How NOT to act
 

So yes this is a common sense thread but the PR chair and I are putting on a program about how to act at socials/mixers for our newly initiated sisters. We want to make it somewhat humorous but yet informative. Please we will take any suggestions on either how TO act or how NOT to act at socials/mixers.

Thanks!

Re: How NOT to act
 

You mean as in

"only accept beverages handed to you by anyone you know AND trust" and "keep your drink in your hand at all times" in today's world of rohypnol (sp)?

Do a skit! :)

Re: Re: How NOT to act
 

Yeah that's kind of where I'm going but I also mean like "don't hook up on the busride" and "don't drink underage" and "don't puke", etc.

The sister is responsible for anyone she brings to a social; if they get drunk, unruly, offensive then the sister and offending party will be asked to leave. i.e Don't bring a date to Formal that will get trashed and make fun of your patron, loudly, during dinner.

*Do not hook up with 2 frat boys at once. They will NOT be discreet about it, and yes, you will be embarassed about it, as will your sisters at a later date.
*Try not to get drunk and hook up with frat boys in general. Most of them have girlfriends in other sororities and it always creates unwanted drama and chaos and is the root of most of the problems with other GLO's on campus.
*Just because you become brave and think it is appropriate to kick someone's ass from that other sorority/fraternity that you hate because you are intoxicated, does not mean this is the wisest idea. Don't get pissed off at your sisters when they tell you this and try to stop you.

have you considered a section on how not to dress? we had a "fashion show" during bid week each year to help show new members (and sometimes remind older members) what to wear and what not to wear to exchanges, fraternity parties, etc...

That's a good one. Classy not Trashy is always a positive ;).

When dancing, both feet must be kept on the floor.

Some simple things that, at least from this guy's view, are appreciated in terms of risk management, courtesy to the hosts, etc. (some of these might vary based on your campus, but this is taking the most conservative view and will keep anyone from getting in trouble). These are all things that pissed the hell out of me when I had a party house and freshmen girls would come over.

*Do NOT go outside! Especially if you are underage, drunk or loud. I don't care how long the line for the bathroom is, or how hot/loud it is (maybe if youre hot, you could take off your coat, and if you really can't use your cell inside, ask me if you can go into another room). I have neighbors who don't appreciate 20 people running around outside. People outside a party house is the easiest thing to fix to avoid getting a party busted.

*Do not pee outside...that's about the worse thing ever, and the surest thing that will get neighbors to call the cops.

*Be frugal with the toilet paper...I NEVER went through as much toilet paper in one year as I did last year, I was constantly out. Also, the tri-delts twice flooded my bathroom b/c they were using so much.

*If something happens that is far beyond your ability to take care of on your own (eg. the toilet floods) GET THE HOUSE OWNER ASAP or tell one of the fraternity members. If the girls who flooded my bathroom would have just told someone about 10 minutes earlier when they first did it, then it would have made everyone's life easier.

*Do not go into rooms that have the door closed, without getting permission. There is probably a damn good reason why that door is shut...especially if it has been shut all night.

*If you absolutely must smoke, make sure to find someplace appropriate. Many leases have no smoking clauses, but the garage is usually a safe bet.

*If some older guys starts yelling at you to stop doing whatever it is you are doing...don't get pissed off b/c he's ruining your fun, more than likely it's his house and he's doing you the favor by hosting your little underage drinkfest, and whatever youre doing is dangerous and/or stupid.

*Don't go into the cabinets or the refridgerator, and keep your fucking hands off my food, and my good bottles of alcohol. If there is no mixer left, don't assume that the half open carton of OJ is for you.

*If the guys ask you to pitch in with the cost of alcohol, don't get pissed off that you have pay $2-5 for one night of binge drinking (never mind the fact that you're drinking for free most nights)...in less than three years youre going to be paying 4x that amount to go to the bars and that will be a cheap night for you.

*Remember, you are representing your sorority at all times. Any sort of things you do will characterize the rest of your house. After the two flooding incidents, Tri-delt was no longer welcome at my house...

*Also, it is probably 100% likely that any older fraternity members know girls in your house, and if you do something dumb, or steal my stuff, or break something, or just generally cause problems, it will get back to your house/chapter.

*Finally, if the cops do come: First, shut up if someone tells you to be quiet - please hang up your phone too. Second, put down your beer or cup (typical MIP probable cause). Third, if the cops bust the party, leave as they tell you to, don't try to exit out the back door/hide/go through a window, do not say a word, and for god's sake don't talk about how drunk you are. When outside, call sober sis, or let some other sober person take you home. Do not drive home (saw that DUI happen...). Also, don't talk about going to another party, b/c the cops may follow you there, and then you've busted up another party.


EDITED TO ADD:

Along with the not going outside, do not take cups or cans or bottles out with you. Never know when a cop may pass by and see you with it. Also, NEVER, NEVER take drinks into the sober drivers car.

Do you have a Sober Sister program? This might be something worth discussing, so every sister understands exactly what to do in case someone needs help or if there is an emergency. The Sober Sister program (preferably about 2 or 3 sisters at each party) has worked very well for my chapter, and I would recommend instituting such a program if you don't have one already. :)

I like the idea of a skit, we always do one during our new member program when describing to the new members what to wear with their pin or to meetins or out to parties. They enjoy it and the sisters who have the "wrong" attire really love to come up with the craziest or sluttiest outfits they can find.

So maybe just have a person having a good time vs a person who you know you would all laugh at if you saw her at a party.
I don't know if anyone here watches family guy at all but the image of wrong i have is of during the stewie movie. Lois is drunk and falls forward and starts wiggling her a$$ in the air yelling, "Hey Peter!! GET ON!!" it's hilarous and is definitely an example of wrong behavior :)

In a show of poor fashion choices, there's a LOT of normally non-slutty attire that becomes nasty looking after a few drinks. I'm thinking about the wrap-around top or dress, the one sleeved formal, the low cut jeans that look fine - until you sit down, t-shirts that don't feel tight until they "accidentally" get wet, etc. It would be good to show how to avoid or fix these disasters.

And I'm with Pam - drinks in cups should be served in cups slightly larger than Dixie Cups! You should always be able to just leave it or lose it quickly.

BetaRulz gives some REALLY good ideas about what to do if the police arrive, and if there's an emergency (plumbing or otherwise) at a party. One thing I would add is that if a door is closed, and you hear a woman screaming & crying, get a guy to go in with you - do NOT try to stop violent behavior on your own!

Oh, and unless you're being paid to do so, never, ever dance on the furniture! That goes for your own house/suite/whatever, too!

Oh, gosh, yes! Apparently there are quite a few people who don't think to wear clothes that are "drunk proof" when they go out--i.e. we should always make sure that our shirt isn't cut low enough that our bra (or worse) might be on display if we happen to bend over, that our strappy tank tops will stay where they belong if we are moving around, stuff like that. Even though an outfit might look cute standing still, that's no guarantee you won't be putting on a show when you've had a few and aren't being as careful. Like, I have a miniskirt that is absolutely adorable, but I don't wear it very often because it tends to sort of ride up as I walk...

How on earth did I miss this?! And why oh why does it even have to be discussed?!?!?!?!?


AchtungBaby80, thanks! I feel that, if I know what color and/or type of panties or bra you have on, you're committing a fashion "don't"!!! And let's not forgot what a friend we have in Static Guard!

I'm sure I'm in the minority with this "rule to live by," but I'll share anyway!

An alumnae advisor advised us never to be photographed with a drink in our hand. Even if it's a soft drink. Put down the cup/glass/can before the picture is made.

Totally agree...it's probably because I grew up with a mother who said the same thing. Her reasoning was -- if you don't take pictures with plates of food in your hand, why in the world would you want to take a picture with a cup/glass/can/bottle?

if an older member of your chapter tells you that you have had enough to drink and that they found you a ride home, you should probably listen to them and go! it usually means youre doing something that you think is fine at the moment, but will be embarrased by when you sober up! or it means that someone at the party mentioned to them that you needed to go and you sisters/brothers are being nice by getting you a ride home without making a scene!

No, NutBrnHair, you're certainly not alone. We were told the same thing by our Advisors!

OTW, I never thought of that angle, but it makes sense, too. I know that, unless it's something special that I've just cooked/baked, I've never let my picture be taken with food.

Obviously, my GDI-ex didn't know this "rule", as the best picture we have of the two of us together, he has the perennial brew in his hand! :rolleyes:

My best one is arrive together, leave together. Go as a group and then at the end of the night leave together. If someone needs to leave (or be taken home) early, they should check out with someone so you always know where everyone is. If you just HAVE to go home with Joe Schmo, go to your room, change your clothes and wear something more discrete than your weekend party clothes, that way when you do they walk of shame (not that any sorority girl would :rolleyes:) you look a bit less trashy. If he doesn't want you after you change, well that gives you a good idea.

I think it is also important to listen to your friends/sisters when they tell you 'no'. Stomping off and doing who knows what in XYZ chapter room is not the answer. Some part of you needs the mechanism to, no matter how inebreiated, listen and trust your friends.

I'm all about the no drinks in the picture. Everyone has a back, put your hand behind your back at the very least.

Check with your HQ to see ifyou are allowed to do this. Some insurance policies/companies (not sure of the term there) won't allow the chapter to sponosor these for liability issues. Your HQ (Risk Managemnet Coordinator or whomever) can advise you on this though, and if you are allowed to do it, would help you set it up.

Yes, yes, yes! A sorority sister of mine (who is now a former friend, I might add) used to have this little habit of leaving me at parties...even if I wasn't drunk, I still had no way home 'cause she was my ride! It caused some problems, and I would suggest to anyone that please, for the love of whatever, go home with the people you came with. It's not cool to run off and leave people, even if your boyfriend wants you to. :rolleyes:

And yes, going home to change before you shack is a good idea. Once I went to a guy friend's room after a Halloween party and we decided to watch a movie, which put me to sleep. I woke up the next morning still in my big poufy white "murdered prom queen" costume and that's what I had to walk back to my sorority house in. It was totally embarrassing. To make matters worse, I didn't have my keys with me and I had to ring the doorbell for someone to come let me in...needless to say, I couldn't just use the excuse that I'd been to Wal-Mart or somewhere. :o

Haha, sorry but that made me laugh! You know how Tri-Delts are with TP ;)

Betarulz, your whole list is good advice, but the two comments above are excellent. I agree that even if she's not wearing letters, a sorority member or new member should avoid peeing outside, especially when drunk. (The exception would be on a wilderness adventure / camping trip.) Isn't this something most sorority chapters would have in their by-laws anyway?

I have to believe that, when our charter was granted in 1851, the very thought of a lady going to the bathroom in anything but a privy or a chamber pot was not even considered! Over 154 years later, I'd like to think that it's STILL something considered private!

I do want to say that no girls peed outside while I was a host of a party, mainly because the events I tended to host were somewhat smaller.And it definitely is a bigger problem keeping guys from doing it. But there have definitely been times and parties during my years when girls did some surprising things (like the girl we called bottletop, b/c she managed to go in a bottle while on a bus trip to a riverboat party...we found out b/c she told us.)

PICTURES ARE FOREVER!!!

Not only forever, but a lot of schools have party pics on-line that can be accessed by anyone... even the parents that may be paying those tuition bills! Once on-line, you can never be sure there isn't a picture of you acting a fool out there that could pop up when & where you least expect it.

consider acting out the whole presentation. It seems to be the best way to get your point accross, and also get them invloved in the process while your acting it out. Remember Action Speaks Louder Than Words.

Don't do drugs in public. Not ladylike.

If a sister tells you that you are being dumb and need to leave you should do it. We have a word CORA that if it is called that person do what the other said. Only if they are representing the chapter in a bad way.

Eesh, that brings up some sticky situations--one of the organizations at Baylor's the Chamber of Commerce, which is often referred in jest as "chamber pots."

If it's not a porcelain "pot," don't use it.

Lots of great advice, though I'd add not letting the cops in under any circumstances. I think they have to have a warrant to search your house unless you invite them in. Stick some sober folks on door duty and keep the cops (and anyone on a persona non grata list) out.

I don't even like to have a camera out at parties. You never know when your mom's going to search your computer at home for "what is my little sweetie doing at college?" :rolleyes: Don't have the evidence of you or your friends three sheets to the wind by not creating it in the first place.

If you have an exhange....NO CAMARAS ALLOWED...Let's be honest...When we get drunk...we are not going to care how the pic turns out...and next thing you know ...it WILL END UP ON MYSPACE.

I dnt know about you....but CSULB...is Notorious for having girls dressing very scandalous...I am not complaining...i am a guy...Because it is really the only time you can dress like that and not have people label you as a hoe. I believe that you should tell your new girls to becare full who they hang out with. I am not going to lie...they are a few house that I am personally shocked that girls still go to after hearing about girls being drugged there.

I believe that anyone can do anything...as long as they can not get all crazy and end up dancing on top of the bra flashing their fellow sisters...at their Formal...yea...I know some girls that do that.

Also...Fraternity house rules...Even though it is not your house ladies...Please do not trash. We know that fraternity house aren' the cleanest...but we have people that live there...so when you put to much TP in the toilet...a pledge is going to clean it up

wow and wow
 

WOW, that is all I can say. maybe i have a dirty mind, but is this reffering to a little hanky panky on the dance floor. now girls, these mixers are a time for you to act like a lady, not a slutbag. ok

Dear God, I really hope this was a sarcastic comment. :rolleyes:

I saw a bumper-sticker the other day that said "MySpace ruined my life"...ain't it the truth?

Not if you don't put stuff you don't want the world to see on your Myspace. Easy.

didn't you mean
 

to call this the common sense thread?

1. Don't drink at an official event if you're underage. It doesn't make you cool.
2. Just because you have reached your 21st birthday doesn't mean you need to get drunk at all possible times.
3. Don't bring a date that you know will cart around an alcoholic pacifier or will arrive trashed.
4. You are responsible for your date.
5. Dress appropriately. (Learn how to tastefully show skin.)
6. You can have fun, but don't do anything that you think your parents would kill you for.
7. Respect the venue of the event, especially if it isn't yours.
8. Follow all rules the sorority sets, and make sure your date does as well.
9. Arrive and leave with sisters.
10. Make sure that someone sober is driving.
11. Don't bring a camera if you know you'll be doing something you aren't supposed to be doing.
12. PUT IT IN A CUP. 21 or not.

It's all common sense and they should know it. The best thing to say is to remind them that they represent their sisters and their sisters represent them. Behave accordingly.