Dr. Veronica Corpening, M.D. (Spinoff of "Tired Black Man")
 

Greekchatters, meet Dr. Veronica Corpening, M.D.

She is the ultimate "wife doctor". Pretty, smart, and above all, a truly traditional-minded sista. Dang, I wish I knew her back in the day, cause I would've married her for sure (she has been happily married for 18+ years--I'm sure the husband is one blessed man, no doubt).

Here is her website. Check out her Fox interview with Neil Cavuto, where she ran circles around him. Also of note is her videos of her in action, located in the "Videos" link.

Now this is one Black American Woman I can dig fa' sho! ;) :D
A woman after my own heart.

Dr. Veronica Corpening, M.D.

I agree with a lot of what she's saying but this is taking tooooo far!



You cannot blame the person who's been cheated upon. Her husband could be cheating on her right now and she wouldn't know it!

Re: Dr. Veronica Corpening, M.D. (Spinoff of "Tired Black Man")
 

She is something special.

i won't lie....that woman is bad.


i'd be her am candy, lol.

It must work for her b/c it couldn't work for me. If my fiance came home and I turned off Dr. Phil to say, how was your day...he'd look at me like I was nutz. Then he'd ask if I broke something or wanted to buy something. LOL

Basically. Like, if a woman caters to a man's EVERY needs, that automatically means he's going to stay his butt at home. Chick, please! :rolleyes:

I am not married, but I can understand where she's coming from *BUT* it's a two-way street. A) Every woman desiring love does not need it to come from a man; it needs to come from HERSELF. Loving her own being has to be there before she can devote jack to anyone else. :mad: B) My mother'd be damned if she dropped what she was doing to please Mr. T. Yeah right!:rolleyes: They've been married nearly 35 years and let me tell you, he knows what he has to do and she knows what she has to do. It's a PARTNERSHIP, not a brothel/spa day. He has to nuture her and she nurtures him. And that isn't GRANTED; it's earned. From both ends.

enigma_AKA

She hass some valid points but I feel like she's letting men off the hook. Yes her marriage has worked but what works for her and her husband may not work for other marriages. It's ok to share what works for you. Some people might pick up on that and utilize it in their own lives. You can't however, come across like your methods will work for everyone.

Hey, everyone !!! This is what I just wrote in her blog...

I have a bone to pick with Veronica!!! I am a 26 year old African-American female. Oh, and forgot to mention, single LOL. Some day I aspire to be a great wife and mother. But I am not the "submissive" type who does whatever anyone tells her to do. I also believe that household chores should be shared with whomever lives in the house. I cook because I love food, NOT because it is my job!! I clean because I was taught that cleanliness is Godliness, So I have a problem cleaning up after "grown folk" esp. if you are not disabled mentally or physically. I believe that I will be able to balance my career and home life but I KNOW that I will not be able to do all of that without the support of a good husband. As far as his needs are concerned... I'll be there to take care of them BUT he has to meet my needs as well! I foreone am a very visual person so he should maybe dress nice for me in the bedroom. Of course, I'll do the same although I hate anything lacy.

Now, I agree with somethings that you have had to say but I will never, ever, EVER...completely give myself to someone unless they are prepared to do the same!! I'm tired of women doing all these things and get nothing in return!!! Yea, I think you are letting men off the hook just like the rest of society has done. What about my needs? Why should I put my needs aside for someone who could careless about fulfilling mine! I better leave before I get in trouble lol

p.s. If you know any man that loves to cooks. Send him my way!

First, there is NOTHING wrong with the idea of submission within the confines of a Christian marriage. NOTHING! I believe there is a thread on that discussion in which we delved in-dept into that idea and topic.

Found it! :)

Obey? Submit? What Do You Think?

One type of woman is not necessarily better or worse than the other (submissive vs independant). If one or the other is not your cup of tea, then great, but please be sure to find a significant other that has that same mindset as you. As fine as he/she may be, if you two aren't on the same page concerning something as basic as this, then there should be no surprise to the discord that you will be bound to have.

I am educated and successful careerwise and I don't have a problem cooking for my SO or catering to his needs. But that's me and it works for us. You do what works for you.

Ummm Okay... So, what do you need in return from him?:o I mean, there is nothing wrong with catering to your man but don't you have needs as a woman?? I feel that this is the reason why so many women end up being so attached to guys because they revolve their lives around their men.

Also, I read that couples must submit to one another but for some reason people neglect to point that out but whatever. And there is a difference between submissive and submit.

"An African-American who proudly voted for George Bush in the most recent election..."

why is this necessary to include on her site?

If making a relationship work was as easy as "tip for tap" (what you do for me = what I do for you) I don't think anyone would ever get married. LOL :o :cool:

Who knows...But she is too extreme for my blood!

I'm saying. I thought RainMan liked the type of woman who didn't have to 'boast ' about her achievements. I did and it's not something I brag about; it's something I did. Not proudly or un-proudly; I just did it. Homegirl is trying to hard to make a point. She sounds like what some of us other Black conservatives call a 'puppet'. :rolleyes:


enigma_AKA

Eleven Commandments for a Smart Woman:

1.Thou shalt keep all thine expectations grounded in reality.

2.Thou shalt never forget thine priorities or thine sense of self.

3.Thou shalt not wait -on- any man more than he waits on you.

4.Thou shalt not wait -for- any man more than he waits on you.

5.Thou shalt not spend more time analyzing any man`s problems than you spend understanding your own.

6.Thou shalt not turn any mortal man into thine own personal god.

7.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour`s drama.

8.Thou shalt judge all men, not by their words, but by the consistency of their deeds.

9.Thou shalt not tolerate any form of abuse.

10.Thou shalt develop thine own talents, thine own potential, and thine own independence.

11.Thou shalt be fair to the men in thine life and expect fairness in return.

Pretty Sunshine,

As I stated earlier, what works for me may not work for you just as what works for you may not work for me. The idea of submission is a WHOLE lot more than just "what you do for me and vice versa" and the fact that you see the word "submission" and just run off on a tangent of steretypes speaks volumes.

Catering to your man has NOTHING to do with wrapping your whole life around a guy or the idea that a woman has no identity of her own. And who said that the man does nothing in return? LOL . Please click on the link I provided to learn more because there you will find the detail.

As I stated earlier, one "type" is neither better nor worse than the other. What matters is what works for you and yours. If you don't like it or believe it..cool, but that CERTAINLY does not mean that your way or idea is the "end all, be all" to making a relationship work.

yeah, i feel what you saying. every other sentence on her page is her webmaster biggin her up for being a "wife, doctor and mother." dont see why that seems like an anomaly.

now i dont see how this is a "spin-off" to the TBM thread, but what Ms. WifeMD is doing doesnt seem like a race thing at all. its her making a dollar off of telling the world "do *this* and *that* to keep your man around."

Because the issue (from the other thread) really is about how Rainman has been picking the wrong women who happened to be black. lol I think it was enigma_aka that stated this, but everything he despised about black women can be found in all women. No one race or ethnicity is immune from a few bad apples.

And she's not special. Plenty of women believe what she believes (i.e. Honeykiss1974) and they don't get paid, don't get guest appearances on television or their own website. :rolleyes: Besides, ALL successful marriages don't work on one formula; they work off of many. Her philosophy, clearly, won't work for a lot of women, obviously.

I read a book, written in the 70's, about the different approaches to marriage. "Men, Women and Change: The Sociology of Marriage" discussed, I think, 3 different styles--the nurturer/housewife, the partner/50-50, and the career wife. It also talked about how race, education and sex identification plays into marital decisions. Y'all should check it out! ;)

Sidenote~Did anyone see that episode of 'Wife Swap' (or 'Trading Spouses'--I don't remember which one) where the woman had the super-subservient husband (and kids)? :mad: And when she switched households, the other man was practically the complete opposite of where she came from? It was wierd. Some people are insane. :o I'm glad my parents are relatively normal. :D(<-----came from a part partnership, part nurturer household :))

enigma_AKA

I came up in the nurturer/100-100 household. So, I guess it is really difficult for me to see things any other way. And they say women look for men who are like thier fathers and I just found that out to be true. One thing about my parents...They took care of each other, even if it meant doing things out of their element. That is apart of what true love is.

But, PrettySunshine, sometimes 'true love' to some means doing all you can for your partner. For instance, for my parents, it was my mother taking care of my father 110%. You see, my father has MS and it's difficult for him to do things by himself. She had to work full time, finish her degree(s) and take care of 3 nappy headed children (and then a fourth b/c my 'rents adopted my little cousin) while my father stayed at home. Is that 50/50? Heck naw. Sometimes it was more like 80/20. And my mother had NOOO problem with doing that. And in other instances, my mother cooked and cleaned while all my father, when was fully able, did nothing but go to work and basically come home. It aint for everybody, but it was for THEM.

And then, my dad would do all the cooking and cleaning, the nurturing of the kids when Mom was away and taking care of business. Kinda like a househusband. :p Some women might not feel that's okay. Some women might feel that her husband has to be, as the good Dr :rolleyes: said, that it is her role to be carer/nurturer and his role to be hunter/gatherer. But that doesn't mean their love is any less 'true'; it also means that she might thoroughly enjoy 'catering to her man'--whatever that means.

It also means that Dr. Wife needs to stop blanketing roles for women :rolleyes: and get with the program, though. She says some mess sometimes.

enigma_AKA

I agree with who ever said I dont see how this is a spin off to the Tired Black man Thread.

What Dr C was saying was hardly earth shattering. I believe that the man is called to be the head of household. I'm would say that I *think* that many, if not most, women dont have a problem with being submissive and loving to their husband. But there HAS to be a two way street. No one wants to be with someone who is constantly taking but never giving.

Rainman I dont see the connection.

Yea, but that is a different situation. I would also take care of my husband in that way and would hope that he'd do the same. But I mean when you have two "healthy" people and one just sits around and does nothing all day. I just cannot comprehend that.

Personally, I would not like to have someone waiting on me hand and foot. Help me out a bit but do everything for me...no.

That's what I meant before about Daddy coming in after work and Mom's having the food on the table AT 6.00 PM. She didn't HAVE to; she wanted to. And MS is the type of disease that *sometimes* symptoms come and go. Consequently, there were times that my father was at home ill and times when he was at home without exacerbations of his illness. He was able bodied, but he didn't go to work at some point. And for some time, it was okay with my mother. Besides, when I was younger, she herself stayed at home with me until I was about 4. And it was still okay. And when he did go to work, Mom still cooked and cleaned. I guess you can say it gave her peace (that is, until the CHANGE, lol!)

You can't comprehend it because that's not the type of love YOU need. It's not the same for everyone. When I said it was a partnership, that is defined by the couple. A give and take. If she wants to give to man completely, she should do so. Now, *I* cannot be 'stuck' at home, nor will *I* have a husband who will be 'stuck' at home because it doesn't work for ME. It doesn't work for a lot of couples; thankfully, for those whom it doesn't work for, they don't have that type of relationship. For those who do enjoy the carer/hunter partnership, they do their own thing and experience 'true love' by their own definition. ;)

enigma_AKA

That assertion is incorrect.

Matter of fact, I stated in no uncertain terms in the TBM thread that the central issue was moreso with WESTERN women in general than with black women in particular. That is what prompted me to start the DrWifeMD thread to begin with.

Ahhh, stereotypes and misconceptions abound in here. :( Too many that are so ridiculous and lack common sense that I don't even have the energy to address them.

And Rainman, I will clarify - you have an issue with black western women. Apparently, you've dated them all and have determined that we are all alike.

Sorry, but I have no compassion for people that think like you. Its no different than some white people who go around thinking all blacks steal, are lazy, on welfare, or whatever...simply based on a FEW experiences that they've had. If we all know that that type of thinking in flawed in terms of race, why is it not in terms of catergorizing all black western women?

Shoot, the posts in this thread alone should tell you that we ARE NOT all alike. But anyway....

Relationships
 

Has anyone actually read "Marriage Connection" a newsletter by "Marriage Partnership" published by ChristianityToday.com?

Some of the articles are extremely helpful in my marriage. Just how to be married. And some of the books they recommend, like those of Gary Chapman, are very good. Others, like "His Needs, Her Needs"--well I don't relate to what the author is saying. I'm not the one who has "desire" issues to keep it simple...

RM-

I wouldn't be so quick to discount an American (westernized) sistah as much as you are ready to. You really are in a tough location to meet quality women, generally... You need to visit locations, other than ATL or DC, to meet the kind of women you desire...





I do think some of what Veronica is saying is accurate. Most of what she said is for the "soundbite" and "political". But girlfriend ain't struggling tryin' to make ends meet with a no-good man. Her man does right by her. Either he or she chose well when the hooked up. But something tells me that homegirl is 'bout to leave her man for some reason... Not because he did anything wrong, she just wants it all to herself--'specially when her kids are grown and outta the house...

Which brings us back to this "Americanized western woman" concept of "independence". Non-westernized women may do more for their husbands because their options are limited, but they also have family support--like mother's helping out with the care of children, etc. Most American western women have lost that kind of support because usually the "grandparents" are ready to play after they retire. If I had kids, although I know my mom and dad would move up where I am and help me if I "begged" them to, I wouldn't do it... 1) My husband would resent me for it. 2) 'Cuz my folks would probably drive me nuts. 3) His folks-specially my MIL would definitely put me in the looney bin...

But in other cultures, that is how they do it still. I respect that. But for some reason our economy and cultural shift no longer supports that...

Damn...........I knew she was too good to be true.

Re: Relationships
 

WTH?

AKA_Monet, what are you basing this^^ statement on? I live in NE Ohio and frequently business travel to Columbus (where I think, RM lives). Trust, beautiful black sistahs (and from a variety of ethnic/cultural backgrounds) are on constant display. Constant.

If you know yourself, and approach folk in that manner, you can interact with women who interest you. (I mean, isn't this obvious?)

Update for HK74
 

HK, lemme explain what prompted all this to begin with:

Last summer I found an online discussion forum that discussed the issues (personal, professional, and romantic) that American men had with American women. I got into some of the discussions and was able to relate in some respects, but it wasn't until an incident with who I thought was the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman (something very minor and trivial that I did out of love got blown out of proportion, in a nutshell) occured Christmas of last year that sealed the deal for me and had me sold that AWs were, well incorrigible.

Fast forward to today. Myself and the young lady did not speak to each other for 4 months, though I will tell you that my motives for not speaking was out of a growing hate for her (and a high resentment for women in general). So today, during our worship, we were told to lift the burden of heaviness, which God prompted me that my heaviness burden was b/t myself and her, and that I should try and reconcile our differences. Well, after service I did that and was rewarded with the most vile and nasty attitude I had ever seen in all the 7 years I had known her.

So I go to my pastor and try to explain what had happened and about my resentment with AWs and feminism. He said that I should find an associate pastor and arrange a spiritual mediation b/t myself and her to find out what the core problem is. He also said that he himself at one time had a problem with black women after he was divorced from his first wife, and that his 2nd wife reinstated his love and trust in black women. I say that only because I think God is trying to tell me something. Whatever that is remains to be seen.

Anyway...we'll see what happens.

Talk to you later :)

Re: Update for HK74
 

RM, sometimes you need to leave well enough alone.

If you went to the woman to try to reconcile your differences, and she wasn't responding the way you think she was, and if you know you did everything you were supposed to do short of stalking her, then leave it alone. She obviously doesn't want to be bothered, or to re-establish that relationship. And I'm not trying to single you out or embarrass you, but if you're having all these problems, have you taken a look at your "technique" to see if it's something wrong that YOU'RE doing?

There are still a lot of good women out there. But if you're going around with a placard with "Looking for a Proverbs 31 woman" on it, then you're likely not going to find her that way. Are you being the Godly man that you're supposed to be? You work on Rainman, or rather let God work on you, while allowing Him also to handle the rest. Did you read also in that chapter that "her husband is known in the gates. . ."? How are YOU known? Are you known for being a Godly witness, or someone just taking up space in the pew? You might not be quite as ready for that Proverbs 31 woman as you think.

Just my Monday morning thoughts. . .

Re: Re: Update for HK74
 

That IMHO is part of the problem; it has led to a lot of passive-aggresive behavior that IMHO is not godly, and should be stopped NOW

That's entirely possible, hence the need for mediation. If I'm gonna be called a moron for trying to make things right, I want it done by an impartial party that knows both of us well and can look at a heart with spiritual eyes.

Quote:

There are still a lot of good women out there. But if you're going around with a placard with "Looking for a Proverbs 31 woman" on it, then you're likely not going to find her that way...

I'm not looking for ANYONE, and haven't in over 2 years. That in part accounts for my finding that discussion board and writing off Western women as a loss.


'Preciate it. ;)

Re: Re: Re: Update for HK74
 

I see what you are saying. But I have to agree with btb87 that you need to leave well enough alone. One thing about AA women if we are mad about something, leave us alone for a while, we will eventually come around. Pushing the issue will can make it turn ugly when it doesnt have to.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Update for HK74
 

Speaking from my observations and experiences, by doing nothing, it has only made the situation that much more volatile. And I can almost guarantee you that without some intervention, this volatility will intensify over time, because spirits of anger, resentment, and even quite possibly hate, will fester and linger.

It has to be stopped now.

Btb87 just dropped some serious knowledge for it to be a Monday morning rambling.

But remember RainMan, when we seek out forgiveness, the bible tells use that once you have done all that you can to rectify the situation and the person does not respond, then you've done all you can you do - as btb87 said you've got to just leave it alone. Let God work on her - He doesn't need your assistance. :) The best thing you can do for this woman is to pray for her.

But at the same time, work on yourself. DO NOT let this bad experience fester into bitterness in your heart towards black american women. You'll could very well EASILY miss out on your blessing.

HK, do you have a scriptural reference for the above? I'm interested in reading that when I get home tonight.

I love Wife Swap! I was originally VERY opposed to the concept however, it looks like they try to place the wife with a family that is very opposite to hers so that she and the other family can see what the other half lives like. Based on the discussions that the couples have afterwards, the experience helps each family find balance and not live so extreme to one philosophy or lifestyle.

This show DOES prove that there is more than one way to have a successful marriage. One formula CANNOT work for every couple because each situation is unique based on the background and character of the individuals involved as well as the financial, social and cultural environment in which the couple resides.

Psalm 37



And RainMan, btb87 and Honeykiss gave you EXCELLENT advice. Just trust in God and let Him take care of the situation. You don't need someone to "mediate" the situation. I have read your thoughts over the years here and I think you just need a sympathetic friend. You should have looked me up when you came to DC.

I feel your pain and frustration cause I know how sisters can be sometime but you can't knock us all. I've been hurt too many times to count and I still get up, do my thang, raise my children and help others with theirs and I still LOVE THE BLACK MAN!

I really wish you well.

Matthew 18

Also, Charles Stanley has a great devotional concerning forgiveness to:
Steps To Forgiving Others By Charles Stanley

In observing Dr. Corpening's photo album, she seems to be "so happy" to be married, that she's barely hugging her husband. To me, she seems happiest when she's in solo shots.