No Senior Prom Orgy in Long Island
 

I read this article this weekend.


UNIONDALE, New York (AP) -- Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school:

Students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons.

Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo.

Fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."

Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000-word letter to parents this fall.

"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake -- in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."

"Each year it gets worse -- becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he said.

"We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. [Kellenberg] is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy."


Read the rest HERE

Brother Hoagland is my hero.

And this idiot parent obviously still doesn't get it.

Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school.

"This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do."

It's not about the drinking, it's about the money. Does anyone else think his kid probably had a "My Super Sweet 16" type party?

I was glad to see that this principal is standing up to buck the tradition.

Some folks go all out for proms on the scale that others go out for their wedding.

Some people do go overboard, but what about the ones that don't?

My senior prom was great, and I spent maybe $250 on everything. No limo, no $30 a plate dinner, no suite for the afterparty, and definately no liquor.

It kinda seems like he's penalizing everyone for the actions of some.

"Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April."We go to all the parks with our friends," Laine said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack.We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything."

It's not like these kids are hurting for anything. There was high school in the northern suburbs outside of Chicago that cancelled the homecoming dance one year because of this very problem. The kids would show up for 10 minutes at the dance and take off for the after parties.

Then the parents of the ones who don't need to get together and pressure the parents of the kids who are doing this ridiculous crap to stop. Problem is, I'm betting they're in the minority.

Yes

Call off the limo; prom's canceled
`Booze cruises' and wretched excess doom rite of passage at one fed-up high school

By Julia C. Mead
New York Times News Service
Published October 17, 2005

UNIONDALE, N.Y. -- October is the time for homecoming and Halloween parties, but the 489 seniors at Kellenberg Memorial High School already are focused on their prom--the one they are not going to have.

Fed up with the revealing evening gowns, flashy tuxedos, stretch limos, alcohol, drugs, sex and rowdy house parties that are an increasingly common part of the dinner-dance scene across Long Island, Kellenberg administrators canceled the prom this year as a way to end its excesses.

"We watched a pattern develop," said Brother Kenneth Hoagland, the principal of Kellenberg, a Roman Catholic school. "Twenty years ago, seniors went to the beach after the prom and then to someone's house for breakfast. From that, it's turned into a weekend-long orgy that every year has become incrementally more excessive."

The school sent parents a letter in March, before the last prom, outlining objections.

Calling prom "an exaggerated rite of passage that verges on decadence," the letter signed by 11 administrators said spending up to $1,000 on formal wear, limos and after-parties was wasteful. It contended a "booze cruise" and the rented party houses were opportunities for illegal drinking and sex. And it said the school, fearing legal liability, could no longer be responsible for what might happen.

No one listens

The warnings fell on deaf ears, Hoagland said.

Last spring's prom was replete with all the extravagances of previous years, so he and the school president, Rev. Philip Eichner, announced last month that they had no choice but to cancel the 2006 prom. The prom, they wrote, "is so much beyond our control that it is mere tokenism to put our name on it."

Officials from the 10 other Catholic schools in Long Island's Nassau and Suffolk Counties said they, too, worried about the bacchanalia and had become more vigilant about warning parents that they risk arrest by permitting underage drinking. But no other school has canceled the prom.

Sister Jeanne Marie Ross, principal of Sacred Heart Academy, an all-girls school in Hempstead, N.Y., said that last year she began talking to parents every chance she got, persuading one set of parents to chaperon their child's postprom celebration at a Hamptons summer house.

"If these parents didn't rent the houses, the kids couldn't go there," Ross said.

Kevin McBride, principal of St. Mary's High School in Manhasset, N.Y., said he continued to warn parents of the potential dangers but would not cancel the prom without at least trying to get parents' attention one more time.

"All schools are doing soul-searching concerning the proms," he said. "There's considerable pressure on the kids because the prom looms large in their imagination, and parents want leverage over their own kids, so we hope a letter from the school will help them say "no" to all the excess."

Kellenberg officials said the time had come for more drastic measures. They called the problem a Long Island-wide phenomenon, involving not just Catholic but also public schools, worsened by some parents' willingness to bankroll the extravaganza.

"We felt that what the prom had become went against the moral and spiritual lessons we were trying to teach their children," Hoagland said.

He said he worried most about parents who play host to cocktail parties before prom and keg parties afterward, or pay thousands of dollars to rent a house in the Hamptons where unchaperoned teens hold raucous parties.

Those notorious prom houses so angered neighbors and local officials that the Southampton Town Police Department sent a letter to every high school on Long Island last year, warning that it was shutting down parties and arresting anyone who had broken a law.

Seniors offer alternative

Three Kellenberg seniors are hoping they can save at least a vestige of the celebration. They banded together to lobby for an alternative event that is more staid and better chaperoned. School officials said they were open to ideas.

The three seniors--Stephanie Lupo, 17, a member of the National Honor Society and the school chorus; Alessandro DeBellegarde, 17, one of last year's New York state martial arts champions, and Melissa Boo, 16, a Girl Scout who plays three musical instruments--said they felt strongly that their classmates should share a celebration.

Their tentative idea is for a carnival-like field day and barbecue, followed by a semiformal dinner-dance in the school on the night before graduation.

As Kellenberg's graduation day begins with an early mass, students may be less prone to all-night revelry, they said. Restricting the event to Kellenberg students may discourage the hormonally charged atmosphere, they added.

"It's not a date event," Boo said.

DeBellegarde said their approach might not stop all excessive behavior.

But, Boo said, "we're thinking if we don't have a fancy, limo-escorted, blown-out occasion, then it won't get out of hand."

Hoagland said administrators still believed that the annual senior trip, a weekend junket to Disney World in Florida, was enough of a seniors-only farewell celebration, but were willing to consider the idea.

"We don't want to encourage them to spend excessively, and they know they can't just mimic a prom," he said."

That ignorant parent quoted in the first story would most likely be the first in line to sue if anything happened to their child.

Someone is critical of spending? I'm Shocked!!!!
 

In our times of Bling-Bling and Prosperity preaching, To find someone of faith that is actually critical of oppulance is refreshing and gives me some hope that there are people in this country who are not bowing down to the alter of indulgence.

I support the school 100%

Blackwatch!!!!!!

Wow...I'm speechless. :eek: I cannot even imagine a prom like that! My dress was bought on sale for $119 and I didn't spend much on everything else...I can't believe these kids' parents actually rent out houses for them to party at. Good grief.

That's probably a safe bet.
I am glad that the principal is taking a stand on this issue.

Re: Someone is critical of spending? I'm Shocked!!!!
 

You took the words right outta my mouth :eek:

In my opinion, I don't think that the prom should be cancelled. I think the problem is the events that goes on after the prom. I don't think that everyone should be penalized for post-prom activities. The behavior that these students are contemplating to happen on this night are probably the ones that party, booze, have sex, use drugs, and do other things already. What about those who don't. The senior prom is a big thing. I knew it was when I was in school. I know that I was not one that partied, because I was not allowed to, and I did have a curfew after the prom.

These are post-prom activities....not the prom. Basically, prom or no prom...they are still going to do what they want to do regardless.

My boyfriend's little sister is a Junior at Kellenberg. His other sister is an alumna of Kellenberg. They are definately not affluent spoiled rich kids. His parents work very hard to pay the tuition at Kellenberg. If you met his sister, you would realize that she is not of the group that is mentioned who make the prom out to be a negative experience. My thoughts and the family thoughts are that it isn't fair that she doesn't get to experience her Senior prom due to the actions of a FEW. It is a total misconception that the students at this school are all spoiled, sex-crazed rich white kids. Many of the kids who go to Kellenberg are of other racial backgrounds and their parents drive them from rough neighborhoods of Queens into Long Island to be able to have the opportunity for a more quality education. And not all of Long Island is rich, white and affluent. THAT is a total misconception and ignorant statement. While there are some good points mentioned by the Principle, and I personally do not agree with how some parents and their children treat this occassion, once again, the media does a great job of only showing one side of the story. I actually read the letter that was set home to the parents and parts of it were way over the top in my opinion. This is also a CATHOLIC highschool as well just to remind you all ;). You all should know the problems that run rampant when church gets involved......

That may be true... but now hopefully they might know that there are consquences to acting like spoiled little rich kids (if they are or not) - as well now a school event won't be used as an excuse for their behavior, a school that has some moral and ethical values to protect and uphold.

People spend major bucks for their proms in Manhattan. Thousands of dollars for clothes, tickets, stretch Hummer limos, hotel rooms, and weekend trips. Parents even give their children champagne which surprised me when I first heard about it. It's quite indulgent and contrary to the mission of Catholic schools.

I went to a private school. My prom consisted of me wearing a Gunne Sax dress, taking a limo to the Swan Club, and then going to the Copacabana. We couldn't get into Tunnel or Limelight. We ended the night by having shakes at a diner.

Umm, then you shouldn't send your kids to a Catholic school.

I can not belive this high school is doing this. It is none of the school's business how much a person spends on prom. If I want to buy an expensive dress and ride in a huge limo that is my business. By the way I didn't go to my prom, but that was my decision. Yes sometimes I look back and wish I had gone and this is how the students at this school will feel. They will miss out on those memories. I also think it is great that the father is supporting his son. I watched when they were on this morning. I hope that they get their prom back somehow.

A school doesn't have to sponsor or support an event that is contrary to its mission. The school is putting the parents in charge.

"We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. [Kellenberg] is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy."

ETA: Agreeing with 33girl's comment. It is a Catholic school. If you don't agree with the mission of Catholic school don't send your children to one.

I don't think this is going to stop a parent or group of parents from organizing a private party for the kids at, say, their country club...

Absolutely. It worked for those kids in "Footloose" and they didn't have a country club either.

This was pretty interesting to read, mainly because I am serving as the Jr. class advisor and am responsible for working out the prom details.

We don't really have the problem of extravagant spending in this community where I teach. Many of these kids work, and save up for prom. What did concern me was the idea of parents renting hotel rooms for their kids--and having the unchaperoned parties where everything goes. I've seen too many January/February babies come into the world as a result of too much fun on prom night.

A former school that I worked at was a private school, and for years, the school did not sponsor the prom because the church did not approve of dancing. However, they allowed the parents to sponsor a prom, and have the parents do the planning with the jr. class and the stipulation that school rules ( no inappropriate dresses, no alcohol) still applied.

Our prom budget will be about $8000--that will include room rental, decorations, prom memorabilia, dj expense, and the security as well as munchies there.

Looking back on my senior prom, I would say that enough people participate in the "financial decadence" to justify penalizing everyone.

It's really simple. Parents will now have the responsibility of sponsoring the prom, if it is that important. They have, overwhelmingly, shown that they have the financial means to do so.

Re: Someone is critical of spending? I'm Shocked!!!!
 

Ditto!!!!!!!

I was ROLLIN' while watching this on The Colbert Report. Granted, parents and teens can become quite ostentatious when it comes to prom but that is their business. You cannot prevent people from flaunting their affluence. I don't personally feel it's his place to buck against the tradition of prom. It is the choice of the PARENT to say "Heck No! I'm not paying XXX for that!" Even with his cancellation of prom, you still have parents who are willing to spend any amount of money to ensure that these kids have somewhere to be 'finacially decadent'. I guess I don't understand it because I went to an affluent high school where money and prestige was flaunted daily, not just at prom.

Well yeah... but now at least the school won't be directly associated with the extragence and excess - only indirectly

It is his place. This is a religious school, not public school. This school has a certain set of morals that in its objectives for the students. The parents know this, because they spend money to send them there. The decadence associated with prom at this school goes against the morals that the school is trying to instill in the students. The school is very much within its right to halt prom for the reasons stated.

Another Prom Cancelled
 

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/lo...ostemailedlink

ARTICLE EXCERPT:

After weeks of discussing the possibility of no longer sponsoring a junior and senior prom, Chaminade High School in Mineola has decided to forego the event.

The all-boys school, with a student body of 1600, is run in the Marianist Catholic tradition, the same order that serves Kellenberg Memorial High School in Uniondale, who also cancelled their prom this year.

"The question comes down to the toxic culture of the prom that just can't be reformed," said Father James Williams, President of Chaminade High School. "It's all the over-the-topness that takes place -- who has the biggest limo, who has the most elaborate weekend planned -- that the prom is no longer the focus." "Plus, all the post-prom events usually include drinking and other illegal activities."

Schools that canceled prom offer compromise
 

Wednesday, April 5, 2006; Posted: 10:28 a.m. EDT (14:28 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- Two Long Island high schools that canceled their senior proms after years of burgeoning excess that included limos and weekend house rentals in the Hamptons announced a cut-rate compromise Tuesday that will involve bus rides and other more modest arrangements.

Instead of hiring chauffeurs, students will take buses to a Manhattan pier for a dinner cruise. Instead of tuxedos and fancy ball gowns, the dress code will be jackets and ties for boys and dresses for girls.

The cost is expected to be about $100 per student -- a fraction of the cost of the wild parties of the past.

Read the rest here

Try going to a Texas high school. My dress was $75, and that was ONLY because I had shoes and a handbag at home, AND I was working and had the money to buy it, AND it was marked down at a fancy boutique (thank goodness for being tall and very thin), AND because of its classic cut and convervative color (silver), I can still wear it (and the shoes and the dress!) to a fancy dinner. Because I was in ROTC and had to buy military ball dresses every year, there was no way I was spending more than $100 on a stupid prom dress. I would walk into a store and head straight for the clearance rack, and if it hadn't been marked down at least twice, I couldn't afford it. In Texas, spending $600 on a prom dress isn't uncommon. Screw that - I spent $350 on my CAR. I knew a chick who spent five grand on her prom. For what, I have no idea. I didn't spend that much on my college education. Prom is a waste. A W-A-S-T-E. A waste AND a bore. I was atmine for 45 minutes, long enough to do the senior walk. (That, and my BF at the time was 26 and I didn't have the heart to make him stay much longer.)