What to do?
 

What did you/are you going to do with your fraternity/sorority stuff when you graduated? I'm moving in with my fiance who is a GDI and have a feeling that he's not going to let me display my stuff like I have for the past 4 years. What should I do with it all? I've got gazillions of t-shirts, plaques, picture frames, etc and obviously don't want to just throw it away....

Re: What to do?
 

There are so many things wrong with this statement I don't know where to begin.

Re: Re: What to do?
 

Amens.

Re: Re: What to do?
 

well i just mean like i have Teddy Bears and composites and picture frames and everything AXiD EVERYWHERE. I live in my sorority house so it's just all Alpha Xi. I don't mean that he won't let me but I just know he won't want it everywhere in the apartment.

key phrases:

he's your fiance.
he won't "let you"
past 4 years

check up on it.





ya relationship, that is. seriously.

ok there's no need to judge my relationship. you don't even know me.

i just asked a simple question and would like a simple answer. is that too much to ask? i didn't come here to be judged.

If you "let" him make decisions fot you as your fiance, do you seriously think it's going to be different when you are married? Wake up and smell the shitty relationship. No man should tell you what to do...

Grow some ova. Tell him how it's going to be or tell him to find someone else to be his idiot.

Oh, and if you put your relationship out there, it stands to reason that it will be judged.

I'm getting a quilt made out of my old t-shirts, except for a few that I'm keeping for the gym, etc. Could you also give some stuff to your little sister? My chapter has an auction at the end of the year where seniors sell some of their stuff back to the younger members.

My chapter did that as well.

Throughout the year, members earn "Alpha Gam Dollars" for every A or B they receive on a test/quiz, paper, etc...for turning in their dues and study sheets on time, etc.

At the end of the year, the VP Scholarship asks for donations for the auction. Usually she hits up the outgoing seniors and recent alums for stuff they don't want anymore.

I know where your coming from because I myself wouldn't want my apartment looking like a dorm room. I have my stuff boxed up, except two paddles. It was common in my house that when a guy moved out and graduated that he gave his things ( letters, shirts, flags) to the newer guys in the house. Kind of like passing down the batton if you will.

Tippie-

Just because some guy doesnt want to live in an AXiD museum doesn't mean he's some controlling asshole.

Select a few items to keep out, put the rest in a box, and rotate them throughout the year.

No, but if he refuses to allow a major part of her life to a be a part of their new life together it sends up quite a few red flags.

My husband doesn't want to live in a dorm room. Neither do I. But, he does know that if he tried to throw out any of my composites, t-shirts, badge holder, badge, keepsakes from my Zeta days he'd find himself sleeping on the front lawn. And, I understand that I have to deal with his god-awful Gator things. It's called compromise.

At the end of our senior year, we willed lots of our stuff to the younger members - so stuff that you'd accumulated (and received thru wills) over the years was often given away. I saved the few items that I wanted to keep - shirts that I want to make into a quilt, select other items, but gave away lots of my other things.

quillio- Okay, I understand what you're asking :)

My FI and I went through this issue a while ago, so we understand. Since we both had overall good relationships w/our respective chapters we still wanted to keep that connection yet we knew we didn't want our place to double as a dorm room. One thing we did is put our most important stuff (big/lil paddles, special pics) in a designated room, which in our case was the computer room. Our favorite pics went into nice subtle frames (you know, not the kind that have the giant XYZ letters on it, heh) that blended well w/our family pics. So, just mingle his pics w/yours! :)

Now, I have a ton-o-lambs from my time in my sorority. If you have a ton of the plush stuff I'd advise you to keep a handful and give the rest to the younger members! :) Oh, and just get an album or two to keep the rest of your "college" pics, c'mon, you thought you were going to keep those high school pics forever, didn't you? :p

I gave most of my stuff to girls in the chapter, except for my paddle which is hanging on my wall, my shirts and a few keepsakes. I needed to shrink down my shrine, as my roommate called it. Don't make the man live in an A Xi D museum, but keep some stuff out. Little stuff. I guarantee you that he will have something that you hate and you'll need some leverage (i.e. "Remember how I put most of my sorority stuff up? I'm just asking you to put the 8 foot plastic swordfish in the closet...")

I see what you're asking - I'm sure he'll let you have SOME Alpha Xi stuff, just not as much as before. I would consider having a t-shirt quilt made, which will be comfy in the rec room and still let your stuff stand out - if you went to college together maybe you can put some of his college tees from intramurals or clubs or whatever in there too.

I'd try to keep the really important stuff - I know I have a lot of Gamma Phi stuff that was cute, but wasn't very significant, that I have boxed up now, and I periodically give back to my chapter or sell on eBay. I still keep my pin box out and a paddle and one composite on the wall, but not the huge extent I had when I lived in the chapter house.

Jocelyn, I agree with what you're saying and have recently been down that road. I would have several things hanging in my home Sigma Nu related, but don't since it's "our" home. Each of us have equal veto power over the walls. She doesn't get to hang up pictures of cats, I don't get to hang up Sigma Nu stuff.

When we get a house this summer, and I have one of the spare bedrooms for "my stuff," then I'll hang some Sigma Nu stuff in there no doubt.

But until then, we've actually done quite well acquiring things that we both like for decorative purposes.

That's one of the big challenges of living together. It's no longer "my" stuff, it's "our" stuff.

If fiancé's demands are one way, there might be a problem. Otherwise, this question needs not be asked.

I compromised with my husband about my stuff. In our computer/study room, I have my certificate of membership framed & mounted on the wall as well as 1 composite of my senior year (I love that pic). I also have 2 pillows that were made by my 2 big sisters for me displayed in a lounging chair in this room. It's tasteful & doesn't look like one huge Sigma Kappa homage room. It's an interesting mix of my stuff & his baseball stuff in here. It's eclectic but we like it & it doesn't clutter up the rest of the house.
As for my shirts, I usually wear them around the house or to run errands. I want to mount my paddles but haven't found the perfect place for them yet.

I have other pics of myself w/sisters scattered throughout the house. My husband likes those pics b/c he knows the women in them & thinks they look great.

The rest of my stuff is boxed up. I do like the suggestion that a previous poster mentioned regarding rotating things around. Perhaps one day in the future I'll take this stuff down & put up something else like a different composite.

i'm moving in with my man in a few weeks and with the little space we have i'm thinking about turning the downstairs half bath into a little sk shrine, at least for a little while. when i finally get a more permanent dwelling i'm planning to display some of my stuff in a glass bookshelf case.. all those knick knacks and stuffed animals and picture frames will look cute in there i think.

I plan on marrying a sorority girl (because it would be ridiculous not to) and we'll have our respective shrines in the house, I'm sure.

One of my sisters kept an ADPi themed guest room in her home! :) But I agree with some of the above posters-- it is all about compromise.

I keep some of the more important/significant APO stuff out (like my paddle - that hangs over my bed!) and have the rest put away.

Re: What to do?
 

Doesn't sound too promising. :rolleyes:

Our seniors always do hand-me-downs. I've got letters from the late 80's that have just been passed down through my tree. It's sort of a tradition to pass that stuff down through your line. The thing is that you just end up with a MOUNTAIN of TD stuff...I mean, leighs, maragrita glasses, ugly cat gifts (tradition is to give a HIDEOUS cat gift!), mardi gras beads (usualy saved from novelty party...I still have mine!), etc. etc. I plan on keeping quite a few special TD things for myself, but most of it will be handed down to my littles and others. The shirts are going to be interesting because I'm rather attached to some of them.

If I walked into a friend's house or apartment and I saw fraternity stuff all over I would think he's a loser and stop being his friend. Heck why not have bean bags, neon bud light signs, and beer cans from around the world everywhere?

There is a difference between one piece somewhere and going to get a glass of water and seeing letters, putting on a tshirt with letters, seeing a paddle on a wall, seeing a membership certificate on the wall, seeing a picture frame with letters, writing a note on a pad of paper with letters.

And if I saw a girl with all that crap, I'd tell her the same thing. It's ridiculous to have all that crap and she should get rid of it and give it to some kids in college. The older I get and see advisors still involved with fraternity life that centers around the college experience I'm still amazed that they have the patience to put up with all of the small things.

-Rudey

Most of my things (certificates, etc.) are stored away in my closet. The only items I still use are a couple of glasses/cups, and some old t-shirts and sweatshirts.

I really don't have a ton of AXO stuff--and never did outside of the sorority house. My membership cert, paddles, etc., are in storage at my parents' house in Florida, and have been since I graduated from college. We had "Senior Bequest," where the seniors gave things to the younger sisters.

When I moved in w/ the Mr., who's not affiliated, it wasn't that big a deal, even though he's not the most pro-Greek person. I keep the most recent copy of the Lyre on the coffee table, obviously with our other magazines. I have 2 AXO frames with pictures of sisters who are my friends now. I have an AXO quilt.

Did you just graduate, or are you about to graduate soon? I know that the stuff seems really important now--but once you're away from a college campus, you'll want "adult" furniture and decorations.

I'd say set up a shrine for the more important stuff. It's the happy medium between leaving everything out (and not getting on with your life) and putting everything away in boxes/closets or giving everything away (forgetting a very good part of you life).

As for myself, because I have so few items from my GLO, I think it will be a non-issue on where to put it. I have four or five shirts, a shot glass, a nalgene bottle, car window sticker, and a mug. Once I go alum, I will probably take the window sticker off and only wear my shirts every now and then. But, I will still keep the shot glass and mug in my room or somewhere.

where is my bowing smiley when I need it?

Quillogold, Alpha Xi is a part of your life. He needs to get used to it and get over it!

LET YOU? OH HELL NAW!

I hope you can come to a sensible compromise

definitely the best thing i've read on here

Without a doubt, sorority girls are the only ones to pay attention to. About the fraternity/sorority stuff, it gets kind of annoying. I mean, I'll keep my paddle for my kid, but thats about it. I guess I don't take my fraternity membership THAT seriously.