Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Bajan_Delta, I already sent my congrats to you. Angel, Congratulations to you as well. Both of you just keep in mind that the wedding is only one day, the marriage is a lifetime. I know a couple who spent $50K on their wedding. To this day, they regret spending that much money. I had a very elegant but simple wedding. It was family and close friends, only about 75 people. We got married in July and had just bought a house that May, so we were on a real budget. All in all, it was very nice. I did it on a Friday evening @ 6pm to cut cost as well. I have family members who cater and they did that for us as a wedding gift. All we had to pay for was the reception facility which was a Hilton Hotel ballroom, attire, decorations and other odds and ins. Oddly enough, the hotel allowed you to use your own caterer and they gave up a complimentary suite for 2 nights. Then we went on our honeymoon to Orlando, FL. My husband had never been to Walt Disney World. Another tip that I found useful is to not spend a lot of money on invitations. People look at them up until your wedding then they throw them away.

Anyway, those are my tips. I'm excited for both of you! I remember how it is to plan a wedding. It can also be stressful so take time just for the two of you and don't let anyone's views cloud what you both envision for your day.

Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Well thank you very much for the well wishes and the advice. I am sure open to any other advise that sorors and sisterfriends may have to offer. We are budgeting for up to $10,000 and not a penny more. If it looks like it's going to go over that we are going to go to the justice of peace and get hitched. The wedding money will then be used to purchase a home.

Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Aw, congratulations everybody :)

So BrnSuga, you have me thinking about my own wedding plans (over a year distant tho' my wedding is): That is depressing about the invitations - that never occured to me. I wanted to try to make mine myself (myself actually meaning me and anyone else I can con into helping me) to save money, but that is a lot of effort just to be thrown away ... would it be offensive if I bought not-so-expensive invitations for most people and then just made the nice invitations for the people who I know would appreciate them and keep them?

Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

That's exactly what a Soror of mine is doing. She had 100 professionally done and is using others as a back-up.

And you know some folks don't need invitations, 'cause they'll come anyway whether you invite them or not. . .

Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

DSTRen13,
One of my sorors created her own invitations using her computer. She simply used the software to create the cards (I think it's standard in the latest versions of Microsoft Office or soemthing like that) and typed in the text in a font that she chose. She bought the heavier card stock paper and printed them on her personal home printer. Afterward, she folded them and placed tissue paper inside to catch any excess ink, and slipped them into the mail. She basically only paid for the paper, tissue paper and the envelopes so she was able to keep it as inexpensive (or as expensive) as she chose the paper and envelopes to be. I came over and helped her fold the invitations and it took us about an hour and we got to catch up on our lives so it was fun. They were by far the prettiest and least cookie cutter invitation that I have seen in awhile b/c she was able to choose her wording, font, placement of text, etc.

SC

Re: Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Awww heck to the naw! :p :rolleyes: :D

That was good advice on the invites. I'm still toying with the idea of making them myself.

I know I will be making the programs myself.

Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

Soror, this is how you do it.

Look at all the things you have to buy for the wedding. Rate the most important to you, 1 being the most important through say, 10.

If invitations aren't that important, scrap it and spend the money on something that you feel is most important.

IMHO, I think you should have one invitation. don't make it cheap, and don't make it ridiculously expensive.

there are ways to make invitations look stunning, yet inexpensive.
for ex: thermography is cheaper, but looks the same.

Soror, when's the wedding? We just set a date: 10/20/07: Sweetest Day! :D

Re: Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

It's silly, but I'm a scrapbook person, so anything that will matter in a scrapbook I want to look good, lol. (Therefore, things have to at least be nice enough to look good in photos ... ;) )

We don't have a date set yet - I graduate this May, but he doesn't until May 2007, so we'll get married in summer or fall of 2007 (once he has a job).

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This is great advice. I actually was planning to do that any way. I have decided that it's not that important for me to have flowers on each table so I will use candelabras instead. They give the room an awesome glow. Invitations are not that important to me either, they just need to not be tacky. The food needs to be excellent cause West Indian people will talk about you:)

I'm taking the plunge 08/08. I'll be Mrs. "Jamaican".

Re: Re: Re: Re: Wedding Tips for the Newly Engaged
 

shooo...that's our people PERIOD.

I'm thinking of a late evening wedding with a cocktail reception.

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What exactly does a cocktail reception entail. Obviously cocktails, but how does it differ from a regular reception?

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From THE KNOT

If you're looking for a classy, low-cost, low-stress option, a cocktail reception may be for you. This type of reception focuses on hors d'oeuvres -- either all stationary or passed, or some stationary and some passed -- instead of a full meal, and guests stand and chat holding small, snack-laden plates while trying to balance their wine glasses.

Making sure guests know that a full meal will not be served is one of the most important factors to consider when planning a cocktail reception. Simply word your invitations like this: "Please join us for a cocktail reception after the ceremony." Keep in mind that your guests will eat more hors d'oeuvres than they would during a cocktail hour that is followed by a meal. So you'll want to pump up the volume and/or variety of foods you serve. Also, people will probably drink more than they would if they were sitting down to eat -- so your liquor costs could go way up.


Hope this answers for you!


:D

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Thanks!!!! It sure does clear it up. Girl I have my foreign moments sometimes. :D

I friend of mine is considering have a early morning wedding followed by a brunch style reception. It's cheaper because of the type of food being served. As far as drinks, she's having mimosas and other traditional brunch beverages (orange juice, apple juice, hot teas and coffee) instead of a champagne fountain, which should also cut cost.

As far as the invitations, I opted for a classic white card invitation with black fancy styled lettering. They were classy and very elegant but, because I didn't have them printed in colored ink, I saved a lot of money. My colors were periwinkle, platinum and white. Also, the church that we used had the candleabras and a kneeling bench already present, so we didn't have to rent those items.

I also have heard a lot of couples say that they chose one thing as a BIG ticket item. In our case it was the photographer. We didn't compromise on our wedding pictures. On everything else we were on a very strict budget. I even solicited help from one of my uncles for the videography.

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Now see, my folk would *really* talk about me if I had them fly all the way across the country and I fed them hors d'oeuvres! LOL

I don't see how a cocktail reception would ever work in my case but it is definitely "food for thought." (pun intended)

SC

[hijak]

BrnSuga, your color scheme is GORGEOUS! Also, your friends' early morning wedding / brunch reception is one more item to log in my "ideas for someday" folder.

[/hijak]

I have a question: Is it in bad taste to have a cash bar or should I pay for an open bar? My fiance and I are do not drink (and neither do our immediate families), so we are not pressed to have it. I would like to save the money towards something else, but I don't want to be seen as tacky or cheap....

Is there a way to compromise?

Two ideas:

They used this at a formal for an association I belong to - everyone got a "ticket" for one free drink, and then it was a cash bar the rest of the night.

OR

My boss' daughter's wedding, they bought all the alcohol themselves and brought it to the reception hall. That way they saved on the catering company mark up, and there was a limit to how much could be served, so they wouldn't end up with a surprise bar tab later.

I don't know if I'll be able to bring all that alcohol, but I like the first idea...

Traditionally, it is bad taste to have guest pay for anything associated with your wedding, including alcohol, although you see people doing it now. Other compromises including having a "cocktail hour" where drinks are served for the first hour or 2 then stop serving; only have wine and beer, no hard liquor or don't serve alcohol at all.

R U N!!!

I'm just kidding. I've been married for ten years, now, and marriage is...something special.

My advice would be to just believe the wedding vows. Things get better...and worse. You'll be richer...and poorer. Expect it to ebb and flow. And love him, even when he's not being very lovable.

I piggyback on what was previous said, it is considered poor taste. Also to be honest if you have a crowd that enjoys alcohol spring for it, it will change your reception like no other.

Free liqour + pigment enchanced people= Damn good reception!!

People still tell us about our reception...:p

I don't know what I'm going to do about alcohol at our wedding - my family is not big on alcohol (my grandparents are convinced that if you drink at all you must be an alcoholic, of course, and quite likely possessed by Satan besides), whereas Mr. DSTRen13's family is ... much more friendly toward alcoholic substances of all kinds, and generally expect it at all functions (and all times, as far as I can tell ...). A lot of these people will be meeting for the first time at our wedding, and I really am sort of afraid about the reception ... I'm hoping that some sort of wine and cheese hour type thing will be acceptable to everyone.

Oprah's show today was great for those who are engaged or married.
Recommended reading:
Lies at the Alter by Dr. Robin Smith

Congratulations to the engaged folks.

A few tips, off the top of my head:

The wedding is just one day. The marriage is a lifetime. Whether you drop $100,000 on your wedding day and invite 5000 of your closest friends and serve them a full seven-course meal and a Dom Perignon champagne toast, or you have a nice quiet ceremony with just your families and closest friends, you're just as married.

Remember the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules. If your parents are footing the bill, they get to have a lot more say in where the wedding takes place, whether the reception is a sit-down dinner or buffet or cocktail hour or cake and punch, who gets invited, etc.

As for alcohol, I'd suggest making it available within limits. A cash bar is generally considered tacky. When my husband and I got married, the package included a 1-hour open bar. Once the cocktail hour was over, we decided to offer only wine. Nobody complained and everyone had fun.

Have fun with the wedding planning, and don't stress... too much :)

I really appreciate all of your responses, they were very informative. It seems the general consensus is to keep it open, but I do like the compromise of having a time limit. I will see if that option is open. Our entire wedding will be in a hotel, so I don't think they will have a problem with that!

Thanks so much!!

First of Congratulations to ALL the wonderful people heading towards the altar.

I do wedding coordination as my side job and I really enjoyed reading some of the responses that have been posted.

Always keep in mind that a wedding is supposed to be the celebration of the love you both share not about how much money or gifts you get. I recently received a wedding invitation that had on the bottom of it "Monetary Gifts Perferred".

My husband and I got married almost 7 years ago in the Bahamas. We paid for it ourselves. It was nice and simple. We had about 25 people show up and it was the best day of our lives.

My advice to anyone getting married is to sit down with your spouse and family and make a "REALISTIC" budget. Don't try to impress people by having extravagant ideas that are extremely expensive.

Here are some items to always consider:
1. The reception is where you will spend most of your money.
2. You can't invite the whole world.
3. Try to make that day a reflection of the both of you. If you are a simple couple then your wedding should be simple. You don't have to spend a whole lot of money to have a beautiful day.
4. You should have people in your wedding party that you know truly care about the both of you and your happiness. Don't feel obligated to put anyone in your wedding party that you don't want.
5. Don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help.

I am lucky to have bride whose wedding I am coordinating that is very easy to please and knows what she wants. She is also open to suggestions. For example I made her safe the dates, with a picture of her and her fiance, on my computer and sent them out. Everyone that got them loved them. You would be surprised at how many people really like things that were hand made.

If any of the to be brides would like to talk to me personally you can PM me or call me at 973-953-3837. Good Luck To All of You.:)

Not saying this cause she's my neo, ;) but I'm in a wedding she's coordinating and I must say Steph, knows what she is doing and is well organized.

Thanks for the support.:)

I have a pic of a specific dress I want. However I can not afford this dress ($7000, St. Pucchi dress). I have been toying with the idea of having it recreated. Any thoughts or ideas??

See if anyone you know knows someone who sews and specifically wedding attire and see if they can recreate it or at least come close.

Congratulations to all of the newly-engaged!

I was just reading a reply to this very question in a column in a bridal magazine. The column writer indicated that having guests pay for their drinks is somewhat in poor taste, and that you should just spread the word informally (not in writing) that there will be no alcohol served.

SC

I am providing services for a bride this weekend and she is having a cash bar. She and her fiance have decided to have a $500 tab and once this is used up the guests will have to pay. I don't agree with her but it is not my money. You have to be very careful with this. Alcohol is a very expensive part of a reception.
But it is always expected.

Suggestion if you know that you don't want to pay for alcohol you can definitely make it known in a discreet manner.

P.S. That is why I am glad I got married in the Bahamas our little reception was actually a cocktail hour and we didn't have to spend a lot of money.

I'm considering doing a cocktail hour and then after that maybe wine and beer or something like that. My friends and family aren't huge drinkers but will drink for the right occasion. We like to get a little liquored up so we can party hard:D But another consideration is that I don't want to be responsible for anyone drinking and driving or any drunk monkeys deciding to act a fool at the reception.

I think if you don't want to have alcohol at your wedding than its your choice. There are many reasons people decide not to serve alcohol, from spritual to personal circumstances. I think its ok, to also have a cash bar if you arent' a big drinker or even if you choose. In my opinion guest shouldn't get offended about weddings they aren't paying for. The true purpose is to share in the bride and grooms special day as they committ in front of God.

Hey Stranger. I like the way you put that. Your last sentence is so true.

My fiance and I are serving alcohol at ours. If we don't have the full fledged bar (we have some family and friends that love to drink and par-tay), we're doing champagne only.

I am so focused on the actual marriage that many things that godzillas in a bridal gown would fuss over I just :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I am open to all suggestions and ideas when I need some help, but I don't appreciate people trying to change details set in stone about my wedding like its theirs to plan and their money is on the line.

I've experienced that already, by my fiance's mother who is not putting one dime towards the venue where the ceremony and reception will be held (all in the same place) but had alot to say about where she wants us to have the wedding instead. She got mad when I opened the brochure packet a week and a half later.

But I will say this, my Matron of Honor (who is my soon to be sister in law) has helped me so much and given me so much advice because I was indeed fired up.

Congratulations on your Wedding. Just always try to remember that it is about the love that you have for eachother. When someone tries to give you advice just let it go in one ear and out the other. :)