What if you found out he was bisexual?
 

What would you do if you found out the man that you were dating or married to was bisexual? How would you handle it?

USA Today had an interesting article about bisexuality in the Black Community on Thursday.

There was some discussion about it on the Russ Parr Morning Show which contributed some of the blame on these bisexual men for spreading AIDS so quickly onto Black women with their promiscuity...


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The Epitome of Beauty, Style, and Grace, Always Exemplifying Good Taste, A Zeta Woman, A Finer Woman, That's Me!

[This message has been edited by PrettyKitty (edited March 18, 2001).]

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

If we were dating, we would break up.

If we were married, we would divorce.

Is he just bisexual because of the way he feels or is he active while we are together? If it's the latter, he is kicked to the left. If he has acted on his feelings, he's still kicked to the left. If it's just the way he thinks he feels, I guess we could get counseling and try to work through how he feels. This is assuming we are married. If we are just dating, he's just kicked to the left, no explanations. Gone.

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Sweeter than sugar and as good to you as milk
DEM ZETAS are Finer Women and they smooth as silk.

To copy what DopeZeta has already said, he would be kicked to the left. I like that saying. No if's, and's or but's about it.

I read that article the day it came out and it was truly deep. It was scarey to say the least.

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Peace
KL

whoaaaaa http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

Well, you know I reallllly had to let this question marinate. I work in the entertainment industry...in other words, this is not a new phenomenon in my world.

I personally think some women have more of a problem with the security of their relationship than the fact that dude is sleeping with both sexes. By the very token that he is with me, I would not have any insecurity in terms of his faithfulness.

HOWEVER, I only date straight men...so I believe. What I find interesting is most men I know, actually dig bisexual women. However, most straight women have MAJOR problems with the whole idea of dating bisexual men. Would I knowingly date a bisexual man...No.

At the end of the day we should always try to keep in mind when entering ANY relationship is that HE had a Life before we walked into it. Its almost like saying,what would you do if you found out the love of your life... in a past life (hidden of course)was imprisoned as a teen, for (fill in the blank) yet he has totally turned his life around, now has 3 degrees, a 6digit job...yet while spending his "days up north", he had man to man relations...then what would you do?

Whoa, http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif, I don't know what I would do. I probably would not be affected really as long as he's not involved with anyone else (a guy)during our dating period. That's his deal. I think that it's one thing if you are sexually involved with this bisexual man, then more is at stake. Also whether or not he is a manly man matters too. If it turns out he's really feminine then he'd have to go.

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*selah*

I must confess that I have dated a bisexual man (high school). He was a very nice guy and everybody was always telling me that he was gay. I was not stupid. One thing that was good about the relationship was that he did not pressure me for sex. He told me that I am the only woman that he will ever love. I was flattered. I am married and til this day he still has pictures, plaques, etc. of me on his wall (his friends tell me all this stuff). I was quite happy with the relationship, but it got old and I did not see a future with him.

But to answer the question. I would definitely have to end the relationship and most of the time you know his sexual preference after a couple of conversations.



[This message has been edited by ridiculous2000 (edited March 20, 2001).]

I just couldn't date a bisexual man he would have to be kicked to the curb. I am straight so I feel that my mate should be straight..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel as though the relationship should be accessed and maybe it coldbe toned down to just friends. But Im not down with just kicking someone to the curb, unless they did something to hurt you. Although, you might be hurt , but at least he was honest. He could have just lived his life with a woman and stayed in the closet forever.

Just because a person is bisexual, it doesn't mean that she or he can' t be monogamous. The issue here isn't really a person's sexual orientation (but it sells newspapers, doesn't it?) -- the real issue is honesty and fidelity.

Hmmm...I have dated a couple of guys who were rumored to be that way, and it is very possible they were. If I had had conclusive evidence that the man was that way, I would have to end the relationship...no questions asked...

Can we say "homophobic"?. . . http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

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*selah*

I must disagree. I don't care if this person is faithful to me or not. We all have qualifications for the people we date/marry. One of my qualifications is that the person must be heterosexual. If I find out he isn't, he's going bye bye.

If he had not been upfront about his bisexuality at the beginning of our relationship (and trust me, I do ask--as a part of exploring the guy's past sexual history) then clearly he wasn't honest, and therefore the relationship would be terminated. While I don't have an issue with bisexuality per se, I would prefer that my mate be heterosexual--and above all, monogamous.

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Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

MIDWESTDIVA, I must agree! I would have to wave bye to the bi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You are the master of your own destiny!

I would leave him. I know that I am heterosexual and I expect him to be as well. Besides who needs competition from every woman and every man?

I would leave him. I know that I am heterosexual and I expect him to be as well. Besides who needs competition from every woman and every man?

After reading many of E. Lynn Harris's books the idea of falling in love with a man that may possibly be hiding his sexuality from me, posed some concern. I have met a few men that were bisexual and gay and alot of them aren't the stereotypical image most of us may imagine when we think of gay men. They aren't "flaming" as some may call it. I would think that if a man would be secure enough in his bisexuality that he would not keep it a secret from me, that he would respect me enough to allow me to make the choice of whether i want to continue seeing him or not. I would definitely not want to continue a relationship with a guy that was bisexual. I wouldn't want/expect him to deny apart of himself, not would I believe that he could do it. I would appreciate his honesty for telling me and not take it as a personal blow to who i am.

You don't *care* whether someone is faithful to you? So.. if he cheats on you with a passel of women, that's somehow more acceptable to you than him saying "I am attracted to men, but I've decided not to act on that attraction in order to settle down with you"?

Allow me to clarify. Simply put I have high standards. A heterosexual man that cheats on me with a passel of women, or even one woman will get put to the curb like Thursday's trash. I expect EVERY man I date to be faithful to me. I also expect every man I date to be heterosexual. If I find out the man I am currently dating is bisexual, I'm not going to say "OK, well he HAS been faithful to me, he IS a good person. So I guess we can stay together". NOT! There are plenty of respectful, faithful, hetersosexual men out there and many of them can't be with me either. He must meet ALL of my qualifications. Bisexuality, is means for immediate and permanent dismissal. What is it that greeks say? "Just because you meet the minimum qualifications, doesn't guarantee you will be offered membership"? "Membership has its privileges"? "By nature, our organizations are discriminatory"? OK, I'm discriminatory too. Just because a man is faithful to me doesn't guarantee that we will stay together, bisexual or not.


Also, I found this interesting. A lesbian said on another sorority's board that she is only interested in lesbian women, no bisexuals. Noone even batted an eyelash. But when a heterosexual woman says she only wants a heterosexual man, no bisexuals, people automatically think HOMOPHOBE. Why is that?



[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited April 18, 2001).]

If I knew about that other board, I'd have weighed in my $19.20, but since I didn't....

People have all sorts of arbitrary rules set up as far as who they will and won't date. It's just as prejudicial for a lesbian to say that she won't date bisexuals as it is for str8 folks.

But it's your world, you have to live in it, not me.

Peace!