Acting up in school? You might get put out on the street!
 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10075910/

I don't know what everyone else thinks, but I thought I'd post it here to see some thoughts...

Bad idea? Good idea? Something you would do?


enigma_AKA

Well, like the mom said in the article, I am not an expert and I think it is worth it to think about the psychological impact such action may have on the daughter, but to be honest, I think there are MANY other psychologically damaging things that are or had been going on in the child's life that were causing her attention span to shorten and her grades to slip. I think parents are running out of old fashioned options that they have at their disposal that can counteract the newer-aged and more recent developments of social and cultural influences that kids face today. I know my mom, for example, has totally gotten to a point where she has no clue what to do with my teenaged sister. The tactics she used for my older sister and me simply don't work with my younger sister.

So, the short answer is: I dunno. I am glad that this parent is trying something, ANYTHING to get through to her daughter and, who knows, maybe when she gets older, she will remember how much her parents loved her and wanted her to do well rather than look back on it and be ashamed or whatever the negative consequences the pros are saying she will suffer as a result of this technique.

IMO, it's TOUGH LOVE at its best. I now am in charge of Special Education students who act up or out. They hate being with me because:
1. it's known they are in special ed;
2. they lose ALL priviledges;
3. it's humiliating to them;

Some students don't really realize what is waiting for them once they are "of age". Yes, they do go through things. They have these labels/excuses (ADHD, ADD, BAD, etc) that protect them while in school, but once they exit or graduate, those labels do not mean ANYTHING! Many families use these "disabilities" as a crutch. Like I've discussed with my colleagues, I've never seen an article depict a criminal as:

John Doe, Learning Disabled/Behavior Disorder, Attention Defecit, 25, charged with breaking and entering.... :confused:

If this worked for the mother and the student has her act together...fine! It may not work for all students, but it's a start for them. Every parent has to find what works best for them.

I think it's genius. If she learned her lesson...which it appered she did...then I think it worked perfectly.

Well said!! I agree with pretty much all that's been said. I had kinda expected some to be like 'How could this mother do this?'

Tough love works...

enigma_AKA

There's a debate in many schools: expell a kid who disrupts class repeatedly, and put him/her on the street, or keep him/her in school and hope he improves.

I suspect in the typical 1,000 student HS, if a committee of admins and teachers picked the 20 worst kids, told these kids that one more incident and they're gone (and actually did it), a bunch of problems would be solved.

It's a creative way for her mom to get it through to her daughter that without education, she can end up on the street.

At least that mom isn't fingering pointing at the school or society for her daughter's behavior.

[B]While Henderson stood next to her daughter at the intersection, a passing motorist called police with a report of psychological abuse, and an Oklahoma City police officer took a report[B]

Was it necessary for the police to get involved?

Since it worked, I guess it's okay. Otherwise, I think "tough love" discipline should be used as last resort.

Typical @ 1000? :eek:
Pre-Katrina our enrollment was 1800+, now we are down to a comfortable size of 1300.

It's not that cut and dry. No, you would find yourself in court...

i have to go with the idea that most children don't just wake up one morning and become little @$$es - something in the raising prior to those ages contributed.

parents should ask themselves - how am i raising my 2 year old or 5 year old? cause eventually they will be a 15 year old and the problems will only get worse.

parents who let their 5 year olds get away with all kinds of $hit will have heinous 15 year olds.

- marissa

edited to add - but if the parent screwed up 10 years ago - hell yah, tough love is a better way to fix it than other options.

I totally believe in natural and logical consequences and I think this mother is definitely trying, but I think there are steps she could have taken before she got to this point that may have been even more productive. Take her to a soup kitchen and have her work to feed the homeless. Find a couple of patrons who regret dropping out of school and have them tell her like it is, etc.

I asked my 11 year old daughter what she thought of the article and she said that she thinks it is fair.

Is this considered tough love? It doesn't seem that tough. She stood on a corner wearing a sign for an hour. No biggie. I've seen a lot worse in NYC from both kids and parents.

I do think that the daughter might benefit from some type of counseling just to determine if the girl's behavior is normal adolescent snarkiness or if she has dyslexia or another type of learning disability.

What is DHS? I am assuming it's family or children's services. Am I correct?

Edited to fix a typo.

Department of Human Services, I think.

Thanks! I couldn't figure out the H in DHS.

I would agree with the above, but how would you explain one "bad" child in a family of several -- all raised by the same parents in the same way?

Putting total blame on the parents is just too simple. Nothing is that easy. There has to be a combination of factors somewhere along the line it would seem to me.

That's my hometown!

I have to say that I fully support what this mother is doing. Some may criticize, but here's something -- at least she's being a parent!

Too often, a parent with a hellion child will dismiss bad behavior and bad grades trying to assign blame to everyone except for their darling child. This works everywhere, and in every respect except for to teach the kid what the real world is like.

If this lesson gets through to this little girl, she may very well turn her life around. She's young and can afford to make mistakes. In a few years, however, when she's done with highschool, her life decisions will have very real consequences that mommy can no longer shield her from.

To the mother -- well done.

I saw that!

I was totally confused when I saw it though.

I have to say there is a huge problem locally with entitlement parenting. Parents think their kids should be able to do whatever they want, even in school. My parents are teachers, mother is a special ed. teacher, and not a day goes by where they aren't blamed by the parent for trying to get a kid to behave.

Kudos to the mother for putting her foot down.

Co-sign. I'm in complete support of the mother.

100% in support of the mother. Public humiliation has LONG been a means of punishment outside of this country (and within the US in earlier years).

When I read this, I automatically thought of a situation when I was a little girl. I stole a pack of Lifesavers (don't ask - I was like seven) and then I had to go back to the store, go up to the manager, and tell him what I had done. I was mortified...absolutely mortified. And you best believe I NEVER stole anything else and will never steal anything for the rest of my life.

We are FAR too easy on our children these days.

if we could get more parents in this country to step up and take some action instead of just trying to blame their kids actions on other people then the country would be in a lot better shape

Beat me to the punch. Theres about 800 kids in my K-8 elementary school. I think about 2500 in the high school. I'm in total support of the mother.

Ditto to what ktsnake said. Too often it is a case of "Not my child." It is always my fault the child is failing, my fault the child didn't complete the homework, and my fault the child is acting out (and yes, I was actually told that on the phone today). The children are not held responsible for any of their actions. I think they need the wake up call, which is why I'm a big fan of those prisoners that come in and scare the hell outta the kids.

they dont really do enough to scare them though...I remember having to sit through those things and most students that are stuck listening to them fall into one of two categories: either they dont care and arent paying any attention at all...or they find every thing funny and dont take it seriously...not to mention that these are the "good behavior" people that come around to schools, most of whom are actually trying to make something out of their lives once they get out...not exactly showing the type of person that the majority of prisoners are.

When I read the news story, I was curious about how it was possible that the mother couldn't force her daughter to do schoolwork, but she could force her to stand outside with a humiliating sign. Seemed a little odd....

Good point, and we really don't know what all else is going on here. Public humiliation may work, or it may not if she is already humiliated for other more personal reasons. Ultimately, the girl will do better or worse, depending upon ALL of her experiences. I don’t know why people were so upset about her having to hold up a sign, though. :rolleyes:

As for the blame game, I agree that parents shouldn't just up and blame teachers for the behavior of their children. Instead, they should take responsibility and find out what ALL is going on that they don't know about. Children don't just act out without reason. It very well may be something that they are doing, or not doing, and they are just too blind (or "too busy") to change their own behavior.

And about the prisoners, many of the most troubled children already have relatives and friends locked up. For them, their neighborhoods are as dangerous as prison itself. They are surrounded by criminals daily, so what is any communication with another one going to do... unless that prisoner has actually turned his life around? What is threatening them with jail going to do, when they full expect to end up there anyway? Or, they simply expect to end up dead before their 24th birthday? I am not a fan of those programs, because I view them as an attempt at a quick fix to a much more complicated problem.

I say Amen to that!! I am a teacher and I get into the same predictment too. We have a discipline program at school that each and every child and parent signs off on at the beginning of the year, and I have a discipline program specifically for my class that each and every student and parent are made aware of at the beginning of the year too. My discipline program is positive (gives things to them), but also negative (takes things away). If a child is not responding to my discipline program there is only so much I can do, so I make the parent aware of this and explain to them that maybe they should have a program at home too. When that happens I would say about a handful of parents deny the situation and basically tell me its all my fault.

I think that what this mother did was her last resort (from reading the article). I know that if this happened to me when I was younger I would definately responded in a positive way out of embaressment, but that does not mean I would take it with me the rest of my life, like some of the psycologists were saying in the article.

This same exact thing happend to my brother and I when I was younger. We stole something from one of those candy bins and my mom caught us and made us return the candy. My brother and I never stole anything again!!

It's easier to boss someone than to lead them.

It's easier to punish someone than to inspire them.

It's easier to break something down than to build it up.

-Rudey
--So it's not odd at all.