Lavaliering/Pinning/Letters In Phi Mu Alpha???
 

My boyfriend is currently a member of Phi Mu Alpha and he claims that as a Sinfonian they aren't allowed to let their girlfreinds where their letters at all, period. Is this true?

Sorry, pheemusweetie, I don't know how I missed this post for so long.

Your boyfriend is right. While some chapters will not be as strict about it as others, and given exceptions of necessity (I would never let my wife stay cold while I was wearing a lettered sweatshirt, for example), the general rule is that only brothers wear the letters.

I seem to recall there was some discussion a while back about making jewelry available that could be given to girlfriends/wives/sweethearts in lieu of a lettered lavelier, but I don't know if anything has been done about that.

I'm begining to wonder about the Sinfonians at my campus. Just about everything you say (and somehow I think I'm taking your word, someone who I've never met over that chapter's) the chapter at WIU does opposite. I remember a Sinfonian told me that they readily give away sweatshirts, just not lavaliers (although they do lavalier g/f or fiancees). That could be though, b/c they did Mother/Son, Father/Daughter with MFE. (And yes, MFE being co-ed, some MFE's ended up with 2 dads [but still called their MFE parent "mom", even though he was male])

It's not necessarily a well-articulated policy, AlphaFrog. The only actual policy we have on the subject is that probationary members (pledges, if you will) may not wear the Greek letters FMA or the Fraternity's Coat-of-Arms until after initiation, at which time they are considered brother Sinfonians.

There's been a lot of discussion on this in recent years, and the majority feeling has been that if PMs cannot wear Greek letters because they are not yet brothers, then neither should any other non-Sinfonian. Some brothers/chapters will disagree with this position, and as it's not an actual policy, but rather a generally but not universally accepted rule, well . . .

Until a year or so ago, our official jeweler offered lettered laveliers, but they no longer do. I have the impression Lyrecrest asked them to pull that item as a result of the discussion on non-Sinfonians wearing letters.

Some chapters (and probably some provinces, since things like this become part of the culture of the province) are more, shall we say, "strict" about it than others. The idea of giving letters to girlfriends/sweethearts is so entrenched some places that it's a hard habit to break, especially without a "new tradition" to take its place. So I wouldn't say the brothers at WIU (Kappa Psi?)are "wrong," just in the minority on this point. Make sense?

Wearing Greek Letters
 

We would let our pledges wear T-Shirts prior to initiation that actually spelled out "Phi Mu Alpha". This way we wouldn't actually let them wear Greek Letters but still represent around campus.

Sigma Chi did something similiar during one of their annual "Fight Night" events.

Brief History on Fight Night - The Sigs used hold these amateur boxing tournaments that were hosted at a local night club. The club would actually put up a real live boxing ring and different greeks would box against each other through 3 different levels (Light Weight, Medium Weight, and Heavy Weight). We actually did send two Phi Mu Alpha guys one year that kicked butt!

Anyway, they used to sell T-shirts at the event to the general public but the shirts never had greek letters. They actually spelled out "Sigma Chi".

Re: Wearing Greek Letters
 

Right. The policy regarding PMs specifically prohibits wearing the Greek letters, not "Phi Mu Alpha" spelled out.

Thanks for responding to my question! I just didn't know because it appeared that some chapters were a little bit less strict with who wears their letters and who doesnt, and i was a little confused. :)

It's all good Pheemusweetie...what school are you referring to?

Western Illinois University is the school that I attend, but I read some things from I think Valparaiso about the lavaliering and pinning and such.

I'm PMing you because I probably know you;)

Re: Re: Wearing Greek Letters
 

I've never understood this policy. Whether the letters are spelled out or stand as greek letters...you're still wearing something you don't know the meaning of yet, so why should it be allowed?

Not trying to point fingers or anything, I guess it just doesn't make much sense to me. :)

Re: Re: Re: Wearing Greek Letters
 

The Greek Alphabet, as in all GLOs, signifies Greek. If you spell out the words then it's just that and not Greek. The pledge with the words spelled out is not Greek.


Yours in GC,

Boodleboy322

There has been some discussion about this by the Exec Board of my chapter (Iota Omicron, Bowling Green State University) recently, because our Vice Pres's fiancee goes to a school where lavaliering is apparently frequent and encouraged.

First off, I'm not entirely sure what lavaliering IS... I've heard that it's:

1. a brother giving his girlfriend a specific piece of jewerly with the Greek letters on it.
2. a ceremony where the chapter "adopts" a person without initiating them, and then they can wear letters.
3. a brother giving his fiancee a set of letters.

Is is one of these? Or does it vary from place to place? I find myself a little irritated at being in the dark on this matter, considering that I am the Fraternal EDUCATION Officer of our chapter. :p

Secondly, I know that it's been/being discussed... but man, would it be nice to have some definitive answers on this. This is something that I think needs consistency across chapters because I would hate to use our hailing call on someone in letters (example #2 above), and then find out that they haven't been initiated. Also, if it IS acceptable, I know MY fiancee would love to wear my letters (she always talks about how comfortable they look)...

Buttnose:

While the specifics vary from organization to organization and probably from chapter to chapter (i.e. our Alpha Gamma Delta chapter here has a formal ceremony), lavaliering is essentially an Active giving his girlfriend a charm of our letters on a chain (#1)...in our chapter we did this shortly before classes let out and the brother sought consent from the chapter beforehand. basically what we as a chapter did is accept her into the organization in the sense that, while she won't know any of the secrets, she can wear our letters (kinda like #2).

the ceremony that we performed wasn't anything special (much to my dismay) and probably isn't secretive.

lavaliering is usually seen as a precursor to marriage.

lavaliers ARE for sale through Sinfonia's website.

Hey nehpets99.

Lavaliers are no longer available from either The Sinfonia Store at Sinfonia's website or from Burr-Patterson (our official jeweller). Burr-Patterson's website does have a heart charm with the letters FMA inside the heart, but no lavelier. (A lavelier is a necklace with the letters hanging from each other.)

My understanding is that laveliers were removed from the Sinfonia Store website and from the Burr-Patterson website a year or two ago because of concerns over non-brothers wearing our letters. I'm not sure when Burr-Patterson put the lettered heart charm back on their website. (Maybe they still have some they want to get rid of.)

Buttnose, there has been discussion of this at a national level, but you're right that practices still vary from chapter to chapter.

My understanding, however, is that the majority view nationally is that no one who is not a brother, including sweethearts, is to wear our Greek letters. This understanding is based in part on the currently stated policy (in the Guide to the Colony Program) that Probationary Members, because they are not yet Sinfonians, are not permitted to wear the Greek letters or the coat-of-arms.

The confusion may get cleared up, though. A proposal will be considered by the National Assembly next month to add this language to Article XX (Rituals and Symbols) of the National Constitution:

Display of Symbols. Only Sinfonians in good standing may wear or otherwise display the Greek letters "FMA"or the Fraternity’s Coat-of-Arms. Probationary members may not wear or otherwise display these symbols at any time prior to initiation. A member may not authorize or encourage a non-Sinfonian to wear or otherwise display these symbols.

Anyone having thoughts on this proposed legislation (or any other proposed legislation, clieck here for the full docket) is encouraged to talk with their Province Governor or CPR.

And for what's it's worth, I've never heard of allowing anyone other than a girlfriend/fiancee to wear our letters or "adopting" someone who can wear our letters. I admittedly have an opinion on this, but as far as I'm concerned, if you don't know what the letters mean, you have no business wearing them.

It is my understanding that the proposed amendment to Article XX was adopted at the National Assembly last week.

Hello, all. I am from the Kappa Sigma chapter of PMA at Valparaiso University. I see that we have already been mentioned, so I felt the need to detail our process. It is very similar to what nehpets99 said about it, except we don't require permission from the brotherhood. Granted, it is seen as a very good thing to get permission first, but it is not without precedent to do it without full knowledge of the brotherhood.

The way that we view lavaliering here at KS is that it isn't so much that you just want your loved one to wear your letters, but you want to bring them into your fraternal "family". They still don't learn fraternity secrets, as they aren't an active brother, but they are allowed to wear letters and just get to be more intigrated into the fraternity. And yes, it is also generally seen as a precursor to engagement/marraige.

Also, it is generally seen that you only ever get one lavaliering. If you happen to break up with someone that you lavaliered, generally you cannot re-lavalier. Again, it is not without precedent, but it is quite a social faux pas.

That's weird about not selling them anymore... Our campus bookstore still sells some PMA lavaliers. How odd...

However, this new amendement could change things very soon... Hmm... I think we have a lazy provence governor, as we've never heard of anything about this...

Welcome, Brother Tarc! Glad to have you here!

I doubt that it's a matter of a lazy PG. From what I can tell, practice has varied from chapter to chapter and province to province. From your description, it sounds like Kappa Sigma (about which I have always heard great things) has made laveliering a regular practice. Perhaps it has been accepted practice in your Province as well. While perhaps a majority of chapters have, at least recently, decided that only Sinfonians should were the letters, many others have viewed it differently.

The amendment approved last week was, I think, a referendum on whether there should be a standard practice across the Fraternity or whether we should continue with variation from chapter to chapter and province to province. It would seem that the decision was that there should be a standard practice across the Fraternity.

Note, though, that the only two things that are "prohibited" are the Greek letters and the coat-of-arms.

So, if it is now illegal nationally for anyone but brothers to wear letters or the crest, does that mean that all of those who have been lavaliered can no longer wear the letters that were given to them...?

Also, I searched sinfonia.org for the official ruling/statement on the matter, but I haven't found anything, so if any one could link to the official statement on the matter so I can pass it along, that would be great.

Thanks everyone!

OASAASLLS

I would assume that, in the spirit of affection, we would consider them "grandfathered" ("grandmothered"?).

It does not appear that sinfonia.org has been updated with the business transacted at the Assembly, but the docket can be found here. The proposal that I quoted above is NCP52-18 (found at page 45 of the .pdf file). According either to something I read at the 2006 Sinfonia Convention Blog or on sinfonia.org's listserv (not sure which), the proposal was adopted by the National Assembly.

I assume that sinfonia.org will be updated fairly soon to provide reports on the National Assembly and to provide updated copies of the Constitution and General Regulations. In the meantime, contact your Province Governor or CPR.

I'm glad that this topic is getting more attention! On the SDG (national Sinfonian Listserv) just recently, there were a couple of emails that referenced this thread. It seems like there are many brothers who are frustrated or concerned with the lack of an enforced standard in this matter. Hopefully with the new legislation, this will become a clearly defined matter across every chapter.

Lavaliering
 

I personally don't see the lavaliering concept to be an issue. I agree with my brothers at KS in that it seems like a controled methodology that premotes the "family" bond without revealing secrets.

Anyone interested in amending has my support.

Regards,

Boodleboy322

The issue at hand is that there are people walking around, for whatever reason, wearing the insignia of our fraternity. For legal liability sake, this means people can hurt our good name while "representing" us. According to our order NOBODY who has not been an initiated brother can wear our letters or Coat of Arms (it's NOT a crest). Now for chivalry's sake, sure, give up your jacket or hoodie to your significant other when need be, but don't make it a common thing to have that person wear our letters for leisure.

Edward J Stringham, Iota chapter, wrote in the 1914 Sinfonia Yearbook: "Always remember that you are only one of many, yet a thousand eyes are upon you and will judge the whole Fraternity by your deeds, words, and character." This being said, don't let somebody not initiated act with our letters on them in any way, because you never know how they will represent us.

recently, the Sinfonia store has been selling sweetheart clothing. The clothing says "Sinfonian sweetheart", and after reviewing the national constitution it seems that this is an acceptable loop hole in the matter. i know this does nothing to help those who are not brothers who own letters, it may help those who wish get some sort of gift for girlfriends, sweethearts, etc. Just put Sinfonia on there instead of the letters.

Welcome bschloz, and thanks for pointing out the Sinfonian Sweetheart items that the Sinfonia Store has. My understanding is that there will be more to come.

I'm seeing MysticCat's order form under Special Comments or Requests saying, "Does that come in Kappa?".:D

I'll just see if I can get something with chrysanthemums and irises on it. :D

Wearing the Letters
 

The Fraternity is a social and male fraternity. There shouldn't be any issue if the Ms/Mrs. has them in my opinion. No harm - No foul since the letters pertain to the group and not your woman.

I know we can't wear each other's letters, but.....

Say if I were to order my boyfriend and I matching letters, could mine have "G phi B" in Greek, and then "phi mu alpha" spelled out across them (with sweetheart underneath)?
and vice versa, could I get him PMA letters with "gamma phi beta" spelled out across them?


Or is it somehow desecrating them? I had a friend who had ADpi letters like that, and thought it was really cute.

I don't want to break any rules or spend a fortune on something we can't wear....

So far as I know, what you've described would be fine. Feelings about how far one can go with the letters thing can vary from chapter to chapter though, so you might ask some of his chapter brothers whether they'd see a problem, but I don't see one. Sounds cool!

Thanks! I have gotten a lot closer with his brothers over the last year, so I think I could get a good answer without them spilling the beans.
We're about to graduate now, but I still think it would be a really cool gift.