So. . .I made contact
 

Just an update. . .since my semester is winding down and I decided to add more stress to it *giggles*

I have contacted two sororities that I have contacts in, both of which are ones I am extremely interested in. The philanthropies are both things I am already involved in, and well. . .so far that's where I'm at.

Emails are sent and I'm talking to my friends about rec letters. I'll keep y'all posted.

~twocutetx

Woo Hoo, congrats!

So far, so good! Keep us posted!:)

twocutetx - best of luck! I noticed you were from North Texas, and I just think that's neat :) What a small world!

Whew!
 

Okay so. . sorority A and B have both responded to me on the national level. I have former members from both that are willing to sponsor me.

So I guess at this point I'm still in the holding phase. One is forwarding my information to a local alum group, the other I think has to determine if I am even eligible for their program.

I think things get confused because I'm still an undergrad. It seems that being married and coming back to school confuses people *giggles*

The thing is that I *know* I have a lot to offer. It's more a matter of me finding the group that is right for me. If I need to wait until my undergrad is complete, I will. With my major though, I have to go to grad school *laughs*

Re: Whew!
 

HUH? Former members??????

I think you mean ALUMNAE members which is VERY different from former. Former means they are no longer a member of the group and alumnae means they graduated.

gah!
 

LOL you're right :) I think I was trying to say former collegiate now alum members. . or something like that.

Too many wavelenghts right now heading into finals :)

~B.

Replying to myself to update
 

Okay so. . .

Ended up with a 4.0 this semester! *dances*

Question -- big issue I seem to be running into -- because I'm married, and once again an undergrad, I'm apparently not eligible for some of the sorors AI programs.

From what I am gleaning. . . if I were NOT in school I would be.

I'm so confused. Out of curiousity, can anyone share their experience with this situation? Or am I really just a freak?

*laughs*

Hope everyone had a great break and here is looking towards an excellent Spring semester!

*ponders*
 

So I suppose then it is really a matter of semantics.

My husband is a Pi Kappa Alpha alum -- he has been since we married :) He has never finished his undergrad degree (and at this point most likely won't -- it would cost him more money to go back -- last time he tried they were using a book he wrote as the text for the class. He was quite upset that they wouldn't let him OUT of the class LOL).

At this point though, I'm investigating. Some consider women alumnae when they marry whether they are undergrad or not. It's actually rather fascinating.

Either way, I will most likely graduate in May, 2007. I'm continuing my volunteer activities and group involvements both in school and out, and continuing to learn about various sorors.

This truly is a journey!

~twocutetx

Technically you are eligible for collegiate membership in a sorority. If you were going back for a second bachelor's degree you may be eligible for either collegiate membership or alumnae initiation (You already have an undergrad degree and are going back for another because of career changes, etc).

If there is a chapter of the sororities you are looking at on campus then I would actually recommend looking at rushing (COR or whatever it is called these days!)

Sarah

P.S. with regards to your husband, if you are initiated during college and leave school for whatever reason but are still in good standing with the GLO, you are an alumnus/alumna.

That may be true, but I really dont think undergrads will look upon a women in the same situation as this.

I dont think she will fit the mold of giggling Young Undergrads. But, who knows that a person who believes strong enough and works with a Chapter can be Initiated somehow!:cool:

Yes, since you are still in school you are not eligible for most AI programs.

hehe
 

That's where I've been confused!

*laughs*

I considered going through rush at UNT -- spoke to the Greek Life office. I was told that most likely I would not get a bid and that it would probably be a waste of my time.

I was also told directly by one sorority here (that I contacted about COB) that I was not eligible for their undergrad program because I'm married.

I'm thinking perhaps I'll copy the emails from the National office of one of the sorors that I have been chatting with here hehe. . actually I won't (wouldn't -- not very polite) -- but I was told directly that if I were NOT in school (ie not opted to return to finish) that I *would* be eligible for their AI program. It's the fact that I've gone back *boggles* I guess I don't really understand the premise. If I've been told incorrectly (and I will NOT name organizations here -- you are free to ask me privately though) I would love clarification.

*sighs*

Maybe I'll just wait until grad school. It's just frustrating at this point.

About my hubby -- he opted for alumnus (whichever form of the word -- I'm sorry that word gives me fits!) status when we married for a myriad of reasons. He actually was given the choice to remain an active -- and it was his decision. Once in awhile, he does express regret, but there is irony in his chapter having been suspended and now re-forming at our previous school.

*babbles*

~twocutetx

Re: hehe
 

Yep, we give our undergrads the option to go alum if they get married as well.

I can only speak for us, but yes because you are still an undergrad, you would not be eligible to AI. And yes, if you were not in school you would be eligible.

I'm not sure why they would automatically say you weren't eligible JUST because you were married, but I think getting a bid would be very slim.

SmartBlondeGPhB, You said is so true for the simple fact of time involved with said Organization.

While You are married, I am not sure if Your Hubby will want that time spent away from Him and home.

Depending on Your age, You may offer to be of help as a friend of said GLO and see what they say. If they agree, then work with them and let them know who You are and how you feel being with them, but dont over do it.

I know that sometimes LXA does have Honorary Initiation for special people who work with Our Chapters, but have to be approved by Our International.

But as has been stated, it depends on the Individual GLOs.:)

I am so sorry you are having such a negative experience. I would have thought as you thought, that if you are working on an undergraduate degree you would be eligible to rush regardless of marital status. I didn't realize that was a variable. And I would almost think that being married would speak positively of your ability to commit and work for the common good. But then again, as a person considering AI, there is a lot I do not know about the internal workings of sororities. If I were you, I would tend to take what the Greek Life office had to say with a grain of salt. Maybe if you did go through rush, by whatever name it is called, you would be able to convince others by your actions, which are the best testaments to character.

I hope you are not too discouraged. If being a member of a sorority is important to you in your life, do not give up too easily. If there is anything I have learned from reading the postings here it is that patience is a most valuable virtue.

~ Leandra ~

I know that there was one married woman that was initiated into a sorority here on campus, and I believe a junior, but she was definitely not the norm. She had a high GPA, did not have a job, was in school full time, and I believe her husband was in a fraternity, but I'm not sure. I know that there is one particular sorority that does not allow married women to join - I found it on their website when I was researching groups before I went through recruitment.

My advice - go through recruitment, but realize that you may be cut heavily. You are an upperclassman, above traditional age, and married. I rushed as a nontraditional student, and while I wasn't given a bid into an NPC group, I joined a local sorority that I love. I still have friends that i made during recruitment, and it was one of the best times I've had in college. Be laid back, have fun - don't stress while you're there. Enjoy the women, let them enjoy you, and if you get a bid, be pleanstly surprised.

Re: So. . .I made contact
 

I tried to PM you to offer some information but GC says you do not have your GC membership setup to receive private messages.

Please pm me with your email address.

Denise

Just updating :)
 

Howdy all!

Just thought I'd post an update since I didn't graduate this month . . .BY CHOICE! *laugh*

I'm technically done with all my undergraduate coursework -- but -- if I had opted to graduate, I would have finished with a 3.44. .06 off of cum laude. Too darn close. So, I'm retaking two classes from way back when (when I was 18 and KNEW everything!) -- pulling one A (to replace a D) brings me to a 3.495 -- pulling two A's (or an A & B) puts me over the top.

So, August -- that's when I'm DONE!

Got accepted into two graduate programs -- and yes, I'm going to grad school. Initially the program is an MS -- but I will be following a combined MS/PhD path.

And with all that I still want to pursue AI :) I have met so many amazing sorority women (both UG and alum) from so many houses -- it's been a lot of fun asking the UG members to tell me about their philanthropies and their sororities. I've learned a lot about the ones on my campus, and a number of these women have encouraged me to continue to pursue AI.

This last semester was as hard or harder than any of my graduate semesters will be (18 hours + honors clinic clients + practicum class diff from grad students so always notified of things late, etc. etc. etc.) and I still had time for life, and pulled a 4.0.

So what's everyone else up to? Status on any other PNAMs?

~B.

UPDATING :)
 

Howdy ya'll!

Guess what? I graduated last Saturday, Aug 11!! So I'm officially done with my undergrad *dances*

~B.

YAY! Congratulations to you!

Congratulations on your graduation! That must feel good!


.....Kelly :)

Updating :) I found my home!
 

Just thought I'd update y'all since you've all been here through my journey . . .

I got home late last night from a short trip because . . .

*happy dances*

I was initiated this weekend -- Delta Phi Epsilon is my home!

I'm still in this happy/awe/did this really happen? state -- but yes ladies, it can and does happen. Stick with it and you can find your home. Patience is definitely a virtue!

Congratulations on finding your home!!!!

I just read your whole story for the first time. Congrats!

Congrats on your initiation to DPhiE!

.....Kelly :)

Congrats on becoming a DPhiE!

Congratulations on finding a home! Awesome feeling, isn't it?! :-)

congrats to you and DPhiE!
ironically i read your thread yesterday before you posed an update and i was wondering if you found your home [since it was dated 2007]!

Congratulations, I'm glad to see that you were able to finally make it happen! Sounds like DPhiE has a great new sister!

Congrats to you! :)

Thanks everyone for your words and support! It really is SO exciting and yes, it feels GREAT! Making the decision to pursue AI is a tough one, and the journey itself is unique to each person who goes down this path. So far the experience has been amazing and I only see it getting even MORE amazing!!!

And while I know I don't *have* to say this - I'm going to just so it is said -- I DID NOT actively pursue two groups - only one! It was suggested up front that I contact the nationals of groups I was interested in as part of the process and investigation of AI - to see what policies existed and if they had a process for AI, as well as verifying their philanthropies, chapters, numbers, etc. (basically confirming that the website info was updated/accurate). So initially, I contacted two - both of which are great houses - but ultimately neither were the ones I chose to pursue and as such I didn't apply to either of these. Making contact was about information gathering - not applying. Not so different than the first part of rush when the girls visit all the houses to learn about them and figure out where they are comfortable. My thought was that while I had friends who were willing and wanting to sponsor me in both of those groups (and these ladies were also the ones encouraging me along the way!) I needed a bigger picture to look at than only their individual experiences.

For none of those who have gone the AI route have I ever met anyone who applied to more than one group. AI is NOT about applying to every sorority until one takes you - if anything I think it is a more in depth process of looking at the national offices, reputations, educational foundations, etc. etc. through adult eyes. I didn't "apply" until I knew where I wanted to be -- DPhiE!

The thing in all of this -- learning about each sorority was such a valuable experience. I have met so many intelligent and wonderful ladies along the way - and in a lot of ways this was rather like an extended rush but with an entire organization instead of one chapter. The strangest thing now is explaining to others in my graduate program what exactly AI is and why I wanted to be a part of a sorority post-undergrad.

I hope all this made sense - and I hope that each of you looking to find your home after undergrad will continue to look and learn. Joining a sorority is for life - some of us just happen to find our place a little later than others :)

~Beth

twocutetx - I'm glad you found your home, however, many here believe that Alumnae Initiation is not just something people who either didn't rush or have a successful rush in college do. It's an honor given to women and men who the groups feel are outstanding examples of what their ideals are.

Which means it's not something that any Jane or Mary should "reach out" for... it's something that is given to them.

There was a time here not long ago where random people would come on here and post "Oh, sorry you didn't have a successful rush, there's always AI!"

When there ISN'T always AI.

AI is not just something you wake up one morning and decide to do.

Or "keep on reading because you too can be an AI!!!" because that isn't the case.

It's been said that GC has created a market for AI. All of a sudden random people doing internet searches who didn't fulfill their college dream of joining a sorority find it and are bombarding HQ's with calls about AI. Not only are they calling 1 GLO, they are calling 2 or more trying to find out which ones will take them and that really isn't the spirit of the program.

/soapbox

Let's all remember that every NPC views AI differently. Apparently, DPhiE felt that the OP was a good fit for them. Questioning their decision to accept her as an AI is questioning the recruitment practices of this organization. No matter what anyone thinks about AI, it doesn't sound like the OP was sorority shopping, so no need to "educate" her about the controversy after the fact. To any one looking to jump into AI, check out the first post...this didn't happen overnight.

But AI & Recruitment are two different things! Sigh. :rolleyes:

Yes, but both require membership selection . I believe that is what AOIIAngel was getting at - and of course we don't discuss the membership practices of our own, or other , NPC groups.

Recruiting members includes AI members for some organizations, including AOII. If ZTA doesn't believe in that, that is your organizations business. To each her own. Thanks, SWTXBelle, you are correct in your interpretation of my last post.

Until every alumnae chapter is required to hold recruitment events and acquire members in that manner, I believe that most people are not going to say AI selection = recruitment.

AOII Angel - I do understand where you're coming from and your interpretation of your org's practices, but also understand why your putting it the way you did got some danders up.