Gay men and lisps- potentially controversial thread
 

So i'm sitting here watching Made (the MTV show), and the guy that is the focus of this episode is absolutely FLAMING.

His lisp is driving me insane.

What is the deal with gay men and lisping? Obviously not all gay men have lisps, but why do some have such incredibly exaggerated lisps? I just don't get it. WHY?

I'm obviously not trying to be offensive, I serious do NOT get this!

I don't understand the lisp thing either. A guy I grew up with had a totally normal voice as a child. He started hanging around with the drama crowd and suddenly began prancing and lisping. My dad suggested I take him to our high school's Sadie Hawkins dance and I said, "Uh, I don't think he wants a girl for a date," and my dad got mad that I defiled his friend's son's honor.

Well Dad, I guess you've seen Lee in Heaven by now...AIDS sent him there 10 years ago.:(

This is a little bit off on a tangent. A few years ago, I was talking to some friends of a friend. These guys I was talking to were gay and they were saying that it seems like young gay men (like college-aged) tend to have more exagerated, flambouyant mannerisms. These guys were saying that the guys they knew kinda toned it down as they got older. Their theory was that when these guys are young and newly out-of-the-closet, they're still trying to figure out where they belong and still trying to find their way in the gay community. And it's just easier to get noticed by other young and inexperienced gay men if they adopt the stereotypical gay mannerisms. As they get older and more mature, many of them become more comfortable with themselves and their sexuality and kinda mellow out/not be as out there.

You know, I have always wondered about this, too...I know some gay guys who speak normally, and others who lisp a lot. So what gives? I mean, it's not the kind of thing you ask someone or I would have by now... :p

In theory, there is supposed to be a socialization factor to sexual indentity. So the lisp, half-cocked wrist and other mannerisms would be learned behaviors as a way of showing sexual preference through body language.

Another example. We all know people that smoke pot, maybe even a lot of it. Not all of them start wearing hippy stlyles become rastafarian and change the way they speak and deal witht he world.

They are mimicing a social role. Shrug. Seems silly to me, but what the hell do i know.

I would ask someone. But, I am not always very . . uhm sensitive.

Introduce me to one of your flaming friends and I'll asj him for you ;)

I've got a few gay friends that have said this exact same thing before. Unfortunately, some of them never mature or become comfortable enough with themselves to end this odd behavior.

guys who acts and talks like a girl is THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER! i was sitting in the cafe studing for my finals and these group of gay guys sits maybe 2-3 tables away, all i hear is girl voices. they keep calling each other girl this and girl that and talking about new shoes.

I have to say I don't really understand it either. I have one pretty good friend who is gay and he is very flaming. Huge lisp and everything. He was already "out" when I met him, so I wonder if he always had this lisp. Who knows.

Does anyone else also automatically wonder about a man's sexuality if he has a lisp? For example, I met this very hot guy at happy hour one night, and I know he's not gay, but he has a lisp... and it automatically makes him seem like he could be gay.

What is the deal with female attorneys and bitchiness? Every one that I've encountered is beyond redemption.

Is it a stereotype? Are stereotypes hurtful? You be the judge, Danielle.

I'm sorry that you are having such a bad day that you need to create a fake username so that you can vent and try to insult people. Surely you're too ashamed or not confident enough in yourself to do it under your real name. I hope your day gets better and that you feel better about yourself soon.

:)

I <3 Danielle!

Me: Kettle
Danielle: Pot

Pot: "Kettle, you're black!"


But seriously, how is my question different? Can you answer it? Are female attorneys bitchy? Are stereotypes hurtful?

You're the one who is hiding behind a fake screenname. I'd at least give you some credibility if you posted under your real name. Obviously you're an active GCer under another name, so you'd likely know that no one gives sock puppets any credibility.

Why are you talking about stereotypes? Who is stereotyping?

Do ALL gay men have lisps??
Are ALL female attourneys bitchy??

She spesifcally said SOME.

And unless you are a gay man, why are you getting offended?

It's Valkyrie dude. C'mon. Think about it.

I love Valkyrie. She's the shit.

Now that you know it's Valkyrie go on and fight till the death.

wow, this thread is a little short of offensive

It wasn't supposed to be offensive. I didn't make any assumptions and I was curious. I clearly stated that I knew not all gay men had a lisp.

I was curious if it was a cultural thing, or had some sort of physical connection. I didn't know, I still don't know.

If it's offensive, then please educate me.

I have known (not in the Biblical sense, obviously) more than my share of gay men. The less macho of them usually lisp, the more macho ones don't. I tend to think they're showing their "role" with the lisp (or the limp wrist, etc) - or a cultural thing.

On a tangent but, the other day, I was thinking about every guy in high school and college who I either knew was gay or suspected was. Every last one of them has either died of AIDS or has HIV. Absolutely heartbreaking.

I love valkyrie too. That's why I'm :( that she might have filed for divorce from GC. At least she didn't proclaim that she was taking her ball and leaving the playground like some other people. :)

That being said, this sock puppet isn't her.

oh, honey, your or this topic is not offensive, just some of the ignorance displayed here.

I really find it hard to believe that homosexuality and lisps have any parrelel except coinsidence (sp)

I'd send you a PM (private message) but you don't have private messages enabled.

Go ahead now, i enabled it... i didnt know it was disabled

Woah what happened to her?? :confused:

It seems, in your efforts to be kind and accepting toward everyone, you've managed to completely ignore (completely acceptable) potential relationships.

Let's look at it like this:

1 - Do people pick up mannerisms from their friends, associates and peers? For instance, if I were to use 'word' as a response in the affirmative, do you think others around me might start to do it?

2 - Do people indicate personality traits through verbal and non-verbal communication?

3 - Are there conscious (and psuedo-conscious) 'roles' we take on to communicate attributes to others, and to prepare them for future communication?

4 - Is there the potential for group attributes and dynamics to play a role in combining 1, 2 and 3 into the formation of taking on a certain quality within a certain segment of a certain community?

Note that this has the potential to play many roles, all of which are positive:

-Communicate to others potential 'standing' within their subgroup
-Seeking out others within the same group
-Defense mechanism in identification within the group ('playing to what is accepted/popular', as it were)
-'Softening' or preparing others for later disclosure of group status, if required
-Differentiating oneself from the general community
-Including oneself within the specific community

Now, had people been applying negative stereotypical feelings (such as "i hate people who speak like stereotypical _____" or "all ______ talk like ______") then I would agree with you. But social psychology would seem to provide ample opportunity, aside from coincidence, for the behavior to take root.

I'm not sure I'm qualified to say anything beyond "it's quite possible that it is not coincidence, or even probable", however, because I'm not a social psychologist by trade.

[hijack] Didn't we have another poster named Sock Puppet? Maybe I'm just imagining that because that picture has popped up so many times before. [/hijack]

I think it's a difference of an underscore _

Alrighty then. At least I know I wasn't hallucinating again.:p

Well I don't know about that ;)

Yes, the original Sock_Puppet was INTARWEB FRENZ with SHEETCAKE, ReclinaLounger, and GLUE STICK. It was not rude and did not call anyone an alcoholic. :)

Maybe that entity can be called RUMCAKE

lol, funny thread

Oh Jeez - you know me too well!;)