Another question that pisses me off
 

This one pisses me off far more than the "do you have a boyfriend?" question.

After you've just met someone, new or someone you have not seen in a long time, the second or third question is usually "And, what do you do?"

Okay, can people be a little more subtle about judging others according to which jobs/careers they have? What if the person they're asking is unemployed? Still in school? Stay at home parent? Having trouble getting interviews? Or, having any other complication that prevents them from gaining employment? While this is one of the most common and harmless (on surface) questions, it can leave people feeling pretty awkward.

Re: Another question that pisses me off
 

A person has around 16 hours of time that they aren't asleep in a day. Somewhere around 50% of that time is taken up by work or school.

What the heck else are you supposed to talk about?

-Rudey

Honestly, you're going to have to get used to it. I know personally I'm at work more than I'm doing anything else during the week; if I don't know a person well, chances are, our conversation will go back to "What do you do for a living?" or "Where do you work?" or "What kind of things are you working on?"

It's just the way it is - the only thing you can try to do is steer the conversation to another subject.

I have accepted this question as inevitable, but I don't really like it either. It doesn't bother me now nearly as much as it did a year ago. At the time I was working a crappy ass job that an 18-year-old could do, and I wasn't proud of it. I started to dread meeting new people because I knew they would ask that and I didn't want to answer it. It was just embarassing to have a college degree and admit to working where I did. Not cool.

I still think it's a crappy question, and I don't generally ask it at the beginning of a conversation, but at least now I'm not embarassed to answer it. :)

I don't think most people ask it in order to position you in some hierarchy. It's just a normal question and usually opens the door to interesting conversations.

This may come as a shock to some of you, so I'll lay it out plainly:


You will be judged by others based on your career, your success in that career, and on and on and on and on and on.

I agree. "So what do you do?" is just one of those questions you are going to have to get used to answering.

You can say that you're in between jobs or interviewing. Actually, I know a few people who have gotten their jobs through friends or colleagues by saying something like that.

I try not to ask the question because I know so many people who have been unemployed or underemployed in the last few years. It can be awkward.

It's an easy point of conversation that can get someone talking and you can learn something about them. What you do is a big part of who you are.

Not having a job, not having a good job, etc. really isn't uncommon right now with the job market for young people.

A guy came up to me at the bar this past weekend and proceeded to try and chat me up, only I swear the conversation ran just like an interview. He came up and started firing questions at me--first he asked what my name was, then where I was from, and then the dread and so, what do you do? I don't care if it is acceptable and inevitable, I hate being asked that because it sounds like 1) the person is deciding whether or not I'm good enough to talk to, or 2) the person is trying to be smooth but is failing miserably because they're too damn boring to think of something more interesting. I'm glad my friends came and saved me.

Uh, he is - and so are you, throughout the conversation. That's how it works.

This is the real problem, I'd guess - and also, helps to prove my point about number 1.

He should have just fondled you and asked if you wanted to go drink Jesus Juice with him and watch some SpikeTV.

-Rudey

Hey, just because you got a liberal arts degree and can't find a job don't bitch about the rest of us that got a worthwhile degree and started a career!

Now that's not always true...

KSigKid
- Liberal arts degree and journalism degree, with worthwhile job

I think it's ridiculous and childish to expect people to avoid asking you what you do 40+ hours a week.


And I think if you're that ashamed about what you do, it's time to look for another job.

Jacquelyn
- Degree in process, with worthwhile job.

I don't understand why you're drawing the conclusion that somebody is judging you by what you do when asking about it. If I ask someone that question, it's because I'm getting to know someone and curious -- I don't care if you're an attorney or if you sit at home on your ass all day shopping online and eating bonbons. "Do" can mean more than work, you know.

Are you just looking for reasons to be angry?

Ha. Bonbons.

1. You're horrible at this ESP thing.

2. I'm still in school.

3. I'm not really looking for any "worthwhile" careers as of right now because of #1.

4. I'm pretty satisfied to work at any job right now, as long as it pays for my expenses.

5. As chaos mentioned, "worthwhile" is subjective. I'd rather have a career that I enjoy and make less money, than to have a career I despise and make more money. I'm not saying that enjoy=less$$$ and despise=more$$$, for everyone, but it seems that way for me.

1. You're also horrible at this ESP thing.

2. Where in my OP did I say I condemn others asking "what I do 40+ hours a week", period? I said, it bothers me when people ask me this question before they get to know me.

3. I don't think I could ever be ashamed about what I do, because I probably would not work at a job I would be "ashamed".

The snippiness isn't helping your "I am NOT childish!!!!" case.

Just sayin'.

You're not looking for a worthwhile career because Cooramor is horrible at ESP???

lmao

Maybe I'm too cynical. But, I do think people like you are in the minority.

I agree.

I'm sure there are tons of people who wouldn't mind dating someone who has a not-so-great job, but is striving to do better. However, I don't know anyone who wants to be with a person who sits at home and eats bonbons all day.

What KSigKid said.


KR
- liberal arts/journalism degree who bills $lots/hour to freelance PR.

ETA: I'm not busting on you personally, Coramoor. My husband, who has an engineering degree (that he doesn't really use), would completely agree with what you said.

ETA again: Hehe, I just did the math and I figured out that if my liberal arts degree and I worked fulltime, I would inch out Mr. KR in the "which spouse brings home more bacon" contest. I'll have to mention that to him tonight :)

I'm unemployed!

My husband took a new job, so I had to go ahead and move without having something lined up. I've been unemployed for a week and two days and already I've had three people ask me if I work from home.

It took me by surprise the first two times I heard it, but I think I'm getting used to it.

I was unemployed for 2 weeks before my current job :(

I made sure to call everyone I knew in the middle of the day to let them know that and to ask for a free lunch. I even said it to people I just met. It made my day. :)

-Rudey

One of my sorors was talking about this on her Xanga. She got sick of this question and has taken to saying (with an absolute poker face):

"I'm a professional golddigger."

According to her, the responses are priceless!

Isn't it a shame that you have to say that^^^, so that folks won't take things personally? lol

Re: Re: Another question that pisses me off
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DSTCHAOS

Most people who aren't proud of what they "do" will give some disclaimers about how they JUST lost their job or are still in school because they took time off to go to the military. Or maybe they are still in school because they are getting their PhD.

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"because they took time off to go to the military" Holy Mother of Pearl! What a condescending comment! In this day of an All-Volunteer-Army no one "takes time off" to serve your country. It is an honorable committment where one puts their neck on the line for their beliefs and their country, and it bestows certain bragging rights on those who have served. You might also notice that most who have earned those bragging rights don't make a big deal about it. They do their duty and either stay for a career or go on with other plans and with a great sense of pride in what they have accomplished. You might also notice that re-enlistment rates are at an all time high, even with (or perhaps because of) the dangers currently attendant to that committment. ]

I think it all depends on how tied your identity is to what you do. I have gone through 2 periods of extended unemployment. The first time, I took some time off to take care of my grandmother while she was ill. I lived with her and was her primary care giver for about 8 months. I was fairly young (about 26) and I would positively cringe when someone in my peer group/from my alma mater asked me what I was doing at the time. While they were climbing the corporate latter (which is what I thought I should be doing) I was not. Don't get me wrong, that time with my grandmother was priceless and I wouldn't give it up for all the promotions in the world, but at that time I was more concerned with keeping up with the jones and how others perceived me.

Fast forward to last year when I was out of work for 5 months, I told people I was out of work with no major twinges of guilt or shame. My identity was not so clearly tied to what I did for a living anymore .

Re: Re: Re: Another question that pisses me off
 

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I think what she is saying is that some people, when explaining why they're still in school, say that they're still there due to the fact that they took time off to join the military then returned to school when their enlistment was up. I can't imagine someone who is able to withstand the s**t the military doles out (so I'm told) would be ashamed of being there :)