Those less fortunate....
 

Do you give money or anything to beggars? How do you differentiate who is legitimately down on their luck and who is just a drunk beggar person?

I never do. I dont know why, but I dont. Whenever I am at a gas station (as happened tonight) or someplace in a parking lot and someone approaches me, they usually just want cash. It happens to me about once a week. i usually act like I am in a big hurry and just say something like "Sorry, cant talk, in a huge hurry." And scamper off. Tonight I kinda felt bad for this one chick tho. She was probably 40 but looked 50 and just asked if she could talk to me for a minute, I told her no because I was in a hurry. She told me it wouldnt take but a second and had this kinda desperate look on her face. Knowing I didnt have cash anyway, I told her sorry and hopped in the truck. She probably wouldda knifed me had I talked to her anyway.

Its been my experience tho (amongst my friends) that if you were raised in a small town, you wont give money to the homeless. If you were raised in a large city, you sometimes do.

IS this ya'lls expereince? So you give to random beggars on the street?

We don't have beggars on the street here, and I don't ever plan on moving to a large city, so I doubt I'll ever be faced with this.

I would probably offer to buy the person a meal or something, but I would have a very hard time giving a person cash that they could use for alcohol or drugs.

Generally no... but I do make exceptions based on the vibe I'm getting. I have run into more than a few that are just looking for human compasion or interaction - they just want to talk to someone... and if I have time I'll give them a little change and a chat.

My faith in some though has been kinda strengthen by something that happened back in 2001 - I was heading back to work with my boss after lunch and we were stopped by a native guy in his early 30s. He straight up said that he was a recent release from prison the day before; but had blown his cash at a bar celebrating. He asked if we had anything we could give him so he could go back home to his reserve; because he knew he would just fall back into crime if he stayed in the city. I asked him for some proof of his story, and he presented his release papers along with his status card - a card that said he was from the Wahta Territory near the family's cottage. Anyways I gave him a $20 and told him I'd be checking with Commandant (the chief) when I saw him later in the month when I was up there again - the guy was estatic and nearly fell over himself saying thanks... anyways about 2 months later I was taking down a couple of dead trees at the cottage when low and behold Commandant shows up with the "homeless" guy and what turned out to be his father - not only did he give me $20, but they helped me with the trees and we split a case of beer while grilling the venison they'd brought too.

Other than that I have met a half dozen students at university that had at one point lived on the streets, but had been 'saved' by the various outreach programs around - and had turned their lives around enough that they had been accepted to school through the school's outreach program... all of them said they could trace the turn around to an act of kindness: money, shelter, or even advice (such as the fact there was an outreach program).

I give money all the time.

One time I was in Mcdonalds and they were tossing this old homeless guy out for asking for fries so I bought him a meal.

I think its more a matter of your natural generosity than experience. Some people just give, others really aren't comfortable with it.

PS. I have also bought penniless inebriated sorority girls food in the wee hours of the morning.

I usually don't give out money. I'm in Detroit often so if I gave money to everyone who asked I would be homeless myself. I went to TWO places earlier today in the city and was asked for money outside of each place. Thats how Detroit is. I did give money to a guy once who wanted to buy beer. He said it was his 40th birthday and he wanted a 40 for his 40, I couldn't argue with that.

I've given money lots of times but it really depends on who it is and I don't do it as often as I used to. When I've just gotten off work and some guy wearing expensive sneakers asks me for money I just get angry.

Several times I've said flat out "I don't give money to men." They're usually so surprised by what I've said that they don't have time for a response or don't know what to say. Once though, this guy completely flipped on me, flew into a rage and started swearing at me. I smiled though because he had just illustrated why most men are undeserving.

How on earth do you know who you're helping. A rapist? A pedophile? A wife-beater? Odds are that they're some kind of lowlife.

So you prefer to give your money to crack-whores or prostitutes?

You batting for the other team? You don't seem to have a high opinion of men . . .

Ha-Ha! I was kinda thinking the same thing. It's one thing to be feminist...but a man-hater????

Ok this REALLY upsets me. I had a friend name Laura whose father lost his job. He was certainly not a pedophile, rapist, wife beater. He was an honest man who got laid off. They were homeless for a while, couldn't find a job. Luckily Laura got a job at the mall. But she got fired once her boss foundout she was homeless. Ok fine, sure maybe I'm talking about an episode from "Saved By The Bell". But still, you shouldn't generalize and say that about men.

Now I must defeat you with my Wu Tang sword for being an idiot.

Nope, not batting for the other team. And I'm not so much a man-hater as a man-realist. I don't think much of women either but at least most aren't violent.

Okay, did I say that EVERY guy is a pedophile, rapist, wife-beater? No. So don't get your panties in a wad.

There are a couple guys who work a corner on my way home from work. They hold up a Homeless and Hungry sign right by my entrance to the freeway (by Wayne State for the Detroiters, Forest and the Lodge). I had an apple that I hadn't eaten from lunch and offered it to one of them. He just rolled his eyes at me. I figure, if you're hungry, you'll take an apple. If you're looking for drug/alcohol money, you won't.

I did dump a couple comforters off near one of the viaducts where a guy has been living for about two years now. His blankets were getting ratty and I was going to donate the comforters anyway, so I just pulled over to the side and tossed them out the window in plastic bags. He uses them.

I'd rather give directly to the soup kitchens/food banks that directly help the poor because then I know it's being used for a good purpose.

Dee

Ok, so um I started to read this and was like, there was an episode of Saved By the Bell that was just like this...

No, but you did say most men are violent.

This is what I do. There's a huge homeless problem in my hometown, and it's due to the fact somehow we got named as a "homeless friendly" location. For about the past ten years, they've all mainly lived downtown and camped out on the Ohio River, but Huntington is starting to revamp the downtown, and they're trying to get rid of them. Quite honestly, I do wish they would go away. It's mean, but when I go to work downtown, I'm always heckled by them, and they don't ask for money--they ask for sex, or if I have drugs. One of the resturants has an outdoor eating area, and the homeless will go and yell obscenities at the diners. The very first day of my very first job in high school, my co-worker and I sat and watched Russ (who was buried under a bunch of dirty facial hair) sit and drink mouth wash. It's just a huge problem, and it does affect people's willingness to conduct business downtown, or do anything, for that matter.

Most of the legit homeless (like those who lost their jobs, house burned down, etc.) go to the city mission outreach, which is very extensive in my town. Most of the homeless who cause problems are not from my area.

i have purchased food for people who looked a little down on their luck. i would not give them money.

my husband once offered a job to one of those men holding a sign "will work for food". the man just looked at him and said that he could make more money standing on the street corner than doing manual labor and he didn't get his hands dirty . after that, we have never given cash to a homeless person-food yes, cash no.

I've been trying to figure out a really nice way to call you a bitch for the past few minutes, but I can't do it. Sorry.

There's just no nicer way to put it.

I grew up in a big city (Dallas).... I refuse to give money to beggers and pan-handlers. I work for my money, I see no reason why I should give it to someone who is doing nothing but standing on a street corner.

Call me a bitch if you like, but it's how I feel.

I would be much more likely to buy someone food than to give them money- but I have yet to encounter that situation. Besides, I'm a woman, and if it's nighttime or I'm by myself, I would consider it a pretty stupid thing to stop and talk to a begger. I'm not going to claim that they are all rapists and pedophiles (cause that's just ignorant) but I do think it very possible that they would not be above mugging me.

*story: A friend of mine saw a homeless man with a dog once and tried to give the man dog food for his poor pet.... The guy refused it and said something rude.

I usually only get hit up when I'm going into the bagel shop near my apartment. Sometimes I'll say "I'm paying with a card but do you want something to eat?" sometimes I'll give them some money when I come out. I don't always give to panhandlers, but I try to when I have a little extra change on me. If they're using it to buy a beer I honestly don't give a crap.

If I have some change in my pocket or already in my hand, i will give it because I do not believe in taking my wallet out in front of stranger people asking for money (doesn't matter if they are homeless or not). I know too many people who have been robbed by doing that.

Sometimes I have been moved to just go up to them and give some money. But for the most part, I financially support my church's homeless ministry as well as other organizations, so I will always stop and chat (to see what their need is) and try to direct them to other resources that can help.

<----Had the same thought....

My church has a great homeless ministry, and suggests that we offer food and advice on where to go and get more help. A lot of people in the Cities keep a box of granola bars in their car for this purpose.

I live and work downtown. I live about 3 blocks from the greyhound station and the public transportation hub, so needless to say that there are plenty of homeless. I generally don't give them $ because I see the same homeless people (seasonally) working the same areas. Giving them money simply encourages and rewards their annoying behavior.

Then, there are the 'corporate' beggars. There are certain high-traffic street corners around the time that seem to be worked by some 'professional' beggars. I've seen a van dropping them off and picking them up. I guess they have some sort of system where they share profits?

i ALWAYS give when i can.

after experiencing what its really like to "beg" for money canning for dance marathon as an undergrad, i vowed never to ignore or say no to someone in that situation.

granted i work as a rehab counselor, and i KNOW that many on the street beg for cash to use, but i personally know what its like to feel ignored/snubbed and wouldnt wish that on ANYONE..

even if i dont have anything to give, i at LEAST make eye contact and say sorry... in my opinion, the WORST thing one can do is completely ignore them.

Many, if not most, homeless people have mental disorders and issues with substance abuse.

As far as I'm concerned I don't care.

If my money helps them forget for just 10 minutes what reality is, I'll do that. I don't care if my money goes towards food or homeless man liquor in plastic bottles.

I can't imagine how hard it is to beg, but I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt if that's what they do.

I stopped giving around my college though when I realized the dicks had cellphones. In Chicago, people sell street wise (this awful newspaper) so you can't tell if they're homeless or just have shitty jobs and want to exploit your kindness. I also don't give when it's an obvious scam (our homeless shelter is going out of business and we need money or my car broke down can i ask for $20).

-Rudey

My office is near a couple of hotels where derelicts live, and this happens often. We finally made arrangements with two different restaurants (a pizza place and a "mom & pop" place) that we can call, tell them who we're sending up, and we'll pick up the tab.

I also keep McDonald's & Wendy's coupons with me, for when I'm not there.

I would never give more than about a quarter to a person, but I donate generously to groups such as the Salvation Army or other soup kitchens or shelters. My church also has a HUGE homeless ministry, both here and (strangely enough) near Philippi, West Virginia - where the miners were just killed.

Consider it karma, God's will, or whatever - but I think it's what we're called to do.

There was a guy in Chicago who would ask for money to "help a drunk get drunker." We gave him money -- at least he was honest -- and spent some time talking to him. He was a cool, interesting person.

Here there are people everywhere on corners holding up signs. I hate it. There's this one guy who will stand by your car staring at you and talking to you even if your car window is closed. Apparently people have their own corners that they work and they make a decent amount of $$. I don't give them any.

I've even had a woman approach me in the grocery store asking for money -- WTF. No.

Usually no.

If I'm feeling generous and the guy is honest, like telling me he wants to buy a 40 I'll give him money for that. I mean, what the hell. Alcohol is probably the only thing good in his life, and I enjoy alcohol too...I'd be a hipocrit otherwise.

To me, this seems like the best (and safest) option. I do feel for the people who have to beg on the street just to get by, but as a single woman I also don't feel comfortable giving those same people money in person. I'm a big chicken, but seriously, I have heard of people being robbed when giving money to people on the street and I know I'd never be able to defend myself if something like that were to happen to me.

I ALWAYS give money when I have it for the following reasons:

1. My uncle is homeless, mostly because he's schizophrenic and refuses to take his meds, so a facility won't take him. Imagine driving down the street and seeing your only brother begging on the side of the road (its happened many times to my father).

2. I feel compelled to give charity to anyone less fortunate than me, no matter their situation. It's not my place to judge is someone is asking for money for "the right reasons". If I have $5 and someone needs it, I'm gonna give it. I believe that I'll get that money back tenfold in the form of blessings.

I laughed.


I don't usually give money to strangers because I tend to carry a decent amount of cash on me (uhhh, don't stalk me, GC) and I don't think it's a great idea to whip out a wallet full of cash in the middle of the street. Sometimes I give some if I know I'm not carrying much or if I have some money in my pocket instead of my wallet.

It has nothing to do with whether or not I think the person is "worthy." I think it's really weird when people are like, "I'd give them money but only if I knew it was going towards food." Either give or don't give, but don't act like you're worthy of judging who's worthy of "saving" and who's not.

I'm actually more likely to give someone money if they're honest about where it's going. Or if they make up a good, entertaining story about how ninjas killed their family and they need to money for karate lessons in order to get revenge.

Yes. One time when I was getting gas, this dude approached me and gave me this big long story about how he had a van full of kids who were going to the nunnery or some shit, and they ran out of gas, and he needed money so he could get the children to wherever the hell they were going. It was the biggest crock I've ever heard and not even entertaining. I mean, don't approach me and act like I'm an idiot, 'k? Not to mention that approaching someone who is filling up at the gas station and stuck listening to your dumbass story is kind of vile.

Yeah, bitch is ignant, y'all.

As for the original question. I have never been approach by a homeless person. Damn I'm sheltered.

Right. I've been approached by people with stories like that . . . I mean, if you're going to lie to my face, at least make me laugh, you know?

No. I've never been personally approached where we live (but have seen people with signs on street corners), and I hardly ever have any cash on me.

I'm not entirely comfortable with it and would prefer to donate to a shelter or other service.

Many Many Times.

When I owned a Liquor store, this guy would sit with a sign and say work for food. Hell, He never worked and would bring the food to My store and trade for cheep wine.

Chili Willie wanders the streets and gets far afield, I would never consider giving Him Money and He doesnt ask. Has More Money than I do!

Setting at the bank one morning reading a book when some dude comes up to my side window say He just got out of the Nut House and needed money for His Medication, right, what kind of drugs.

Always have people coming up or to the store saying they need money for gas. BS.

Had a guy scare Little Old ladys when He came up to their cars at the Hair Butcher place next door want to give a relgious publication and would ask for a donation. Ran his ass off.

A guy in KC was pan handleing at the Country Club Plaza and the city made a City Ordinance against Him!

Hell, He was seen in many citys in the Mid-West area.

These people many times are just scammers and can work but make a better living not working and they dont want to.

I am not saying, that all people are like that so do not take it as such.

Used to have a little now I have a lot, I'm still KR, KR from the block.

That was really random. I'm all likkered up from my NyQuil.

But yeah, I tend to try and be generous because I remember what it was like growing up with pretty much nothing and it plain out sucked. I figure if someone wants to use the couple dollars I give them for a forty instead of buying something to eat, then they're gonna be hungry. But my not helping them out isn't going to cause them to have some kind of epiphany.

That said, I'm not putting down people who choose not to give money. It is a completely personal choice.

Hahhahah. I saw that and the absolute first thing I thought was, "oh god, she's lit, this is gonna be GREAT if shes posting all hammered." lol. Yeah, I'm just waiting for KR to use the word 'crunk' in a sentence. but yeah, homeless people suck. lol.