Rush and looks?
 

Hello ladies (and gentlemen) I'm new to GC and already addicted to it :) This is such a great site and very helpful to the many young men and women involved in the greek community or wanting to be.

So here is my question to ya'll, Do looks honestly matter to your PERSONAL chapter? Would you rather have the drop dead gorgeous looks and an ok personality, or someone who is a little more full figured and maybe with a slight skin problem but a fabulous personality, gpa, and list of activities?

I know my opinion on the matter, just looking for everyone else's

looks absolutely do not matter in my chapter. yes, we have some super hot girls but we also have a few sisters who are overweight and many 'average' girls. i honestly have felt we ahve soem of the best women at our school in my chapter and it doesn't matetr what they look like. if looks mattered, i may not have ever gotetn in a sorority, as i was very punked out (pink hair and piercings) when i joined my chapter.

while that may not be the case fro all chapters, i don't think looks along will get anyone into a chapter. yeah, there are chapters with all 'hot chicks' but most of those women have to have somethingto offer the chapter besides taking a good composite pic.

i definately feel most fraternities don't care either. yeah, they might want a guy who fits their 'style' but i think when it comes down to it, if a guy is cool, he's cool, no matter what he looks like.

Looks matter. To what extent they matter depends on each chapter.

Also, there are different issues related to "looks" -- there's a big difference between having pink hair and piercings and being 100 pounds overweight with excess facial hair and acne.

I would say as long as you are polished and put together. Don't be looking "tore up from the floor up"--not gonna work at all!

Yes. A girl didn't have to necessarily be a beauty queen to get a bid from my chapter, but "appearance" was one of the things we looked for. That may not be what you want to hear, but that's how it was. However, like I said, appearance doesn't necessarily equate drop-dead gorgeous--more like how well put-together and well-groomed you are.

Agreed. Appearance is pretty important, not always "looks".

agree
 

This is a somewhat subjective topic. As a whole, chapters look for women who are the best fit for the chapter.

Each individual in a chapter, however, is victim to her own personal bias. So as a PNM, you could go in, have a great time at a chapter one day and click with the women you talk to, and then go back and have a horrible time, just because of who you meet at that next day's event!

So a chapter looking to recruit well-rounded women (and ostensibly, most chapters are looking for well rounded diverse members who will contribute to the chapter's growth) might have their efforts thwarted by a few well-meaning sisters trying to bid "face" girls.

In my Greek system in college, I saw beautiful girls get their top choice bids, and average girls get their top choice bids. Similiarly, there were also women of both groups who left recruitment disappointed with their options and choices. Confidence and being your personal best are very attractive qualities-- another reason to be a gracious guest and to be yourself at recruitment events, and to not listen to "gossip on the street" about the perceived top chapters.

Looks themselves don't matter. I know several girls who went through recruitment who were gorgeous but had the personality of a rock. However, no one wants the girl who has greasy hair and doesn't look like she took the time to shower before recruitment. Basically it's about being well-put-together overall.

well put together is important, neat and clean in appearance...someone who takes pride in themselves and their appearance.

I ask you, how could we NOT want someone with pink hair? Or, I should say, Old Rose! ;)

My old roommate rushed my chapter, and certain people didn't have very good things to say about her blue hair. Maybe I should've told her to change it to pink... :p

I think the pink hair impressed them. they asked me to join without me even realizing i was rushing....how funny is that. a girl with pink hair doing community service with them without necessarily wanting to join.....how could they not want me.....

and i happen to think the pink hair was hot, think GWEN STEFANI and cotton candy!...the piercings.....ehhh...i have gotten over them.

It's sad that body figures count. It's the appearance (hygiene) and personailty that counts. A girl that weighs 200 pounds that have a good personality and well mannered can still be cut rather than a girl weighs 100 pounds.

RULE OF THUMB to all of you PNMs:
If you want to dye your hair, dye it a nice color or put highlights that is an acceptable color for rush. Better yet, go to a hair stylist, because he or she knows what color is right for you. It will take up a lot of time, but it would be well worth it.

or just be yourself and there will be a group that wants you. if you want purple hair then get purple hair. what difference does it make if you dye your own hair. as long as you do not look like a slob who doesn't care about herself, you should be okay. besides, going through formal with pink hair is a way to stand out and have the groups remember you. some may not like it. others will see past hair color and want you for you.

The hard truth; Yeah they matter, but the extent varies from school to school and even among chapters. Unfortunately what one lacks in looks, they have to make up for in personality. Say there are only 2 spots left on your invite list, 2 girls have similar qualities (gpa, extracurrics, personality) but one is out of shape. Its no guess who'll get cut. If you are out of shape, the most important thing is to really let your personality shine. Really take care to wear clothing that is flattering to your specific figure.

There was a girl that went to high school with me that had BRIGHT HOT PINK hair going through rush (same rush as I did)

She got into her first choice house, which is one of the more "prestigious" houses.

Later I was talking to one of her new sisters, and they said that was how they remembered her. Her pink hair made her stick out. She was a 4.0 involved student, just like 78% of the girls rushing that year (of which there were almost 1,000) so I would say that the hair worked in her favor.

Too many times there are girls that slip through the cracks, and anything that makes you memorable can be good.

I said memorable, not stuck out like a sore thumb.

That said, the girls in my chapter range from overweight to beauty queens, however the common thread is they are all well dressed and polished in their appearance.

Last year we had a girl come through recruitment who wore bright orange leg warmers on our Philanthropy Day (generally girls are wearing skirts or nice pants/nice capris on this day). It was the only day she wore something that was a little 'out there', but everyone in our chapter remembered her for it. She's now our current chapter president.

That's really cool she made herself memorable.. and made herself President after only a year!

as someone else said, a lot depends on the campus where you are going thru recruitment. so pnms, please, please be aware of the temperment of your campus. if the climate of your campus is conservative, pink hair or orange leg warmers may not go over as big as it might on a more liberal thinking campus.

That's a pretty sentiment, but the fact of the matter is, some chapters and campuses are very very conservative. If you have a bad dye job or a hair color that doesn't grow out of the human head naturally, it will be a strike against you. Same with piercings, tattoos etc. It all depends on the school.

Exactly.

This is true. I don't know how well her outfit went with the other sororities, but if her intention was to be memorable then it worked with us! Plus, the girl has an amazing personality, great leadership skills (obviously, as we elected her president this year), and (on the topic that looks are not completely overlooked) she is pretty. She'd make a great addition to any chapter.
But I agree with FSUZeta, her outfit was definitely a rarity on our campus, and I don't know many girls that could pull it off.

Looks matter in rush. Looks matter in LIFE, kids! When I was sixteen and listening to punk rock, I wasn't accepted by the kids in the local punk scene because I rocked American Eagle tank tops with Express jeans. There are always going to be places that I'm not accepted because I'm not willing to change the way I look to fit in. The way you look does reflect something about you, even if you don't want to own up to that, or even if you feel like it doesn't.

If your personality is good enough, your looks will matter less. Even on the most competitive campuses at the most competitive houses, there are few instances where the girls are going to say, "We love her to death, she's hilarious, the sweetest girl in the universe, really smart, fun to be around, could easily be president of the chapter by next year -- but, you know, she's carrying an extra 15 pounds on her so we'll never bid her."

The problem is that you're only not going up against girls who are beautiful but have rotten personalities. You're going up against a lot of girls who are beautiful and have pretty good personalities, comparable to or better than yours. And let's face it -- no matter how good you think your personality is, if one were to rank the personalities of girls going through rush in an objective fashion (haha), you probably aren't going to be that top one percent. You probably won't be in the top TEN percent. You'd be lucky if you made top fifty. (LOL -- this is not directed at the original poster, whose personality I know nothing about. It's a general "you.")

That said, the original poster asked if looks mattered to your personal chapter, so to avoid side-stepping the question, I'll answer honestly. Yes, they did. They were never discussed in membership selection meetings, we certainly bid girls who were not drop-dead gorgeous, and if we thought a girl would make a good sister that was the number-one criteria -- but I know that girls took looks into account. I can also say with 98 percent assurance that this was true of every house at my school.

Being yourself is a strong statement, but if you attend a school with a very competitive rush, especially the SEC and other southern schools, having your hair color that is not brown, black, blonde, or red and applies to your skin color can be a red flag to a sororities. If you want to dye your hair from red to blonde, that's fine. But from red to blue, no.

I agree wholeheartedly with this and also want to add that it goes both ways. If you are at that rare liberal school with a Greek System, you can show up with your french (or maybe american) manicure, red toe nails, the latest Jimmy Choos, perfect make-up with perfect long straight highlighted hair and you may also be rejected. Looks matter, but they also need to mesh with the environment of the school. Sugar you know my alma mater, an SEC top 10 choice would have been looked at like she had three heads. Now women who rush and do not look gender specific, we were more comfortable with them. I'm not saying it was an 'ugly freaks' chapter (cause I know that is what some of you are thinking right now), we had our prom queens too and we tried hard to focus on personalities.

I'm just trying to get across to the pnms who are reading this that all chapters are not scary stepford wives in training, but we all have some basis on which we judge looks. Some will reject the too perfect, some will reject the less 'put together', some will reject the overweight, the quiet, the list goes on, but you need to be aware of your appearance and aim to have it mesh with the climate of your campus and the houses you are rushing. There are a HUGE variety of chapters out there PNMs HAVE to be aware of their campus and its culture.

Now that I look back on it, I probably should have put more effort into my appearance. I wore men's cargo pants, and old t-shirts for all the days except for preference, but I still got into my first choice house; mainly because I just fit there. However, I feel like my enthusiasm for recruitment helped me stick out. I was the only girl going through rush that had been a Girl Scout for 15 years haha. I go to a pretty small school though where it's a little different I guess.

Oh, this is good. I think we ought to sticky this quote at the top of the rush forum!

stretched lobe piercings, bright red short shaggy hair, Chuck taylors held together with duct tape, and an extra 20 lbs about the middle and still got a pledge pin.

...if i can do it, anyone can.

But that's the thing...it depends on the school. I would definitely NOT reccommend someone going through a competitive recruitment (such as SEC schools) to dress like that.

It may work at your school, but it won't work everywhere.

You go to Otterbein. Otterbein is not a typical college.

Exactly. It depends on the school, the sorority/sororities there, and the PNM as well. It's also can make a difference to go straight from athletic practice for a school team to recruitment, which I think happened in Phoenix's case.

I wouldn't recommend such attire at Ohio State, which is just about 15 minutes from Otterbein.

Right. We had a majorette come through this past recruitment, and she was in her t-shirt and soffee shorts because she has just come from practice. That is completely understandable.

BTW, she's my great-grand little now :)

We had a girl come through recruitment last year who literally rolled out of bed, didn't brush her hair, and wore capri pants with her legs unshaved. (I unfortunately know this for a fact because I lived with her, several people on here know who I'm talking about.) That definitely raised a few eyebrows and got people talking. After that, sorority council voted to make PNM's wear business casual attire to recruitment. So they did for Fall recruitment of this year. Most of the girls showed up in jeans and flip flops still. I think maybe only one girl who went through didn't get a bid. I agree with the posters on here who say that looking clean and put together is more important than being pretty. Regarding looks in general, I've found that to girls they only matter when you don't like someone. If for instance you have a friend who's fat or ugly or whatnot, looks never play into it because you see her for what she is. It's only when you get into a fight when you start to say "I hate her, she's so ugly."

Yes looks matter. As was pointed out before... they matter in real life. How you dress says something about you. No matter what.
I look young, and I KNOW people CONSTANTLY make assumptions about me based on that. So when I know I need to be taken more seriously I have to wear more make up, make sure to dress in more "classic" styles wear my glasses and shoes with heels, or I'll never be taken seriously in certain situations because people still think I'm 18, which I'm not I just turned 26.
Sororities will make assumptions based upon your looks, as will the general public As was said, you don't HAVE to be a beauty queen... but it's up to you what you want your "look" to say about you when you rush, and DO put your best foot foward.

Looks definitely mattered in my chapter, however at the same time you could've been the prettiest girl on campus but if you didn't have good grades and you weren't involved in high school, you had no chance. We wanted girls that could keep us going not just in the social arena but academically and otherwise.

And let me just say, people tend to look much better when they're showered and put together. I was always taught never to leave the house without spending some time on my appearance(unless, of course, it's an emergency).

In general, you definitely do not have to be drop dead gorgeous to be in a sorority. Just dress nice and please shower beforehand! ;)

And remember: the most important thing you wear is your attitude!

exactly :).

No, I know that I wouldn't fit in at many different schools...but that's the thing. Girls come through our recruitment dressed to the 9s, and there's also girls who wear PJ pants and "get away with it" (meaning it doesnt hurt their recruitment prospects). The flipside to all of this is the delayed recruitment...these girls have some sort of tie to sorority members, its inevitable, so appearance is perhaps not chief in importance. But in a situation in which recruitment is perhaps the FIRST thing you do on campus...appearance might be more important. I think as a general rule, there needs to be publicized, reinforced emphasis on "appropriate" dress code, casual, formal, or business. Most girls have no idea what is and is not, so being off put by a rushee's attire may point to the fact that something in the pre-rush communication is missing. However if it well advertised and well communicated to everyone going through rush that jeans are NOT acceptable and business attire is required (incidentally, business attire may need to be defined (pants, skirt, blouse, hard sole shoes comes to mind)) then fair game. And the arguement of "everyone knows it is like this" is sort of tricky...yes you have 1000s of PNMS coming through from the town who's great grandma is on your charter, but there's also that girl who is a first generation rushee and may need a clue.

I think we have definately established that looks are just a part of life. I think this is especially true for women over men... I love what Sugar and Spice wrote... it really is perfecst to my chapter when I was an undergrad.
When I was in school we stressed polished. I really think it is important to try to look your best, but we all have days when it seems impossible to look your best.

I completely agree with sugar and spice's statement, but would like to add one thing: Hygiene. We had a PNM who looked like the total package - you could almost feel the fight for her starting - until you got close to her. She had the WORST body odor of any woman I've ever seen outside of a gym! I'm talking tears forming in your eyes as you tried to talk to her. If you remember the Seinfeld episode with the valet and the car stench, you have an idea of what I'm talking about.

She did get a bid, although I heard she didn't make the grades.