The History of Pinnings?
 

Calling all alumni! Perhaps Tom and Erik most specifically...

So a pledge brother of mine pinned his girlfriend on Monday night. I drove down from Omaha to see it and party afterwards, had a great time, yada;yada;yada.

You could tell that this was an important event for him, b/c he was somewhat flustered, and the ceremony was somewhat disorganized, although really touching and emotional.

So I thought to myself, perhaps I could write a quick guideline to a pinning ceremony (not that it would ever be used in my chapter...we've only had 3 in 5 years...some chapters - SigEp - have like that many in April alone...anyways)

So, I was wondering if anyone knew the history behind pinnings? For some reason I vaguely remember some silver grey saying how back in the 30s-50s it was basically signifying that the young woman was almost ready to "take care of" her future husband...by this I mean that mothers were invited to pledging ceremonies in order to pin the pledge button on the young man, signifying she was transferring care of her son to the fraternity. Later when her son had found that special girl, he pinned her and it represented that she was going to take care of him soon (pinning = engagement precursor) and the fraternity had "done its job".

Again, I'm not sure when or where I heard or even if I just made it up somehow. Obviously, it's sexist and quaint by today's standards, but doesn't seem all that farfetched. I also realize that this is probably something that is highly variable from campus to campus (just like everything else on GC). but if this explanation, or any other credible explanations exist, I think it would be interesting to add to my little ceremony schedule.

I'm in my Dad's office in London right now, so when I saw this question I asked him about pinning. He tells me that back in the 60s pinning was considered a very serious committment and was tantamount to a formal engagement. In his chapter they did not use a pinning ceremony per se but rather it was a private event between the two principals that would be recognized by the whole chapter at the next weekly function. Some people treated pinning as a 'pre-engagement' and most tended to view it as an engagement made official by the giving of the pin in lieu of an engagement ring. My experience was similar to Dad's but I think we tended to view it as a pre-engagement, very serious but not quite as bindingly committed as a formal engagement, although damned close. I know some houses had pinning ceremonies but I never saw one at our house. There probably is such a ceremony but I do not think it was ever in widespread use in our fraternity.

dekeguy, Your Dad is right.

I cannot go all of the way back, but Pinnings were a Big thing back then.

It preculuded Engagement. I signafied a Pre-Engagement and was a very big thing.

The Members of The Fraternity would go to said persons House, serenade The Sorority, The Sisters Would Bring the "Victum" Out and She was Presented the Fraternity Brothers Badge as a sign of His devotion. She was then protected by The Members of The Fraternity as one of their own.

That along with many old ideas have changed today.:(

I guess I need to clairfy my question. I know that pinning is a pre-cursor to engagement. I also know that at a lot of places they do laviliering (sp?). I also get the significance and the importance...that part I know.

I guess what I'm trying to get after is, how/when did pinnings start? Beyond just the importance of giving you're girlfriend/fiance to be, your letters (thus signifying her importance in your life), is there any other symbolism in the act? Like obviously, in the example I gave, there is a little bit more to the idea than just the pending engagement.

Pinnings go back a long time. One story passed through ZTA is that one of our Founders was given a Pi Kappa Alpha pin by a potential suitor. She lost the pin, though. So that goes back to sometime around 1898.

I received a lavalier and pin from my now husband before we got engaged. I still treasure them both. His lavalier is now on my charm bracelet and I still wear his pin below my badge!

So, they would actually give the girl the Brother's Badge? Is this something that is common in other organizations? Because it's something that isn't allowed in mine, that's for sure!

pinning
 

Several of my sorority sisiters were "pinned" and yes, they did have their boyfriend's badges and letters. Most of them were more excited for the sweatshirt with letters than the actual pin as we didn't wear our badges as often as sweatshirts. Oddly enough, only 1 couple I know of that was pinned made it all the way to marriage.

I don't know the history of how pinning got started, but according to my stepdad it was a lot more common when he was in school (that was back in the late 50s-early 60s) than it is now. I know of some schools that still do it, but the whole time I was active I never saw a pinning. For us, it went lavaliering, then engagement. Do you think it's because fraternities have stricter rules now about who can wear their badges?

It actually may have waned as Fraternity Badges were not Cheao!

I did not give My Future Wife Mine! I worked to hard to get it and I wanted to wear it! It lasted a Year of wearing as I Graduated 1 year after We were Chartered and would not let Her Wear The Local I started for the same reason!

It seems in this day and age, that Many Fraternity Members do not get Badges even though We have a Basic Badge that everyone gets figured into their Ritual Fees and is Reasonable.

Just Be Proud When You get Yours, They are Special!:)

So THAT is how all those badges end up on ebay!!!

It's the disgruntled ex girlfriend!!!


OOOOHHHH!

P.S. - the men's groups which do not allow the brother's badge to be given away have special sweetheart badges available for purchase through your jeweler.

Re: pinning
 

But the badge has so much significance. I'd rather have the badge. :)

Re: Re: pinning
 

That may be true, but the sweatshirt is a whole hell of a lot warmer! :)

I still tease my fiance that the only reason he pinned me is because he knew I wouldn't lose it as he would :p

I thought I'd resurrect this thread because I had a question: is it appropriate to do this if both people are alums or is pinning/lavliering/etc only done while in college? Also, does anyone know if Delta Tau Delta does this or is it just a chapter by chapter tradition?

is it appropriate to do this if both people are alums or is pinning/lavliering/etc only done while in college?


On my campus, we didn't "pin", we "pearl-dropped". The guy would give a single pearl necklace to his girlfriend, then the girl would have a candle-passing ceremony after chapter the next week. From what I've read, it has the same significance as a pinning, like a pre-engagement.

I asked my now-husband to do this even after we graduated because I still thought it was significant. I don't know if I would feel the same about letters, but he wasn't greek anyways. :p

Fleur -- that is a wonderful idea! My chapter does the same but only for engagements... which does not happen to actives as often as I think when the tradition was started and so actives rarely see the ceremony (and often don't know the words to the song).

Some places giving up your pin to a girl puts you back to pledge status, so you really have to want to give it to her. If my bf were in Greek, I wouldn't ask him to suffer for me, even if it is a really sweet gesture. We haven't had one in my house in over five years, although another chapter had one a year or two ago. At WSU, it seems to be extremely rare.

My chapter still does candlelights for lavaliers, pins, and then engagements. The candle is a white taper candle with a white carnation and the colors of both Chi-O and the man's fraternity in ribbons tied around the base of the taper (if he's not Greek, just our colors are used). For alumnae, our group of sisters makes sure that when an alum sister gets engaged, she gets the candle she would have used for her candlelight. It's a pretty fun engagement gift to give, and I know it's a treasured one to receive! :)

ps--In response to the earlier posts (even though they are two+ years old)--pinning is still common on our campus, even though not as much as in the '60s. But I know many of my friend's moms who still wear their husband's pins, and a few who had them soldered onto their own pins. When I was an active, being pinned was quite an accomplishment--something that had almost been "earned"!

I still have mine and my husband's soldered together and still wear them both.

I had to laugh at the OP's comment (he is now BigRedBeta). We lived across the street from the SigEps, and they had lots of pinnings back in the 1980's, too! (lots with us!)

Let me guess...you graduated in '04 and you're now dating a Delta Tau Delta alumnus?

In my opinion, lavaliering and pinning is for while you are in college. No rule against it later in life, to be sure, but I see it as more of an undergrad tradition.

I agree. While I absolutely would have loved to have a candle passing while I was in college, I would have felt very strange if my three-years-out-of-school ATO boyfriend (now husband) would have given me a lavaliere. And we definitely hadn't been dating long enough to talk engagement!

Now, I satisfy that urge by buying him cool antique ATO badges off eBay (of course, they're kept on my pin pillow next to my Kappa badges. ;) )

I don't know if they still do it, but when I was in school, the Delts definitely pinned their almost-fiancees. My roomie & I got pinned the same weekend, but to men in different fraternities. We had one of the few double candlelights!

On my campus, back in the day (the early 1980s), I recall hearing that the KAs (Kappa Alpha Order) did not ever give their pins to their girlfriends. Seems like I heard there was a jeweled pin that could be purchased by the member, but it was expensive.

Just wondering if this is true OR it was something the guys at Mercer made up!

We had at least two pinnings at my chapter.
And I recalled them so very well that I pinned my girlfriend way after school.
And I ransomed my pin back;) a bit later.
While it took awile, we are getting our ring this week from the goldsmith.

My then-boyfriend's fraternity supposedly did not allow the badge to be given away. That was always his excuse for not pinning me. Then, his friend, the president of the house, decided he loved his GF soooooo much that he was going to pin her anyway, and he did it prior one of our formals so she wore it to the dance. It was very sweet--she was from my house so we did a candlepass for her. Did my boyfriend get an earful after that. But he stuck to his guns. He would not give it up. I did receive an amazing engagement ring several years later. But I still don't have the pin to this day, and I bore this man 2 gorgeous kids, ok? Oh, and the other couple? Still happily together with 3 kids.

My husband gave me his pin at his Sweetheart's Formal. It was a big job keeping all the Gamma Phis who were there at that dance Sat night quiet until I could have a candle pass on Monday night at our house!
(it was a white taper candle lit with real FIRE surrounded by pink carnations.)

I did take a lot of stuff from his Sigma Chi brothers because I wore his pin at the same level as my own, over my heart. Would never have worn one pin above or below the other. And I never, ever, wore his letters.

I agree, I think of it as an undergrad thing as well, just curious was all.

Somewhere along the line, the story I heard was that a college man wouldn't be able to afford tuition, fraternity dues, AND an engagement ring - so pinnings became a popular symbol of commitment. Don't know how true that is, but it does make sense.

The sweet heart pins as one posted are in many cases no longer made by the one jewler, just regular size Badges.

Laviliering or wearing of the letters show that this is a members girl friend and is under the protection of said fraternity. This I assume goes back to the day of heraldy and protecting a lady from brigands and usurpers!:)

Pinning as it was known has I think long paqst by the way side. One has to be very serious about the lady as Badges cost a lot of more money today than they did then! Along with the fact that many Fraternity members today do not even buy Badges or wear letters. How said that is!

A rather down and dirty search found the following sites with all sorts of definitions, including pinning:
http://www.utsa.edu/sa/greeklife/htm/greekterms.htm
http://www.answers.com/topic/pinning
http://www.usd.edu/greek/sae/recruitment/terms.cfm
http://www.deltachi.org/resources/ot...g_Ceremony.pdf
http://people.howstuffworks.com/fraternity4.htm