY= The three hood Kappas that were at my momma's house this weekend that didnt know how to end a party.

I will not comment on the last statement, you pretty rascal

Thanx!:D

Shouldn't have offered them sammiches and red kool-aid. You see how they made themselves at home LOL!!

I hope you've learned your lesson. It was a honest mistake. BUT You know how the saying goes...Fool me once, I'll beat yo azz. Fool me twice, I'll beat yo azz again.



Or something like that.


:confused:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ the saying.

Originally posted by Senusret I
Dude.... "attractive" is not the same as pretty.
Webster defines pretty as: Pleasing or attractive in a graceful or delicate way.

Example A:
Brad Pitt= Pretty Boy
Vin Diesel= Not

Although most women find them BOTH ATTRACTIVE, Vin Diesel is not concidered "pretty".

Brad is "pretty" because he is always well groomed, stylishly dressed, and is....NOT A BRUTE.

But "pretty" in a man is a very specific thing that is not synonymous with any traits that can be learned, such as sophistication or stylishness.

One learns to be graceful and delicate (I hate those words). In the case of men, we learn our grooming habits and sense of style.

ExampleB:
Timberland Boots= A bit thuggish/rugged
Fiagaro wing-tipped lizard skin boots=stylish/pretty

I'm not emotionally invested in this debate -- just REALLY wondering when "pretty" became a state of mind. It really, really is not.

No. it's a way of life that stems from a way of thinking or in other words a state of mind.

This definition, on the other hand, is what I think of when I think of an African American pretty boy:


"A male of any sexual orientation possessing fine features, e.g., high, prominent cheek-bones, full lips, long eyelashes, etc., that may be appealing to both sexes."

Add to that "good hair" (sorry) and light skin.

I'm sorry for playing the "Our Kind of People" card, but that's just what a Pretty Boy always was to me.

Everyone who is attractive isn't a pretty boy. Everyone who takes care of themselves (Jay Z) isn't a pretty boy.

But to settle this debate here and now, please post your picture (I'll also post mine for comparison sake) and we can let the general public decide if either one of us is a pretty boy (I really hope that I'm not one, lol).

Um, Brad Pitt has had quite a few "not so fresh and so clean" moments. Matter of fact, he has even looked down right mangy in some instances, lol. That's not attractive nor pretty.

When I think of a pretty boy, I think of a guy who possesses feminine facial features.