You're no hotshot. She FAKED IT!
 

Ladies, ladies ladies. Lets give BobbyTheDon a big round of applause!


yes yes. here I am. Rock me like a hurricane.

Enlighten us with your stories ladies.


Talk shit on the asshole who thought he was hot shit, but in reality was a 2 hump chump or had a 3 in penis.


James wants to know and is waiting for your responses so he can write novels and novels!

c'mon you bunch of prudes!

you know you've got your stories! I know all of you girls saw the title of this thread and laughed, then saw what I read and said " oh gosh...that's just bobby being bobby...oh my should I posT? Oh garsh I don't want to look like a SLUT!"


Be like NIKE and JUST DO IT!

Notice that your mom isn't on here complaining.

-Rudey
--That's because I make it happen for her.

:(


that not nice.

Bobby, I'm not quite sure what kind of stories you're lookin for here. :p

Michael Kaplan, formerly of Honolulu, HI and Las Vegas, NV ... currently living in Culver City, CA has a stump for a penis. He attended UCLA from 1997-2001. It's been years since I last saw him, but because I'm an evil person I'll take every opportunity to publicly humiliate the guy.

Apparently he had some surgery down there as a baby. Envision images of VIENNA SAUSAGE. Better yet, a AAA battery. Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Kaplan's weenus. I swear his long and pointy nose is bigger than what's down there. He's had nice fast cars, but it was obvious he had to make up for things he lacked. BIGGEST. ASSHOLE. EVER.

Spread the word. And if you truly want a laugh, feel free to visit his MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/abruinforlife

Enjoy!

And when you wear snug fit condoms and it's STILL too big, he needs to seek medical help.

ho shit, i remember when this all went down..

omg sandy, i'm so glad i'm your friend! ahhhhhhhhhhh!

i don't think i can top that - so all i can say to that is length doesn't matter on it's own. i don't care if it's 10 inches, if its reminding me of a pencil, not cool.

- marissa

I know this one certain dude in this one certain fraternity who thinks he's a human jackhammer, apparently, because his, er, technique needs some serious help. Ladies, I know you'll agree with me on this--hard and extremely fast in the same direction for 10 minutes is not exciting in the least, am I wrong?

Oh, my God, that is so wrong!

Yet funny as hell, strangely enough....:p

You are some evil girls :D.

HAHAHA.

This thread is hilarious already.

Sandy, you do realize that I must now resist the temptation to leave horrible comments on his myspace.

Sandy, thank you for making me bust out laughing in my cubicle. Now everyone's asking "what's so funny?!?!" Ummmm, where do I even begin explaining? :D

Part of me wants to start up a phony MySpace account and message all his bleached blonde Friends on his page to let them know about his weenus.

ETA: He still has a picture of his stump uploaded online. Oh, what a great memory I have. I should send it to them too.

He may have made me feel like shit for one night, but he has to live a lifetime with that AAA battery and Imma make sure he don't forget that.

Yyeeahh! There you go!

More stories dammit! MORE! C'mon Greeklawgirl, I know you've got some!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Instigator! Maybe I have some and maybe I don't. Either way, I'm not sharing. ;)

I wish I could be more help, but...

I was dating KK (just prior to the former mr. honeychile) for almost a month, and while we had made out, there hadn't been much else. Should have been Hint Number One.

So, we were slow dancing, and he was telling me how I was getting him all excited, and just to prove it, he put my hand in the appropriate place (over the clothing, this was in public!).

I felt... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I started really feeling around, and still... nothing. I looked down, and he said something to the effect of "liking what you see?" while I still saw... nothing.

Not even the AAA battery.

He has since married, and supposedly fathered a child, but between the size of his wife (think Shamu) and the size of his equipment (zip-nada-zilch), I sincerely doubt the paternity of that kid - unless IVF was involved.

I told the former mr. honeychile, as they were friends. His remark was right from Slap Shot, "That poor bastard!" I think he meant KK, not Shamu.

I was dating a guy who thought that he was the shit. He had his modeling pictures all over his bedroom. He was dumb as rocks but really hot which is the only reason why I was dating him.

One night, we were hooking up and he took off his clothes. I got one look at his 4.5-incher and almost busted out laughing. I quickly blurted out, "I've gotta get up early tomorrow." I started gathering all my belongings when he said, "But...I wanted you to play with me a bit..." Play with what?!

I ran out of there so fast and made sure to call all my friends during my drive home so that we could laugh about it.

Re: bigger not better
 

ok so did you fake it with him or something? too much preface, not enough real time.

keep dancin!

oh shit dude. thats not funny. i think that sux actually. well i mean i find it funny that you had to fake it with him but i think it sux that he hurt you. maybe you should have let him know? i always ask if it hurts but i mean seriously when you have a penis the size of a mini hot dog like me i think its more of a joke u know? har har har jk. ok maybe not. eh maybe i am. BLAHHHHHHHHH! Just ask Rudeys mom.

One of my boyfriend's in college redefined the 'minute man' stereotype. Sex with him was so bad and fast that I used to time it. There was nothing that I could do to slow the process down, despite my many efforts - his longest attempt was, I believe 8 minutes. It's because of him that I'm adamently opposed to faking it.

Oh yeah this thread's gonna become a big fat TMI pretty soon.

Dunno if I can take another fat chick's anal sex story.

The big white guy with the small black pecker....

And no, I didn't hook up with the guy, uhhhhhh!

He got drunk at this party, and thought it would be cool to suddenly whip it out.

I know some guys members can be a little darker than the rest of their bodies, but I think this guy must have been half black or something. :eek:

I had to once ask a guy if it was in and his response.....yea and I am done was it good for you.....

I just got up and went to the bathroom.....how was I suppose to answer that question.

The worse when you have drunk sex and you think it was great and can't wait for the next time....the time you are sober and it sucks.....

i liked shelly j.


That said, i think we need to see the stump link.

huh? What are you talking about Punky Brewster.


And what did you do with AphiDancer03's Post? did you eat them again?

Aaaaaah! *points to Jacquelyn* Aaaaaah! You named "she who shall not be named"!!!! I'm getting yucky visuals in my head again!

I'd so post the link to stumpy, but seriously -- I think John would banish me on the spot for that. It's a funny pic, though. It was taken with his webcam, and it was sticking out of that little hole in his boxers, but you could barely tell it was there because all you could see was the plaid material, and then there was an eensy weensy part of flesh. And to think, he was hard when he snapped that photo.

He'd never take nude photos of himself because his size was soooooo not proportionate to the weenus. He's 6'3" and a former water polo player...do me a favor. Take your left hand and shape it into a 'c'. BAM! Michael Kaplan's weenus height -- top to bottom.

To think, he dumped me because a) I wasn't Jewish and b) I outdrank him and he couldn't keep up with me. I can laugh about it, but he's the one who has permanent damage for the rest of his life. Awwwww yeah.

His LiveJournal, though he hasn't updated in a long time. You can still see the kind of jerk he really is. Anyone who has the word "stud" in his username (same with sexy and the like) probably isn't one.

This is soooooo weird. I was looking at that guy's myspace and all the comments from girls... and one of them is a girl I was "friends" with in high school. It really is a small world............
I wonder if she knows he has a small penis?

This thread disgusts me.

Aphidancer03? wha?



OTW - now I have to read his LJ. Oh, it's like a car accident.

1.5 minutes.

Need I say more? :(

Ouuuuuuchie. I am so sorry.

Girls, let us pray for texas*princess. NOW.

At least say he was able to restart the ride.

Good for him.

-Rudey

I wish I could say that...

i cant believe you dogs have the audacity to speak ill upon those brave, young souls who went where no other man wanted to go.

"PLEASE pay attention to me. Someone? Anyone?"

Hey! He's done . . what do you want lol? You should be proud of yourself, the more you turn him on the less long he lasts . . you obviously made him hot.

Have some sympathy, as a girl you can last forever, there is no challenge, as a boy we are limited by biology.

Just have him go down on you first. ;)