Thinking about pursuing AI
 

Hello!

I found this board today and am so excited! I had been looking for ways to be involved in Greek life after college and never knew AI was an option.

I graduated from undergrad a few years ago where I was a member of a small local sorority. I am going back to graduate school soon and am thinking about pursuing membership with a group that has a strong alumae chapter in my city and opportunities to mentor/advise undergraduate students at at my university or one of the other schools nearby.

I have a few questions about AI before I initiate this process. First, what are the costs like compared to costs as an undergraduate? Secondly, is it best to start contact with the national, the alumae chapter, or a chapter president?

Thanks! Looking forward to learning more!

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do! When I first started my search, I emailed the international/national headquarters. I usually looked for the person in charge of alumnae relations or a person that was listed as an AI contact. It all depends on which one you want to contact.:)

Unless you know someone in the group, start with the Headquarters. They should put you in touch with the local alumnae chapter. You can also check out the group's website and get a feel for the chapters that are near you so you have a better idea when you talk to the headquarters staff.

Thanks! I know an aluma in one group I might pursue, but she is not in my geographic area. Would it be wise to talk to her first or to Headquarters and have her write me a rec later?

I wouldn't worry that she's not in your geographic area. Depending on her involvement in the organization, she may know people in your area. For example, I know women all over the country due to my involvement with Gamma Phi......

BUT, don't contact her until the word "might" is out of that sentence you wrote.

Now she would be a good contact to tell you what she likes/dislikes about being an alumna in her group.....

I e-mailed the local alumae chapter who then forwarded my e-mail to the district president. She got the ball rolling for me.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it. Had I contacted National first, they probably would have forwarded my e-mail to the same person.

...glad as well
 

The question that I have to the group is this:

I'm 36 years old...I found the e-mail address of the contact person that I need to reach for the sorority that I am really interested in, and I know this is a silly question...but I'm concerned about the following.

1) Will she think it's strange for a woman of my age to consider a sorority through AI?

2) How common is a request to join through AI?

1. no, you're a puppy. There are people older than you who go through AI. Me, for instance.

2. I don't think anyone can really answer that. There aren't any kind of statistics. I

would imagine it's not very common... but it may seem like it on this forum because we have a whole area set aside for AI. It's more common in some sororities than others.

Thanks so much for setting me at ease, as it took me forever to write "the" e-mail and hit that send button.

I explained that I wanted to joing this particular one because of their Philanthropy and because I believe in today's crazy society that the traditional values, ethics, etc that sorority life supports is very critical to women in college and this will very much help them later in their careers.

I also would like to work actively with the local collegiate to help them begin their journey as well--I don't want to be a "wallflower" member or I wouldn't bother to seek membership.

Glad to help. If you have any other questions or just want to chat, feel free to PM me. I'm always happy to assist anyone beginning their AI journey. It can be a really wild and bumpy ride.

Sorority life supporting "traditional values"........that's pretty funny.

I equate that phrase with something the "right" would say and definitely not what I learned in college.

It's actually not "pretty funny." Many sororities, particularly in the south, teach traditional values and ethics. Nothing wrong with that, and perhaps something needed more of! Here's a seminar for Kappa Alpha Theta in California:

http://www.amlgroup.com/seminars.html

TriSigma even has a description about teaching these values on their web page (scroll down and read "true ladies always stand out)

http://www.sigmasigmasigma.org/pages...ians::horizons

Etiquette classes are all the rage for those men and women who hope to climb the corporate ladder. Classes are also now being taught in colleges around the nation.

Good manners never go out of style, and hopefully, don't discriminate between "the right" and the "left."

(some articles for your reference)

http://www.sn.psu.edu/Information/News/28043.htm

http://www.studentprograms.vt.edu/dining/etiquette/

http://www.ulm.edu/universityrelatio...t04/spoon.html

http://www.timesdispatch.com/servlet...35033026&path=!business&s=1045855934855

http://www.asurampage.com/vnews/disp.../443577626ce9f

Sorry but "good manners" is not the same as "traditional values".....I have plenty of one and not much of the other.

Single women in their 30's with no intention of marrying aren't usually considered "traditional".

hmmm... if our founders had wanted us to be "traditional", they wouldn't have even been in college to begin with. I thought sororities are for the advancement of women? Not teaching thing to hold us back?

Or maybe "traditional values" is just a buzz phrase with very negative connotations for some of us.

Maybe you are assuming what she means by "traditional." Since she mentioned "traditional ethics and values" and succeeding in a career in later life, I very much doubt she means being kept barefoot and pregnant.

What may be "traditional ethics and values" to one person could mean something completely different to another. To me, it means integrity, respect for others and yourself, and good manners. I would also venture to guess that many sorority and fraternity rituals are based around some of these types of "traditional ethics and values."

Aren't "traditional" and AI kind of a contradiction in terms?

Just saying is all.

Why would they be so different?

Teaching via being Greek Sorority Member is maybe teaching for the future. Learning how to work with others and how to manage.

Granted each Female is going to be different in their thinkings but can still learn a lot.

If this individual wants to persue a Greek Organization, maybe she has a calling for it and wants to be a member of something just a little bit bigger.

Just wish Her Luck and give good advice.

If she would just want to use it as status, that will soon come to the top.

I believe that traditional values go hand in hand with good manners. One hand truly washes the other.

When you think about it...the foundation of almost every sorority or college that has been around for 100 years or more is based on traditional values....values that get passed on from one generation to generation.

I went to a women's college, so we were definately "pro" women progressing in society and in the workplace. We were taught to graduate with the goal of being financially and emotionally independent...and if we got married fine, but at least you'll have the life skills to make it on your own. You didn't leave school thinking it was going to be a social necessity.

so then, what exactly are these "traditional values" aside from good manners???? I'm a little confused on this

Traditional values
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lol, well, that says a lot.

I meant more can someone enumerate exactly what these values are? Or is it just an empty phrase?

So they are pretty much whatever you want them to be........lol

convenient, huh?

Next time I talk to my conservative, Republican cousin I'm going to tell him that his pro-choice, pro-gay marriage 30-something cousin has been called traditional.........:D

But hey, the humor is nice for a Friday.......

Okay, since this thread got semi-jacked, I want to steer it back on track. As an oldtimer on GC (coming up on 6 years...woo hoo), I've been seeked out on a number of occasions for AI advice, and don't give it as much anymore. It's too psychologically exhausting. And yet, I feel compelled to respond to your situation.

Okay, since you know an alumna (though not in your city), she could potentially write a letter of introduction to either her sorority's Executive Offices or to the Alumnae Chapter in "Sparismarshall City". However, this letter of introduction might not yield as much clout as you'd think. If she sends it to EO, it will likely get forwarded to the alumnae chapter anyway, for the alumnae chapter in your city to decide as to what action they want to take (if any).

That being said, I need to be truthful. There are 3 scenarios that could arise. I call them The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

The Good:
Alumna-lady writes the letter of introduction. The alumnae chapter is interested and agrees to meet with you. You meet them. They meet you. You love them and they love you. You get to know them. They eventually extend to you an invitation to membership. Everyone is happy happy. The End.

The Bad(ish):
(a)Alumna-lady writes the letter of introduction.
If she sent it to the alumnae chapter: The alumnae chapter perhaps, is either not interested in having someone join them or, they feel suspicious/confused that the candidate in question hasn't had the experience of being a collegian member first, or they meet you and they feel that there is not a fit. They tell you that they have decided not to pursue the matter further with you (or however they wordsmith it).


(b) If she sent it to EO: EO forwards it to the alumnae chapter. I must emphasize that no EO will ever say to an alumnae chapter "You must meet this person". They leave it up to the local alumnae in your city as to whether they want to meet a prospective candidate or not. It's very self-governing/autonomous that way. After all, these woman are the ones that would be seeing you on a regular basis, so no EO will ever "force them" to meet someone or take on someone as a prospective new member. It's pretty much left up to the local chapter.

The Ugly:
More common than not, the prospective AI gets no response, or meets the chapter and then gets no response.
This could be attributed to either the chapter is disorganized or they are not interested and they are hoping that with the silence (i.e. lack of response), that you will get discouraged and go away.
And also some alumnae chapters don't know what AI is and they don't want to have any members join them that way, because that's not how things have always been done. They respond to your communication with silence and hope that the whole thing will "go away". This is a very unfortunate situation because to me, part of being an adult is having the skill to "say no" to someone and do so diplomatically. If someone cannot say "no", then it's their problem, not the prospective alumna initiate's. But unfortunately, this happens from time to time, and so I wanted to forewarn you about the different potential scenarios.

So...if you get no response, I have no perfect answer as to how persistant you may wish to be. Persistence could yield results. However, in some cases, the more one persists, the more definite the rebuff may be.

And, if this post seems to be bit harsh, I felt that it was necessary to cut through all the "sunshine blowing in the posterior direction" that happens on this AI forum all too often. I've been on here for 6 years (in May).....I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly happen.
I saw one woman (southern states) get "outted" at an alumnae panhellenic meeting because sorority women from different sororities can and do talk to each other. She was "found out" to have approached more than one and was basically frozen all by all groups in attendance at the meeting. In another situation, I know of one woman who was a pledge in college, but never initiated. When she tried to initiate via the AI process, she met the women, seemed to click with them and then after months of silence (and persistence), they eventually told her "no" because she had not shared the collegiate experience with them.

So....I'm just saying, you could have several years' wait ahead of you.

Thanks for the reality check. I think most people reading the AI threads get the impression that AI is fairly common and usually ends in a successful conclusion for the PNAM, no matter how long the process takes.

First, congratulations on having the courage to go through this process!

I do want to caution you that every prospective member of AI is not successful...there are women who are not selected. The different groups all have individual requirements and selection process. I dare to say that although there may be some similarities, they are not the same. For many of these organizations, AI is a privilege and an honor. It's not really common, per se, but is being heard about more and more.

Read through this section carefully..there is a lot of good advice, and if I can be of further help, feel fre to PM me!