Vent
 

Take the hint that the chapter isn't interested.

Seriously.

I am just telling you like it is. If you have tried and tried and they have ignored you -- let it go.

I agree with Tippie.

Also, I'm at grad school at a school with DG, and I've seen girls in DG letters, but I haven't run over to them going "OMG I'm a DG too!!" because I'm on my way to class or I just don't feel like going over there. It's not that I don't care that she's a DG, I just don't go talk to her.

Agreed - it's annoying, but unfortunately, not all chapters are welcoming to those from other schools.

I agree. That's pretty damn sad. They could at least be civil or fake it.

Pardon

It seems that Sad to Me. Me but they are Idiots and not worthy to be called Sisters!:(

What is amazing is that Your Group isnt that big and should Welcome any Sister Who wants to Join with Them In Your Sisterhood!:)

While I don't condone this behavior at all, I don't really think it's fair to assume that they're doing this on purpose. I also start thinking about some chapters across the country that don't even allow alums to help out at rush events.

I also don't think the term "idiot" is appropriate in this case no one really has the right to say they're not worthy of being her sisters. :rolleyes: Unless you're from this chapter in question, you don't really know why they're behaving this way. (I know I quoted your post, Phyllis, but that above paragraph wasn't directed to you.)

Maybe the chapter's already set with who's going to do what during Recruitment. Maybe they don't want to have to accomodate an 'outsider' (forgive me for using that term because I can't think of a better one right now) during this hectic time. Maybe they're busy and the fact that they do have an alumna willing to help slipped their minds. Maybe they're afraid that you might not mesh well with them and you might affect their chapter dynamics.

That being said, I'm sorry that you're really feeling shitty right now Caryn. You know that SDT extends well beyond this chapter, so hopefully soon you'll find a bunch of sisters who'll be more accepting.

I am sorry you are having a bad experience. As a possible defense, maybe they just don't get the big picture yet. As collegians, they might not really understand that they are part of an organization that is bigger than just their own chapter. (Of course they KNOW that, but they might not really understand what that means.) I think a group of young girls may not realize that their actions are offending you and aren't in the spirit of sisterhood. College-aged kids can be pretty self-absorbed sometimes. I hope it gets better for you.

This is very true.

When I was a collegian I was one of the few that had the opportunity to go to Convention and meet sisters of all ages. Even after I had returned, they couldn't understand why I was so very gung ho about emails/message boards/AIM messages from sisters across the country.

They thought I was crazy when I sent "Good luck with Recruitment!" cards to different chapters one Fall.

Sure, they knew AGD was international, as irishpipes said, they didn't quite understand the big picture and they were slow to accept that there were thousands of sisters we were able to reach out to outside our chapter.

But then again, we are in Hawai`i, so I can kind of understand the whole self-isolation thing.

I know - I don't like it any more than you do. I've always tried to be accomodating to brothers from other schools. I know there are brothers in my org, as well as members of other orgs, who don't necessarily see it that way.

OTW, I understand what you're saying on the good luck notes. I used to send congratulations emails to chapters that got chartered, and people would be surprised by that.

I think it's sad that this chapter would do this to you. :( I hope that they are not doing this intentionally.

I don't know. Maybe it is just me getting older, but something I've noticed in general is that undergrads don't get overly excited, or in some cases, it doesn't phase them at all if an alumna from their own chapter, and especially from another chapter, comes along. It's something I have actually witnessed firsthand when running into other DPhiE's who are undergrads at stuff here in NYC. A couple years ago a few of us from the MetroDPhiE AA ran into a whole bunch of the actives from NYU at the breast cancer walk in Central Park. We went up and introduced ourselves, and a couple of them were polite and said hi, but otherwise, the group as a whole hardly glanced our way.

I really appreciated the cards and emails i got when we got chartered.

I think that's kinda harsh... I could see that if she were trying to JOIN and she was being an annoying COB candidate not getting the hint, but she already JOINED..I think she should be able to expect more from her sisters.
At the very least I think she deserves a "we don't really need any help right now, but it's good to know we have a sister out there that we can count on if we do need help."

Yes. It is harsh. But, it's at least honest.

Some sisters don't have the tact necessary for relaying the chapter's feelings towards outside help from alumnae. And, that is unfortunate.

But, if she's contacted them and let them know she's available, they are aware of her presence and offer to help. Why keep beating a dead horse? It's awesome that she wants to help. But, I think it's their loss if they choose not to accept the help. It is their choice, though.

I am not saying that this is the case where you are Caryn, but something I have seen in the past, is that certain orgs/chapters still do things that would be considered "hazing" in order to become a member of their chapter. They often look at members of another chapter as outsiders because they didn't "go through what they did". Because of this belief, they are hesitant about letting "outsiders" into the group, even if they still have those same letters on their chest.

Unfortunatly, todays New and Young Members dont have the same feeling other than it is My Chapter and My Members.:rolleyes:

They cannot see in the beyond with what some one can do to help or just be a Member.

I guess I have been Lucky in Most part with My visits to other Chapters of LXA. Actually only two bad experiences.

When it warms up, think I will go visiting to the 3 nearest Chapters, KU, William-Jewel, and UMKC!:)


TACT is a good word for just being inconsiderate or maybe shy by a few but not all!

Hold Your Head High, Wear Your Letters with Pride, You desearve it and show how much bigger person You are!:)

Awww, I can understand why you're a little miffed! They should at least say hello, at least in my opinion. Maybe they just don't realize that it's hurtful to blow off a sister, even if you are from a different chapter. I'm sort of experiencing the same thing now--I'm going to grad school at a different university than the one where I went undergrad, and there's a DZ chapter there. They don't really speak to me much, either (well, at all, really), but then, I haven't really made the effort to get to know them so I'm not upset about it. I'm sort of shy about introducing myself to people, and plus the campus culture is way, waaaaaaaaaay different from what I'm used to so I'm not even sure they'd welcome getting to know an alum from another chapter. But now, if I were still an undergrad, it would be a completely different story...

This seems very strange to me. Is it more common among sororities? My experience has been that we go all out to recognize a visiting brother, if a guy who is an initiated brother transfers in we make sure he is included, and once we had a guy who pledged another chapter transfer to our campus. He was invited to continue with us upon recommendation of his former chapter. When he was initiated a bunch of the brothers from his 'mother' chapter came to the event to support him through.
A brother is a brother. My dad and grand dad still attend alumni lunches and meet with brothers from several different chapters.
When I was in Law School we had no chapter locally so when I saw anyone recognizable I made sure I introduced myself. When I was on active duty alums from other chapters made sure we met up regularly.
How about guys in other fraternities? Is that pretty much how you all see it?

Ideally, yes. Whenever my chapter knew of brothers coming into town, or whenever we came across a brother from another school, we tried to be as accomodating as possible. If we knew of a brother who had transferred, he was offered affiliation once we had made sure he was indeed a brother. I've also been in other areas of the country where I was welcomed by brothers from other chapters.

Unfortunately, though, I've heard stories where members of my fraternity and members of other fraternities were not treated so well by their brothers. While it would be nice to think that this never happens, there are chapters of different fraternities that aren't quite as accomodating.

Well after the tale I heard last night about why a certain chapter doesn't associate with our Alumnae Association and their own chapter alumnae, nothing surprises me anymore about undergrads ;).