I_Love_Penguins' Rush Experience
 

Well all my parties are over and tomorrow is bids day! So I figured now is a good time to come by and tell you all about my recruitment experience.

First of all, I'm going to code name the sororities I met with. Since I like American Idol, I'm going to use the names of female AI contestants for sororities names. There were 7 sororities participating in rush here:

Kelly
Fantasia
Diana
Carrie
Jasmine
Kimberley
Jessica

Last Monday: First night of recruitment. Nothing major except "Meet Your Rho Chi" night. They put us in Rho Chi groups by color. I started off in group purple, but was later switched to group white. I also tried to get to know other rushees. Discovered that one of the girls on my floor in the dorm was rushing.

Last Tuesday: Sweeten-ups. Not sure if any other school does this (I haven't heard it mentioned by other schools), but first they put the rushees in one room and did a brief power point on what sisterhood means to some of the girls in Greek Life here. Then we went to another room where the different sororities had tables set up and they talked a bit about their history, how many sisters in their chapter, dues, etc. This was really important for me because it was the start of determining who I could click with.

Last Wednesday/Thursday: Opens. We went to one of the academic buildings and our Rho Chis took us around to different rooms where the sororities again had their displays set up. This was an opportunity to ask any questions you had about the sorority and the sisters also set up various icebreakers. Four sororities were present on Wednesday: the Kellys, the Jasmines, the Carries, and the Jessicas. Thursday there were three sororities: the Kimberleys, the Fantasias, and the Dianas. We also got little gifts from the sororities on our way out of their rooms.

Friday: Informal signups in the Greek Life office here. We had to go into the office during a certain time frame and once we got there, we selected our top five choices for houses we wanted to visit for informals. Rush at my school is not extremely cuthroat...we did not have a ton of girls rushing this semester, so for us, jeans/nice tops were acceptable for informals. For my parties, I selected: the Jasmines, the Jessicas, the Kimberleys, the Fantasias, and the Dianas.

Friday/Saturday: Informals themselves. The rushees had either 2 parties Friday/3 Saturday or vice versa. This is when we actually walked down to the houses (without our Rho Chis) and got to meet the sisters. I was a little nervous but when I was with the Jessicas, I felt completely relaxed. Their house was really well decorated and something just told me I was right at home here. I went to the Jasmines and although the girls were nice and I had heard good things about them, I didn't feel as though I quite clicked with them. The conversations didn't have a good flow to them...and I just wasn't sure if I would want to come back again for formals.

Saturday's parties started early afternoon for me. My first stop was the Fantasias. I think I made a mistake selecting them for informals...not because the girls were rude, but because I just didn't feel like I clicked there. I felt kind of lost...not sure which sisters to talk to, only really talking to other rushess...there was no chemistry here. I knew when I couldn't really make any conversation that I was not going to fit in here.

I went to the Dianas about an hour later. The girls were great and I felt like I was making good conversation with them. I had actually been anticipating coming to their house because this was another informal I had picked without being totally sure if I wanted to be there. Sure enough I ended up liking them, but I wasn't sure if I could be their BEST friends. They seemed to be the girls I could casually hang out with but not be with all the time.

My last informal was the Kimberleys. When I initially arrived, they were finishing up the party with the last group (our informals last an hour), so we had to wait around for a little bit. In that time, I talked with some of the sisters and checked out their scrapbook. The scrapbook got me pretty excited because I am starting to develop an interest in scrapbooking so I mentioned that. Unfortunately, this was my 3rd party of the day and last informal, so I was a little restless. I tried not to let that show through. I knew to be nice to the sisters and not to look bored, but I guess it didn't help much. Maybe they thought I was forcing myself to be nice.

Sunday: No events.

Monday: Went back to Greek Life office to sign up for formals in the time frame specified. Formals were invite only so I was anxious to see where I got invited back to. I wrote down my top three (the Jessicas, the Kimberleys, and the Dianas), but I found out only the Jessicas had invited me back. I was a little disappointed that I hadn't been invited back to all three but I told myself "I may be upset about the Kimberleys and Diana not inviting me back, but at least I got invited back to one so I am happy to feel wanted somewhere." And as it turns out, the Jessicas were my top choice!

Last night: Formals at the Jessica house. I went down and again, felt right at home when I stepped inside. I realized why I've loved these girls since I met them at opens: they weren't uptight, they were laid back...they made fun of themselves and teased their sisters...you could see the fun they had together when you watched them interact...you didn't have to be talking to them to see that. I made sure to use a lot of the same mannerisms that got me invited to begin with: being courteous to the sisters, looking them in the eye while talking, complimenting deocrations I liked, etc. I'm not going to detail the activity they did with the rushees, but let me just say I was very touched by it.

Bids day (tomorrow) can't come fast enough! Here, the sororities come around to dorms and do their chants as they hand out bids. I will let everyone know how I make out.

:)

P.S. If anyone wants to know more than what I put here, PM me.

Good luck!

It all sounds great! I hope you find the perfect fit!

I hope you find your home :)

I hope you find what you're looking for with the Jessicas! :) Let us know ASAP! :)

I don't have good news. :(

I contacted the Greek Life Office this morning and unfortunately, I did not get extended a bid to the Jessicas. It really hurt to hear that, but I managed to hold in my tears until I got off the phone. I understand no one on here or no one in the Jessicas can tell me why I got cut...but even so..I tried to reach back into my head and figure out what I did wrong that got me cut after formals...was it how I looked? How I acted? Or was it my GPA? (2.97; almost 3.0 but still.) Maybe I said something afterwards that I shouldn't have. I can't really think of an explanation, but I'm not going to sit here and say I behaved perfectly during rush...cause obviously I did my best, but had a slip up somehwere that I have to try to figure out.

The lady in charge of Greek Life (who is really nice) told me about COBs tonight. The Jessicas are COBing, but my friend wanted to go there...and she didn't get a bid either...so Greek Life advised against her going there. They didn't tell me the same thing but I'm going to assume that's the general consensus. So my friend and I are headed to COBs for the Jasmines tonight. I cut Jasmines before formals, but maybe things will go differently tonight. Who knows? I am ready to move on and start fresh at the Jasmines!

Lastly, I will now reveal the sororities I rushed:

Jasmines=Delta Phi Epsilon
Jessicas=Delta Epsilon Beta (local)
Kimberleys=Alpha Sigma Tau
Fantasias: Chi Sigma Rho (local)
Dianas=Phi Sigma Sigma
Kellys=Phi Iota Chi, AKA Pixies (local)
Carries=Alpha Sigma Alpha

I hope things go well at COB tonight!

good luck

I hope things go well for you tonight. Have a great time and just be yourself!

Were Tri Sigma, Theta Tau Omega & Chi Theta Pi not participating? I thought formal rush was in spring.

* good luck *
:]

Good luck with cobing!

I like seeing a thread that has Phi Sigma Sigma involved it's interesting to seehow other chapters do it differently.

We're keeping our fingers crossed for you!

You have a great attitude. Have a great time at the COB parties. I hope you get to meet some wonderful ladies and have some fun!

Unlike most of the other recruitment stories here, I didn't have a happy ending. :(

I went to my COB party tonight, but no bid. I came back from studying and saw letters next to my room door and got really excited, but as it turns out...the letters were there for my roommate. She got into D Phi E and I did not...we both went to the COB party. The other bad part is that my hallmate, who rushed, got into D Phi E as well. So they both have letters on their door and I have nothing.

I can't tell you all how much this hurts, but I'm certainly not going to sit here and trash sororities. I just wish I had had a happy ending.

Anyone have any tips on how to cope with not getting in? Especially since two girls I live closely to got in and I have to see them in their letters and listen to their convos about pledging and everything?

I'm going to wait a couple days before summing up how I felt about the whole experience, only because I don't want something angry and anti-sorority to come out of my mouth.

I don't post in recruitment threads very often, but I just wanted to compliment you on your class, level-headedness, and maturity in all of this. I hope that your college experience will still be a great one!

Thanks Daisy. I don't feel very level headed right now...I'm still pretty upset...but thank you for the compliments! I am trying my best to remain classy and mature instead of totally trashing the Greek system.

I talked to my roommate last night after she returned from her bids night party. (It was after 1 a.m. or something but I had a frozen coffee to cheer me up, so that's why I was still up.) Anyway, she told me that she got called about her bid as she was headed to catch the shuttle bus to go to the parking lot for her car. When she asked about my status (I mentioned we were roommates), she told me that the girls said I was very close to getting a bid, but then someone else got one. That made it hurt even more and my roommate told me she was unable to enjoy her party as much as she liked because she felt bad that I wasn't there with her. :(

I'm feeling a little better this morning, but still upset. I guess I need to move on though especially since I am going home this weekend and seeing some friends I haven't seen since before going back to school from winter break. I also get to do one of the things I love more than most things in the world...going to a hockey game. So I'm hoping to be feeling better by the end of the weekend.

Ali * I sent you a PM:)

I'm sorry that you are disappointed. I suggest that you spend this time focused on improving your grades. You can try again next year if you really want it. I know some wonderful women who went through a similar experience before getting a bid.

I also agree with JocelynC's suggestions.

And we wonder why MS is supposed to be CONFIDENTIAL.

Honey, keep your chin up. Join things on campus, do well in school, and get the last laugh.

I am not sure if I am trying again next year. We'll see if I really want it. I am already a second semester sophomore...however...I know both D Phi E and one of the local sororities have pledged juniors without an issue. The one girl I met who's in D Phi E pledged as a junior. But as I said...we'll see if I really want it next semester.

i know you don't want to hear this now, but

"everything happens for a reason"

i know we ALL hate to hear that phrase,
but it proves to be true...
trust me.

let your heart heal, sit back, enjoy life, enjoy your friends,
and in due time you'll see there is something
bigger and better in store for you. ♥

I agree...I was thinking that too when I read that.

I'm sorry recruitment didn't work out as you'd hoped. It's very normal to feel upset, sad, mad and/or disappointed. Take the time to feel these things and do something special for yourself.

It may not seem this way now, and yes, you're on a board composed of mostly Greek members, but Sorority Life, while it can be fun and fulfilling, is just one aspect to the college experience. You can try again if you choose or as someone else said, investigate other Campus Activities. For now--Go home for a visit, spend time with good friends, go shopping, do something fun for yourself.

Work on those grades and bring them up. Also, remember you are special, unique and wonderful. Not getting a sorority bid doesn't make you any less of a person. It's an ego bruise, but one that you can overcome by living your life, talking it out and keeping busy with school and friends.

Good luck and please stick around on Greek Chat!

Depending on the way membership selection works in a particular group, not even all of the iniated members may know.

any chance you might want to found your own sorority?

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's hard to face rejection, but it seems that you have dealt with it very well. I was rejected from all of the sororities during rush. I was upset, and later mad, but I've got over it, because I'm a strong and determined person. Anyway, it takes time to get over it. Some girls get over their rejections very quickly others (like myself) take a long time. It took me a whole semester to get over it, because I wasn't really rejected for anything in my life and rejection was hard for me.

Take this rush as a learning experience. You will face rejection all of your life.

Be with your family for some support. Continue to be friends with your roommate and your neighbors. If you don't, jealousy will sprout ugly and will get worse.

Talk to other people for support. Like your RA (resident advisor) or a counselor or other people that are not Greek but support the Greek system. Please do realize that you're not alone when it comes to rejection.

Also, get your grades up, not just to try to get into the sororities, but also for grad school (if you plan to go), because as the work load gets harder for you, it would become difficult for you to improve your grades way above a 3.0. You have to compete with others that will have higher GPAs than you.

Try other organizations. You'll make just about the same amount of friends as you would in a sorority.

Think positive. It will be the only way to boost your self-esteem back to normal.

[Insert BANG HEAD HERE!]

This campus already has 10 sororities and some of them are far from being at total. The last thing they need is another.

If your campus does the quota/total system and DPhiE had 5 open spots but 10 girls they wanted, this MIGHT be possible but only a very small group of sisters (maybe only 2) would know what your rank was in that grouping. I don't think the sisters who said those words were well informed.

I hope you enjoyed your visit home this weekend and it helped to clear your head.

I concur with 33girl who said there are 10 groups there and most are too far from total to even consider expanding now. You may have also cut a few groups that you did not even give a shot to. You cut DPhiE first and then decided to give them a shot. Maybe there is another group you haven't given consideration to.

Good luck.

Denise

I am sorry things didn't go as planned this semester. But I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to get involved in campus life.

Student government can be one idea... there are probably a multitude of clubs or maybe your major has a greek organization you can join (if you absolutely have to go Greek.)

Or maybe a service club/organization? Volunteer?

sorry to hear what happened, but as others have said, everything happens for a reason. take this semester to concentrate on your schoolwork and raise your gpa. even if you dont want to rush in the fall, getting your gpa up even higher than it is is always a good thing! and you never know--you might end up wanting to rerush in the fall and may fall in love with a different house! or you may rerush and decide that greek life isnt for you. or you may just decide that you dont want to rush again. i know its going to be hard to hang out with the girls that got bids to the sorority that you wanted to be in, but try to maintain the friendships. i transferred in a spring semester and rushed the following fall, so i had already made a bunch of friends before i rushed. after i rushed the girls that didnt rush or didnt get a bid were distant and it was hard. just trying to let you know that its just as awkward to them as it is for you. but definetely be supportive of their situations as im sure theyll try to be supportive of yours. good luck with everything and keep us updated if you decide to rush again in the fall!

Bumping this back up with an update...

I was looking back on my thread and it was actually amazing to relive rush from the spring semester! I know that sounds strange because I didn't have a happy ending, but it was still an experience I'm glad I had. Still can't believe that almost seven months has gone by since I went through everything. And I was even looking back at my postings of sadness going "Wow I can't believe I wrote all this!"

My grades did improve last semester. Not drastically but if memory serves me correctly, I think my GPA was around a 3.1 or a 3.2.

Over the summer, an incoming freshman messaged me on Myspace figuring she could look to me for help getting to know the campus and getting adjusted. So I've been helping her with some of the activities that are out there, and even though I'm a GDI, I told her about my rush experience and what our Greek system is like. I'm not sure if she's going to rush next semester (at our school first semester freshmen can't rush), but it was nice to be able to educate people about what it's like.

Here on campus, all the sororities are starting to put up their rush banners again. It brings back a feeling of excitement for me.

I'm a junior now and I've decided that this semester I'm not going to go through formal rush. I am pretty busy with a 17 credit courseload, a 3-4 day per week part time job, and an assistant editor/staff writer position with the school paper. However...

I will go through COB if I can find out the dates. I just keep checking back with the websites for Greek Life and the school news/events page because that's where dates are posted. Rush starts next week(?) I think. I just don't have time to call off from work and drop my responsibilities to go through all the nights of rush. But I will do COBs for some sororities if possible. If I COB and don't get a bid, then I will just move forward with my life.

If I can't COB, that is OK too. I've had enough time to get over the upset of not being bid. I've realized being in a sorority is a great thing to do, but not the be all/end all of college and there are plenty of other things to do. I might take up dance ensemble this year...I went to their recital in April and now that is something I'm interested in.

Well I don't know who will read this but I figured since it's that time of year, I'd bump this up and give anyone who's interested an update. And I'll certainly let everyone know if I go through COB.

That's awesome news. I think you have a GREAT attitude and hope it works out for you this year.

Good luck!

I_Love_Penguins, you're already a Recruitment Success! If you COB a house you love, I surely hope that you get a bid. Your attitude is to be envied!