rushing again
 

i joined a sorority and i tried soo hard to make it work for me but i just dont fit in with at my house!!! greek life is huge at my school and i dont know what im gonna do if i quit! can i rush after initiated? also my friend is rushing next year and im so jealous!! i kno its bad but i ct help it - i wish i could do it again!

You can't rush again after you've been initiated, that is if you're NPC. You can quit, but you still won't be able to rush or join another sorority.

its honestly making me miserable! what should i do?

You should deactivate. You aren't doing those lovely ladies any favors by sticking around if you hate it so much. Find a club you can join instead.

Or maybe talk to some of your sisters about your concerns. Most of the time especially in organizations, we let the little things that bother us build up instead of exploring options to work through them. Find some older sisters that you are close to and confide what your feeling and see if you can work it out. If you still feel like this house isn't the place for you then desister but that's a big decision because if you are an intiated member of an NPC org. you cannot join another NPC org. Good Luck!

Cancel your membership. This means you are no longer a member and cannot wear letters or attend any sort of membership functions or events. You can,of course, be friends with the members!

Once initiated, you can't join another NPC. If you joined a local sorority (one that does not have any other chapters at any other universities), you are eligible to join another local sorority, depending on the rules of that local sorority you are seeking to join.

Cut your losses and get involved on campus in another activity. I understand that you feel you don't fit in, but honestly, and in my experence, unless your sorority is composed of 10 or less members, every sorority on campus has diverse members and you can fit in or not fit in as a matter of choice. What is it you dislike so much about your organization?

Have you passively waited by the phone, hoping people will call and invite you out? Friendship is a two-way street, and just because you can call someone your "sister" does not entitle her to be your friend.

If you haven't made an effort to know the members, do try. Talk to your big sister or another older member and give it a go. If you are totally opposed to this, or there are other (unethical) things going on, then cancel your membership.

Talk to your chapter president on cancellation procedures-- you may need to submit a formal dated letter and have any loose ends tied up (ie: current on dues as of the date of your letter) before you can be officially out.

Is anyone else experiencing deja vu? Didn't we just have this post like last week?

Apparently, that thread was deleted so it was started again. My advice is the same. Turn in your badge and find something else to do.

Why was it deleted?

I think it's obvious that she can either do something about it (talk to someone about her concerns, try and change things) or quit. That's how you approach anything in life.

Maybe she just wants to talk to someone about it? Why not be kind to her and do just that and see where she goes from there?

-Rudey

I would be that she deleted it herself and decided to ask again in a different forum. PenguinTrax and Carnation usually don't delete things like that. They may lock them if the discussion becomes heated, but not delete.

She did get a lot of good advice, but i'm guessing she just didn't get the answer she wanted to hear.

Re: rushing again
 

Good luck in getting any support on here. I went though the same thing almost a year ago and did NOT get anywhere! :mad:

That's what I think happened.

Rudey, I hear what you are saying and I agree. However, in the OP, it was stated almost ad nauseam about how much she hated the chapter and most of the girls. IIRC, she said that she was supposed to be in a better house anyway.

What's wrong with that?

The reality is this. Not all fraternities and sororities are the same. Some are bookish and intelligent, some are meatheads or pretty girls, some are rich and some are poor, some are good and some are bad and some are better.

And for whatever reason, someone may not fall in line with the rest of the house.

That's natural. There isn't any reason to sugarcoat it right? If someone doesn't want to answer her, they can just move on and if they want to tell her about their experience or just listen, they can do that too :) That of course isn't reality as we've seen.

-Rudey

Well, my guess is that if she was supposed to be in a better house, she would have gotten a bid from that house.

You could rush a local, but honestly, red flags would go up when girls came to our recruitment and they had quit another sorority after being intiated so recently. It's one thing if there are unethical things going on that make you feel that you have to quit, quite another to decide so quickly that you don't like it. Newsflash - when you join a sorority, you have responsibilities - one of which is reaching out to your sisters in friendship, and another is throwing yourself in wholeheartedly. If you can't do it in one, you can't do it in another.

Really? I've seen pictures of groups of gorgeous girls and then right there in the corner is a girl who is anything but.

I guess we don't know and it's not for us to judge that - plus it's not what the thread is about.

-Rudey

There isn't anything wrong with that. Everyone wants to be in a group where they feel comfortable. Many people, including myself, gave her great advice regarding the situation as she laid it out in the original thread. No one sugarcoated or coddled and some added their own stories. Life is way too short to be miserable. That's why I suggested originally, that if she can't make it work then she should walk.

But I'm not in her sorority and she hasn't come on here saying what sorority that is or what chapter.

We've all had members that weren't happy. It's just the way it is.

-Rudey

Let's be careful with the "rush a local" advice. Locals still have selective membership, which often includes hesitation to initiate initiates of another organization. (without too much detail...my own sorority would probably not pledge/initiate a member of another sorority, however the situation hasn't presented itself in recent time).

This isn't a dig against anyone in this thread, honestly. I just don't want this girl to get the idea that locals will immediately accept her. I know that the advice was meant in the most constructive way, I just worry that it will get read as "rush a local/service, theyre almost as good as an NPC/NIC". Just as a note that fraternal organizations, service, local, and national, all have selection and requirements, and are all equally awesome :)

I agree with my fellow Local Soror. I know that my sorority would be very hesitant for the simple fact that being a part of a sorority is not like a club that you can quit and just join another one if you don't like it.

Before initiation you have a new member/associate member/ etc process. During this process you get to know the traditions of your chapter and sisterhood. You learn the history, participate in activities with the members. If you don't feel that you belong, then you have the option to quit pledging before initiation. Sure it is totally different when you are a member, because you are even more involved....but in life you make decisions make sure you chose wisely.

If you were just initiated, then I say don't quit. Obviously you accepted your bid for a reason, and continued with the new member process for a reason as well. If you have concerns about your sorority not being what you thought it was during the NM process-talk to your sisters about how you can change that. Chances are if this is the case it will keep happening and weaken your chapter.

Don't quit...just get involved and take pride in your decisions-because you wouldn't have decided to join if you didn't want to be part of the organization.

check your pm