Recruitment Manners
 

I'm an incoming Membership Director for my chapter and I am trying to put together a "Recruitment Manners Manual" for my sisters. Some points I already have:

- Eat only if the PNM eats. Make sure you offer her food and drink, but do not force it on her.
- Don't stand too close to the PNM, respect their personal space.
- NO EXCESSIVE TOUCHING. Basic touches to greet or guide her are fine.
- If something bad happens i.e. a drink spill or she trips, be gracious and signal a floater or alumnae to come clean up any mess.

but I'm having trouble coming up with many :confused:

If anyone has any additions, I'd love some help!

Thanks!:)

Don't talk about the 4 B's:

Boys
Bank
Booze
Bible

Others may disagree with me, but I think this is a good rule of thumb for all chapters!

if you find out that you and your pnm guest know the same person, just acknowledge that you know that person. don't spend a lot of time discussing them. your guest might not hold that person in high esteem, or you might not and your guest thinks they are great. you both should be getting to know each other anyway, and not spending time discussing someone else.

if your party includes food, and you are supposed to serve your guest, don't heap their plate with food. they are being served food at the other parties they are attending, party food is rich, and they might feel obligated to try and eat everything on their plate to seem polite. don't fill their glass up either.

always look your guest in the eye when speaking to her. when you meet her, repeat her name a few times to help you remember it.

You could probably add "bad-mouthing" to it if it's an open COB event. Basically don't talk smack about other groups or organizations at the event. It's kind of a "duh!" but it happens.

IF by chance the PNM brings up another chapter
(ex. ABC), either in a good way or bad, use the comment in a way that supports your own chapter WITHOUT trashing the other one. It's not that hard to turn a negative comment into something that makes your chapter shine!

Example- a PNM asks if it's true that ABC hazes...this is the PERFECT time to explain your chapter rules, school rules, and National rules regarding hazing. Explain to the PNM that the chapters all support these rules together, etc.

name tag placement
 

This is a pet peeve of mine, and recruitment is the perfect time for everyone to learn the right way ... when you are wearing a name tag, wear it on YOUR right hand side. When someone is reaching for your hand (and vice versa) your name tag is directly in their line of sight and glancing at it will not be obvious or awkward. Besides, your left side -- over your heart -- is reserved for your badge!

Re: name tag placement
 

The nametag thing is true. I volunteered at an event a few weeks ago, and a sister almost bit my head off because I had my nametag on the wrong side. She didn't know the difference herself until she joined the Junior League :rolleyes:

The Badge thing is true as well, though we only wear our Badges once during recruitment, and that was during Pref Ceremony (when I was still in school anyway).

Along with this, if you're wearing pants (especially low rise jeans, maybe on the first day) make sure your thong isn't hanging out! It's happened to me, and I had to be bumped immediately- our VP recruitment was NOT happy with me.

I agree with this whole-heartedly. At first it seems like an innocent question but its awkward to be speaking of other organizations while you are supposed to be learning about the house you're already in. But the PNM will feel pressured to respond since she was asked!

Eye contact, not creepy, but it shows interest. I think you are supposed to look at the nose not the eyes, so while the person percieves eye contact, it isn't a staring contest...someone can correct that for me.

The word 'like' it does not, like, come after every, like, word in, like, a sentence. Neither does "um....". If you cross your ankles, hold everything right and then bust out the 50 likes and ums you might as well have been comfortable becuase the language then ruins your body language.

Good handshake, not too limp, but don't break off the hand either.

From an old sorority girl...
 

(who can still sit down on the floor with legs folded and ankles crossed and get up properly :)

Politics are a taboo subject, stance on the War, etc;

When you introduce your guest to another sister make sure you look at your guest and say your sisters' name and vice versa. To this day I still introduce people like this making sure I say the name of the person to the opposite and vice versa;

If you shake hands, a quick swipe along your pantleg will dab any perspiration away--just make sure it doesn't splotch on your khakis--lol;

watches are pretty and can be a nice conversation piece, however, if you fiddle with it unknowingly, it can made your guest uncomfortable or make her think you aren't interested in her;

If your guest is tired and conversation is hard, give some value to your guest and say, I know you have had such a big day today I am glad to meet you or welcome, etc. Usually when you make a statement recognizing and valuing another they will become more interested. Commenting about the "big day" opens it up for them to say...yes, we have we were up at blah blah and there were 50 girls fighting for one outlet in the bathroom or whatever;

NEVER turn your back on a PNM;

It is funny, I still carry a lot of my Rush training to this day with me, even as a social worker going into some places that are lightyears away from my Greek life. Professional meetings, job interviews, etc. are all easier to me after rushing on all sides of the coin for 4+ years as both an undergrad and an alum.

Good luck!

Thanks soooooo much! This is all really healpful!

I'll probably be flamed for this, but keep in mind: "Politeness is to do and say/The kindest thing in the kindest way."

I say that because of a few scenarios I've seen and are posted above.

-If ANYTHING is mentioned which visibly creeps out the PNM, immediately apologize, and change the topic. Someone says "Khaki", PNM thinks about her brother in Iraq and looks creeped out. That's when you touch her lightly on the upper arm, and say, "I'm sure it hurts, and I understand. That's why philanthropy is SO important to us...." and talk about your philanthropy.

-In fact, any time a PNM looks upset or about to cry, touch her on the upper arm (needless to say, nowhere near her boobs!) and either ask her if she'd like a tissue, or guide her to the Rho Chi or bathroom (whichever is allowed).

-Our chapter collected watches prior to parties, and limited the use of cologne/perfume. You may not realize it, but the combination of several scents can be nasty! Also, no gum.

-Don't fuss with your hair. I'm always guilty of this, even if it's just shaking it out. It comes off as trying to be a commercial or something.

-Fall Rush: make sure that there's sufficient A/C or fans for twice the number of people who are going to be there. Everyone's nervous enough, you shouldn't have to worry about perspiration, too!

-A really good Recruitment Chair (or whatever you call it) will have
either a kit for each sister or one for each group of sisters rushing. Include coffee filters (to blot perspiration without ruining makeup), LOTS of breath mints, tissues, mirrors, lip gloss, combs, and anything your GLO needs for membership collection. We usually did this by group, and alumnae collected the boxes prior to each party.

I learned the quote as
"Diplomacy is to do and say/The nastiest thing in the nicest way."

Ironically, I saw it needlepointed on a pillow at a Junior League Decorator Showhouse.

SUCH A PET PEEVE HERE!!!

GIVE A GOOD FIRM HANDSHAKE!!!
(if you're allowed by panhel rules)
A weak handshake is the worst thing in the world. Grip firmly, up down twice, smile. Introduce yourself. If you have an unusual name, say it clearly. If you have a "preferred name" (I.E. TJ or Katie not Katherine) this is the time to state it (especially because nametags usually read "proper"names).

Weak handshakes convey a sense of unease and do not convey confidence and strength.

This is so true. Lots of times, you may casually mention something not realizing it could potentially offend the other person. 2 years ago, my roommate decided to go through recruitment, and one night in our room mentioned that she has a twin brother. One of my sisters asked her where her brother goes to college and my roommate told her that he doesn't go to school. She later told me that she was a little offended that my sister assumed that everyone would go to college.

Sorry for the double post, but I thought of another thing. If you are on a campus where there are both national and local groups, or groups from different councils, and you don't know anything about the other groups, say so in a POLITE way. Being the only local group on campus, we have heard many times from several different girls that the other groups on campus would say "this is how we do things because we're all national but we don't know about KLP cuz they're different and local" or something like that but it was said in a way that made it seem like we weren't a real sorority or something.

I only hope the women who are rushing also learned not to bring these up or risk losing a bid.

If you are in a situation where there are two sisters to one PNM: Be Aware of the other rusher with you!! I've seen overly talkative sisters completely drown out their partner or cut them off. PNMs will notice this and they will also notice if the other sister is getting visibly annoyed. Alternate answerig and asking questions so the PNM can see both personalities. Also, although it is good to show that you are close with your sisters be careful it doesnt' turn into a conversation between the two of you (this is more dangerous during informal)

honeychile brought up the no perfume issue and one thing we did one year was put the SAME scent on some different people, so it wasn't too strong but had a nice smell in the room.

The only reason we couldn't do it exactly this way was that 5-6 sisters had SEVERE allergies, and we couldn't find one that worked. So, we kept it to a minimum instead.

If the PNM has an unusual or slightly funny name, don't comment on it. Be mature instead! They've heard ALL the jokes already.

Take this advice from someone who has a last name that makes other people feel that they just have to make a "clever" comment!

Co-Sign

With the name Summer I get....
"But it's winter out side..."
"Where are Autumn, Winter, and Spring?"
"Are your sisters Autumn, Winter, and Spring?"
at least once a week.

DON'T GO THERE.
*lol* It just makes you look cheezy anyway.

On the perfume topic, I agree with the idea of everyone wearing the same scent, or at least scents that don't clash. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend perfume, but scented body lotion is a great and light way to wear a scent. Fresh floral ones are best in my opinion.

The only problem with that is perfume smells different on everyone. It might be great on the rush director, but smell like crap on everyone else. Perfume is such a personal thing, I could never deal with someone telling me what to wear - I'd rather just go without.

I agree on the firm handshake.

When another sister comes over to bump you and meet the PNM you're talking to, always introduce the sister to the PNM first. "Susie PNM, I'd like you to meet my sister Annie. Annie, this is Susie. We were just talking about..." Make sure the convo gets going, then move on through your own rotation.

Say nothing negative during a party, even if you're not talking to a PNM directly. I half-remember a story here on GC where a PNM lost interest in a particular sorority after overhearing a sister say to another sister, "I'm so sick of rush" (or something to that effect) during a party.

Aephi Alum you bring up a good point about handshakes. But make sure it's not too firm - one time I thought a PNM was going to rip my hand off!

Along with the say nothing negative, just be positivity itself. I know how hard this can be at the end of a long day, so have things on hand between parties to psych you up. I always put some m&ms in an area where PNMs didn't go, and between parties I would dash to that lil place and get my chocolate fix. And of course we all relied on each other to keep things going.

I'll stop my babbling now!

Another thing on handshakes...

I know at Auburn we were NOT allowed to touch the PNMs in any way unless they initiate it first. So make sure you are allowed to shake a girls hand first. But if she goes to shake your hand, then by all means, shake away ;)